With that thought in my head, I pushed Brick away from me, naked as the day he was born, rock hard and ready for me. Nobody can say that man is small; he isn’t. He’s enormous everywhere, and I mean, everywhere. Tattoos cover every inch of him, even a couple small ones on his face.
He’s handsome in a rugged, killer kind of way. Gets any woman he wants, and it confuses me why he wants me so badly. However, he’s not what I want. All I want is to be left alone. I want to sort my pathetic life out and fight to get back what Brick took from me. I didn’t deserve to be manipulated the way I was by him. Now it’s time to take back what belongs to me and be proud of who I am.
Who are you kidding, Fallon? Who the hell would be proud of a screw up like you?
Brick watched me with narrow eyes as I pulled on my bra and jeans. He grabbed my arm before I could pull on the rest of my clothes. ‘Where the hell do you think you’re going? You think you can tease me and just leave?’
‘My brother just died, Brick. I wasn’t thinking. I should never have come here with you.’
‘You are not fuckin’ leavin’...’ That’s all I heard before he hit me. I remember Brick screaming at me, but I don’t really remember what he was saying. He grabbed at me, touched me when I didn’t want him to. I don’t know how I got away without him raping me, because that’s where it was heading, but I did.
Lucky for me, Brick didn’t try following me, he just yelled what a stupid little bitch I was, how I’ll always be alone, how he’ll never allow me to see what’s mine again, and how one day very soon, he’ll kill me. The truth is, I believed him, and I am terrified that he’ll come for me sooner than I think.
I’m so stupid. If having a man feel me up when I was drugged up, unable to fight him off wasn’t bad enough, I let Brick touch me. What the hell is wrong with me?
You’re on the path of self-destruction, Fallon. Sooner or later you’ll end up dead if you’re not careful.
Red called me the day after to ask about Scott’s funeral. I told him to arrange it. He wasn’t pleased that I didn’t want to help, but I told him the only thing I wanted input in was Scott’s headstone and what’s written on it.
Red called me two days ago to tell me what time the funeral is and where it will be. At their silly little pirate clubhouse. Scott will be laid to rest in the same cemetery as the rest of their fallen brothers and old ladies. An honor, Tammy told me. I’m not sure what Brick will say when he finds out. Not that I care, Brick and his MC turned their backs on my brother years ago. They have no right to say anything, and they won’t be welcome at the funeral.
God, I look like hell. I’ve been standing in front of the mirror in my room for the past hour, just staring at myself. I don’t want to do this. Today is the worst. Okay, not the worst, but it’s not a day I ever thought I’d be having.
I pull my hair into a high ponytail and wipe my hands down my black dress, just to make sure there are no creases. I grab my large black hat, pull it on my head, and slide on my sunglasses. I need to hide my eyes from people, so they don’t see me cry. Because I will cry, this is my brother we’re talking about. I’m not some heartless bitch with no feelings.
The car waiting for me is not what I expected. I was going to make my way there via taxi. However, Ace is waiting for me in a black Impala. It’s a nice car. I didn’t know he could even afford such a car.
How stereotypical is that? For all, I know the man could be a millionaire. Doubtful, but you never know.
We drive to the cemetery in silence. I have nothing to say to anyone today — literally nothing. The graveyard, Red pick is beautiful. I’m not sure I would have picked a private biker cemetery to bury my brother in, but I did tell Red he could make all the arrangements for today. I know the cemetery is a private one, but I didn’t realize Snakes Henchmen owned it until Ace just said so. The beautiful graves state many names of bikers, old ladies, even children, and each headstone is gorgeous. I’ve never seen anything like this before. The whole place is beautifully manicured, and it reminds me of what a Royal resting place might look like.
I avoid contact with everyone because I don’t need or want it. Trace comes over to me through the church service, puts his arm around me. I instantly warm to his touch, but shove him off of me. I don’t want comfort right now; I want to lay my brother to rest then get drunk.
Shoving him off me doesn’t stop Trace from standing with me at the burial plot. He doesn’t touch me again, or even attempt to, he just stands beside me, letting me know he’s here for me. I haven’t cried yet. I thought I’d cry like a baby, but I haven’t shed one tear. How is that normal? I want to cry, I want to get it all out, but it’s just not happening.
Red is crying. He’s not ashamed to show his sadness in front of the men he calls his brother’s. There are a lot of them here, a hell of a lot. They’re all here for him, comforting him, shaking his hand and telling him how sorry they are for his loss. Tammy is crying, Cole and Trey are crying. Little Cullen is in his mother’s arms, not understanding what’s going on here. Yet everyone is telling even the children that they’re not alone, that if they need comfort, they can go to any one of the MC’s member’s and they’ll be right there for them. They’ve said the same to me, but I haven’t once looked at anyone. I don’t want to.
I must have been in a world of my own for a while. I’m kneeling beside my brother’s open grave now; a single white rose in my hand. There’s no one around me, but I know they’re still here, all standing by their cars and motorcycles watching me, no doubt.
How do you say goodbye? A real, permanent goodbye to the one person who has meant everything to you your whole life? My heart can’t possibly break any more than it already has. I guess it would if I had any left to break.
“I’ll always love you, Scott, and I will never forget you.” This is the first thing I’ve said all day.
“He knows that, sweetheart.” Somehow, I knew he’d be there, right beside me. My Trace. The man who should run a mile from a girl like me. I’m nothing but trouble, and so not worth his time, and definitely not his love. Not that I believe a man like Trace could love a girl like me.
I don’t say anything to him. What is there to say? My brother is gone, and I’m stuck sitting beside his grave, wishing all of this was just a bad dream, that I could somehow bring him back, and then everything would be okay again. But I can’t, and it won’t.
I kiss the rose and drop it onto my brother’s coffin before getting to my feet and walking away, Trace following me like a loyal puppy. I just want to be alone, is that too much to ask?
“Would you like to ride with us to the clubhouse?” Tammy asks me. Red, along with the rest of the bikers came on their motorcycles. There are so many motorcycles here it’s like being at a motorcycle rally. Tammy and the other girls came by car. I shake my head at her though because I don’t want to go anywhere but home.
“I’ll take her on my bike.”
“No, you won’t!” I snap with a little more venom than was necessary. “I don’t want to go to your stupid clubhouse, I want to go home, and I’ll make my own way there.”
“Fallon, you shouldn’t be...”
“I want to be alone, Tammy. All of you be with Red; he needs you, I don’t. Don’t even think about following me, Trace. I thought I made it perfectly clear that we are done! Just leave me alone.” I don’t wait for a response because I don’t need one. I walk away from them and head home.
The only person I want right now, apart from Scott, I can’t have. Brick would never allow it after what happened the other day, and even more so because he nor any member of his club was invited here today. He’ll be pissed and then some, so I won’t even ask for ten minutes. Ten minutes is all I need. However, I’ll go home and lay the fuck down on my bed and cry this shit out of my system. Maybe once I have, I’ll be able to find some way to move forward.
I need to find a way to put my brother to rest and move on with my life.
If only.
&nb
sp; Chapter Fourteen
Trace
I know Fallon just buried her brother, but fuck! She walked the fuck away from me like I was nothing to her. I thought it was just grief, but as the days go on, I know she means it. Fallon is done with me, and I fucking hate that fact.
All the times I’ve done the same thing to a woman, and it never occurred to me just how shitty it fucking feels. Serves me right for always being a damn cunt to women. Fucking them and leaving them like they were nothing to me. The trouble is, most were nothing to me but a pussy to sink my dick in.
I got Fallon to talk to me a couple of nights after her brother’s funeral. I followed her and forced her to listen to me. I told her everything I was feeling. I told her how she’s the only girl for me. The only girl I’ve been with since our first time together. Shocker, I know. I told Fallon how I can’t stop thinking about her and how I need her with me. I thought she’d tell me that she felt the same... I don’t know, maybe that she loved me or something, or at least that she wanted to be with me.
However, this is Fallon we’re talking about, and I should have known better than to think any woman could love me, let alone this woman.
Fallon blew the fuck up and told me that I’m nothing to her but a distraction from the hell she lives. That she doesn’t need me, doesn’t want me, can’t even stand me half the time. She also doesn’t believe for one second that I would be faithful to her.
I told Fallon how easy it is for anyone to change when they find that special someone, and she is my special someone. God, she really is. However, Fallon told me that she isn’t my special anything and I need to get it through my thick skull.
I tried so fucking hard to make her understand. However, she had to go one step farther by telling me how she cheated on me – not that she thought it was cheating when we’re not even together – with that motherfucking Cutthroat Brick! The fucking little whore let him touch her in ways only I should touch her!
Fallon then told me how I need to see that we could never be because two whores could never be faithful to each other. She said that she knew I’d cheat on her, and I knew she’d cheat on me, and that’s all she’d do if we were together, cheat on me. The way I cheated on Willow, and maybe now I knew what it felt like for Willow when I did those things.
Gutted is not the word I felt for what Fallon had thrown at me. I didn’t want to believe she’d done anything with Brick, but it was a little hard not to when she went into graphic detail about the way he kissed her, the way he touched her, the things he did to her.
I had to get out of there before I said or did something I’d regret.
That’s not to say I’ve left Fallon completely alone. I’ve been watching her from afar, just to make sure she’s okay. Just in case she needs me for anything. Just to make sure that cunt hasn’t been near her, because I’ll fucking murder him in the worst way if he comes anywhere near Fallon again. Not that I should care, after everything she’s done. However, I can’t stop caring about her. I’m driving myself crazy, wanting to be with her. I don’t understand why I feel like this, nor why I’m so goddamned obsessed with her.
Fallon hasn’t left that damn trailer in days. I knocked a couple of times, she yelled how she knew it was me, and am I some kind of sadist, and if I didn’t back the fuck off, she’d call the cops for a restraining order.
Seriously?
I had Shepard on my back about it all. He said that my head was in the clouds, and it was affecting my work. That could end up getting one of us killed on a run if I’m not careful.
It’s not like I want to be chasing after a girl that doesn’t want me. That fucking cheated on me. However, I don’t like being tossed aside like this! Not for a fucktard like Brick!
Shepard was right, though, I was letting Fallon get to me too much. So she doesn’t want me, there’s fuck all I can do about that. Tonight, I’ll get my dick wet in some other willing pussy. I’ll move on. I’m good at that. There’s plenty of women out there who want a piece of Trace — plenty who beg for my cock again and again.
Who the fuck am I to deny them?
Once this job is over, I’m going home to shower and change. Then, I’m going to the bar and grabbing the first slut who comes on to me. Because they will, they always do.
Must be something about the cut that has the women practically dropping their panties the second they see me — some sort of bad boy obsessive syndrome. You know every woman loves a bad boy. Never understood why myself, but whatever, it works for me, and that’s all I give a shit about.
I watch Tank with old man Jones. Silly old fuck is in his sixties and owns a small family-run supermarket. He thinks he can get away with not paying us half the protection money we charge the time. The trouble is, Tank isn’t the kind of man you fuck over. He’ll shoot you as soon as look at you. Me? Usually. However, right now, I couldn’t give two fucks if this cunt pays or not.
“Do we have to do this every week, Tom?” Tank stands with his arms folded around his big chest. I’m standing against the back wall, digging the tip of my pocket knife into my thumb. I’m bored. This shit is seriously boring me!
Fuck, Fallon has got so far in my damn head that I can’t even enjoy my job anymore! Not that protection rackets and criminal activity should be classed as a job, but to us, it is.
“I just think, after all these years, Shepard could give me a discount.”
I’m done here. I am so fucking done!
Tank might talk back and forth with him, but I’m not in the fucking mood for this!
I march right up to the old fuck and point my knife at his neck. “Listen to me, you stupid old fuck! Pay what you fuckin’ owe, or I’ll gut you like a damn fish, right here, right now. Then I’ll take the fuck off and leave your sorry caucus for your old lady to find!”
His eyes are wide, throat gulping as he swallows hard, hand in the inside pocket of his jacket as he reaches for the envelope containing his payment. He hands it to Tank without looking away from me. Tank checks it and tells me that it’s all there, but I still don’t move my knife from old Tom’s throat.
“Pull this shit again, old man, and it will be the last time you ever do. We’re done playin’ these fuckin’ games with you! When we come in here, you pay us. We want something; you give it to us free of charge. You get smart; you get dead. You got it!?”
He nods his stupid old head erratically. “Yes. Yes.”
“Good. Let’s go.”
Tank smirks and follows me out of that pathetic little store.
“You need to fuck that girl out of your system before you snap, brother.”
He doesn’t need to tell me that I already know. I climb on my bike, and he does the same. I roll my neck, cracking it as I go. I’m seriously stressed the fuck out.
“Bunch of the guys are going to the club tonight. Why don’t you go along? Never know, you might find the girl of your dreams.” He laughs. Cunt.
“The only girl of my dreams is a girl with a willin’ pussy. I plan to have my fill tonight, brother.”
“You do that.” He tells me.
I plan to.
* * *
The place is packed, just as I thought it would be. It’s filled with willing pussy. I’d only been at the bar two minutes before little miss blonde thing came over to me, flirting, giggling like a stupid little whore. As if I’m meant to believe she’s some innocent little thing who’s never fucked a man in her life. Dressed like this? Nothing but a bra and sparkling hot pants? Not a fucking chance.
It won’t stop me fucking ten shades of shit out of her. Bitch probably isn’t all that tight, but it won’t stop me. I’ll fuck her in ways she’s only dreamed of. I’ll fuck her cunt, her ass, her mouth, her tits. Yeah, I’m going to enjoy this.
She’s on my lap with her arm around my neck. Roman’s giving me knowing looks. I have no idea what the fuck his problem is this time, but he’s beginning to fuck me off. I don’t need his damn permission to fuck some bitch. He wanted me to stay aw
ay from Fallon, now that I am it’s a problem?
Like I give a fuck right now! This is me. Trace. I fuck ’em, and I leave ’em. They always come back for more. If they’re any good, maybe I’ll give them a second go. If not? Well, I got my fill. That’s all I give a shit about.
“Are you planning on taking me home, biker man?” Her sultry voice sends a shiver down my spine. Whatever her name is, is a hot little thing, and my dick is already twitching. I’m going to enjoy fucking the shit out of her.
“Ain’t the man to take you home, sugar. However, I’ll take you places you ain’t never even dreamed of.” She shudders, her face flushed as she looks at me. Even squirms in my lap a little. She’s already wet, I can tell from the way her body has heated to my touch, the touch of my hand on her hip.
She mumbles something in my ear. However, my eyes have caught Fallon walking into the bar with some of the old ladies of the club. Fucking brilliant! But why the fuck should I care, she’s the one who ended things between us. She’s the one who cheated. Now she can sit the fuck back and watch me in action!
Chapter Fifteen
Fallon
Who’s idea was this again, and why the hell am I in a nightclub with these women? I don’t need to get to know the women of Snakes Henchmen MC. Yeah okay, Elie is only a year or so older than me, and she’s great, but the rest of them are in their late-twenties – late-thirties, and everything in between.
I’m grateful for Tammy taking me under her wing and wanting me to meet everyone, but I’m not one of them. I’m just me. I’m a loner, and I shouldn’t have agreed to come tonight. Not after the argument Trace and I had. He told me that he wanted me to be his girl, that there has been no one else but me since the first night we were together. I wanted to believe him, but his reputation would have me believing otherwise.
Two Of A Kind: Snakes Henchmen MC Page 10
