Tutor Me

by Hope Stillwater

  I thought about it for a moment. “No, it feels kind of comforting, as if my problems are really not worth getting that worked up about.”

  “That’s how I feel too. Let the petty bullshit wash off us. But then I also think, in a universe this big, if I’m no more than an ant, if my life is so unimportant, I should just go after what I want because, why not? Not much is riding on it for anyone or anything but myself.”

  “Are you talking about music?”

  “Among other things.” My pulse quickened, and I glanced at him, but he kept his eyes on the stars, and so I returned my gaze skyward.

  “Look, there’s a satellite over there.”

  I followed where he was pointing and saw it too: it looked like a star, but it was moving steadily across the night sky.

  “Would you ever want to go up there, in space?” he asked.

  “No. It scares the crap out of me. I feel adventurous about going anywhere on our planet, but space seems so lonely to me. And I don’t want to meet any aliens!”

  He turned toward me so that his side rested on the car and I turned to face him. In a split second the mood shifted from philosophical to sexually charged. I felt myself get wet knowing what was to come.

  “Will you sit on the hood of the car?” Callum put his hand on it. “It’s warm, but not too hot.”

  “Sure.” I was trying to sound casual.

  “I’ll get a blanket to put on there.” He went around to the back of the car, and opened the trunk. He returned a moment later with a dark woolen blanket which he placed, folded up, on the hood. He moved to stand in front of me.

  “Can I lift you up there?” He was gentle, tentative. I nodded, not trusting my voice at that moment. He put his hands on my waist and it took all my willpower not to throw my arms around his neck. He lifted me up and set me down carefully on the square of blanket on the hood, so that my feet were dangling over the grill, my flip flops falling off my feet. He let go of my waist but stayed leaning against the grill facing me, so that if I chose I could wrap my legs around him with minimal effort. When that thought popped into my head, I could feel myself get even wetter. Oh dear, this was going to be embarrassing. So much for acting clinical. I set my hands in my lap, waiting. Callum’s eyes were locked on mine, and in the moonlight they looked like dark pits.

  “You’re not trying to re-enact the Whitesnake video, are you?” I asked suspiciously.

  Callum laughed loud. “That video is smoking, but no, I didn’t think of that.” Then he became serious again. When he spoke his voice was soft and soothing. “Will you open your legs for me Jenny?” I swallowed and eased them open.

  “Can I do this?” he asked as he put his hands on my legs, his thumbs rubbing soft circles on the skin of my inner thighs.

  “Yes,” I said gravely.

  He massaged my thighs with a firm warm touch, rubbing up and down, and when his hands moved upward to just inches from my panties, I tried not to groan. He seemed in no hurry but I was desperate for his touch. Everywhere his fingers went sent sparks to my core, which was now throbbing. Before I could stop myself I had spread my legs a little wider.

  Callum’s eyebrow shot up. “Do you like what I’m doing?”

  “I do,” I said, unable to smile. His hands were still on my thighs and I yearned for him to go higher. He kept running his fingers along my thighs.

  “It’s OK if you want to go higher, you know,” I said, my voice strained.

  He smirked. “Do you want me to, Jenny?”

  “You won the bet, so it’s up to you.”

  He persisted, “But you need to tell me you want me to, Jenny.” It was a command.

  I couldn’t meet his eyes as I gave in and said quietly, “I want you to go higher, Callum.”

  I leaned back, my hands bracing me against the hood. His fingers slipped up far under my skirt, finding my panties. I was biting my lower lip hard to stay calm. I knew he would discover how wet I was, but I was beyond caring. When he ran his fingers between my legs, feeling the sopping fabric, he let out a gasp. I felt my face flush but I risked a peek at him. He looked at me with wonder, not teasing.

  “Can I take off your panties?”

  I nodded and he quickly tugged on them and pulled them off as I raised my butt to help him. He slid them over my feet, my sandals having already fallen off, and placed them in the back pocket of his jeans. Goodness even that move was sexy.

  Callum took my ankles and placed them so that my feet were now on the bumper and my knees were bent. With his hands on my knees, he gently coaxed me to spread them wide as he leaned his body between them. He grasped the hem of my skirt and folded it up. Leaning back on my hands I felt exposed and vulnerable but more turned on than I’d ever been in my life. How did I end up on the hood of a car, my legs spread wide, for a boy who was fully dressed? I honestly didn’t care at that moment, just wanting him to touch me.

  Callum’s right hand then went back between my legs, and he was rubbing me gently but firmly with his finger pads. His left hand gripped my knee. My whole being was centered between my legs, and I could think of nothing but his fingers. I was panting now, and writhing slightly as his steady rubbing got me more and more aroused. I lay back further so that my elbows were supporting me. Did he realize that I was about to have an orgasm? I needed to warn him if he didn’t want that.

  “You should stop now.”

  He looked skeptical. “Why is that?”

  “Because I’m going to”- I could barely speak.

  “I know baby. I’ve got you. I want you to come for me.” He spoke with quiet confidence. He was leaning in close, his eyes glued to my face. His words and hot eyes sent me over the edge and I felt myself exploding into a million pieces as I bucked under his hand on that car hood, the woolen blanket rubbing my ass, throwing my head back and crying out in the desert night.

  Callum kept stroking me until all the aftershocks were gone. Then he removed his hand and pulled my skirt down carefully. I sat up fully, trying to catch my breath. I felt like jelly. That had been so amazing and I didn’t want to meet his eyes just yet, feeling extremely vulnerable.

  My gaze landed on his jeans, specifically, the massive bulge in them. And just like that, my shame was gone, replaced with something like pride.

  “That looks painful.” I couldn’t help the teasing note in my voice.

  He didn’t seem to mind, shrugging. “No big deal. I’ll rub one out when I get home.”

  “Woah that’s a lot of information.”

  “Too much information?”

  “No, just more than I expected.” I had slipped off the hood and was leaning on his arm, warm and firm, as I balanced on one leg to slip my flip flops on.

  “So I guess TMI would be if I told you that while I do it I’ll be replaying you coming hard on the hood of my car.”

  I released his arm reluctantly, rolling my eyes. “Yep that would be TMI. I’m really glad you didn’t tell me that.” I wasn’t about to admit it but oddly his dirty words had made me feel better.

  I didn’t want to leave but Callum was grabbing the blanket and said, “I think we better go. It’s getting late.”

  “Can I have my panties back?”

  He took them out of his back pocket and put them in my outstretched hand, a rueful grin on his face. “I can’t keep them as a souvenir?”

  “Not a chance!” I said in a mock prim voice.

  As Callum returned the blanket to the trunk I settled in the car. As soon as he started the engine, he put the music back on. We had driven without speaking for a few minutes when I finally got up the courage to ask him what I was dying to know. “So, how come you’re so good at that?”

  He glanced over, a look of puzzlement on his face. I tried again. “Your skills go beyond any teenage boy I’ve encountered. Not that I have a whole lot to compare you to personally, but I know my friends’ experiences too, and you just seem so much ahead of the rest of them.”

  “By skills you mean…” he asked
, his eyes now dancing. I felt myself get red, but I persevered, figuring he couldn’t see my embarrassment in the dark.

  “You’re going to make me say it? OK, I mean the way you kiss, the way you suckled my breast, what you did just now- you are so out of the teenage league it’s not even funny. Where did you learn all that?”

  He didn’t answer right away, and I waited. He was chewing on his lip ring.

  “A lot of practice.”

  “You’re 18, how much experience can you have had?”

  “My policy with sex has been ‘early and often’.”

  I scoffed, “OK now you’re just bragging, manwhore.”

  He chuckled, then took his eyes off the road to look at me. “Hey, does that really shock you?”

  “No” I lied. I tucked this conversation away to dwell on later.

  We drove on in silence, just listening to the music. Then Callum asked, “So the other guys you’ve been with haven’t done that to you?”

  I could feel this was a loaded question, and by ‘other guys’ he meant Bryce, so I tried to keep it light. “Let’s just say they have, but not with the same results. That’s all the ego-stroking you’re getting tonight. I’ve complemented you on your mad skills, what more do you want?”

  He laughed but then got serious again. “OK I won’t pry but let me just say this, Jenny. Any guy you are with should be doing everything he can to make you feel pleasure too, not just trying to get his own rocks off. Guys can be selfish- don’t let them.”

  With that I kept my mouth shut for the rest of the ride home, feeling aroused again.

  Chapter 16

  At the tutoring session the next day neither of us mentioned the night before, which I was sort of disappointed about, but I’d accepted that Callum was comfortable compartmentalizing our interactions. Apparently for him, a bet was a bet and that was it. And the same went for sex. I on the other hand was obsessing about him all the time, but that was my own problem. At one point, while Callum was answering the landline in the other room, a text came through on his phone. It was lying on the table so I leaned over to look at the screen. Jessica. C U L8R?

  I know it served me right for being nosy, but green waves of jealousy flooded me. Never mind that she texted like a 12 year old. That was beside the point. He certainly had plenty of available tail, and it seemed that what we did together was just a little game to him, probably repeated with girls every night of the week. Since I couldn’t seem to resist him I would have to steel myself and keep my emotions in check.

  When he came back from the living room he glanced at his phone and noticed the text but didn’t comment on it. I made a point of looking at the textbook.

  “Well you seem to be really on top of this current material,” I said, really just to have something to say.

  “I wish I could say the same for Spanish,” he said, leaning back and stretching his arms over his head. His shirt rode up, revealing his delicious abs. My breath caught but he was oblivious, luckily.

  “Every fucking time Esposito gives one of her pop quizzes I’m either not there or haven’t studied. I really need to pass the next one.”

  “I had her last year. I’m surprised you haven’t figured out Ms. Esposito’s tell. You’re pretty observant.” I couldn’t resist adopting a know-it-all tone.

  Callum’s eyes narrowed with interest and he lowered his arms. “You mean there’s a way to know if she’s giving a pop quiz?”

  “I bet the problem is you’re not in class often enough to work this out. It has to do with the outfit she wears the day before.”

  Callum groaned. “I haven’t a clue what she was wearing today.”

  “Are any of my crowd in your class?”

  He thought for a moment. “That girl Charlotte’s in there. She’s a cheerleader, right?”

  “Yes. OK I’ll ask her.” I got out my phone and sent a text to Charlotte.

  What did Esposito wear in class today?

  Callum leaned over to read it, the proximity giving me goose bumps. He looked skeptical. “Won’t she think that’s a random question?”

  I smiled. “Oh she knows the tell. I told her about it a while back.”

  A moment later Charlotte’s text appeared: Pink jacket and black skirt. It’s on!

  I looked up from my phone, meeting Callum’s expectant gaze. “Yup. Quiz tomorrow for sure. She had on the pink jacket.”

  Callum’s eyebrows shot up. “That is fucking huge. Thank you.” He was looking at me with awe. I could get addicted to that look.

  I turned my head back to the textbook. “No problem.”

  Charlotte texted again, curious: Why do you need to know? Tell me later the whole story

  When I looked up, I could see Callum was back to his normal skeptical self. “I hope you’re right. If I study and there isn’t one”-

  I cut him off. “You’ll actually learn some Spanish and be in better shape for the exam then,” I snapped.

  He threw his hands up in mock surrender. “OK, OK, no need to be so touchy. What’s Charlotte’s number? I’ll see if she has some of the notes I’m missing.”

  A stab of jealousy entered my chest, my second in the space of an hour, and I swallowed this one down too. Probably nothing would happen, but even if it did, Charlotte was super nice, and unattached. I looked up at Callum with my best neutral expression.

  “I’ll text it to you. I thought you didn’t trust cheerleaders though.” I knew I was fishing a bit but couldn’t stop myself.

  Callum nodded. “True. But Charlotte seems decent enough. I don’t know why she bothers with you lot.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate that,” I said acidly, my eyes back on the textbook. I guess I had asked for that.

  Callum surprised me by touching my cheek with the back of his hand. I felt my face fire up at his touch. As I looked up at him out of the corner of my eyes, he pulled his hand away slowly. There was a tenderness in his eyes that made my insides feel gooey. “You know I’m just teasing you, right? What I really don’t get is why you bother with that crowd.”

  I was silent for a moment, trying to formulate an answer that would make sense to him and be honest to myself. I focused on my water bottle. I could feel his eyes on me while he waited for my response. “I know everyone must think that I’m in the popular crowd because I want to be, well, popular, but honestly popularity is irrelevant to me. My best friend moved away. My mom is gone for months and my dad might as well be gone for the amount I see him. My brother is pretty cool but he’s on the other side of the country. I’m not saying this to throw myself a pity party here but I guess I’m kind of lonely, and now I have friends.”

  I didn’t meet his eyes, but twisted my hands around and around in my lap. I hadn’t finished and Callum seemed to know that, because he waited. I took a deep breath and continued. “The second thing is, I really like cheerleading and I’m pretty good at it. I was in ballet for years and I love performing, pathetic as that may seem. I get a rush from it. You must feel that with your band. I don’t consider myself better than others at the school- I couldn’t give a shit about that. Another group would be fine by me but this is the one that has welcomed me. Now I can have every minute of the day filled with friends, parties, whatever. I don’t want to be sitting home alone every night feeling orphaned from my family. I’m not going to defend my friends- they can be assholes, I get that. But I also know that there are shitty people at all social levels. At my old school I took the nerd route. I was in the Math club and the Science club and I can tell you my so-called friends there were just as cruel to each other as this group is. When my boyfriend, who was president of the Math club, dumped me, my nerdy friends dropped me too.”

  I snuck a peek at Callum. I had revealed more of myself to him than I ever had before, and was feeling vulnerable. I really hoped he wouldn’t be his normal judgmental self because I wasn’t sure I could handle it right then. I didn’t want to have to defend Lacey and the others. But what he said next surprised me.
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  “I’m sorry your family isn’t there for you, Jenny.” His voice was quiet and grave. I had to restrain myself from leaning toward him, throwing myself into his arms. In that one statement he had cut right through to the heart of the matter.

  He continued. “I see how you ended up in that group. And you can pull it off because of the way you look and because you don’t give a fuck. That is so unusual for them that they’re panting for you. I’ll try to ease up a bit about them, even though I think you deserve better friends.”

  I was still for a moment, processing his words. He really did get it, get me. My social circle wasn’t the issue. On some level I was immune to them because I simply wasn’t that attached. That was why Bryce’s game playing or Alex’s bitchiness had no effect on me. I could survive without any of them, and that was probably why they were so friendly to me. It was my family that was breaking my heart. It flashed through my mind that Callum had the ability to break my heart too, if I let him. But I didn’t say all that. Instead I asked, “What do you mean about the way I look? Do you think I look shallow or something?” Geez why did I ask? I didn’t think my ego, not to mention my heart, could survive Callum’s criticism of my appearance, but I had to know.

  Callum’s eyes sparked almost like he was angry. “Jenny you’re either fishing for a compliment or you really are clueless.” I must have visibly winced at his harsh words because his face softened. “OK let me spell it out because I guess you don’t realize it, but you. Are. Fucking. Gorgeous.” I looked away from his intense stare. He continued. “And almost every guy in our school would kill to have you, and almost every girl would kill to look like you.”

  But you’re not most guys, apparently.

  I looked at my hands, not knowing what to say. His words thrilled me even if I knew he was wrong. “Thanks for the ego boost, although I don’t totally buy your take on this. Where were all the panting boys last year? No one asked me out on a date then.” I knew for a fact that my popularity boiled down to Lacey taking me under her wing, and that was all.

  Callum flung up his hands in exasperation. “No one asked you out last year not because they didn’t want to but because you had this wall up that said ‘No trespassing, keep out’. Would you have gone out with anyone who asked you out last year?”