by Nicole Dykes
“He did?” I guess he hasn’t talked to his mother much lately.
I nod, holding back tears. “Yes. I caved and called Misty a month ago. I had to know. And Shane, she said he's thriving. She said he came back for Christmas break but didn’t even stay the whole time because he had a job. He's happy.”
His eyes register the pride I knew he'd feel but then turn cold. “Maddie, he will never forgive us, and shouldn’t, if we do this.”
My hand covers his that’s resting on my bed, his body is stiff, and I know he's in agony. “I know, but that’s why the adoption is closed. He never has to know.”
“We will,” he growls.
“But he doesn’t have to. It’s the right thing, Shane.”
He yanks his hand away, straightening his back. “All right. I hope you know what you’re doing.”
He walks out into the hall and summons Kay. We sign all the necessary paperwork, and she turns to me with sad eyes. “For what it’s worth, the parents are a happy, well-adjusted couple that really want this baby. She's going to a good home.”
I’m left without words, knowing she’s trying to give me comfort, but I don’t feel any of it. She leaves with the baby and a piece of my soul. I turn to Shane. “Thank you. I’m sorry for bringing you into this nightmare. You can go, and you don't have to worry, you’ll never see me again.”
His jaw ticks, his arms tightly folded as he stands, not budging. “Do you need anything?”
“No. Please, just go.” It’s urgent, and I’m begging him, my emotions creeping to the surface.
He nods his head and turns to leave. I hold my breath as I watch him walk out of the empty and quiet hospital room.
And that's when I finally let myself feel it all. Crushing misery overcomes me.
Watching my daughter leave in arms that were not mine.
Losing Logan forever.
Saying a final good-bye to Shane and to myself.
Sobs overtake my body as I lay in a lonely hospital bed wearing a thin paper gown and saying good-bye to everything.
Nothing will ever be the same.
Eleven
Almost fourteen years later . . .
Logan
I pull open the wooden door of my hometown’s only tavern and walk straight to the bar where Shane already waits.
We're dressed the same, jeans and t-shirt, only he has his old, ratty blue ball cap pulled low over his forehead.
He has a mug of beer in front of him and nods his head to me casually. “You’re late, fucker.”
I roll my eyes and plop down on the bar stool next to him. I gesture at Jake, the owner of the bar, that I’ll take a beer and address my brother. “Yeah well, meeting ran long.”
Shane’s face gives away no emotion, it never has. He's always been the serious one. Of course, neither one of us could be described as happy-go-lucky, especially now.
When Maddie left me, something inside snapped. My dad dying, losing Shane, and then her all caught up to me, and I became mad at the world.
Not long after that, our mother died from a quick and brutal cancer. Fucking Keller curse.
I went to a fucking dark place I didn’t know existed. I tried to find her by interrogating everyone we knew and got nowhere. No one knew where Maddie went. Even Misty swore up and down she had no idea who the other guy was.
I hated her.
I still fucking hate her, but I’ve managed to push her far back in my mind, cursing every time something reminds me of her.
I went to college considering nothing was left for me back home, and I did phenomenally well. I graduated after four years with a triple business major and with honors. And then I came back to the place she hated.
I found Shane with the help of Garrett and went to him with a proposition.
Keller Drilling.
I wanted us to start our own drilling company. With his experience and my degrees, I knew it would be a success.
It was a hard sell at first, but he eventually gave in. Now, ten years later, we’ve pushed to the top of all the drilling companies in this area.
We have a solid business and employ most of the town. He's a brooding asshole, and so am I, but we’re actually closer than ever.
I guess that’s what happens when there's no girl with honey-brown hair prying her way between us.
“So, it went well then?”
I nod my head and thank Jake as he places a beer in front of me. “Yup, contract is signed. We can start drilling next month.”
Again, no smile, but I know he's pleased. This is a huge deal we just closed. “Nice.”
I take a sip of my beer. “Yup. May even have to hire a couple guys.”
“Shouldn’t be tough.”
Our conversation is interrupted as the creaky, old-as-fuck door opens, and almost everyone inside watches as a teenager, probably around thirteen or fourteen, walks in.
Her straight brown hair is long and hanging over her shoulders, and she looks eerily familiar. I can't place it, something about her face haunts me as she walks to the bar, dressed in jean shorts and a t-shirt with a backpack slung over her shoulder. It looks like she's asking Jake a question.
He points to Shane. “That's him.”
She thanks him and walks over to us, addressing Shane. “Are you Shane Keller?”
Her eyes are a blueish-green and look slightly hopeful as Shane nods, but looks hesitant to answer. “Yeah . . .”
“I’m Claire. I think you’re my dad.”
Her what? Holy shit.
I smack him on the shoulder, amusement on my lips. It was bound to happen to one of us sooner or later. “Who the hell did you knock up?”
Shane shakes his head, brushing the girl off. “You’ve got the wrong guy.”
The determined girl holds up a piece of paper. “According to my birth certificate, if you’re Shane Keller, you’re my father. And my mother is . . .”
Shane grabs the paper from her, his eyes full of . . . Holy shit, is that fear?
I take the paper from him. My eyes scan the birth certificate and see his name. “Shane, that's definitely your signature. What the hell is going on?”
Then my heart fucking stops. A cold chill flows through my entire body as my eyes land on the section for the mother.
Maddison James.
I stare at Shane, who looks sick. “Maddie?”
He stands up from his bar stool. “I can explain.”
My fists grab his collar, and I hear the girl gasp as I slam Shane's body against the wall. “It was you? The guy she was fucking behind my back? The motherfucker she left me for?”
Shane’s hands pry mine from his collar as he shoves me back. “It’s not what it seems. It’s bad, but it’s not this.”
The girl stands between us, facing me. Now it makes sense why she looks so familiar. She looks just like Maddie did at her age. “Who are you?”
I sneer at Shane. “I guess I’m your uncle.”
She looks confused, of course, and a little horrified as Shane moves past her to stand in front of me. “Logan—”
I don't let him talk, just pull my fist back and punch it into his nose. Now he's pissed as he wipes away the trickle of blood, but he barely flinches. “Listen to me.”
“Fuck you!” I hit him again as his hands grip my shoulders, slamming me into a wall.
“Logan, I can and will explain.”
He has me pinned as I struggle to get out of his grasp and continue to pummel him. “Explain? Explain what? That you knocked up my fucking girlfriend? The only girl I’ve ever loved . . .”
“What? You loved my mom?” Both of our eyes go to the girl who is now definitely terrified. “What kind of white trash, reality-show hell did I walk into?”
She has a point. “That’s a good question.”
Shane's voice lowers as he glares directly at me. “Technically, she was mine first.”
“Is that why you did it? To get back at me?”
“No.”
I free my
arms and push his chest with enough force to gain some space between us again. “Fuck you, Shane. Some fucking brother.” I turn to the girl. “Good luck, kid.” And then walk outside.
Maddie and Shane had a baby.
How could they do that to me?
Twelve
Logan
Two days later, my hands still have not stopped shaking with rage.
Not only did my brother fuck my girl while I played the role of the dumbass, unsuspecting boyfriend, but he got her pregnant.
Maddie and I used a condom every time. Every single time. She was so adamant about being careful, so afraid she would turn into her mother.
I was so fucking stupid and in love that I was totally blind. It all adds up now. Maddie was fucking Shane That's why she was acting so crazy those last couple months.
She left me for him.
That girl is the epitome of a man-eater, a devil in pink flip-flops and jean shorts.
There's a knock at my door, and my eyes dart to the clock above the mantel in my living room. It’s after ten, the sun set a couple of hours ago.
I stand up and answer the door, stunned to see Shane standing there with Claire by his side.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” I start to slam the door in his face, but his hand stops it.
“I know I’m the last person you want to see, but we’re brothers and fifty-fifty business partners. You’re going to have to talk to me.”
“Through lawyers, motherfucker.”
“Listen asshole, I need you to watch her. I have to take a trip.”
My eyes are clouded with rage. “You can’t possibly be this fucking stupid. I’m not watching your kid. Bring her with you.”
Claire, who looks even more like Maddie now that her hair is pulled up in a ponytail, speaks up with no shyness or fear. “I have a question . . .”
I nod at her to go on. “What?”
“If you were dating my mother, why are you guys so sure I’m Shane's?”
This girl is smart. She seems to have a common sense not many teenagers have and comes off older than she is.
Shane's eyes land on mine, and I meet them with a hatred I’ve never felt. “You want to answer that? I mean, you signed the birth certificate. Must have been pretty sure she was yours.”
“Were you and Maddison not sleeping together?” I stare at Claire, and she shrugs her small shoulders. “I’m almost fourteen, I know about sex. Don’t look so shocked.”
I try to shake it off, but it’s still a little jarring. And even though we just met, I find myself hoping she doesn’t know much about sex. “We did, but it was always protected.” I turn to Shane. “Reckless was more Shane's style.”
“Fuck you. I’m the one that taught you how to use a fucking condom, asshole." He looks down at Claire, and then his attention goes back to me. “Look, I can’t take her with me. I know you’re mad, and I can’t blame you. I’m going to find Maddie.”
“You’ve known where she was this whole time?”
Not that it should surprise me.
“No. Silas Cole is a cop now, and he tracked her down for me. Just watch Claire.”
I look at the teenager, who now has her arms folded and is full of attitude. “Where are your parents? Do they know you’re here?”
Shane looks uncomfortable as if he knows something I don't, when she answers me. “They died. Two years ago.”
“The Keller curse continues.” Shane lays a comforting hand on her shoulder. My jealousy soars off the charts, watching him be a father. “She's a ward of the state now.”
“Well, fuck. You're a runaway?”
Claire's light eyes darken, and now I see the Keller in her. “I won't go back to foster care.”
Shit. What's happened to this girl?
Shane grabs my arm as he walks inside my house and talks in a hushed tone. “I’m going to bring Maddie back. Claire needs her, and I’m not letting her go back into foster care. Just watch her. She's a teenager and a scrappy one at that, she doesn’t need much.”
“Fuck you, Shane. If the situation were reversed, do you really think you’d take care of the bastard child I abandoned?”
“Yes.” He turns to Claire and walks over to her, knowing I’ll do it. His hands hang on her shoulders as he kneels to look her in the eyes. “He's a good guy, you’ll be fine. I promise.”
With that, he stands and walks out the door, closing it behind him.
This is just fucking great.
The evidence of the love of my life and my brother's betrayal is standing in my living room, and it’s my job to keep her safe until they return.
Thirteen
Maddie
Shane.
Shane Keller is standing in my office, glaring at me. Anger radiating from him.
The last time I saw him, he was walking out of my hospital room.
I’ve tried to put the Keller brothers out of my mind, not letting myself think about them.
After I gave up my daughter, I left with the twelve hundred dollars I had saved and drove across the state to Kansas City. It wasn’t hard to find a waitressing job.
I went to night school and became a realtor. When I got my license, I changed my name to Jamie Maddison.
I didn't want to be found.
The thing is though, I’m the last person Shane would want to find. So I know without out a doubt, something is wrong.
I stand up as straight as I can, praying Logan is okay. “Why are you here?”
He leans against my desk, showing absolutely no emotion one way or the other. “We have a problem.”
“Is Logan okay?” The question bursts from my lips, unable to hide my anxiety.
“He was, until your daughter walked into the bar back home a couple of days ago. Now,” he shrugs, “he's pretty fucking pissed-off.”
Did he say daughter?
The room feels out of focus as my heart rate speeds up.
This can’t be happening.
“That's not possible, Shane. She was adopted.”
“Yeah, she was. But her parents died, and then she went into foster care two years ago.”
My knees feel weak, and I’m afraid they may buckle. “Foster care?”
He nods his head curtly, still not giving me any hint about how he feels about the situation. “Yeah. Guess where?”
I have no idea. That was the point of a closed adoption. “Where?”
“Right here in Kansas City.”
I shake my head, my eyes looking out the large window of my office toward the Kansas City backdrop. “She was here?”
“Right under your nose the whole time. The couple that adopted her was from here. I guess they didn’t have anyone that could take her when they died, no siblings or anything. So, she became another foster kid.”
He stands up from his leaning position on my desk and walks toward me. I look up at him pleading, my heart aching. “Is she okay?”
“Yeah, relatively speaking. I’m not sure what happened to her in foster care, but she has wisdom beyond her years. She's definitely been through some shit.”
I absentmindedly cross my arms over my tummy, the last place I carried her.
I thought she would be safe.
“Where is she now?”
“Logan's.”
I gawk at him in horror. “You left her with Logan?”
“Well, he is her father.”
“Does he know that?”
“Not yet. Right now, he thinks I fucked you.” His face edges closer to me. “That you had my baby.”
“Shane—”
“But you’re going to go home and tell him the truth. It’s time, Maddie.”
I shake my head, my first instinct is to bolt. But the intensity in Shane's eyes tells me I wouldn’t get far. “I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can, and you will. Right now, my brother hates me. He's at home thinking I slept with the love of his life and got her pregnant.”
“The truth isn’t any better!�
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“But at least it’s the goddamn truth. I’m done keeping this secret for you, Maddie.” He takes a step back, yanking his hat off his head and dragging his fingers through his hair. “Logan and I are good. We have a business together, and we're . . . Fuck, we’re actually friends.”
They’re friends? I just assumed they would keep going their separate ways. I smile slightly at the thought, having always felt guilt for tearing them apart in the first place. I’m happy they’re back on speaking terms. “You two are close again?”
“He's my best friend, and I’m done keeping this secret.”
“He's going to hate us.”
“He hates me right now. You’re a grown woman, not some scared teenager anymore.” He looks around my office. “Looks like you’re doing well and have it all together. Your kid needs you. It’s time to go back home and face her. And Logan.”
I’m not sure who I’m more frightened of.
Fourteen
Maddie
After the seven-hour, awkward as hell drive with Shane, we arrive in our hometown just as the sun is setting.
The town looks exactly the same. Fourteen years later, and not a damn thing has changed.
There's still only one gas station on the edge of town with two pumps, the same stone church, the same old high school with the same display board outside currently announcing the football game this weekend.
Shane's brand-new truck drives through town and then turns down a dirt road a few miles out. He parks in front of a beautiful, modern two-story house with a barn, a pond out back, and a truck almost exactly like Shane’s in the gravel circle-drive.
I stare out the window of the truck and up at the large house. “This is Logan's home?”
Shane opens the door to his truck and hops out. “Business has been good. Come on.”
My trembling hand finds the handle. I open the truck door and climb out, still staring in awe at the house.
