To Night Owl From Dogfish

by Holly Goldberg Sloan

  I would never, ever have come here if I’d known about this. I’ve tried to explain to my counselor, Jilly, that open (deep) water is a big problem for me, but she’s not listening. Will you guys call and explain? Maybe also send a note from Dr. Glossman? There isn’t even a camp therapist, like at CIGI.

  The only person paying attention to my situation is a very nice girl from somewhere out west. She’s also a first-time Tarnie. All the others are in Year Five of Camp Cruelty.

  I miss you guys so much. HELP!

  Love,

  Avery

  * * *

  Dear Papa & Kristina (reversing alphabetical order),

  They won’t let me call you. I tried. I’m writing again. For the first two days, I refused to get into the canoe. I pretended I had bad period cramps. But then Jilly said I had to row. And I honestly thought she might become violent. She said I was making her look bad and it would affect her end-of-summer report. I guess that’s really important to her.

  Before I got into the canoe I asked for earplugs, a nose clip, and the owner’s manual for what I now know is called a Type II personal flotation device. It provides 15.5 pounds of buoyancy. I tried wearing two of them when I was in the canoe, so I would have 31 extra pounds of buoyancy, but I got way too hot and uncomfortable. (And anyway, the human body has on average a relative density of 0.98, which means that I’d float even without the devices. Supposedly.)

  I really feel like I could still drown when I’m in the canoe. But obviously it would now be a lot harder.

  Luckily I was able to be in the same canoe as the nice girl, and she doesn’t care if I just pretend to paddle. Wearing the double flotation devices means it’s hard to move my arms. I’ve kept my eyes shut for the first few rides and hummed as a distraction technique.

  Please get me out of the long canoe trip. Or else please let me come home before it happens. I miss you guys so much. I don’t think I can stay here.

  Love,

  Avery

  * * *

  Dear Dad,

  YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS. We have NO ELECTRICITY in my cabin. NONE. There’s NOT a power outage. THAT’S THE WAY THE CAMP RUNS.

  We have lanterns at night (no candles because they think we’d burn down the place). I really didn’t read much about Far View Tarn before I came here. I’m not complaining. I just want you to know that I feel LUCKY we have flush toilets.

  It’s all SUPER old-school. That’s why you’re getting a LETTER. Pen + paper (writing is required). It’s like the Stone Age. Or the Paper Age. So I’m spending the summer in this really primitive place, except with a LOT of rules. Only they don’t call them rules. They call them “traditions.”

  Jilly, our counselor, starts EVERY SENTENCE with, “One of our traditions here at Far View Tarn . . .” then she’ll just straight up tell us to do something. Like, “One of our traditions here at Far View Tarn is to shower every night before bed, so get in there.”

  But Jilly’s excited the way I’d be if you said, “One of our traditions here at Far View Tarn is to go on a roller coaster.” Only obviously they don’t have a roller coaster. That would require power. A girl named Annie November said that her brother, Rocco, is at a ROLLER COASTER CAMP. For real. They have a bus + the kids stay in motels + travel around to amazing amusement parks where kids ride each of the roller coasters 30 times. I’d REALLY like to trade places with that kid for a while.

  So the BIGGEST camp tradition here is CANOEING EVERY DAY. Then in the last week of camp we all row to the other side of the lake, which is maybe 15 MILES across. We spend the night and row back the next day. That just seems like a lot of rowing to me.

  But one girl in my cabin is AFRAID OF DROWNING, so I feel VERY bad for her. I guess she’s from someplace without lakes. Someplace very, very dry. She might be from Dubai. She didn’t know about the forced rowing when she signed up.

  The kids here are all pretty nice, except for a snotty girl named BRIELLE, who I just stay away from. There aren’t many people of color + I’m the only one in my cabin who hasn’t been to Europe. Can you believe that? They LOVE that the cabin only has lanterns. I guess if you grow up with a lot of privilege it feels like an adventure to not have a light switch.

  Okay, I filled the pages so that’s it for now. Write back. You’re not supposed to send me anything like candy or chips OR beef jerky (the teriyaki kind). But if you were to put treats in a box + write on the outside: CONTENTS: BOOKS maybe they would get to me anyway. If you were super crafty, you could HOLLOW OUT A BOOK and drop something inside.

  Love you, Daddy.

  Bett

  * * *

  Dear Mom,

  So far things are pretty good here at Far View Tarn. I liked the bus ride up because all the long time Tarnies sat together in the back and right away we started singing some of the songs and a lot of the older kids joined in, which is cool.

  I got Jilly for my counselor, which is not that great. I wish I had Ali H., but she’s with the third-year kids this summer. She’s better than Jilly. All of the girls from last year are back except for Mercer and Sill. I guess Mercer is at some other camp. No one knows about Sill.

  We have two new girls in our cabin. I don’t hang out with either of them. One is from New York and a total baby. She’s afraid of the lake and doesn’t want to canoe. I thought she’d go home but the other new girl is her friend and I guess she doesn’t want to leave her or something. The other girl is from California. I really think that people from California act like they’re cooler than people who aren’t from there. I found out yesterday that BOTH of these girls have gay dads. That just makes no sense to me. Pretty weird, right?

  Anyway, that’s what’s going on. Do you think when I get back I can get a new phone? Everyone here has been talking about stuff their phones can do and I’m just quiet. I’m glad that they can’t see I’m two generations back with what I have.

  Hope everything’s okay at home.

  Love,

  Brielle

  * * *

  Avery—

  I scanned and sent your letter to Kristina, and then I put in a call right away to the camp director, Mrs. Leonard. She said that the situation is under control. Is that true? Your letter took four days to get here, so maybe I was reading old news.

  Mrs. Leonard said you were adjusting to the water activities and were now canoeing with your eyes open. She also said that the safety record at Far View Tarn is impeccable.

  You’ll get through this, sweetheart. And I’m guessing the summer will fly by. I hope you make some good friends. That nice girl in your cabin sounds great. I think you two should stick together.

  I miss you tons, lovebug.

  Love you—

  Papa

  * * *

  My Avery,

  I’m just so sorry. I can’t believe a place that’s supposed to be filled with outdoor fun is forcing a canoe trip. I called that person Mrs. Leonard and she refused to put you on the phone. She said that the problem was solved, and that you were growing every day in new directions (she wouldn’t get specific, so I don’t know what that even means).

  Should I believe her? She sounded confident (and pretty bossy), but that might just be her regular tone. It’s hard to tell without looking at her body language. I called Sam to see if he thought we should take you out of camp. He didn’t want to talk to me about it.

  I feel paralyzed. The only thing I will tell you is that sometimes a person needs to confront her fears directly. Also, it sometimes helps to just open your mouth and release your vocal cords in a loud and long way. This vents anger and frustration. I have done it many, many times. Just ask my downstairs neighbors.

  Avery, I’m thinking of you every second. I’m very thankful that there’s a kind camper in your cabin.

  Love you forever and ever,

  Your Kristina

 
* * *

  Dear Brielle,

  Every day I walk to the mailbox, and every day I find nothing but bills and disappointing catalogs. Then today a letter from you arrived. Finally!

  I’m not complaining. It’s just that you know I wait for your letters because I miss you (and your brother) so much. I heard from Tyler on Monday. Across the lake from you at Camp Stone Point on his second day some boy decided it was a good idea to throw a smoking marshmallow stick up in the air. Tyler was in the wrong place at the wrong time. So now he’s got a blistered ear. It could have been a whole lot worse. I hope it doesn’t show in the end-of-camp pictures.

  I’m assuming you’ll see him when the two camps get together for a dance. Let me know if his ear scabbed up okay. I’m not telling your father. If you write him (you don’t need to), do NOT bring it up. He made his choice when he left us not to know the details of your lives, and he tried to get out of sending you two to camp this summer, and this burned ear could give him more ammunition.

  Sorry that Mercer and Sill didn’t come back. They were good Tarnies. You wrote about the two new girls and said they both have gay dads. I am certainly the last person to care about how other people choose to live. But I’m wondering now about the sorts of kids who are coming to Far View Tarn these days. It used to be so different.

  As for me, I’m trying to organize the guesthouse in the event that we have to sell and move. The lawyer said we’ll fight your father to the end on that. But I don’t want you to worry. This is your time to just have fun.

  Love from

  Your mother

  * * *

  Dear Dad (+ say hi to Javier, too),

  How are you? I’m fine. It’s letter-writing day here. No choice. Like pretty much everything around here. I’ve been very busy with canoeing, hiking + singing. It’s not a theater camp but they take the camp SONG stuff really really seriously.

  I’ve made some cool friends but that one girl in my cabin named Brielle really thinks she’s all that. She’s got a best friend named Charlotte Canaday who does handstands + cartwheels about every 5 minutes. I do handstands + cartwheels but don’t need to show everyone all the time.

  The first day I got here Brielle saw the picture I brought of you + Phillip + I said you were my dads (I didn’t explain about Phillip dying because it’s not her business). Yesterday I was in the bathroom + I heard Brielle say to Charlotte, “Having a gay dad probably damaged her.”

  I flung open the door (I wasn’t even finished going to the bathroom) + I said “WHAT?”

  They were really embarrassed, but then they claimed they were talking about ANOTHER GIRL who was here last year + who has a gay dad. Really?! I could have made a big deal about it, but I decided to let it go.

  I didn’t feel like telling anyone this story. So I’m telling you. But don’t worry. I’ll deal with Brielle in my own way.

  Love you, Dad.

  Bett

  P.S. WHAT DO YOU HEAR ABOUT JUNIE + RAISIN? I’m not going to write that I miss them MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE because that’s not nice to say. How’s Gaga?

  * * *

  Bett—

  Loved getting a letter from you today. But hated the part with the mean girls. I will contact the camp if you want me to do that. Just let me know. I’m there for you. Always. You don’t have to fight all your own battles. That’s what a dad is for.

  I’m working hard on the Brooklyn project. My biggest hurdle is that I don’t have my regular crew. But being here gives me time with Javier. He’s got horrible hours and his performances are at night, so we’re still struggling with the schedule.

  I’ve gone to see Gaga in three more performances. She gets better every time.

  Love you and miss you,

  Your Dad

  P.S. I’m working on the hollowed-out book idea. Expect something soon.

  * * *

  My sweet girls,

  I’m writing you both and making a copy on the printer because I’d be saying a whole lot of the same thing if I did it twice. Plus I heard Avery already did a similar thing.

  I never went to camp. I did go camping. I’d say those were the good old days but I never much cared for sleeping on hard dirt!

  I heard from Kristina that Far View Tarn is big on canoeing. I’m so glad that Bett is there, but don’t worry, I didn’t let on that you two were together. Avery, I know you’re afraid of deep water, but sometimes you’ve got to stick a toe into something icy.

  The big news here in the city is we moved the play into the new theater, which is much bigger and fancier. Kristina’s real happy about that, but I miss the old place. A bunch of the people from our building went to see the show. Kristina got them all tickets & afterward we got pizza. Dinos (the doorman) was with the group & it turns out he goes to the theater and opera all the time! Everyone’s got a surprise, that’s for sure.

  I’ve been busy, but I still manage to see your daddy & Javier. They seem to be getting along in a cozy way, and your daddy says Brooklyn’s where it’s all happening. I don’t know what “it” is, exactly.

  I hope you’re following the rules, Bett. And Avery, I hope you’re breaking a few. Love you two!

  Your Gaga

  * * *

  Dear Papa & Kristina,

  I don’t want you to worry about me. I worry enough about me for all three of us. I guess I’d say that it’s getting better here, and it is. But the lake is always out there staring me in the face.

  I’m trying to speak up about things, and they are now serving tofu in the dining hall every night at the salad bar, so that’s something.

  We have a dance with the boys from Camp Stone Point on Saturday. It’s one more thing to worry about, which might be good because I can’t think about drowning in the lake at the same time as being anxious about standing around in awkward clumps with other Tarnies being bitten by mosquitoes. We never even met these boys but we’re supposed to dance with them? It’s a tradition. Everything here is.

  That’s my report. How’s the city?

  Your daughter,

  Avery Allenberry Bloom

  * * *

  Dear Brielle,

  I got a call from Chessie Leonard, and she said you and your brother got into a fight at the dance. I have to say I just can’t believe you two manage to find a way to go at each other even when you’re up in Maine at different camps where you’re supposed to be having a good time.

  I will not tolerate this. I take it that there was some name-calling. Chessie didn’t go into specifics, but she said that she’s having formal apologies written. Whatever that means.

  Brielle, I can’t handle one more thing. Straighten up and fly right. I completely regret marrying your father. Don’t make me regret having kids.

  Your mother

  * * *

  Hey, Avery,

  It’s Tyler from Stone Point Camp. I hope it’s okay that I’m writing you. I want to explain what happened. We were doing this Truth or Dare thing before we left to go over to Far View Tarn, and I lost. So I had to be the first one to go ask somebody to dance.

  You were standing by yourself but I guess waiting for your friend to come out of the bathroom. I swear I didn’t know who you were or anything about you. Everyone else was standing in little groups (except that one girl who kept doing the handstands).

  When I asked you to dance and you said you didn’t like the song, I thought that was a good answer because the music they were playing must have been from when they first opened the camp. Even the counselors were laughing at how old it was.

  Then I asked that girl with red hair who was tapping her foot to dance, so that I could get the Truth or Dare thing over with. Also, she said she knew how to jitterbug, whatever that is.

  But then later, after someone finally figured out how to change the music, a lot of people were dancing, and when I came over it w
as because at that point I did want to ask you to dance.

  I had no idea you were in my sister’s cabin. When Brielle saw us (I think it was our third dance) and came up and said did I know I was with one of the two girls who had a gay dad, I didn’t have any idea what she was talking about. That’s when all the yelling started.

  I feel bad that you might think I’m an idiot like my sister. I really don’t care if your dad’s gay. My dad lives in Florida now with his new girlfriend, Amber, who used to be a sales rep at our family’s company, Mayhew Grease Collection Services. You probably don’t know this, but all fast-food restaurants need their grease collected and taken away. It’s super important for the environment. Anyway, Amber’s really nice but I would never tell my mom that.

  I guess there’s another dance coming up. I hope I see you there. Also, my friend Nick said that your friend (Bett? The one who got into the fight with my sister?) seemed really cool. Nick was the guy wearing the red hoodie, if your friend wants to know who he was.

  Again, sorry that everything was so embarrassing.

  Sincerely,

  Tyler Mayhew

  * * *

  Hi, Tyler,

  Thanks for writing me. You didn’t have to explain. I don’t really hang out with your sister, even though we’re in the same cabin.

  My friend Bett says that your sister is jealous because our dads are pretty cool and my mom writes plays and Bett’s grandma is acting in an Off-Broadway show. Bett’s dad’s boyfriend is a star of the Ballet Hispánico in New York City. We don’t brag about any of that stuff, but it comes out. Just like we all know that Hannah Minter’s parents own a casino in Matamoras, Pennsylvania (it’s for sale right now). When you live with people, you get to hear the details of their lives.