Moonglass

by Jessi Kirby

  Heat crept across my chest and settled on my face. He really didn’t like me. At all. Jerk. Humility peeled my fingers from the railing while at the same time pride made me open my mouth. “Wow. I guess a middle-aged lifeguard supervisor is a pretty scary thing.” Again, it wasn’t all that impressive, but I had to say something. I walked away, wishing I had thought up something better.

  “Bye, Anna!!” he called. I didn’t turn around, but waved my hand over my head, more out of annoyance than anything else. Then I loosened my ponytail and let my hair fall down to my back, shaking it out a little with my fingers as I walked away. I had plans to make.

  The sun dipped into the ocean as we pulled into the Muddy Creek lot. Ashley squinted behind her giant sunglasses and scanned for the best place to park.

  “Does it matter where I go? I don’t want to get a ticket or get carjacked or anything.”

  I smiled. “Nobody’s gonna carjack you. Besides, if you get a ticket, I’ll just have my dad take care of it.”

  “All right, all right. It just looks so … remote. Is that the right word for when it seems, like, far away or something?”

  I laughed. “Yeah, that’s what it means, but I wouldn’t call it remote with that shopping center over there.” I pointed to the lights across PCH.

  “Whatever.” She pulled into a spot, or rather, two spots. “I hope we brought enough goodies. I grabbed everything I could think of that would be good for a bonfire. Do you think someone will have a corkscrew?”

  “For what?”

  “For the champagne. It was the best thing I could sneak out of the house. My mom has a big stash of it for her parties.”

  “Um, Ash, you don’t need a corkscrew for champagne. You know how it pops and all?” I couldn’t help but smile. “And … why’d you bring champagne for a bonfire, anyway?”

  She looked at me like I had just asked her why the sky was blue, then said simply: “It’s festive!” She pulled her lip gloss out of her purse, reapplied, and then smacked her lips. “I figured there’d be some cute lifeguards to lug it down. Come on, Anna. That’s supposed to be your thing.”

  “Yeah, we’ll see,” I said, looking around. “None seem to be falling at my feet just yet.”

  I opened the door and scanned the parking lot, hoping to see one in particular. Ashley popped the trunk of her car and walked around to the back. I couldn’t help but stare for a second at the perfect magazine picture that she was. She looked like an ad for Southern California rich, with her three-hundred-dollar jeans and gauzy white top. The front sections of her blond hair were twisted back into a hippyish do that left the rest of it wavy and expertly tousled. She smiled her sunset-lip-gloss smile, and for half a second I thought about the lack of logic in bringing a beautiful, friendly girl along when I was trying to hook Tyler.

  I pulled down the sun visor and checked myself in the mirror. I had the kind of skin that tanned easily, and by this point in the summer it was deep brown with a few freckles scattered across my nose and cheeks. I had always liked it when it got like this, because it meant I’d had a good summer. Ashley walked over and bent to look at my reflection with me.

  “You know, MAC makes a really good makeup that would totally take care of those freckles and even out your skin tone.” I looked at her immaculately made-up face.

  “I didn’t have time to put on any makeup. Lemme see your lip gloss.” I had actually thought about it before I’d left, but then had figured it’d be dark anyway. And I didn’t want to look like I was trying too hard. But then, a little bit couldn’t hurt. She handed it over and I smoothed the thick cakey-smelling gloss over my lips. “Okay. Let’s get the stuff and go down there.”

  Just as I stepped out and closed the door, a jeep pulled up next to us. It was James. “Ladies!” He leaned out of the car. “Glad you could make it. Can I help you carry anything down?”

  “Sure!” Ashley interjected, before I had even opened my mouth. I gave her a look. She pranced back to her trunk excitedly and began pulling out grocery bags. “I have all kinds of stuff in here—chips and cookies, hot dogs, all the bonfire stuff I could think of. And s’mores stuff too! No dieting tonight.”

  James followed her to the back of the car and stood there smiling as she loaded his arms up. “You don’t mess around, do you?”

  She pulled out a stack of Mexican blankets and put them into my arms. “Aren’t these cute? I picked them up today at Pottery Barn. Oh! And these.” She handed me a bundle of tiki torches. “They’re perfect, right?”

  I nodded. “Ash, you didn’t have to go out and get all this—”

  She waved me off, then shrugged cutely. “Why not? It was fun. It will be fun. Right, James?”

  “That’s right!” He grinned from behind his aviators and gave an enthusiastic thumbs-up. “Super fun. Is that about it? We got a long walk ahead of us, and I could use an icy cold one ASAP.”

  Ashley shut the trunk. “That’s it. Show me to the beach!” She put an arm out, and James took it, despite all he was carrying.

  It was nearly impossible to be around her and not start thinking everything was just a grand adventure. As we tromped down the steep trail to the beach, I grinned and listened to Ashley chattering to James about what an admirable and heroic profession he was in, which I was sure he was eating up. They all did.

  At the bottom of the trail the beach was open and empty except for a small gathering around the rock-bordered fire pit. A small pyramid of kindling sat in the middle, waiting for a splash of lighter fluid and a match. The group was mostly made up of tanned guys who stood holding red cups, barefoot in their best surf shirts and jeans. I dug my toes into the cool sand as I walked over, trying to find Tyler’s face among them. James set everything down and walked around the circle of guys, giving high fives. Ashley and I stood on the outside of the ring, while a girl sitting on the sand looked both of us over as she chewed her gum. She leaned over and whispered something to her friend next to her, and they both laughed. Just as I started to rethink the idea of us being there, James raised his voice.

  “Everybody, this is Anna Ryan. That would be Boss Ryan’s daughter, so you never saw her here.” He waited for a reaction, which mostly consisted of nods meant to say hi. I nodded back and wished I had a red cup in my hand to raise and hide behind. “And this is her friend Ashley, who has been so kind as to bring a giant spread of stuff for our little soiree here.”

  Ashley gave a coy little smile. “Anyone want to toast to anything? I brought a case of champagne.” It was like someone had pressed play again after pausing a scene. Everyone hopped to life, and soon plastic champagne flutes were tapping, the fire was lit, and we all were feeling plenty warm, even though the night had cooled down. After a long, rambling toast delivered by James, the veteran of the group, we all settled around the fire that was now spitting and crackling.

  Muted conversations drifted across the fire, then tapered off. In between, the periodic smack of a wave on the sand punctuated the easy, satisfied silences, and it felt like one of those nights so perfect, you always remember it. The breeze shifted in my direction, along with the smoke, so I stood up to avoid the burn in my eyes. With no moon illuminating the beach, everything beyond our little ring of bonfire was black. On the highway above an occasional set of headlights cruised by and illuminated the white lines of breaking waves. It had a different feel to it from the beach in Pismo, with its pier lights and busy promenade. There was a quietness here that felt unique and special.

  I thought about the cottages lining the beach near my house, and of the one that sat alone on the sand. How they just sat in dark silence as the waves rushed up each night, probably all with stories to tell of perfect summer evenings. For a moment, when we’d first arrived, my dad had started to tell me about them. But I had been too mad at him about moving to listen, and since then they’d felt almost like a taboo topic. Like a lot of things were with him. Now I was curious about how it had all started, this little place that felt so separate from
the rest of the world. I sat back down and asked no one in particular, “So what’s the deal with all of those empty cottages near the restaurant? The ones on my side of the beach are all fixed up, but those look like people just up and left twenty years ago or something.”

  Next to me James cleared his throat and sighed. “Ah, the history of the cove. Let me give you the short version. A long time ago—like, back in the thirties or something—the cove was owned by a guy who leased it out to families that started out as campers. From Memorial Day to Labor Day—the whole summer.” He took a swig of beer from his red cup and stifled a burp. “Eventually those people decided it was the best little piece of paradise around, and they got themselves long-term leases with him and started turning their camping spots into beach shacks. It was like a private little village with parties round the clock, and people just doing their thing—diving for dinner in the ocean, sharing everything with each other, being artsy … whatever. The rest of the world left them alone, and they liked it that way.” He paused. “How do you not know all this, Ryan? Your dad’s like a piece of living Crystal Cove history.” Before I could answer, he took in a deep breath and went on.

  “Anyway, fast-forward to the seventies, when the state bought the land from this landowner guy. The families got eviction notices from the state and fought them for twenty or so years until they finally lost. When they did, it got real ugly down here.”

  Ashley had stopped listening and was complimenting the gum-chewing girl on her marshmallow-roasting ability. Everyone else had settled into two- or three-person conversations around the fire. James stopped for a second and stretched. “Am I losin’ you, Ryan?”

  “No, no,” I encouraged. “What do you mean ‘ugly’?”

  “I mean, they basically got kicked out of houses that had been in their families for generations. They were bitter, for sure. Some of ’em refused to leave, even on the last night, and it got so out of hand that even the lifeguards had to help out the cops to get them out. Your dad’s probably got some crazy stories from that night.” He looked at me for confirmation. I hadn’t heard any. Couldn’t even think of overhearing any. I’d had no idea about any of it.

  I took a long drink of champagne and forced it down with a shiver. “So, then what?” Bubbles fizzed at the back of my throat.

  “By the time the state got the cottages, they were historical landmarks, so they started to fix ’em up. They did all the ones on your side of the beach and up the bluff, and now they get rented out by vacationers from all over. Germans with a love for Speedos especially seem to like ’em. You notice that?”

  “And the ones on the north side of the beach? And that one near my house? They look like they’re about to fall down.”

  “They probably are. But the money ran out. They’ll be fixed up one day, but not anytime soon.” A few beats passed between us, and I pictured the beach cottage next to mine, with its turquoise fence and hazy windows. Stuck in time, waiting.

  “Had your fill of history now? My cup’s about dry. You want a refill?”

  “Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry. I mean, thanks.” James stood and brushed the sand off his legs. “Have you ever been in any of them?”

  “Your dad has the keys to all of them,” a familiar voice said from across the fire.

  My stomach flip-flopped, and I ceased to care about anything else James could tell me. He immediately understood and excused himself to the keg, taking my cup with him. Tyler walked over casually and sat down next to me in the sand. I looked over and raised my eyebrows.

  “Yeah?” I said. “I bet if I somehow got those keys, I wouldn’t be able to find anyone brave enough to use them with me.”

  He took a drink from his cup. I leaned into him, just slightly, and smiled. The champagne had made me bold. “In fact, isn’t it dangerous for you to be here, sitting next to me?” I lowered my voice to a near-whisper. “I mean, my dad’s your boss …”

  A slow smile crossed his face, and he put his chin down. “There are some things in life you can’t miss, and this bonfire is one of them.”

  I looked at him, puzzled. It didn’t seem like that big a deal.

  “You’ll see. We’re only just getting started.”

  James returned with a red cup full of champagne for me, and Ashley fell giggling on the other side of me. “This is the best night! Except, do you know what? Nobody knows how to say the name of this. She held up an empty champagne bottle, its yellow label obscured by sand. I wiped it away with my thumb, and she pointed. “See, it’s French. You say it ‘vuvclee-ko.’ And you sound very sophisticated that way.” We both laughed, tapped our cups, and drank. I knew champagne wasn’t exactly supposed to be chugged, but I could tolerate the taste of it better than beer, and it did seem “festive,” as Ashley had put it earlier, so I finished off the refill James had gotten me in a few gulps, and told myself that was it for the night.

  Tyler had gotten up and was making his way around the bonfire, shaking hands and nodding with some guys, slapping others on the back. Fire crackled, and I leaned back on my hands, face to the sky, where I was surprised at how many stars I could see. It felt good to move out of reach of the heat. My cheeks still burned a bit, but I figured it was from the last few swigs of champagne. I tipped my head back to level and spun a little. Ashley put her head on my shoulder.

  “Anna?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I think I’m drunk.”

  “Me too.” She hiccupped, and we both laughed. I watched Tyler across the fire, talking with a blond kid who had to be a rookie. Tyler stood with one hand in his pocket, the other holding his red cup. Everything about him looked easy and relaxed. Confident. Like he knew I was on the other side of the fire watching his every move, and he didn’t care in the least. He glanced over, right at me for a split second, and I looked away, gathering my courage.

  James stood up and cleared his throat, over and over, until everyone realized they were supposed to look at him. I looked over at Tyler, who was grinning at this. James was wearing a straw cowboy hat and no shirt now. In the light of the fire he could pass for a twenty-year-old, but I figured he had to be at least thirty. He swept his arms out again, in a gesture meant to get everyone’s attention.

  “Ladies and Gentlemen, I apologize for interrupting all of the pre-hook-up groundwork that’s being laid right now, but we’ve come to a very important point in the evening, an honored Crystal Cove lifeguard tradition.”

  Four of the youngest-looking guards groaned and looked at each other.

  James nodded. “Yep, it’s the CCAD. For you rooks, that’s the Crystal Cove Ab—as in ‘Ab Rock’—Dive.” He pointed to the cliff at the end of the cove, the one I had run to on my first morning.

  “Aw, shit,” the youngest rookie muttered to the guy sitting next to him. The other guards, Tyler included, clapped their hands and hooted.

  “Yep, guys. It’s swim, dive, and be naked, for tomorrow you are rookies no more.” None of them moved. They just sat there, waiting for further instruction. “But first,” James said, looking at me for a moment, “I’m going to fill you in on a little history you may not know about, tell you all how this tradition started.” He took a step closer to the fire, and everyone leaned in, smiling and trying to figure out what was gonna come out of his mouth next. He had that effect on people. James put his hands together. “Okay. It all started a long time ago—twenty years or something, I don’t know. There was only one rookie that year, and he was a crazy-ass kid. I mean, this kid kicked everyone’s butt swimming, towed a boat out of the surf line his second day in a tower, and pulled crazy tail.” Everyone laughed.

  “Sounds like you, James!” a voice from the other side of the fire yelled.

  “Nope. I wish I was as cool as this guy was. And Jesus, I’m not that old.”

  “How old are you, anyway?” the same voice yelled.

  “Old enough to know when to shut up. I’m trying to tell a story here.” He smiled and squatted down so the fire lit up his face under
the hat. “Anyway, the older guards decided this kid needed his ego knocked down a tad, so at the bonfire out here, they gave him all the beers he wanted, then threw down a challenge for him. See Ab Rock down there?” He pointed toward the rock at the end of the cove. “They told him that every year, in order to graduate from being a rookie, you had to swim out to it, climb up to the first point, and jump off naked.” The rookies were quiet now, trying to shrink into the sand, and I was glad I wasn’t one of them. James went on.

  “So anyway, the kid agreed, dropped his shorts right there in front of the whole bonfire, and dolphin-dove out into the water. A few of the older guards swam out with him, to make sure he didn’t chicken out. They all climbed the rock, but when they got to the jumping point, the crazy bastard kept climbing, all the way up to the top of the cliff, which is about fifty feet up. At high tide.” He paused and turned—and so did all of us—to the cliff that loomed above the water. In the dark I could just make out the outline of it, but my memory of it from that first morning was that it would have been a scary jump to make. A quiet resignation had settled over the rookies seated at James’s feet, and the other guards, Tyler included, stood over them, smiling.

  “Well, the goddamn kid got all the way to the top, stood there a minute in the moonlight, naked and proud, and then backed up, took a running head start, and launched himself off the top of good ol’ Ab Rock.” He let the image sink in for a second before he continued. “Now, everybody was waiting for him to come up, but he decided to have some fun of his own and come in hugging the edge of the cliff in the shadow, where they couldn’t see him. They all got worried and started diving around for the kid. Guards on the beach jumped in. Girls were crying. And you know what he did? He came out of the water, still buck naked, grabbed one of the cottage girls, and laid a big ol’ wet kiss on her.” James looked over at me. “And legend has it that it was love at first kiss, because that girl became his wife later on.