The Life of a Celebrated Buccaneer

by Richard Clynton

  CHAPTER XXV.

  Away our two friends journeyed until they came to a high eminence whichcommanded a good view of all the country round. At their feet was spreadthe garden of Abdur, and in the distance was to be seen the El Dorado ofthe East. The fair lands of the Buccaneer's Indian Princess. How lovelyit all looked; the hot sun streaming down on plains covered with jungleand the tall cocoanut trees with their long stems and bushy heads; andthe shady plaintain with its long, broad leaves. Then rivers woundthrough the plain like huge silver serpents making their endless way tothe sea.

  As may be easily imagined, the Buccaneer who was not accustomed to suchlengthy and arduous journeys, was completely done up, for the ascent hadbeen steep and difficult; often had he stopped to admire the scenery, anexcuse generally made by the weary, who are too proud to admit that theyare in the smallest degree overcome. Rivulets of perspiration wererunning down the old gentleman's face, and it took him some time to mophimself and gain his breath. Dogvane, as the saying is, had not turned ahair. Whether this was on account of the paucity of that article, or thegeneral leanness of his condition, it is not necessary to say.

  The Buccaneer sat and contemplated in silence the beauty of the scenebefore him, while the captain of his watch looked through the leftcorner of his eye towards Abdur's home. Presently a shout in thatdirection made the Buccaneer start from his happy reverie, and turningto his left there he saw the Eastern Bandit, apparently enjoying himselfin Abdur's garden, and not keeping to the pathways either, but tramplingborders and beds under foot. "Hallo! Master Dogvane," exclaimed theBuccaneer, "sure enough there he is at his handiwork, just as we weretold."

  "Be not too hasty, master," Dogvane replied. "Things are not always asthey seem; so somebody has said, and I believe him. We are absolutelywithout any official information on the subject, while, on the contrary,I have the august Bandit's word for it, that he wants nothing out ofAbdur's garden, and I believe him, for the fruit is of a prickly kind,and not at all enticing. In fact, more fit for asses than for humanbeings."

  "Facts are stubborn things, Master Dogvane, and seeing surely isbelieving."

  "Not always, sir; for how many people are deceived by their eyes? oneswearing he saw one thing, another swearing the very reverse. Things aredeceptive, more especially when seen through glasses dimmed byprejudice." Dogvane said nothing about the dimness of the official eye,which is well known to be as nearly blind as possible, without beingabsolutely so. He put his glass up and took a survey, taking good carethat that part of Abdur's garden where the Bandit was should not comewithin his range. "For my part," he said, "I do not think the EasternBandit is in Abdur's garden. You may depend upon it, sir, he is merelygoing through the time honoured custom of beating the bounds."

  "Then you go down, Master Dogvane, and see that the boundaries arefairly marked."

  "It has ever been the custom to take some small boy, and by bumping himor whipping him upon the breech at certain places, to engraft theboundaries indelibly upon his memory. I am too old a man for this. It isa thousand pities that we have not young Random Jack with us. He is forever wishing to render you some signal service, as much to make a namefor himself as to do good to you. Now, this would be an excellentopportunity for him to show his zeal, and I regret extremely that thelad is not here. It would be well worth while to send for him."

  Dogvane's meditations were put a stop to by the Buccaneer exclaiming, ashe brought down his telescope and shut up the slides with a bang: "As Ihope to be saved, Master Dogvane, the Bandit is in our friend Abdur'sgarden!" Here he opened his spy-glass again and took another look. "Andwhat is more," he added, "the rascal seems inclined to lay his handsupon what does not belong to him."

  Fat as the Buccaneer had grown, and lazy as his prosperity and goodliving had made him, he did at times rouse himself, and when he did hefrequently flew into the most violent fits of passion, and made use ofthe most terrible language, and altogether forgetting that he was aChristian he would swear like any Turk, or the proverbial trooper. Ourfriend was now seized with a warlike epidemic, which, as a rule, is veryinfectious. He was for fighting his old enemy at once, for he felt fullypersuaded that he must be in the wrong. Dogvane, the man of peace, triedto calm his master down, and begged him to take things quietly; sayingthat it was time enough to draw the sword when diplomacy failed.

  The Buccaneer when he heard that word, ripped out several oaths of sucha nature, as to make Dogvane's hair stand on end. This annoyed theBuccaneer still more, and he requested Dogvane, in tones not to bedisobeyed, not to do it. The captain apologized, and declared it was the"wind, and nothing more;" showing that his mind was far away. TheBuccaneer, however, quickly brought him back to his senses, bycommanding him to ask the Eastern Bandit, in the politest mannerpossible, what the devil he meant, by trespassing upon other people'sproperty. Of course, things had to be done in a proper way, and strictlyaccording to custom. Dogvane knew very well that it was quite useless toask the Eastern Bandit for any information, because, whatever hisintentions might be, it was not at all likely that he would disclosethem. To do so, would be to act in a manner altogether undiplomatic. Butobedient to his master's commands, the captain of the watch went to asmall rivulet that sprang out of the mountain side close by. This tinystream after bounding from rock to rock of its mountain bed, fell downinto the plain below, and then widening and growing deeper and deeper,rolled lazily through Abdur's garden, refreshing its parched soil withits grateful waters.

  Dogvane put his hand to the side of his mouth and sent down on the bosomof the rivulet a request couched in the most polite language to knowwhat the great Bandit of the East was about. Back came a voice from theplains below, saying, "The august Bandit of the East, the master of manymillions of slaves, requests the Buccaneer of the West to mind his ownbusiness."

  "Tells me to mind my own business, does he? And call you that adiplomatic answer, Master Dogvane?"

  "Most assuredly," replied the captain. "It would have been quite as easyfor him to have told you to go to the devil. How can you find fault withhim, or anyone else, for telling you to mind your own business. It iswhat every right-minded and honest man ought to do."

  "But it is what every right-minded and honest man does not like to betold to do. This business is mine, Master Dogvane. Do you not see thathe is putting his huge foot forward?"

  "My eyesight in such things is somewhat dim; but be not hasty. In timespast, sir, your rashness has led you into sad trouble. For all we knowthe Eastern Bandit does but stretch his leg, preparatory to making abackward movement. For my part, I think this must be so. I go so far asto say that it is so; for I have entered into an agreement with him; orit may be an arrangement, or even a sacred covenant."

  "The devil take your covenant!" cried the Buccaneer, "I am going to seeinto this little matter myself," and away the old gentleman started off,with a speed that endangered his neck. Dogvane needs must follow; but hewas not so good going down as up a hill on occasions like this. "Steady,my master! Steady!" he cried. "The more haste, the less speed. Godforbid that we should not uphold the sacred ties of friendship; but,sir, I beg you; I beseech you, not to be rash. Remember, those whoquarrels interpose, often wipe a bloody nose. Let us try the gentleforce of reason first, then if that fails--"

  "What then, Master Dogvane?" said the Buccaneer, stopping and turninground to confront his captain.

  "Time, sir, and the course of events alone can tell. In a good cause,in a righteous cause, old Will Dogvane will be found ever ready to drawthe sword."

  "Damme! Dogvane, there's life in the old dog yet."

  "Sir, swear not; it makes my blood curdle in my veins."

  "Dogvane! Dogvane!" cried the Buccaneer, "As I live he is beatingAbdur's children!"

  "And why not, sir? why not? no doubt, they richly deserve it. Have younot taken the liberty of doing the self same thing yourself?"

  They were now very much closer, and Dogvane put up his glass to hisofficial eye, and declared he saw nothing out of t
he way going on. Thisso irritated the Buccaneer, that he performed something in the nature ofa miracle, and he made Dogvane receive his sight. He owned that he didsee something in the nature of a beating taking place. Then he said byway of excuse: "You can not expect, sir, to have a monopoly of beatingother people's children. But at any rate," he continued, "the time hascome for us to show the Eastern Bandit that we are not to be trifledwith. We are now near enough for him to see. The man who will not standup for a friend in need, deserves to be branded with the name ofcoward."

  "Bravo, Dogvane!" exclaimed the Buccaneer, "I don't care for sentiment,as a rule; for it generally cloaks some infernal rascality; but dammethat's a good sentiment, and one to my liking."

  Dogvane felt an honest pride in having thus pleased his master. He feltalso encouraged, so taking off his coat and turning up his shirt sleeveshe said, "When the Eastern Bandit sees the sinews of my goodly arms, hewill, no doubt, become frightened, and pause ere he provokes me toanger; but, master, you will stand by me?"

  "Through thick and thin, Dogvane!"

  "It will be a costly affair, for I needs must make giganticpreparations. I shall have to go into training."

  "Name but your sum, Dogvane, and it is yours," cried the fighting oldBuccaneer in an ecstasy of delight.

  "It cannot be done comfortably, sir, under L11,000,000," replied thecaptain.

  "It is yours, Dogvane! It is yours, I am rich, and I am generous."

  "Has the taking off of my coat in any way frightened him, my master?Your eyesight is better than mine."

  "Not a bit, Dogvane. The beggar is dancing about just as if the wholeplace belonged to him. Go in, old man, and win. Nail your colours to themast," the old sea king could not forget his early days, with its quaintlanguage. "And may God defend the right!" he piously exclaimed as hetook off his hat and raised his eyes devoutly to heaven. Of course therecould be little doubt in the Buccaneer's own mind as to who was in theright. As has already been stated he fully believed that God was alwayson his side, and if he did come off second best, it was the Devil whofor some good reason was allowed, for the time being, to prevail againsthim. This is a pardonable vanity and is shared by many other pious anddevout people. With Dogvane it was different. He was blessed, or cursedaccording to the way it is looked at, with a most tender conscience, andthough he never allowed it for any length of time to stand in his way,it caused him so to act, that people condemned him as a splitter ofstraws and a weigher of scruples. While he was thus occupied hegenerally allowed the golden opportunity to pass by and thus hefrequently brought his wares to the market a day or so after the fair.And many a time the words "too late" were hung out over the gate hewished to enter at.

  Scarcely had the Buccaneer finished the above pious ejaculation thanDogvane's stout right arm fell listlessly to his side. He drooped hishead as he repeated, in a low tone of voice, the words of his master:"And may God defend the right! That sends a cold thrill through everyvein in my body. Suppose," he said, addressing his master. "Suppose; Isay suppose, my master, we are in the wrong, what a weight ofblood-guiltiness will rest upon our heads? Suppose we are in the wrong,and being in the wrong we spill the blood of a fellow-creature? Goodmaster, I have a qualm of conscience."

  "Oh! damn your conscience!" cried the Buccaneer, whose blood was up. Ofcourse such language is reprehensible in the extreme; no matter who usesit; but it is doubly so when it falls from the lips of a pious Christiangentleman. But, good people all, what is bred in the bone, will come outin the flesh. Dogvane recoiled from such language.

  "Damn not my conscience, sir, nor that of any other man," he said, forhis religion was unlike many a modern lady's beauty, it was even morethan skin deep.

  "Conscience," continued Dogvane, "is the guiding star by which we steerthese frail barks of ours through life. Too many of us do not,consequently we find ourselves lost amidst shoals and quicksands. In ajust cause, in a righteous cause I will fight."

  "What!" cried the Buccaneer in amazement, "are you going to put yourcoat on again?"

  "This, sir, is a matter that must receive our gravest consideration.Before we fight we must thoroughly sift the matter in the inmostrecesses of the mind, until we are fully convinced of the sacredness ofour cause. The man--"

  "Stay, Master Dogvane! Not another word in that direction as you valuethe wholeness of your skin. Give me anything you like; but damme, don'ttry my temper with another sentiment."

  "What I was going to say, most noble master, is this. If we have in anyway offended the Bandit of the East, we must make what reparation we canby craving his pardon."

  "What!" cried the Buccaneer, "are you going to humble me before all theworld?"

  "Nay, sir; call it not by such a name. It is a noble thing, and the actof a great and generous mind to own freely that it is in the wrong. I donot humble you. I exalt you and place you upon a high pinnacle ofperfection. It requires more courage to own oneself in the wrong than itdoes to take up the sword. It stands to reason, sir, that we both cannotbe in the right; this being conceded why should not the wrong be on ourside, nay, what more likely than that it is? Let us then sheathe thebloody brutalizing sword until the merits of the case are fully shown."

  "And are all your mighty words to go for nothing, Master Dogvane? Howabout my honour? How about my honour?" said the Buccaneer sorrowfully.

  "Honour, sir!" replied Dogvane. "Honour! what is honour that you shouldshed human blood over it? It is but a breath that comes from the mouthsof other people, and the same mouth is as ready to damn as bless. Thishonour, what is it? It is here to-day, it is gone to-morrow, and ishunted often to death by envy, hatred, and malice, until in the end itis handed over to the tender mercies of its adversary shame. This selfsame honour that is so much lauded, is a picker of quarrels, a shedderof blood, a vain boaster, and a veritable swashbuckler. This honour isthe veriest bubble that man ever fought for, or prated about, and it hasdone more mischief in the world than any other of man's vain causes ofstrife; because no principle has been so plentifully abused, except,perhaps, the principle of religion. For this self same honour, or itsshadow, you have sacrificed countless thousands of your own sons, andslaughtered countless thousands of other people's. For the sake of thishonour you have burdened yourself with a debt that you will carry withyou to your grave and it will bend your back, more and more each day youlive. God grant that in the end it does not crush you beneath itsweight. We will place this matter in the hands of others who willarbitrate between you and the Eastern Bandit, who, I cannot but think,is grossly maligned. This, good master, will be a more humane, a morecivilised, and a more Christian method of settling your dispute."

  During this harangue of Dogvane's the spirits of the Buccaneer kept onfalling and falling until despair sat heavily at his heart. There wassomething quite pathetic in his bearing as he said: "Master Dogvane, Ido not wish to be better than my neighbours. They are all Christians,and yet they all fight. Madame France is armed to the teeth. My Germancousin sleeps in armour always, with one eye open. Then, why should Ihang up my sword, pistols and buckler and resent neither rebuke,insult, nor injury? In such a matter as this, is it wise to trust to athird party?"

  "Master, what does your religion teach you? Be you the pioneer of abetter state of things. God knows we have had fighting enough."

  "I wish my old coxswain were here," said the Buccaneer. "This is anoccasion when his advice would come in well." Perhaps, had he beenpresent he might have told his master that he had better turn monk atonce and start a monastery if he intended to follow the advice of thecaptain of the watch. Why, you ask, did not this fighting, hardswearing, and hard drinking old sea king whip out his hanger and go inat the Bandit himself?

  Good people all, it must be remembered, that he now conducted hisbusiness on purely constitutional principles, and he would have violatedsome one or many of these had he so acted. So wedded was he to hisconstitution that it is probable he would have preferred to be utterlyruined by sticking to it, than saved by going in
any way against it. Hewas a great stickler for routine, red tape, and custom. They, for thetime, left the Eastern Bandit in the full enjoyment of his actions.Dogvane broke the silence. "Sir," he said, "I have in my mind's eye aworthy potentate who may, for a small consideration, be induced to serveyou in this dispute you have with the Eastern Bandit. KingHokeepokeewonkeefum--"

  "What!" exclaimed the Buccaneer, in surprise.

  "Does the length of the name astonish you, sir? We have near neighbourswhose names, were they all joined together, far exceed the one justmentioned. All great and illustrious people have long names; but theyare all capable of contraction. King Hokee, sir, as we will for brevitycall him."

  "What!" exclaimed the Buccaneer again, almost breathless with amazement."Entrust my affairs to a black?" There was an adjective used, but forvarious reasons it has not been recorded.

  "Surely, sir," replied Dogvane, "you are above the prejudice of colour.Though black, King Hokee has no doubt a mind particularly free fromprejudice. Is he not a man and a brother? Besides, sir, to borrowsomewhat from perhaps a greater William than myself: Hath not King Hokeeeyes? Hath he not hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections,passions? If he has not I have no official information on the subject.Is he not fed by the same food, hurt by the same weapons, subject to thesame diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the samewinter and summer as we are? If you prick King Hokee, think you he willnot bleed? If you tickle him, will he not laugh? If you poison him, willhe not die?"

  "Cease, Master Dogvane; no more of this. You have stabbed me, and verilyI bleed. To think that the old sea king should be brought so low as toask a favour from a damned black!"

  For certain weighty reasons the adjective here is not omitted.

  "Have I then no friend, Master Dogvane; no great neighbour to whom I canentrust this affair?"

  "It is one of the penalties attached to greatness, sir, to be withoutfriends. The great stand upon an eminence and look down upon a gapingcrowd of admirers, flatterers, and detractors; but they have no friends,at least not worth the mentioning. Besides, King Hokee would do thething cheaper. A tin star with an appropriate appellation would satisfyhim, and you could make him pay handsomely for the star."

  "Am I then placed so high up on this bleak and sterile peak? I have donea great deal for Egypt; surely she will show me some little kindness? Toshow that my prejudice for colour is not great I will place the matterin her hands."

  "People served, sir, have but short memories," was Dogvane's reply.

  "We will at any rate break our journey back there, Master Dogvane, andwe can mention the subject to the gipsy queen."

  The captain did not seem to relish this, for he said in a disparagingmanner: "Yes, you have done a good deal for the gipsy; but the man whodoes not wish to be disappointed will expect gratitude from no one,least of all from a woman. In Egypt, sir, our game has been, I own, asubtle one; but, like the villain in the play, we have been obliged,and still must dissemble, so as not to excite the jealousy of ourneighbours."

  Dogvane loved dissembling. "Sir," he added, as he shut one eye and putthe forefinger of his right hand to the side of his nose in a mostknowing manner, "we have not thought it wise to let the gipsy woman intoour little secret. We have set up in Egypt a dummy whom we call a ruler.Behind his back we pull the strings of administration. When all goeswell we come in front and make our bow to the audience, and receive ourwell merited applause. When anything goes wrong, we beat our dummy; hedoes not mind, and it would be all the same if he did; our neighboursare satisfied, and their suspicions are allayed."

  "Is this honourable, Dogvane?"

  "Sir, it is most diplomatic, consequently, it cannot be less thanhonourable."

  The Buccaneer thought for awhile and then said: "It would have beenbetter for me, Master Dogvane, to have seized the country at once. Therewould have been a cackling in some of my neighbours' poultry yards, butit would have saved an infinity of trouble in the end."

  Dogvane was horrified at such a suggestion. This was a falling off and agoing back with a vengeance. "Such a wholesale act of robbery," he said,"would perhaps have been pardonable in your old Buccaneering days, whenyou laid your hands on what you could, and did all you could to keep it;but in this, your age of extreme respectability, it would never do. Why!you would have had all your neighbours buzzing about your ears like aswarm of angry wasps. The act would have been most undiplomatic."

  Here apparently some unpleasant thoughts entered the Buccaneer's mind,for a cloud passed over his face. "Diplomacy," he said; "that has neverbeen a very strong point with me. I like to be open and above board, atleast, at one time I did, and I loved to call a spade a spade. Thisdiplomacy, Master Dogvane, is a genteel kind of a highwayman, who is notabove insinuating his hands into the pockets of the unwary, while hedistracts the attention of his victim by expressing towards him thehighest esteem and regard. I would quite as soon he showed himself inhis true colours and cried out boldly: 'Stand and deliver.'"