by Nicole Dykes
“Because Claire is a fourteen-year-old without a mother to bitch at. That’s just sad.”
I laugh briefly and shake my head. “She has you two.”
“She's a good kid. I know you have serious issues with home, but you need to get over it.”
“I can't miss more work.”
“Don't you realtors work from your phones anyway?”
“Yeah, well there's no service.”
“Hey, there's a spot in my kitchen that gets perfect reception.”
I laugh and then see Logan's eyes on me, clearly not amused. “I don’t think that will go over well.”
“Don’t worry about Logan. Just think about it.”
I nod my head, staring past Logan to our beautiful daughter in the back seat. “Okay.”
He seems to accept that and waves as he walks to the truck. He gives me a nod before climbing in.
I can't believe I’m actually considering it.
Twenty
Logan
“Wow. There are a lot more people in this town than I thought.” Claire's eyes widen as she looks around the fairgrounds, taking in the scene of the Fall Festival.
It's been a crazy few weeks since she showed up in my life. After I was granted guardianship, we came straight home, and Shane and I remodeled the guest room for Claire. My once simple and boring guest room has been transformed into a hot-pink and black teenager sanctuary. Thankfully, Maddie stepped up and signed alongside Shane. Even though it’s hard to be thankful to her, it made the process much easier. She even thought to bring the paperwork showing she legally changed her name, so everything went smoothly.
They dug through my financials and ran a full background check on me, and the judge deemed me fit. According to the state of Kansas, I’m Claire's uncle and guardian, but as long as we all know the truth, I’m good with it.
I’m walking through fatherhood at a clumsy pace, but I think I’m doing okay for the most part. Claire seems to like school and even comes home and tells me about her day over dinner, usually with Shane.
“Lots of out-of-towners,” Shane answers to Claire's amazement about the number of people strolling through the fairgrounds on the outskirts of town.
I haven't completely forgiven my brother for what he did, but he's the last of my family. Well, besides Claire.
We once spent years not talking because of Maddie, and I’ll be damned if I’m doing that again. He made it as right as he could, and I now have Claire in my custody.
Our shoes crunch the gravel as we walk toward the commotion of the festival, and Claire continues to look around in awe. “This is more crowded than the city!”
“Hey, the Fall Festival is the shit.” Shane almost fully smiles when he says that. I shove his shoulder.
“Shane loves the festival.”
“Not as much as you and Maddie did.”
My mouth forms a tight line instinctively at the mention of her. We never missed this festival. Not once, until she left.
I look around at all the vendors and the carnival rides. It hasn't changed.
“Maddison?”
I stop abruptly when I hear Claire's voice say her name. My blood turns cold as I see none other than Maddison Fucking James traipsing back into my life. She's dressed for fall in a yellow dress that shows off her bare shoulders and lands at her knees with a pair of tan cowboy boots.
My eyes instantly go to Shane, who of course gives nothing away. But I know he had something to do with this.
Maddie walks to us, stopping in front of Claire as Shane and I sandwich her between us. “You can call me Maddie.”
“Not Jamie?” I bite out.
Maddie sighs and addresses Claire. “You can call me whatever you want to. Maddie is what I went by until I had you.”
Honesty.
Claire nods her head, taking in the information. “Why did you change it?”
Maddie stands up straight, avoiding my eyes. “I guess I was afraid of being found. But I’m done running.”
My eyes dart to hers, but she won't look at me. I don't say a word because I won't upset Claire by going off on Maddie. Done fucking running? Because she had no choice. Her past came for her.
“Cool.” Claire is as level-headed as they come. The way she hides her emotions leaves no doubt she's a Keller. “So, what are you doing here?”
Maddie's eyes briefly drift to Shane. I fucking knew it. Maddie covers quickly. “I couldn’t miss the Fall Festival.”
“Really? All of the sudden you can’t miss it?” My anger is boiling, and I can't hold it back.
Shane places his hand on Claire's shoulder. “Hey, let’s go check out the kettle corn.”
Claire agrees, and they leave Maddie and I standing together before either of us can argue.
I turn to face her head-on. “Why are you here, Maddie?”
She looks flustered by my question, but then sighs, seemingly settling on an answer. “I just want to know her.”
“You gave that up fourteen years ago.” My hand gestures toward Claire and Shane angrily. “You took getting to know her from both of us!”
“I know.” She's gritting her teeth, holding back. “I hate what I did, but now that I’ve met her . . .” Her eyes drift to Claire. “She has my smile. And your eyes. She's smart and strong. I just can't stop thinking about her.”
Don't you dare feel pity for her. Sack. Up.
I take a step closer, my tennis shoes digging into the gravel, leaning in. “I can't stop thinking about a lot of things.”
“We brought kettle corn!” Claire's happy voice breaks the momentarily furious trance I’m in, and I take a step away from Maddie.
Claire holds the paper bag up, offering it to me. “Want some?”
I nod and take a handful. “Thanks.”
Shane offers some to Maddie, but she declines.
“What’s the matter, Maddie? Tastes change?” She used to love it. Made herself sick every time.
“I’m just not hungry, Logan,” she growls, and Shane clears his throat.
“All right, Maddie. Let’s go check out Mrs. Welsh's pie stand. You could use some fattening up.”
She rolls her eyes and nudges his ribs. “Screw you.” But she goes with him anyway.
I despise their new buddy-buddy relationship.
Claire takes another handful, popping a couple of pieces into her mouth. “I know this is probably really weird for you. If you don't want her here, I understand.”
“Do you want her here?”
She shrugs, playing it cool as she looks over her shoulder at Maddie. “It’s kinda cool. I mean, it was never really a secret that I was adopted, and I always kinda wondered about you guys.” I hate I wasn’t there. “She seems kinda cool, but I also get why you have issues with her.”
“Those are my issues, not yours. And if you want to get to know Maddie, you should. I'll never get in the way of that.”
Not even if it kills me to be around her.
“Thanks.”
We start to walk around the fair, eating kettle corn and talking. “So, they told you that you were adopted?”
She nods, popping more kernels into her mouth. “Yeah. They thought you guys were saints.”
I stop her and stare in confusion. “Why?”
“They tried to have a baby for a long time. My mom said they gave up and decided it just wasn’t meant to be, so they started the adoption process.” She snaps her fingers. “And boom, six months later, a young healthy couple signed away rights to a newborn baby.”
“You were their miracle.”
She nods and keeps walking. “Dad said it was fate. And mom always said a prayer for the sweet mother who gave her that gift.” She smiles fondly, wise beyond her years.
“I’m glad you had good parents to raise you.”
Her smile fades, and she wipes away a tear, quickening her pace, hiding from the pain.
If she wants to know Maddie, I’ll make it happen.
I meant what I said .
. .
I’ll do anything I can for this girl.
Twenty-One
Maddie
This was probably a mistake.
I had fun at the festival tonight, but the awkward tension between Logan and me was stifling.
I had a few moments with Claire, but nothing substantial like I’d hoped, although she is an amazing person. I’d always hoped she would be happy and well-adjusted, but when I heard she’d been in foster care for two years, I expected the worst.
I thought she’d be hardened and cold, but somehow the exceptional care from her adoptive parents kept her from that.
I still freeze around her. The guilt of giving her up eats me alive.
Logan didn’t know about her. That’s easy to forgive, but I willingly gave her up, knowing full well what I was doing.
“What are you doing in here?”
I jump at Logan's booming voice echoing through the large wooden barn and turn to face him.
After the fair, I drove my car back to Shane's. He slipped me a key when I declined to go to dinner with them, needing to clear my head. I went for a walk and ended up here.
Although he looked good in a suit, I prefer the jeans and tight t-shirt look he's sporting today.
“I’m sorry. I thought this was Shane's barn.”
“We share it.”
I nod and look around at the massive barn, full of neatly-stacked bales of hay, and various tools and supplies. “Right. I’ll go.”
His body moves quickly to block me from leaving, his eyes locked on mine. “I needed to talk to you anyway.”
I fold my arms over my chest, suddenly chilly. “About?”
“I’m sure you’re thinking about bailing.”
I hate that he still knows me. “I’m not bailing. I came here for the festival and to spend time with Claire, but I do have a life to get back to.”
I look away from him, my eyes falling to the wooden floor, hating how cold I sound. But being vulnerable is something I gave up a long time ago.
“I think you should stay.”
My eyes snap back up to look at him, searching for any sign of a cruel joke. “You what?”
“She wants to know you, and I won't deny her that.” She does? I’m still in shock as I feel his body nearing mine. I smell his sweet breath and feel his words physically touch my exposed neck as his voice turns to pure gravel, “But know this . . . You and I will never reconcile. I hate you, Maddison. I hate what you did. I hate who I've become since you did it.”
I will not cry. “I know.”
“Admit it.” His face is a mere inch from mine, and his words are dripping with fury. “You regret nothing. You got exactly what you wanted.”
“What I wanted?”
“Yes. You got out of this town. That's what you wanted all along, all you could talk about. Admit you don’t regret it.” His fingers grip my shoulders. But it’s not aggressive, it's desperate. “I want to hear the words come from your mouth.”
“I regret that I hurt you. And I hate that I missed out on Claire growing up . . .”
His full lips are far too close to mine, but they’re snarling. “But?”
“Fine!” I uncross my arms and poke his solid chest with my finger. “I think it was the right choice! She had a good life! And so have you.”
His hand wraps around mine, holding it in place. “Good? You destroyed me. I questioned everything when you left. I thought we were in love. And I damn sure would have provided for you and Claire.”
“Exactly! You would have given up everything! Your hopes and dreams, everything!”
“You were my dream!” There's no space between our bodies. The heat from our argument is clearly affecting us both as neither of us budges. “I thought you were anyway.”
“You were a part of mine, too.”
“Bullshit, Maddie. We could have figured it out, but you fucking left. You made me believe that someone else was kissing you.” His fingers trail along my bare arm. “Holding you at night.” It skims over my protruding collarbone. “Fucking you.”
A shiver envelops my body as my eyes watch his lips, and my body feels his touch for the first time in years. “I can't change it, Logan. I was a kid.”
“Don’t make excuses. You were smart. You knew I would be pissed, and you made that decision.”
“I couldn't do it.”
“You wouldn't.”
His eyes are hungry, I can see the desire through the contempt. Then his lips fuse tightly with mine, and his hands grip my ass firmly, lifting me up. My legs wrap around him naturally, my back slamming into the wall of the barn.
Years of being apart collide with the furious argument.
I feel his hard cock prodding me as I yank his shirt up, tossing it somewhere behind him. A whirlwind of emotions soars inside me, but I ignore them all except the pure primal need.
His mouth slides along my neck, and his teeth nip at my skin as my fingers claw into his muscular back while he presses against my core.
I let my legs drop as his hands release me, still pinned between the wall and Logan, neither of us stopping to take a breath. His right-hand snakes between my legs, pushing my panties to the side and exploring my wet folds, my fingers grasp his biceps tightly as he brushes my clit. His lips sweep over my earlobe. “You're so fucking wet for me. Does my anger from your betrayal turn you on?”
His steely eyes meet mine, and I square my jaw, not ashamed. “I’m just as wet for you, as you are hard for me.” My lips drag over his.
“Yeah well, I’m damaged.”
“We're all a little broken.” My teeth pull at his bottom lip, and he kisses me with a passionate fury that leaves me aching for more.
In a quick motion, his hands yank my thong off, ripping the thin fabric of the straps that never stood a chance, and he spins me around. His hands commanding me to lean forward against the pile of hay bales.
I don't even mind the scratchy hay as I hear the sounds of his jeans dropping and a condom wrapper opening behind me.
He thrusts into me without warning, eliciting a throaty moan from me as my hip move back to meet each hard stroke.
God, I’m so turned on, I’m already close to coming.
I want to stop time and enjoy every second, knowing it’s likely a one-time thing.
His pace slows as each thrust fills me and my fingers dig into the straw. One of his hands grips my ass tightly as the other starts to expertly stroke my clit, circling it and building me toward an intense orgasm.
My pussy clenches his cock in a vice, squeezing tightly, as my eyes close. My whole body tingles, exploding from pleasure I haven’t felt in years.
His hips speed up as he plows into me, the pace unforgiving as his fingertips dig into my hip, and there's a low masculine groan.
I lay under him in ecstasy for only a brief moment before he pulls out, and when I turn around, he's pulling up his pants, zipping them. His eyes show no sign of bliss.
No. They’re full of torment.
“Fuck!” His roar tears through the barn as he grabs his shirt. It startles me as he takes one last furious glance back at me and exits the barn.
I stand up, adjusting my dress and pulling a piece of hay from my hair as I stare out into the night sky through the open door.
So much for not feeling vulnerable.
Twenty-Two
Logan
Fuck! I can't believe I did that last night.
I pad down my stairs in my sweats and make my way to the kitchen. I slept like shit, tossing and turning all night long. I can't get her off my mind.
Her touch, her smell, the taste of her mouth, the feel my dick buried deep inside of her, and that fucking sweet moan coming from her throat.
Shit.
My cock is still responding to the memory this morning. I try to shake it off as I make a pot of coffee.
“Damn! I really thought you guys would wait a little before going for a roll in the hay!”
I turn around abruptly at
the sound of Shane's voice. “What the fuck are you doing in my house this early? And what? Do you have a camera in the barn or some shit?”
Shane shakes his head in astonishment as his fingers slide along his stubble, an amused grin on his face. “Holy shit. You fucked her in the barn?”
“Didn’t you already know that?” His smug attitude is pissing me off. “Roll in the hay?”
“It’s an expression.”
“How did you know?”
He nods to me. “Your back. Didn't know Maddie liked it rough.” The memory of Maddie's nails raking along my back comes to my mind. “Of course, we never got that far.”
“Fuck off,” I growl, never wanting to think about Shane and Maddie together.
“You might want to put a shirt on before your daughter sees that shit.”
That’s not a bad idea. I walk into the laundry room off the kitchen, grabbing a clean shirt from the dryer and slipping it on.
“So, you two are fucking?”
“Nothing has changed. I still hate her. Last night was a mistake.”
He takes a seat at my kitchen table, leaning back casually. “Okay, just checking. I convinced Maddie to come back for Claire. I wasn't trying to get you laid.”
“Why is it so important for you to get Maddie in her life?”
His eyes darken, and I see sadness in them. “Because I was there. I saw how much she wanted her, and I just let it happen.”
“There's nothing you could have done to change her mind.” I hand him a cup of coffee as I take mine and sit down.
“Yeah. That's what I told myself at first, but I don't know, man. As the years went on and I thought back, I think she just needed to hear it would all be okay.”
“I would have been that person if she would have told me.”
He shrugs. “Maybe. Maybe not. She loved you, Logan.”
“She had a funny way of showing it.”
He takes a drink of his coffee. Neither of us is great at conversation. “Look, I get why you’re pissed. But I don’t know, maybe you should give her a second chance.”
