Nowhere Left to Hide (The Royal Trilogy Book 3)

by Kat Mizera

  Tyler came by on Monday morning to have a cup of coffee and check on me, and it was good to see him. He settled at the island with me after rough-housing with the kids for a few minutes and his eyes met mine questioningly.

  “How are you really?” he asked. “You look like hell, girlfriend. And you know I say that with love.”

  “You should see me topless,” I teased.

  He grimaced. “Ew. You’re like my big sister. No thanks.”

  “I meant all the bruises,” I laughed.

  He laughed too. “I know. How’s the pain?”

  “Not too bad. I take something at night to help me sleep and that’s made a huge difference, but overall, I’m okay.”

  “I swung by the hospital to see Jay.” He paused. “Who’s the woman?”

  I glanced around to make sure the kids weren’t nearby. “His girlfriend, Liz. Who’s knocked up, by the way.”

  He made a face. “Jesus fucking Christ. What was he thinking?”

  “I don’t fucking know. I mean, I don’t deserve any wife-of-the-year awards, but it’s been a tough pill to swallow.”

  “Is the band done, Casey?”

  “Beyond finishing this tour? I don’t know. We owe the record company another album or we stand to lose a lot of money. Jay is going to have to suck it up.”

  “What about you?”

  I cocked my head. “I’m fine. I just wish my stupid collarbone would heal and I could sleep on my side again.”

  “I’m talking about your heart, silly. Your soul.”

  “Can we not talk about that? I’m still processing everything.”

  “Okay.” Tyler was the most easy-going guy I knew. “You need help at the studio or anything?”

  I eyed him. “You bored or something?”

  He scratched his head and stared at something off in the distance, a strange look on his face. “You know, you and the band are all I have.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, my dad’s a drunk, I don’t even remember my mom… I’m single, and because we’ve been on the road almost constantly the last five years, I don’t have any friends other than you guys. I’ve got this great house here in Vegas, a fancy car, and more money than I know what to do with but I don’t have a life. Is that fucked up or what?”

  “How come you’re single?” I asked him. “When we first started, you were sleeping with a different girl in every city, and that’s fine—that’s what you should be doing at that age. But after all this time, hasn’t it gotten old? Aren’t you interested in being with one woman? Even if you’re not ready for the white picket fence and shit, how about a relationship?”

  “It’s weird, but there just hasn’t been anyone. Most of the women I meet on tour are just looking for a notch in their bedpost, and that’s okay because I usually am too. But none of them stood out. None of them made me look twice. I think there’s something wrong with me.”

  When it came to music or performing, there wasn’t an insecure bone in Tyler’s body, so I’d never seen this kind of vulnerability in him. “Maybe it’s a good time to relax, go on vacation. You’re welcome to use the house in Greece for a few weeks, lie on the beach and soak up some sun.”

  He shrugged. “Thanks, but I can do that here. I mean, no beach, but sun myself by the pool. Hell, that’s all I’ve done since we’ve been back. I guess I need to get laid or something and I’ll snap out of it.”

  “I wish I had advice for you. You can’t rush it, you know? You’re obviously looking for a special girl and you’ll find her when the time is right.”

  He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Thanks, Casey. I hope you take your own advice.”

  “About what? Dating? Dude, I’ve got a divorce and a half and one jilted-at-the-altar under my belt. I’m thinking it’s time for me to join a nunnery.”

  “No way. You’re gorgeous and special. Your prince is out there somewhere, you’ll see.”

  If he only knew the truth. My prince was definitely out there, but the writing was on the wall; one way or another, I was going to lose him again. I just needed to come to terms with it.

  Sasha had asked me if she could bring her new boyfriend home for dinner tonight and I was looking forward to it. I’d met him briefly at a hockey game a couple of weeks ago but hadn’t had a chance to talk to him. Now that he was here, I had to admit Anton was freakin’ adorable. Tall and blond with blue eyes and striking features, he was polite and easy-going, helping Sasha set the table and making conversation with Marisol and the rest of us. He was a talented college hockey player whose father, Anatoli Petrov, was a star forward for the local team, the Las Vegas Sidewinders. The sports world expected big things from Anton and we all promised to watch his games on TV next season.

  Sasha was completely enamored and it was so cute watching them together. Joss and Jessie seemed pretty taken with him as well, and even Luke had a million questions about hockey. We talked all through dinner and dessert and then they went out back for a swim since it was so hot. Sasha hung back with me, watching Anton take off his shirt with a barely perceptible sigh.

  “You have it bad,” I chuckled.

  “Come on, tell me he’s not beautiful without a shirt.”

  I gave him a once-over and nodded. “Way too young for me, but yes, he’s quite handsome. What a body. I hope you’re being careful because I know you’re getting some.”

  She flushed. “Mom!”

  “I just want you to use protection.”

  “We do. Every time.”

  “Excellent.” I paused. “So, does he know what he’s doing?”

  “Mo-om!” This time she’d turned my name into two syllables, which was indicative of a rising level of embarrassment on her part.

  “What? I already know you’re not a virgin. I’m looking out for you. If he’s not very good, there are things you can do to help him learn what you like. It’s very important you don’t settle for mediocre sex just because you really like him.”

  “The sex is fantastic,” she whispered, blushing furiously. “Like, the best I’ve ever had.”

  I smiled. “That’s good to hear.” I leaned back in the chair. “Go be with him. I’m fine over here. Do you want me to drag the kids inside?”

  “No, it’s okay. I want him to be comfortable here the way I’m comfortable with his family.”

  “Okay.” We sat in companionable silence for a while and then she pulled off her shorts and T-shirt and joined them in the water for a game of Marco Polo.

  Sandor came to sit beside me and the look on his face scared me. “What is it?” I asked automatically.

  “I heard from Scott.”

  “And?”

  “It was definitely not an accident.”

  My eyes met his. “He talked to Jesper?”

  “Apparently, Jesper and Daniil are in a relationship.”

  I frowned. “Daniil is gay?”

  Sandor snorted. “Not even a little. I don’t know what my little brother is up to, but I’m going to break his fucking neck when I get my hands on him.”

  “Are you sure? Guys like you, from a socially conservative country like Limaj, and part of the royal family—”

  He cut me off, shaking his head. “I’ve never given a shit about anything like that and he knows it. I’ve seen him take on three women at once and pout over a break-up.”

  “Could he be bi and just hid that part of himself from you?”

  He made a face. “Anything is possible, but this is too much of a coincidence. He’s having a relationship with the only other person who knows Erik is alive? They have kids. They’re Jesper’s biological children, but he and Daniil got married and have a life together.”

  “But what does that prove other than that Daniil was in the closet?”

  “Erik said the minute he told Jesper about the identity of the driver of the truck that hit you, Jesper told him he wasn’t safe and to get out of the house. Unfortunately, Daniil walked in before he could leave.”

&n
bsp; “What does that mean?” I asked in alarm. “Is he okay?”

  “He’s fine, headed back to Monte Carlo. He’s going to meet Nick there and get him settled and then he’ll be back here in a few days. He said he found out some interesting things but didn’t want to say too much over the phone.”

  “I can’t believe Daniil would betray him,” I said sadly.

  “Neither can I.” Tension was etched into his face as he kept an eye on the kids. “This hurts. What Anwar did was fucked up, but this is different. It really hurts. He’s my brother. I thought I knew him, so this feels like a betrayal on multiple levels. If he’s gay or bisexual or likes farm animals, I thought we were close enough for him to trust me with something like that. But apparently not. More than that, if I didn’t know something so basic about him, it would seem I don’t know anything about him at all. And if I didn’t even know my own brother’s sexuality, I obviously don’t have any idea what he’s capable of. Which is the most dangerous thing of all.”

  “What are you thinking?” I whispered softly. “Has Daniil been a traitor?”

  “That’s the only solution I can think of. Jesper is the only person outside of a very small group of us that knows Erik is alive and there’s never been any indication he told anyone. Jesper was part of the anti-rebellion for a long time. Once it became impossible to go back and forth into Limaj, he settled into his life in London and Daniil miraculously turned gay and married him. Another coincidence that’s too convenient for me.”

  “He married Jesper and started a family with him to find out what’s going on with the anti-rebellion?” I couldn’t wrap my head around it.

  “Erik said he was condescending, aloof, almost smug. He chuckled at Erik’s surprise about his sexuality, and—” He cut off abruptly as Sasha and Anton approached us.

  “We’re going to dry off and get going soon,” Sasha said. “We didn’t want to be gone too long since Toli’s busy with the playoffs.”

  “It was good to have you home tonight,” I told her. “But you two go when you need to. I’ll just be sitting here in this ugly sling, not in the water.”

  Sasha and Anton talked with us for a while, until they’d dried off a little, and then they were gone. The other kids were taking showers and getting ready for bed while I sat and pondered my destiny. The fear had been gone for a long time, replaced by grief and loneliness; now I didn’t know which was worse.

  20

  Erik

  Daniil and Jesper were married.

  Daniil and Jesper had a fucking family together.

  Daniil was a motherfucking traitor.

  I’d known something was wrong because of the look in Jesper’s eyes the minute I mentioned Daniil’s high school roommate. I hadn’t known what, exactly, upset him so much but he’d tried diligently to get me out of the house before Daniil returned. Then we sat there, awkwardly making small talk as Daniil all but laughed at my shock and surprise. He probably thought my reaction was because he was gay, but that wasn’t it at all. In fact, I doubted he was gay at all, and suspected he was merely using Jesper. For what, we couldn’t know because when it came down to it, Jesper didn’t know anything. Not anymore. Daniil had known I was alive all along and the anti-rebellion had fallen apart several years ago.

  They’d been together three years, according to Jesper, right around the time Jesper had begun the process of finding a surrogate to carry a baby for him. He and Daniil ran into each other at a restaurant in London and the rest was history. Except Jesper had been terrified, Daniil was someone I no longer knew, and my life was in a tailspin. What the fuck had happened in the last two weeks to derail the life I’d spent the last ten years carefully constructing?

  Being back in Monte Carlo for a few days helped my state of mind as I gave Nick access to our computer and security systems, introduced him to the key players at the hotel, and made sure he was comfortable in his suite. We’d discussed these latest developments, but even though we knew Daniil was up to something, there was no concrete way to tie everything together. That was the most frightening thing of all, because we simply had no idea what was going on.

  Now I was headed back to Las Vegas and had to admit I was exhausted. I’d flown from Monte Carlo to Las Vegas, to Greece, back to Las Vegas, then to London, back to Monte Carlo, and now I was in Las Vegas once again. I wanted to sleep for about a month and I desperately wanted Casey beside me. I wasn’t sure if we could pull it off, but I’d spoken to Sandor and he said he could make it happen for at least a night or two.

  I got to the room Nick had reserved for me, stripped off my clothes and took a quick shower. Then I crawled beneath the sheets and fell asleep. It occurred to me that I needed to call Casey, but I really needed some rest before I could function.

  I woke to bright sunlight and the smell of coffee. I rolled over in alarm to see Casey setting up a tray of food.

  “Hey, don’t carry that.” I jumped out of bed and took the tray from her.

  “Good morning.” She smiled. “And thank you.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Sandor told me you went straight to bed last night so I took the twins to my mom’s this morning, and Sandor is taking Luke to swim team, which means we have part of the day to be together.”

  “That sounds amazing.” I leaned over to kiss her.

  “Breakfast first.” She grinned.

  I pulled on shorts and a T-shirt and sat across from her. She poured us each a cup of coffee as I opened two steaming plates of bacon, eggs, and hash browns. There were fresh biscuits and muffins, along with butter and some kind of jam, and my mouth watered. I hadn’t eaten much in the last three days so I inhaled everything while Casey picked at her meal.

  “Not hungry?” I asked her.

  She shook her head. “I ate with the kids. You want the rest of mine?”

  I finished her plate too and then we just sat there. Across from each other. Looking into each other’s eyes. It was weird. And comfortable. And some kind of new reality. Because we both knew what was coming even though we were desperate to stop it, delay it, keep this tiny bit of happiness as long as possible.

  “You’re going to disappear again, right?” Her voice held no censure, just a finality that gutted me. She wouldn’t meet my eyes, toying with a biscuit that she wasn’t really eating.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “Right now, everything is very circumstantial. Maybe Daniil was bisexual all along and was simply embarrassed by it. Jesper is a fantastic human being, rich and handsome, the complete package. He and Daniil would be a great couple if they truly have feelings for each other, but I’m having trouble picturing it. Samuel might have fallen in with bad people, come here and bought himself a new identity, a new life, and the car accident was just shit luck.”

  She raised those gorgeous blue eyes and met my gaze sadly. “But it’s just too many coincidences.”

  I nodded reluctantly. “Seems like it.”

  “So are you going back to Monte Carlo or going completely underground?”

  “I have to consider Leni,” I said. “And there are several layers to that as well. I’m her dad. The only one she knows. Liz is pregnant, which is definitely going to impact her life, whether we tell her it’s Jayson’s baby or mine, so we have to be cognizant of that. If we divorce because Liz wants to be with Jayson full-time, how is he going to be involved with the band if he’s living in Monte Carlo? Does that mean she’d move here? There are a lot of variables and to date she hasn’t taken Leni into consideration at all.”

  “That’s not fair,” she said gently. “Not that I’m taking her side or anything, but between the accident, her discovery that she’s pregnant, and now what’s going on with Daniil, she’s had a lot on her plate. Leni’s been here with all the grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins, so she’s safe and happy while we crazy grown-ups do our thing. As for the future, well, I think the four of us need to sit down and talk about it.”

  “Maybe we could meet here
or at your house. Is Jayson getting out of the hospital soon?”

  “The doctors say he’s doing great but they want to watch him because the injuries were so severe. They haven’t given us a release date yet.”

  “Unfortunately, he has to be part of the equation. He’s in a private room, right?”

  She nodded.

  “I can sneak in there late tonight. You and Liz can go together and I’ll show up as soon as it’s safe.”

  “You’ve gotten good at this spy business.”

  “I didn’t have much choice.” I slowly got to my feet and held out my arms to her. “We don’t have a lot of time, baby, and I don’t want to talk about Liz and Jayson or anything else.”

  She came to me without hesitation, nestling against me. She felt so fucking good in my arms, I didn’t know how I was going to let her go again. I kept asking myself this question but never got an answer, so I just held her, as tightly as I could.

  “Are we going to bed?” she whispered against my throat, her voice a sexy rasp filled with need.

  “Fuck yeah, we are.”

  I undressed us both, taking my time with her because she winced every time I moved her torso or arm. My fingers skimmed her beautiful body slowly, and we kissed with a mixture of passion and curiosity, as though we were somehow starting over. I wanted to lick and touch and taste every inch of her, but her physical injuries coupled with our lack of time made it difficult to decide what to do first.

  “What are you thinking?” she asked, looking up at me with her heart in her eyes.

  “How much I love you,” I whispered. “How much I need you. How much I have to make up to you.”

  She leaned up and kissed me, wiping away all thoughts of anything serious and letting my body take over. We moved together naturally, even with the pain she was in, so I didn’t question it when she pushed me toward the chair by the desk. She grabbed for a T-shirt that had been tossed haphazardly on the bed and dropped it on the chair before pushing me into it. Then she slowly slid onto my lap, her thighs resting on either side of my hips.