To Night Owl From Dogfish

by Holly Goldberg Sloan

  I’ll see you at the next dance if I’m still here. It’s possible I’ll be gone before then. There’s a mandatory lake crossing in a canoe, and stuff might come up for me back in the city during that time, which would mean I’d have to leave early.

  Sincerely,

  Avery

  * * *

  Dear Gaga,

  I like almost everyone in my cabin A LOT now, but that girl BRIELLE MAYHEW is a mess. She caused a fight at a dance we had with a boys’ camp because me + Avery have gay dads. At least I think that’s what started it. There was a lot of shoving + then the counselors turned on the lights + started telling us to go to our cabins, and the boys had to get back on the bus.

  How do you think my dad’s doing with Javier? I’m okay if me + Dad end up packing up the church + moving to New York one day. I don’t know what Junie + Raisin would think about snow on the sidewalks, but with you in New York + with Avery living there + Kristina, too, I can see how it would be okay for me. I would miss Angel + Summer + other friends + surfing. I’d miss all kinds of things, I guess.

  One thing I know is that I’m not calling the shots. Maybe I never was. When I was little the slogan for Legoland down by San Diego was “Where Kids Call the Shots.” I remember the first time Dad took me there I thought that I’d walk in + see kids running everything. They weren’t. So the kids weren’t really calling the shots. This was before the media literacy class at CIGI where they told us to look closely at all advertising.

  Love you, Gaga. Thanks for always being there for me (nobody made me write that, but our counselor, Jilly, just said, “Finish strong, girls!” (She runs track in college.)

  xo

  Bett(y) 2

  * * *

  Dear Papa & Kristina,

  It’s very up and down for me here. Good days and bad days. We had a second dance, and it was a lot better because nobody got in a fight. Plus we at least now know those boys. Or maybe we don’t know them, but we’ve seen them before.

  I’m obviously still worrying about the canoe trip. But they schedule a lot of things that aren’t water activities. And they have us singing when we are on the move, so that takes up about five hours a day.

  Sorry this letter isn’t longer. Nobody checks anymore for length. They just collect the envelopes. I could send an empty one, but I wouldn’t do that.

  Love you and miss you.

  Avery

  * * *

  Dear Angel—

  I’m writing this from a hammock at Far View Tarn. I’m supposed to be telling you how cool it is here + also try to see if you want to come here next year. Okay. Did that. I’m having a good time. At first it wasn’t that great, but now I’ve figured out the horse I really like (named Tri-Tip) + we play volleyball + also I like archery, soccer on the field + the rope-climbing stuff. Another thing that’s pretty fun are these scavenger hunts. We divide into teams + we run around trying to find stuff. It can get intense. Also the food’s really good + we sometimes make our own ice cream. It’s really not that hard to do, but we have to turn a handle on this tub like we’re in the olden times. I know there are automatic ice cream makers in the world where you just press a button, but electricity is a dirty word around here. I’ve got a bunch of new friends + they come from all over the place, but mostly from New York or Boston. Avery’s doing okay. I came here because of her + we’ve had some fun, but she hates the lake + for some reason she gets more mosquito bites than anyone else in the world. She also has trouble going to sleep + she wakes up all the time in the middle of the night + I just can’t be the person to talk to her at 3:00 a.m. I don’t want to talk to ANYONE at 3:00 a.m. Anyway, I miss you. I’ll be home in a few weeks. I’ll tell you everything then. I’ll bring you a souvenir but it might just be a pinecone (very large).

  Love,

  Bett

  * * *

  Papa and Kristina—

  I’m still spending a lot of my time with the girl from out west, but not as much as before because we don’t do the same activities for a lot of the day. That’s okay. I have permission to be alone sometimes in the mornings so I go back to the cabin and organize my stuff and try the meditation exercises that the nurse gave me. Jilly is okay with that as long as I stay on my bunk and don’t wander off into the woods or go into the lake. I would never do either of those things and I think she knows that now.

  I’m not going to say I’m counting the hours until summer is over because that’s only part of every day. I have found some amazing flowers here that grow wild and are mostly very, very small and I’ve been pressing them in the books I brought. Most of the other campers never even see these tiny flowers. They don’t even know that they’re there.

  Love you,

  Avery

  * * *

  Gaga—

  There was a second dance last week with the boys from that camp that’s close by. I’m not going to say I have a boyfriend, because I DON’T. But I did dance a lot with one kid from Greenwich, Connecticut, named Nick, who smells like toast. In a good way.

  Avery danced the WHOLE TIME with this kid Tyler who has a complicated background (maybe I told you he’s the brother of Brielle).

  I’m glad, because Tyler has given Avery something to talk about besides DROWNING. She’s sort of driving me crazy about that. I think Tyler’s relatives came over on the Mayflower (not the moving company. THE BOAT. Not kidding).

  Love you, Gaga!

  xxoo

  Bett

  * * *

  Dear Dogfish,

  It’s late and everyone in the cabin is asleep, including you. I’ve got my emergency flashlight on.

  It was a mistake to pick this place. The spreadsheets didn’t tell the full story. I’d say lesson learned, but I really don’t know that I’ll get out of here alive. I’m still so scared whenever we’re in the canoe. It’s a true fear vs. some of my irrational ones, like being killed by a falling air-conditioning unit, though actually that happens more than you think.

  But I might be awake right now because of something else.

  I know I talk too much about the lake, and I feel like it’s getting on your nerves. Are you mad at me, Bett? We don’t always have to sit together, and everyone gets sick of each other at some point, so I’m thinking maybe that’s why you left dinner early with Markie. Are you trying to get away from me? Do you want to do your own thing? It’s okay if you do. I understand, I think.

  I’m going to place this letter under your pillow (and hopefully not wake you up) and you can read it tomorrow.

  xxx

  Night Owl

  * * *

  Avery,

  I got up to go to the bathroom + you’re asleep now. But I just read your letter. I wasn’t going to say anything, but you asked, so here’s my answer. No, I’m not mad at you, only I really do wish you could GET OVER your stuff with canoeing. I also wish you’d stop asking so many questions about what’s in the food (if they say there’s no meat in it then just accept there’s no meat) + also stop being kind of emotional about bug bites, night noises + bacteria on food.

  We both have made other friends here this summer + we don’t have to always be like partners in a three-legged race. By the way, I’d like to do that with Markie tomorrow. No offense, but I feel like she + I would win.

  Maybe it’s true that I’m trying to do things my own way sometimes. I mean, what do we really have in common? Once we had our dads, but that’s over. I know you like Gaga, but she’s MY GRANDMOTHER, not yours. I don’t want to sound rude, but Avery I can’t be there all the time to protect you from the world. It’s sort of a full-time job.

  I like when our cabin goes down to the lake to swim at night + I don’t want to always stay back with you. I like riding the horses through the trees + not just on the path. I want to do a lot of the things you don’t want to do.

  I’m sorry. Avery, I really
want to be friends, but I feel like you’ll read this + take it all the wrong way. Only I still have to tell you the truth, because you asked.

  Bett

  * * *

  B—

  I put this in your cubby under your toothbrush because I want you to see it right away when you wake up.

  I got up early and I asked Jilly to move me out of your canoe for the crossing. She said that was okay. You’re going to be with Markie now.

  You’re right. We don’t have that much in common. It’s a good thing it didn’t work out for our dads. It didn’t work out for us, either, and probably for a lot of the same reasons. You and your dad are both reckless. And you don’t realize it can hurt other people.

  I’m going into town this morning with Mrs. Leonard. I guess they’re taking a girl from Poplar Cabin to see the doctor. She has an infected spider bite. I asked if I could go along to be supportive (only also because I want to see if they drain the lesion or give her a shot of antibiotics or both).

  But don’t worry, I won’t bother you anymore.

  Tomorrow we do the canoe trip and a week later we’ll be gone from here.

  AAB

  * * *

  Dear Kristina and Papa,

  This is the last time I’ll write you guys before the Big Dreaded Canoe Trip. It’s tomorrow morning. We leave at 6:00 a.m.

  I’m afraid. I know you’ve both said that fear gets a person nowhere, but that really hasn’t been helpful advice. Sorry.

  The counselors say this trip is a bonding experience. How much more do we need to bond? We already eat, sleep, and do everything together. We’ve been here all summer.

  At this point, I’m ready to unbond from these people, and I’m trying, believe me.

  Anyway, you guys are right, it will be a blast.

  Or not.

  Okay, wish me luck.

  Avery

  * * *

  From: Jilly Holland

  To: Chessie Leonard

  Subject: What happened today on the lake

  You said I need to write you and say exactly what happened, and that you want me to just state the facts. I’m really upset right now, but I’m going to try.

  I’m twenty years old and a senior counselor at Far View Tarn Camp in Maine. And though this is only my third year working here, I was a Tarnie myself for nine years, so I know everything at this camp really well. I have twelve campers in my group, which is Pinecone House.

  Yesterday was the first day of the Tarn end-of-camp canoe trip, where we paddle across the lake, spend the night, and paddle home the next day.

  The Tarn is eleven miles across and most of the canoes go about three miles an hour. It takes just under four hours to cross. The girls have been in training for this most of the summer, and all twelve of my girls were in good enough shape to do the crossing.

  I have only one girl out of the twelve, Avery Bloom, who was nervous about making the trip.

  Avery Bloom was in a canoe with Charlotte Canaday. Charlotte is my strongest oarer (she’s a gymnast).

  Brielle Mayhew was with Piper Tilley. And Bett Devlin was with Markie Bishop.

  The rest of the girls had good matches (but that’s not important to what happened).

  Each canoe held the two campers, as well as our water kit, which has a signaling whistle, an emergency float throw line, and sponges. My canoe holds a larger first-aid kit. The girls take two water bottles apiece, plus four different healthy snacks.

  The campers know that we follow the pace of the slowest canoe. We do not let one canoe get out ahead, and all canoes must remain within shouting distance. On the other side of the lake there are cabins outfitted for the night, so we didn’t need to bring those supplies for the sleepover.

  We made it across yesterday right on schedule. And we also spent the night without any problems. (Piper Tilley woke up at 3:00 a.m. and vomited—too many deviled eggs—but that didn’t affect anything.)

  Today we started back at 8:00 a.m. I was in a canoe with junior counselor Sasha Pape. Our plan was to take three rest breaks. The bad thing happened during the last rest break, when we weren’t far from shore.

  I’m sorry, but I feel sick writing this, and I’m going to have to finish it later.

  Is there any update about the girls? I wanted to go in the ambulance but they wouldn’t let me.

  I’m so sorry, Mrs. Leonard. I don’t know what else to say. I’m just so sorry.

  * * *

  From: Sunny Mayhew

  To: James Mayhew

  Subject: There was an accident today at Far View Tarn

  Jim—

  Brielle is okay, but she’s in the hospital up in Maine. So are two other girls. I’m driving up there right now. You could get a plane from Newark. I’ll be on my cell, so call me. I just left you a message. It’s ridiculous that we haven’t been talking. That’s over, Jim. Call me.

  Sunny

  * * *

  From: Sasha Pape

  To: Mrs. Chessie Leonard

  Subject: Accident today

  I want to say right up front that we didn’t know a lot about what happened because four of the seven canoes were at a distance from the ones where the accident took place. All of the canoes were taking a ten-minute rest break. But our four canoes were singing (a round in three-part harmony) at a distance. (The wind had come up and we were drifting and it was blowing us west.) Because of the singing and also because we weren’t close, we didn’t know there was a problem until the emergency whistle started blowing and by then the girls were already in the water.

  So this is what Jilly and I were both told (not what we saw). Markie Bishop was in the front of her canoe with Bett Devlin in the rear. The girls were horsing around (we were almost finished with the eleven-mile crossing). Markie, holding her paddle, tried to stand up in her canoe. (She does have great balance, but standing up is absolutely not allowed.) Markie lost her balance and started to fall. When this happened she let go of her paddle. It then struck Bett Devlin on the temple and she fell over, with her head hitting the metal edge of the right side of the canoe.

  The other girls saw Bett’s hand go up and there was blood but then a second later she slumped over (I guess knocked out) and she fell right into the water.

  But Bett wasn’t wearing her life jacket. She had taken it off a few minutes earlier because it was so hot out, even though this is against the rules. (Obviously Jilly and I didn’t see her take it off.) Charlotte Canaday and Markie Bishop had also taken off their life jackets. We didn’t see that, either.

  Bett Devlin was now facedown in the water. The next thing to happen was that Avery Bloom dove out of her canoe, which then tipped over, sending Charlotte into the water. (Charlotte had no life jacket on, but she’s a strong swimmer.)

  Avery (wearing her life jacket) swam to Bett and was able to flip her over. I guess there was blood in the water. Piper Tilley (in her canoe with Brielle Mayhew) then fainted. (She was the one who had vomited the night before.)

  Avery took off her life jacket and positioned it under Bett to keep her head up. But that was a real struggle and Avery (not a great swimmer) started to swallow water. She now didn’t have on a flotation device and she then went under. It’s possible at this point she had a panic attack because Charlotte said it was like Avery suddenly couldn’t breathe.

  Brielle then dove in and swam to Avery.

  This is when we heard the emergency whistle. Charlotte (still in the water) reached over Piper and got the emergency kit.

  Once we got over there and realized what was going on, Jilly took her cell phone and called 911.

  I think you heard the rest.

  * * *

  From: Marlow Devlin

  To: Sam Bloom

  Subject: The HOSPITAL is at 1800 Emerald Bay Road

  AVERY WILL BE OKAY, Sam. That’s t
he most important thing for you to know. She was breathing on her own when they got her back in the canoe. I tried to call and text you again, but it didn’t go through. I think you’re still in the air. I was lucky to get that first flight. I CANNOT believe the girls were together at camp this whole time. How did we not KNOW that? I flew to Portland and drove a rental car here, going about a hundred miles an hour, but somehow I didn’t get pulled over. I think your voice mail said you were flying into Bangor. I’m in Bett’s room right now. She’s sedated because of the head injury. They’ve got a neurologist in here.

  I need Bett to be okay. She’s my kid, my girl.

  Sam, she’s my whole life.

  * * *

  Voice mail: From Kristina Allenberry

  Avery, you are the bravest person I’ve ever known. I’ve been scared of many things in my life. Failure. Success. Being responsible for a baby. You jumped into the water and instantly overcame fear to save a life.

  Your dad and I feel like such fools. We didn’t know you and Bett were both at camp together. But thank goodness you were.

  At the theater we all just joined hands and closed our eyes, and though I’m not a religious person in the traditional sense, Gaga led us in a prayer for you and Bett. We said aloud: Dear God, or Dear Whoever, be there for these girls. Please, be there.