Healing Hope

by C. A. Harms

  The entire thing made me feel uncomfortable.

  Chapter 24

  Hope

  “Maybe you should let Hank and I get you home.” I laughed, waving Libby off. “I got this.”

  Only I didn’t.

  As I stood up from the table, I could feel how unsteady my legs were, and I hung my head in defeat. “Fine, I don’t got this.”

  Libby giggled and Hank’s deep laughter joined as they both moved out of the booth.

  “Let me just settle our bill, and then I’ll get you ladies home.” Hank grabbed the ticket off the table and pressed a kiss to Libby’s temple before moving away. He was so unbelievably attentive to her. I admired the way they were, and that all only made me feel bad for the ways things unfolded before Travis left.

  “Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut.” The words were more of a slurred whisper, but somehow Libby understood me.

  “Uh, no.” Stepping forward, she bumped her shoulder to mine, and I had to reach out to stable myself. This only made her laugh harder. “Sorry, forgot you were sloshed.”

  Narrowing my eyes, I try my very best to look offended, and by her bright cheery smile I knew I failed.

  “Anyway, you said what needed to be said. Do I think Travis has a thing for the model-like whore from New York?” I suddenly felt nauseous. “No, I do not. That man adores you, I can see it. I’ve been around enough to know he isn’t a player. But it needed to be said. A deal is a deal, I get that. But he also needs to realize how he would feel if the roles were reversed.”

  It was true, yet did nothing to make me feel better.

  “Travis is always putting the company and the guys first. It’s what makes him such an amazing boss. But the problem is, now he has you to think about, and that’s where he went wrong. That woman is out to get your man, and he may not want her, but she didn't get that memo. He needs to open up his eyes, and then he needs to put a stop to it.”

  I didn't get the chance to respond before Hank was back to gather us both up.

  The entire ride back to my place I watch how he looked over at Libby each time he stopped at a stoplight or sign. He was in awe of her, it was evident. I don't even think she picked up on his adoring look, most likely because it was the way he always looked at her.

  It all managed to cause a lump of longing to develop in my chest.

  As we came to a stop outside my home, I reached for the handle. “We can help you get inside.” Hank started to climb out of his now open door and I stopped him.

  “I’m okay, really. The cool air and the ride home helped, I think. My head’s clear.” He still didn't look convinced. “Honestly, I have my keys.” I lift them and give them a little shake. “My legs are no longer weak, and my face is no longer numb.” Libby snickers, which triggers a smile to cover Hank’s lips.

  “Okay, but we are gonna wait right here.” He gave me a stern look that made me want to laugh. Big brother, or maybe it was wanna-be dad coming out in him. I kept my snarkiness to myself, climbing out of the backseat, and began moving across the darkened front yard. The only light was the small lamp I’d left on in the living room before I left earlier for dinner.

  I would have to figure out a way to get my car tomorrow, but for now I needed a shower, a couple Tylenol, and my pillow.

  After locking my front door, I peeked through the window blind just in time to see Hank’s Suburban pulling away. Without taking the time to turn on any lights I used my outstretched arms to feel my way toward the bathroom, stripping along the way.

  Once I was inside the shower and the warm water began to run over me, I began feeling human again. The steam slowing clearing my senses and my mind.

  Guilt over the jealousy I felt made me feel terrible for acting the way I did. Travis had never once given me a reason to doubt him. He’s always been forthcoming, and though he may not have come out and said Kenna was going to New York with him, I don't feel he hid it either. It was an oversight due to our inability to keep our hands off one another.

  Had he wanted to hide it, he would not have so freely shared the information the next day.

  Showered, dried, and wrapped in my robe, I went in search of my phone. Digging through the pockets of my jeans that still lay piled on my floor, I found it there. Fully intending to call Travis, my heart raced when I saw he’d already tried to call me instead.

  Sitting on the couch, I open up my missed calls and clicked on his name as I tuck my feet beneath me. I had already rehearsed what I wanted to say over and over, but those words fell short when a soft female voice answered his phone.

  “Hello?”

  For a moment, I thought maybe somehow, some way I had misdialed, but then I realized that couldn't be the case. I had called him back on the same number he’d called me from.

  “Can I talk to Travis, please?” I tried to swallow past the lump that had now formed in my throat, only I couldn’t. It felt as if it continued to grow, making it almost impossible to breathe.

  “He’s actually in the shower. Is there something I can help you with?”

  “You can tell me why you’re answering his phone.” The words fell from my lips before I could stop them. Then a thought occurred to me. Why should I stop them? “Or maybe why you’re in his hotel room when he’s in the shower?”

  “Is this Hope?”

  “Yeah, it is.”

  She laughed, not a deep chuckle, but more a condescending giggle. “We’d gone out to dinner, and then decided to have a drink. I guess time just got away from us, and well, you know.”

  “No, I don't know, that’s why I asked.” I tried to remain calm because women like Kenna knew how to make women like me feel intimidated. I didn't want her to have that power over me, even though on the inside I felt as if I may have already lost.

  “He’s not staying at a hotel, didn't he tell you? He’s staying at our penthouse.”

  There it was, the last hope I’d had at outwitting her. What was I supposed to say? Oh yeah, that’s right, he did tell me? He didn't tell me shit. After I had just convinced myself of his ongoing honesty, I get hit in the face with this lie.

  “Can you tell him that I called?” I wasn't even sure I wanted her to do that, but I had to save face a little. Who the hell was I kidding, this bitch knew she had me. She knew I was the little girlfriend back home that was living in some stupid little fucking bubble.

  “I sure will.” Somehow I already knew that was a lie. Most likely, it was the sarcasm that oozed from her words. But at this point I didn't care. I just wanted to end this call and climb in bed.

  Sleep was something I understood wouldn't come easy, but the shelter was something I looked forward to. The old habit of hiding out from the outside world was what I needed. Would it fix things? No.

  But at this point it was all I had.

  “Not that I’m not more than happy to spend an entire afternoon with my daughter,” my mother watched me with a suspicious look, “I am, really. I guess I just figured you be waiting at home for Travis. He does arrive home today, doesn't he?”

  “Um, yeah.” I continued to focus on the basket of towels before me. “I think so.”

  She was silent for a moment, and maybe I was making things too obvious. At this point, I have washed and folded almost two loads of towels. Prior to that, I washed and remade my parents’ bed. Let me just say, I hate laundry, I hate washing it and folding it. The worst part is putting it away. But today I did this all voluntarily.

  “You think so?”

  I didn't want to talk about it. If I did, it would only once again upset me enough that I’d feel sick. I’d done it all day yesterday, and for the second night in a row last night. Today was the first time I’d been able to accept that Travis and I may not be meant for anything more than what we’d already shared. Which is why I chose to ignore the details. It was easier this way, easier on my heart and my stomach.

  “Are things okay between the two of you?”

  No, they aren’t, he is a liar and he
may or may not have cheated on me. I couldn't stomach it. “I don't think things are gonna work out.”

  “What?”

  I ignored the silence that follows. Yet I couldn't ignore her when she stepped up to my side and knelt, forcing me to see her concerned expression. “I thought things were going so well.”

  “So did I.” I look away trying to regain even a small ounce of control. “Can we just let it go, please?”

  I half expected her to continue to push me for answers, but she surprised me when she stood and stepped back. Again the silence set in, and the uncomfortable knot reformed in my stomach.

  Maybe I was being a coward for hiding out at my parents’ house. Maybe I was being ridiculous refusing to face him, but I wasn't ready yet.

  I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to tell him that what we had may not be what either of us hoped for. How do you distance yourself from someone that deep down you didn't want to let go of?

  Chapter 25

  Travis

  “Travis.” I smile as Hope’s father greets me. “It’s good to see ya. You get that deal settled in New York?”

  I move to the side when he steps out onto the front porch.

  “Settled and locked, sir.” The entire trip was a waste of my time. Hell, the board didn't even let me talk ten minutes before telling me the jobs were mine. I was in and out in no more than an hour with the rest of the day to myself.

  “Good.” He grins wide. “That’s real good.”

  “I was actually stopping by to see if you’d seen Hope. I tried calling, but her phone must be dead and she’s not home.” Fuck, she wasn't anywhere it seemed.

  “She was here earlier helping her mother in the house. I’ve never seen her enjoy housework, but today I think she would have scrubbed the entire bathtub with a toothbrush had we let her.” Nothing about what he said made me feel better. I've sat with a perpetual lump in my throat for the last thirty-six hours, and this was only making it feel worse. “They went to the grocery store, and I think they said something about getting some rose bushes for Hope’s place.”

  I nod, yet my heart was racing. She and I had talked about planting some along the side of her house. She thought it would be pretty to look out her bedroom window and see the roses when they were in full bloom.

  I told her she and I would go get them, and I’d plant as many as she wanted. Hell, I’d line the entire house with them had she wanted it done.

  “You mind if I wait around for her?”

  “Not at all. In fact, I got something I could use your help on.” He waved me to follow him inside and I accepted the distraction.

  Next thing I know, I’m knee deep in a pit behind the house in search of a water leak coming from the drainage pipe off of the master bathroom. I was an electrician, not a plumber.

  “This entire area stays soggy, so I know it’s coming from here. He had dug a trench along the back side of his house. The home was old and had been added on to over the years. Who knew where the problem initially came from.

  I was so distracted with the task at hand that I hadn't even heard the ladies approach until Ms. Larsen’s voice echoed across the back yard. “What on earth are you doing?”

  I look up from the pit I was kneeling in to see her with her hands up in the air, her mouth hanging wide. “My lilies,” she practically cried as she scanned over the destruction area, “and my mums.”

  In that instance, I felt sorry for Hope’s father, because Mama looked pissed.

  Just then I notice movement out of the corner of my eye and see Hope there, too. Only instead of her staring at her mother and father, she is staring at me.

  “Hey.” I offer a smile, forgetting the fact that she’d been avoiding me for the last day and a half. “I came to see you, and your dad needed help.”

  “I see that.”

  She didn't smile in return or toss me some type of smart ass comment like she usually did. That fact left me feeling unsettled all over again.

  I carefully climb out of the trench and leave her father to deal with his still raging wife. When I’m closer to her, she looks away, and I find that disturbing.

  “I take it you’re still upset with me for not telling you Kenna was going to New York, as well.” I figured she’d be over it by now, and I’ll be honest, I still wasn't exactly sure why she was so upset about it. I barely saw her other than the times I was with her father. “Can we just talk about it?”

  She begins walking around the side of the house and I waste no time following her.

  “Talk about what? The fact that you neglected to tell me you would be staying in a penthouse with Kenna.” My eyes widen in surprise. How the hell? “Or the fact the she was hanging out in your room while you were in the shower?”

  “I didn't know I was staying there until--” Her words finally hit me. “Wait, what?”

  “I called you back that first night and your little friend answered your phone.”

  “She didn't tell me.” There was not even a record of Hope calling in my recent call log.

  “You sound surprised, but I can assure you, I’m not. I knew she wouldn’t.”

  “As far as being in my room, I can guarantee you she wasn’t, and I didn't share anything with her.” I could instantly tell she didn't buy my explanation. “Hope, it was her father’s penthouse and I didn't even know I was staying there until we climbed into the limo.” Again I was fighting a losing battle.

  “I think I expected too much.”

  “What the hell do you mean, expected too much?”

  “This,” she motions between us, “moved too fast, and I just think that with everything going on with you and the company, it’s too much.”

  “It is not too much.” I realize my voice had risen, and I hang my head taking in a deep breath. I feel such a sense of panic that I don’t know what to say or what to do at this point. “Babe, there is nothing going on with me and Kenna.”

  “There is something going on.” She was calm, which only made me feel even more unsettled. “She openly flirted with you, not just when the two of you were alone, but in front of me, too. She has made change after change, so she is guaranteed more time with you. Yet instead of doing something about it, you allowed it to continue.”

  “I didn't want to--”

  She held up her hand to stop me. “I know. I know you didn't want to jeopardize the deal. Yet you were willing to jeopardize us.”

  “Can we please just talk this through?”

  “No.” Fuck, my heart sank. “I’m emotionally spent and at this point I think you and I just need some time.”

  “Some time?” I repeat. “What in the hell does that even mean?”

  “You need to focus on this project and all it entails.”

  “At this point, there is nothing left to figure out. It’s done, it’s set.”

  There was no point, I knew it now. She wasn't breaking. “Okay, I’m gonna give you some time to calm down. Time to think this over.”

  “Don’t need to think it over, I already have.”

  Fucking hell, my adrenaline was pumping like a mad rush. “This isn't over.” I lean in and get closer, forcing her to look directly into my eyes. “I mean it, Hope.,You and I are not over.”

  I walked away because had I stayed, I would have tossed her ass over my shoulder and carried her with me. Considering I was in her parents’ front yard, I figured that wouldn't be best. My luck, her father would aim a fucking shotgun at me and demand I let go of his daughter.

  This entire thing was so screwed up it made me sick.

  I stopped by the house the guys were wiring on Henderson Court prior to going to the office. After being there only ten minutes, Tripp told me to get the fuck out because my mood was for shit. I couldn't argue, because I hadn't slept more than two hours since I returned from New York.

  More than once, I had to talk myself out of going to Hope’s house in the middle of the night and beating on her door until she agreed to talk to me.

 
When I enter my office, Carol looks up from the computer screen and immediately crinkles her nose. “You look like a sour puss.”

  If the woman wasn’t my mother’s very good friend, I may have given back a comment or two, but instead I grab the mail from the edge of her desk and begin moving toward my office.

  “Your mood is about to get a little more sour,” Carol hollers out after me and I look back over my shoulder pausing in the entryway to the hall that leads to the offices. “She’s in the conference room.”

  My heart rate spiked as I thought ‘she’ may be Hope.

  “That woman is so pushy and over the top, Travis. You need to put a stop to all this forwardness and obvious control. Now that the contract is solid, there is no reason to allow it to continue.”

  The sour feeling in my stomach began to rise, and suddenly my throat felt raw.

  “Did all of you sit around talking about this or what?”

  “Your mother told me you and Hope had a falling out.” I never mentioned it to my mother so that leaves one person, Tripp. “I can’t say I blame that sweet girl, Travis. You should have seen it coming. We all could see it, so what made you think Hope wouldn’t?”

  I say nothing, only turn around and move toward the conference room, feeling even more like an ass than before.

  When I enter, Kenna is sitting on the windowsill staring outside. She wore some tight little number that the shorts and top were all one piece. Of course, it was so short, or maybe it had ridden up, her ass cheek was practically hanging out.

  When she notices me standing there, it just so happens to be the very moment I am looking her outfit over. It was in distaste, but I’m sure by the smirk on her lips she took it as interest.

  “Good morning, Travis.” When she stands, she pushes out her chest. “Thought I would stop by and bring you a congratulatory gift for landing the deal.” She pointed toward the table where there is a Starbucks coffee and what appeared to be a muffin of some kind. “Blueberry,” she says as if reading my thoughts, “my favorite. Black coffee, no cream.”