Healing Hope

by C. A. Harms

I loved these kids.

  “I didn't like those lamps anyway.” I walked toward the closet in the kitchen that held my broom and dustpan. “They were a gift, and honestly, I’ve been wanting to get new ones.”

  I didn't care for the look on their faces. That fearful look that they may get in trouble.

  “Dad tells them not to throw pillows all the time.” Tate looks between the two younger boys and I grin. He looks and acts just like Tripp. That same scolding glare, his lips pressed in a tight line. “They’ve broken more than one lamp at our house.”

  “In this case, they’ve done me a favor.” I make light of the situation because by the look on Tate’s face, he was seconds away from placing them over his knee and whipping their asses. It amazed me how he acted so grow up now. Kids grew up to fast these days.

  I hurried to clean up the mess because it was a reminder of something the boys did, and I wanted their sadness to disappear quickly. I was the fun uncle, the cool guy, so no tears. I couldn't do tears. Hell, it hadn't even been ten minutes after their parents were gone and I had a set of twins on the verge of a breakdown.

  I was just dumping the last of the ceramic shards into the garbage can when there was a soft knock on the door, just before it came open. Her blonde hair almost glowed with the sunlight from behind her peeking through the strands.

  “Hey,” I could instantly sense the timidness in her voice.

  Each of the boys looked in her direction, and she stepped inside the rest of the way and closed the door behind her.

  I was just about to break the tension I could see she was feeling when Lance and Graham took off toward her. Hope’s eyes grew wide, and before I had the chance to stop them, they threw their little arms around her waist and she stumbled back a foot or two before regaining balance.

  Their loud squeals mixed with their laughter filled the living room.

  “They are dweebs,” Tate scoffs. He reaches into his back pocket, pulls out his iPod, and begins moving toward the couch. He tried to appear unimpressed, but every so often I would see him look toward the direction of the boys. Or maybe it was Hope.

  I wanted to tell him I knew what effect she had on a man, or in his case a young boy, but instead ignored his interest.

  Returning my attention to Hope, I watch as she attempts to walk toward me with one boy tangled around each leg. It was their signature move, they were little cling-ons.

  When she finally reached me, she looked up, taking in one deep breath after another. “They don't look like they’d be heavy, but…” her eyes widen to emphasize that assumption was way off.

  “They’re tanks,” I finish for her as she nods.

  “Did you bring your things?”

  “In the car.”

  “Hey Tate,” he looks up from his device he had in his hands as if it were his life-line. “Do you want to help me get Hope’s things out of her car?”

  It would be a chance for me to liven the kid up a bit and bring him back to his age level.

  I walked behind him, leaving Hope with the twins, and once we were outside, I grabbed Tate’s shoulder and led him to the small bench just to the left. “Let’s sit for a few minutes and talk.”

  “About what?”

  “Nothing in particular, just feel like we don’t get the chance to talk much anymore without the boys and your parents.”

  “Those two are insane.” He rolls his eyes.

  “You think that now, but one day you’ll look at them differently.” He arches his brow and I laugh. “Really, your father and I used to beat the shi-,”I pause, “crap out of one another.”

  Tate chuckles when I correct myself.

  “We would always hassle one another and look for ways to embarrass the other. I swear we couldn't wait to move out and get away from one another. But now that’s all different, your father is my best friend. He’s the one I turn to always, and one day I think you’ll feel the same about Lance and Graham.”

  He didn't really look like he believed me, but he accepted what I had to say.

  “So,” I watch him out of the corner of my eye. “What do you think of Hope?”

  Yeah, he’s met her before, but I’ve never gotten the chance to ask what he thinks.

  “She seems nice.”

  Chuckling at his response, “That’s all I get?”

  “What am I supposed to say?” His nose crinkles in confusion.

  “How about Uncle Trav, she is great, she’s pretty and nice. You did a great job.” I bump shoulders with him and finally he laughs. “You agree, don’t ya?” He tries to look away and I see his cheeks redden. “Come on say it.”

  I tickled his side and he tried to move away, but I hold him close.

  “Say it.”

  “Okay,” he hollers, “she’s great.”

  Hearing him laugh and be a kid was what I was shooting for.

  “And cute.” I don't let up on the tickling.

  “Fine, she’s cute.”

  I laugh when he finally confesses and move my arm up over his shoulders and pull him in for a hug. Using my other hand, I rough up his hair. “Stop growing up so fast, kid.”

  Chapter 28

  Hope

  I sat cuddled up in the recliner, a huge blanket wrapped around me, my feet tucked beneath me, staring at the four before me. Travis sat in the center of the living room, and surrounding him was the three boys. They were each working hard on a project before them.

  The coffee table had become an array of parts and pieces. Travis and Tate worked on a model of an Apache helicopter. Model glue and paint shielded between them and out of reach from the two younger ones. The twins were working on something a little less complicated, and it was so cute to see them showing each other how to link the parts together. Their model didn't need glue or paint, but a simple connection of parts by linking them together at the ends.

  They were building a garbage truck, and the pure joy and dedication in their eyes as they worked together was one of the sweetest things I had ever witnessed. It only made me realize how much I wanted kids of my own one day. Not just one though, I wanted them to have siblings to share their lives with. No, it wouldn't always be times like these they would share. I knew that, but these moments made up for the rough ones by far.

  “I got it,” Graham yelled, making all of us jump in reaction to the high pitched scream. He laughed and then he and Lance did a fist bump that made us all laugh. “We are bad ass.” And then we all froze when Lance announced how cool he thought they were.

  “Bud.” I snicker, then hide it in my blanket when Travis looked over at me in warning. Nice try at the fatherly roll, but I saw the smirk tugging at his lips.

  Returning his attention back to Lance, he clears his grin.

  “We don’t say things like that.”

  “But my dad does,” his innocent little face made it impossible not to smile. But I was still hidden behind the blanket so it was all good.

  “Well, he’s an adult.” Travis still kept a straight face.

  “I can’t wait to be an adult,” Lance said, while continuing to work on his truck. His little nose was crinkled up, his eyes squinted in concentration.

  “Why’s that?”

  I was completely intrigued by the conversation taking place between uncle and nephew.

  “Because,” his little shoulder lifts in a shrug. “You get to stay up late, say things without getting in trouble, and you get to kiss girls.”

  Travis shoots a look in my direction and I bury my face in the cover deeper, seeing Travis’ shoulders shake as he fights his laughter.

  “Ewww,” Graham groaned in disgust. “Why would you want to kiss a girl?”

  “They smell nice,” Lance explained, showing his annoyance as he glares at his brother.

  Travis only nods in agreement and I shake my own head. “They do, bud.” He throws a wink in my direction. “They really do.”

  I had a feeling that Missy and Tripp had their hands full with this budding Casanova. He was goi
ng to be their Prince Charming for sure.

  Stepping out of the shower, I hang my head and begin to towel dry my hair before wrapping the second towel around it. Once secured I flip the towel up and over, and shriek in surprise when I see Travis standing in the doorway. The bathroom was connected to his bedroom and I hadn’t taken the time to close the door thinking that the main door to the room was good enough.

  Pressing the palm of my hand to my chest, I purse my lips when he chuckles. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” I don’t miss the way his eyes roam over me before his gaze reconnects with mine. “I was hoping I’d catch you before you covered up.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yes, really.” He moves in and my pulse quickens. “But this is easy enough to remove.”

  “Who says I want you to remove it?”

  Great job, Hope, your trembling needy voice doesn't give it away at all.

  He doesn't even respond, only moves in closer, as if stalking his prey. I back up toward the sink and get flashbacks of the last time he cornered me in a bathroom.

  “Though I truly enjoyed our last bathroom vanity experience,” he braces a hand on the sink at either side of me, his mouth hovering oh so close to mine, “I prefer we take this to the next room.”

  “What if I don’t--”

  I stop mid sentence when he shakes his head.

  “You want it,” he assures me. Cocky, but nothing about that tames my need for him. In fact, it only heightens my arousal.

  “Unless you prefer here?”

  It was my turn to shake my head. “Bed.”

  “I never said anything about the bed.” That god damned smirk of his was killing me. “We may eventually end up there, but I have a few ideas.”

  My heart begins to beat rapidly.

  Travis takes my hand in his and begins to lead me from the bathroom. I look over to confirm the door is still closed just before he pulls me around and my chest is firmly against his own. The towel still separating us. As if he can read that thought, he reaches between us and suddenly the towel falls away from my body and pools at our feet.

  He wore only a pair of shorts, and though I wasn't sure what hid beneath, I would assume it was nothing. Travis’ rarely wore anything at night under his clothes.

  His eyes were locked on me, an intense stare that only managed to spike my desperation for this to move a little faster. Taking matters into my own hands, I slip my fingers beneath the waistband of his shorts and begin to lower them. As I slink to the floor, I smile when I realize my assumption was correct. He was now on full display as his cock bobs only inches from my lips.

  Instead of rising back up, I remain where I was and place my knees to the floor. Looking up at him, he watches me close as I fist him and bring my lips closer. Jetting my tongue out, I lick the tip, and I swear his knees almost buckle. “Hope.” My name falls from his lips in a husky whisper, and I suddenly feel powerful.

  Moving in closer, I carefully and teasingly take him inside my mouth, working him with both my tongue and hand. Each time he moaned, I would feel the excitement of the moment race through me all over again.

  It was well into the night, and we should both be exhausted, only we weren’t. We were desperate to reconnect after the way things had almost fallen apart between us.

  The deep breaths he took, mixed with his pleased moans, only persuaded me to give more. I loved hearing his pleasure.

  “Come here,” he cups my cheek and I look up at him as I release him from my mouth and begin to rise. His mouth covers mine immediately, his tongue tasting my lips.

  “I need you.” His confession hung heavy between us as we stare at one another. “I always need you.”

  If only he understood what that meant to me, to hear those words. There was a time, a moment of weakness, when I allowed myself to believe that he didn’t. Now I feel shameful for allowing that woman to taint what we have. I lift my hands and placed them on each side of his face, rising up to bring my face close to his.

  “Take me,” I whisper, brushing my lips over his.

  Those two simple words was all he needed.

  Turning me around, he walked me toward the far side of the room near the floor to ceiling windows. I was thankful they were covered with blinds as he presses me to the coolness of the wall.

  Reaching down, he fists his erection and I arch back allowing him access. The moment he slides inside me, I bite down on my lower lip, pushing back against him.

  “You will always be mine.” I couldn't argue, because I felt it, too.

  Travis links his fingers with mine and lifts our joined hands up high, placing them against the wall before us, and together we move. Getting so lost in the way our bodies give one another everything they could possibly need. The deep connection that was not only physical, though that part was pretty damn powerful, but emotional, also.

  Chapter 29

  Travis

  “What’s this?” I step up behind Hope as she washes the dishes in her sink.

  I held the envelope addressed to her from the University of Missouri-Kansas City out in front of her. It had been opened, so I assumed she’d read it.

  “I was thinking maybe I’d go back to school and finish my degree.”

  I step back, grip her waist, and spin her around to face me. I don’t even acknowledge the fact that the entire front of my shirt and the crotch of my pants are now wet from the water that sloshed out of the bowl she held in her hands. That was until she looked down and laughed at my appearance. It looked like I pissed myself.

  “Are you serious?”

  She nods and offers a bright smile that I swear hits me straight to the heart.

  “What changed your mind?”

  I remember the guilt she said she felt of moving on with that part of her life because Walker wasn't here to share it. I’ll admit a part of me was jealous of the connection they once shared. He gave her enough strength to want to be more. I wanted that ability.

  “You did.” I cock my head to the side in confusion. Had I heard her wrong? Had I wanted it to be me that persuaded her so badly I’d imagined it?

  “Me?”

  “Yes, you.” Not caring that by pressing her body to mine she, too, would get soaked, she stepped forward. “I don't know if I would have found the strength to do it without you supporting me. Telling me that it’s okay that I move forward, and doing your best to make me believe it. You did that.”

  Fuck, if she wasn't trying to make a grown man weep, she was so damn close. Walls that I had been trying to break down from the very first day I met her were coming down.

  “But there is one thing I need to do before I enroll completely.”

  “What’s that?”

  She toys with the back of my shirt as she averts her eyes to my chest. I knew there was a reason she was avoiding eye contact, and it left a knot in my chest. This was the part I was sure I wouldn't like.

  “I need to go see Walker’s parents.”

  That familiar jealousy I’ve felt before when hearing his name returned. I knew it was wrong, but fuck me, I couldn't stop it. It’s always there in the back of my mind, the continuous question. Will I ever be for her what he was?

  “Do you want me to go with you?”

  Please say yes.

  “I think I need to do it alone.” She finally lifts her gaze to meet mine once again. “But thank you for offering.” A moment of silence passes when I nod, still unable to speak due to her rejection. I was being ridiculous, I knew this, but I couldn't stop it.

  I had a small sense of what she must’ve felt in regard to me and Kenna.

  “I haven't seen them since the funeral. I just couldn’t,” she shrugs as her eyes fill with tears. “But I feel like I can now. You did that.”

  “I love you, that’s all I ever did. This is you, you’ve found that courage.”

  “Because you helped me find it.”

  I lean forward and press my forehead to hers, and for a moment we only stand there, simply holdin
g one another close. Her words, rolling throughout my mind, caused an ache within me. This was a big step for her, something that not that long ago, she couldn't even think twice about.

  I wasn't sure that pain inside her would ever fully fade. She still had that guilt, the idea that his death was caused by her choices. No amount of reassurance would calm that. It would be something she would have to move past on her own. But I’d be here, if she needed a shoulder. Hell, if she needed someone to yell at, I was here. I wanted her peace, I think even more than she did. I wanted her whole, I wanted Hope.

  “Are we okay?”

  “Yes,” lifting her hand she cups my cheek and I lean into her touch. “Why wouldn't we be?”

  “Honestly?”

  “Always.” She doesn't even hesitate.

  “I feel like I drove a wedge between us that’s still there.” She steps back and lowers her palm to rest upon my chest. The look of concern in her eyes pulls at something inside me. “I know we never really talked about everything.”

  “I know nothing happened.”

  I loved the fact that even after all the shit, she trusts me. “I would never hurt you intentionally.” Covering her hand with my own, I held it in place over my heart.

  “We’re okay.”

  I step forward quickly and the movement surprises her as her eyes grow wide. “I want more than okay,” I stress. “I want strong, together, and whole.”

  “You want honesty?”

  “Always,” I repeat her earlier words.

  “It hurt me that, on more than one occasion, you canceled our plans to be with her. It drove me insane to see the way she looked at you. I could see that interest in her eyes, the way she watched you with hunger.” I tried to speak, only she pressed two of her fingers to my lips to hush me. “I was angry at you, disappointed even. I thought the worst, I won't lie. I thought I’d lost and she’d won.”

  I shake my head but remain quiet, I knew she had more to say, and I would give her that.

  “When I pulled in to find your truck at my parents’ that day, I was furious. I had every intention of telling you to go to hell and that you were a cheating asshole. But I think there was this part of me that knew you wouldn't do that. Yes, I was heartbroken thinking you had lied to me. I was tired of competing with Kenna.”