Healing Hope

by C. A. Harms

  I hated that she knew things about me, even something as small as how I take my coffee. It grated on my nerves.

  “And I’m sorry to hear about you and Hope.”

  At the mention of Hope, my irritation turns to anger. “Are you?”

  She doesn’t smile, but by the way her lip tilts up on the side, I could tell she wanted to. “I am. She didn’t realize what a good man she had.”

  I tried to remember all the things my mother had taught me. Respect woman, treat them as delicate gems. But fuck that, this woman was not delicate.

  “Is remaining professional going to be a problem for us, Kenna?”

  “Of course not.” There was still the fucking smirk present when she responded. “I can keep this relationship whatever you want it to be.”

  “I’ve noticed the comments, the innuendos. I’m not blind. I’ve picked up on the distaste you express in regards to my girlfriend.”

  “Don’t you mean ex girlfriend?” She offered a little shrug, and never before had the thought of hitting a woman ever crossed my mind. But at that moment, visions of grabbing her by the back of her neck and forcefully dragging her bitch ass out of here hit me.

  “See, right there, that. What the fuck is the attitude all about?”

  “I’m just stating the obvious. She is, in fact, your ex. Am I wrong?”

  “The point is, my life outside of our deal is none of your concern. You and I are business colleagues, nothing more. We won't be more, whether I’m with Hope or not. Ex to me means nothing, because I will get her back, and no one, including you, is going to stand in the way of that. So as I said, is this going to be a problem for us?” My hands shook, my chest felt tight, and the irritation I felt was through the fucking roof.

  “No.” I didn't buy it, but at this point, had this gone any further, I may have lost everything, including my freedom. Because I wanted to fucking kill this bitch.

  “Good,” I say through gritted teeth, “because the deal has been made. I know my role in each and every one of the upcoming projects. I have a timeframe, and I will remain within the time. I guarantee each project will be completed on or before their designated dates. Nothing further needs to be discussed at this point. So these frequent visits, these late night meetings, and you ordering dinner, breakfast, whatever, can stop. You have a concern, bring it to me. You have a problem, we’ll work through it, but other than that, there is and will not be more.”

  The two of us stand silent staring at one another, no words exchanged. I needed her to leave.

  With a simple nod of her head, she turns around, reaches for her back and in the process hikes out her ass more then needed. I focus on the back of her head, and nothing more. When she notices the annoyed expression on my face, she shrugs again and moves around me.

  “We’ll be talking soon.”

  I had a feeling things would get difficult. She was the type to take rejection from a guy and flip it around in a way to make his life a living hell. What the bitch didn't realize was I was already living in hell. Because without Hope, that is what life felt like.

  Chapter 26

  Hope

  “You are still coming to the wedding, aren’t you?” I don’t look at Libby, but instead down at my plate. Tuesday mornings had become a ritual for her and I. We’d meet for a late lunch and share the things that had been going on over the last week.

  I’ll admit, I almost cancelled today. I knew it would lead to conversation about Travis. Not that I didn't still think of him, like always think of him, but I didn't want to hear about how dumb I was for walking away from such a good man.

  I should have talked it out with him, but instead my emotions got the best of me, and now my pride had me remaining distant. I just don’t think I could continue to stomach the games Kenna played.

  “I want you there,” Libby says, regaining my attention. “I know things are--” she pauses as if trying to think of a word to describe it.

  “Awkward?”

  “Yeah that,” she give me a forced smile, “but I’ve enjoyed our friendship. After Walker, we sorta lost touch, and I understand. I know that was hard for you, and still is. No one will ever be able to understand what you went through that day with him.” I could feel the burning in my eyes from my impending tears.

  “I’ve missed our friendship, and I want my friend at my wedding.”

  “I’ll be there.” I clear my throat fighting the emotions. “Promise.”

  This time she smiles genuinely, and I can’t help but smile in return. I’d missed her too, and it was nice to have a friend after isolating myself for so long. The chance of losing those we love was a risk we took. One couldn't live in a bubble everyday avoiding connection, I knew that now.

  “So let’s talk about our revenge plan on the whore from NY. Somehow we need to sneak into her hotel room, shave her head, and sneak out before being caught.”

  There’s the she-devil I remember.

  I hang my head once more, only this time it is not to avoid her eager stare, but to hide my laughter.

  I stood in front of the full length mirror in my bedroom. The long shimmering pale pink dress hugging my every curve was a purchase I’d normally avoid. It cost more than I make in an entire month, but I wanted to make a statement.

  It was petty and immature I know, but I wanted Travis to be in awe. I wanted him to have that look at what I lost moment.

  A Seraphina Silk Satin Gown that felt amazing against my skin. It made me feel like a princess with the silver accessories and heels to match. Smiling at my reflection, I took in one last deep breath and fired my legs to move.

  The wedding was taking place at a small church in Kansas City, with the reception to follow in the Plaza Grand Room at Grand Street. I’d been there years ago, and the romantic feeling is the perfect setting for a reception.

  I’d already drug my feet, and at this point, if I waited any longer I would miss the wedding itself. I refused to disappoint Libby on her big day. I’d already had roses, all pink, delivered to her at the church in honor of the beautiful bride. Special instruction: to be given to her personally no later than ten am this morning. The text I received at 9:48 confirmed their arrival.

  You’re an amazing friend, thank you so much for the gorgeous flowers. They’ve only made my day even more special.

  Pulling into the parking lot, I find the first parking space available and hurry from my car toward the front entrance of the church.

  With a quick inscription in the registry, I follow the usher as he led me to my seat. Once seated, it is then I finally take a look around, and the first person I see a few rows ahead is Missy. She smiles and offers a wave before she looks forward once more. From this angle, I could still see her profile, and the smile she once wore fades.

  Allowing myself to look in the direction she was looking, I see what has her smile faltering. All the groomsmen, including Travis and Tripp were at the altar. Travis was looking directly at me, no smile, no sadness, simply a blank stare. The entire thing made my stomach feel as if it dropped and hit the floor beneath me.

  This was a bad idea, a very bad idea.

  I quickly look away, and toward my lap, where my hands toy with the strap of my handbag. Nerves rush through me as I attempt to calm myself. “I’ve seen brides and grooms nervous at weddings. Even at times, the mother or father of them, but never a guest.” I can’t help but smile when I look to my right and see a man dressed in a suit. He is offering me a kind smile in return.

  “Everything okay?” I nod, forcing the knot in my stomach to subside.

  “See the best man?” He looks toward the altar, yet I don’t do the same. When he looks back at me, he is grinning wide.

  “Yep, and from the look on his face, I’d say that it’s in my best interest to move far, far away from you.”

  On instinct, I look toward Travis and find the man’s statement to be true. He no longer wore that blank stare from earlier, but instead an irritated one.

  “Let
me guess, boyfriend?”

  I return my attention back to the man at my side. “Ex.”

  “Ouch.” I nod in agreement. Ouch was right.

  “It’s recent, and I thought I could handle seeing him, but now that I’m here, I’m thinking I should have faked the flu.” Or came wearing a disguise. The flu would have been easier.

  “For my safety, I’ll pretend I don’t have a very beautiful woman sitting at my side.” I feel myself blush in regard to his compliment.

  The wedding music began to play, and I faced forward, ignoring the man still staring at me from the front of the church when he should have been focusing on the task at hand. I also ignored the way the man at my side had his thigh pressed firmly to my own.

  I’ll be honest, his touch did nothing, his smile didn't faze me, and in comparison to Travis, well, there was no comparison.

  The very instant the groom kissed the bride and the cheers erupted, I began to slip around the man at my side. The church was so full that I was able to get lost in the array of people.

  I made it to the front steps, rushing down them. Once my foot hit the sidewalk, a strong hand gripped my own and spun me around quickly. I had no time to prepare for the movement before my body crashed to his and Travis’ lips covered my own.

  I wanted to fight it I wanted to protest, but to be honest, I didn't have the strength. I wanted this. I believed even more than him. I’d missed him, and I’d regretted acting so irrational.

  “I love you.” For a moment, I thought maybe I had heard him wrong, until he repeated himself and made me weak in the knees. “I’m so in love with you, Hope, that the thought of being without you makes me feel like my world is falling apart.”

  His forehead rests against my own.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Leaning back, I look up at him and the pain in his eyes causes my stomach to do some crazy flipping thing. “Me, too,” I confess. “I should have talked to you, but when she answered your phone, I--”

  He cups my face and presses his thumb to my lips. “I stayed in that penthouse alone, beside a few members of Harland’s on hand staff. I went to dinner with her and her father, and we all went back there for a drink. I tried calling you, and when you didn't answer, I snuck off telling them that I was calling it a night. In the process, I’d left my phone on the table in the Great Room, and that’s the only reason why she answered it.”

  I nod, because I believe him.

  “She also didn't tell me you called, and even took the time to erase the call from the recent record.”

  “Not surprising.” She was a conniving bitch.

  “I’ve missed you,” he whispers the words as he leans in to kiss me once more. “This past week has been hell.”

  Again I nod, because I couldn't agree more.

  “I know we need to talk more, but I was wondering,” he pauses, slowly skimming the pad of his thumb over my lower lip while his eyes focus on the movement. “Will you be my date to this reception I’ve got to attend?”

  Smiling, I step in closer and whisper yes in return.

  “Good, because the guy in there that was sitting at your side was really starting to piss me off.”

  “Stop it.” I slap at his arm. “He was only talking to me.”

  “He may have only been talking to you, but I watched his eyes closely, and the fucker was looking down the front of your dress.” I look down and see there wasn't much that could be seen. “I may still have to have a few words with him about minding his fucking manners.”

  “You will not.”

  “Maybe if you agree to distract me enough, I’ll forget.”

  He hooks me around the waist and pulls me in so tight nothing could fit in the space between us. “You look amazing, by the way.”

  When he said it, I didn't just feel it in my cheeks, that familiar blush I felt earlier. I felt it in my entire body from head to toe. That was what Travis did to me, with every glance and every kiss. His words meant everything to me. I think that is what was so hard when I thought he’d lied.

  Chapter 27

  Travis

  Now that Hope was within reach, I couldn't seem to let her go. It had nothing to do with the guy from the church. Okay, maybe it did a little, but it was more. It was that I had felt so lost without her, like I had lost a part of myself. Now that she was here, next to me, I couldn't stop touching her. My hand on her back, around her shoulder or waist, hell, even her hand in mine. It was a connection I craved.

  She sat next to me at the table with Tripp and Missy. We watched Hank and Libby share their first dance, and the only time I left her was during my best man speech. Even then, it was her I watched. Talking of love, and finding that one person that makes you want everything out of life. Sharing my well wishes for a life full of happiness and I may have thrown in a comment or two about long, heated nights. But the entire time I spoke, it was from my heart. I’d rehearsed the things I wanted to say, and it had sounded so forced. But here today, in front of Hope, I felt like it was easiest thing I’d ever had to do. I just shared with her, in a way, the things I wished for with her someday.

  I could actually envision her at home with our kids. Her laughter mixed with theirs in greeting after a long day at work.

  When I arrived back at the table and sat next to her, the first thing I did was kiss her. I couldn't stop myself. A possessive nature taking over, and not caring that I was surrounded by not only my family but my friends, too. I was making a statement, claiming Hope as my own. From this point, it will be as it should have been already.

  She comes first.

  We all sit and watch as Hank takes his now wife toward the dance floor. The entire room stares in awe as he pulls Libby in close and begins to move her around the dance floor. Everyone but me. Instead, I watch the woman at my side. The way her eyes shimmer in the dimness of the room, the smile on her lips, even the way every so often her lower lip trembled.

  “I wanna give you that.” She turns toward me, and for a moment she stares at me with a confused expression. Then it hits her, the look of recognition taking over. “I want you to look at me the way Libby looks at Hank.”

  “I do.” She placed her hand over mine as it rests on her thigh. “I’ve looked at you like that for weeks. You’ve just been too wrapped up to notice.”

  I know she wasn't trying to make me feel bad, but the realization of the hurt I’d caused her hit me, and that deep ache of tension filled my stomach.

  “You know I do, too.” It was my turn to be caught off guard.

  “Do too what?”

  “Love you.” Fuck if that didn't make me feel weakened. “I didn't say it earlier when you told me, but it wasn't because I don’t. I do love you.”

  “I need to tell you that I told Kenna that all the flirting and pushing on her part needs to end.” Her eyes widen for just a fraction of a minute before she quickly recovers. “Though I think it may have just fueled her more. I have a feeling she is going to make things harder on me.”

  “But you got the contract?”

  “Yes, the deal is safe.” My guys were secure and so was my company. “I’m just not sure I’m safe.”

  She laughs and I arch a brow challenging her humored response.

  “Oh, you’re serious.”

  “Very.”

  Hope leans in and places a kiss against my jaw. “Don’t worry,” her whispers tickle the side of my neck as she skims over it with her lips, “I’ll keep you safe.”

  Oh, the irony in her words made the tension in my stomach lighten because it was true, she did make me feel safe.The last thing I wanted was to be trapped in the hands of a woman like Kenna. She reminded me of a woman you'd see on one of those Lifetime movies I’ve seen Hope watch. Ya know, the kind where the woman goes psycho when she doesn't get the man she is after and tries to off him by running over him with a rented SUV or something.

  I shiver at the thought.

  “Dance with me.” I don’t give her a chance to argue as I st
and up and hold out my hand toward her. Other couples were already moving to the dance floor, and I refused to let the opportunity of holding Hope in my arms pass me by.

  “Are you sure about this?” Missy looks around my living room where her three boys are now running around. “They are so excited about spending the weekend with you that I’m afraid that excitement has turned them into three uncontrollable monsters.” She honestly appeared as if she felt bad for leaving me to do with the havoc.

  “Stop fussing, woman. We are not canceling this getaway.” Tripp slapped her hard on her ass and she yelped. “Now let’s get a move on. Travis will be just fine.” My brother chuckled as he walked out the door. Asshole loved seeing me sweat. Only I had a plan.

  “I called Hope, and she’s coming over to help out. She actually sounded as if she was looking forward to it.”

  “That poor girl has no idea what she is getting herself into. You,” she pointed to my chest, “are the tame one. Your brother, on the other hand, is off the wall crazy at times, and those three came from him. You should really warn her of what she’s agreeing to.”

  Just then, Tripp jogs up my front steps and hurries behind Missy. In one quick movement, he scoops her up, tosses her over his shoulder, and carries her away. She doesn't even attempt to fight him.

  “Bye, boys,” she hollers out and the boys come running. One after the other, they scream out their goodbyes before disappearing back inside. I watched as the two get into the car and drive away. Suddenly, I hear something break behind me and I hang my head, wondering what the hell I was thinking when I agreed to this. Then I see their faces as they each look up at me, then to the broken lamp on the floor. Their hands twist nervously in front of them and I remember why.