Steel: (#5 The Beat and the Pulse)

by Amity Cross

  “Holly,” she said, smiling widely. Shit, even her teeth were perfect.

  “Thanks for coming to speak with me,” I said, shaking her hand. “Josh insisted on it.”

  “No problems at all. It may turn out to be nothing, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

  “You’ll keep it off record?” I asked, glancing around. “I mean, I don’t want to make a big deal out of it. It’s just some flowers.”

  “Off book until you say the word.” She smiled again, and we walked down the hall to the staffroom so I could change out of my scrubs.

  Luckily, we had the room to ourselves, so I changed behind my locker door as she asked what sounded like stock standard detective questions.

  I told her about David, the guy I’d patched up in the ER, about Archer, and about Gunner and her need to keep pushing me into bed with any eligible guy she laid eyes on. I even told her about Sammy, the little boy with the tumor we couldn’t save despite our best efforts, and about his family. I gave her details on every patient who might have motive to send me gifts after I’d treated them.

  “There have been four lots of flowers, all the same. White lilies,” I said.

  “Do they have any significance?”

  I thought about it for a moment and shook my head. “No. Not at all.”

  “Did they come with cards?”

  “Yeah. They all had a quote written on each. Things about love and belief. And ones about having confidence in yourself.”

  She raised her eyebrows but was otherwise passive. “Did you keep any of them? Or did you throw them away?”

  “I threw them all away. I seriously didn’t think anything of them at first. Then I got another lot and another… Nobody has come forward. It was only because Josh was there and saw them that I’m even talking to you.”

  “Hmm,” Charlie mused.

  “Do you really think it’s more than just a secret admirer?”

  “It’s hard to say. I’ll look into this David guy. He seems to be the most likely suspect. Like you said, it’s probably harmless, but there are some cases like this that turn sour. I’ll check it out and make sure you’re okay.”

  “Thanks for doing this,” I said, pulling my boots on. “If it puts Josh’s mind at ease, then cool.”

  “What about yours?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. “You’re not worried?”

  “It happens from time to time. Patients sending thank-you gifts and asking female staff out on dates.” I shrugged, slinging my bag over my shoulder. “I’m not that worried. These things usually fizzle out after a while.”

  Charlie raised her eyebrows again and rose to her feet. “You need a ride home? Josh said you live in the Docklands. I can swing by that way.”

  “You sure?” I asked. Getting a taxi was a pain at this time of night. Eight p.m. was peak on a Friday, and half the time, I had to sandwich myself onto a tram.

  “It’s no problem. You’re not far out of my way. Five minutes, tops.”

  Sounded great to me. I’d be able to get to know her a little better, and if she was a part of Josh’s unknown life, then I’d be able to learn more about him, too.

  She’d parked in the undercover car park on the east side of the hospital, so it took a little time to walk through the wards and out into the ugly concrete building. We didn’t speak the entire way, but once we were in the car, it was like someone had flipped a switch, and Charlie was all talk.

  She asked me about working at the hospital, how I liked Melbourne, pretty much anything to do with me and nothing about her. That was until she asked the biggest question of the lot.

  “If you don’t mind me asking, how are things going with you and Josh?”

  “Why?” I asked, beginning to feel uncertain.

  “He seems happy. After everything he’s been through, it’s nice.” She turned her head and glanced up and down the street for oncoming traffic. Pulling out of the hospital lot onto Brunswick Street, she headed toward the city.

  “Are you two good friends?”

  “We know each other from around,” she replied absently. “He started going to the same gym as me a couple of weeks ago, so we’ve been talking more.”

  “Oh.” I glanced out the window and scowled. I didn’t even know what gym he went to, or who his friends were, or that he knew Charlie so well. I was falling into another relationship hole I couldn’t get out of. There I went, always diving in headfirst without thinking about the consequences. I had been so hell-bent on not doing it again, and here I was, regardless of all intent. Talk about a major character flaw.

  “What gym?”

  “Pulse…” She said it slowly like the word was key to everything.

  “He doesn’t talk about himself much,” I muttered, watching the city go past.

  “Well, that’s fighter types for you. More brawn than brains sometimes.”

  Turning my attention back onto Charlie, I wondered what she was getting at. “What do you mean ‘fighter types’?”

  Her expression fell, and she shook her head as she realized she’d said a little too much. “Ah, shit.”

  “Charlie.”

  “I don’t know what I should say,” she said. “Josh obviously hasn’t said anything for a reason. Maybe he should be the one who tells you.”

  “Tells me what?” I wasn’t having any of that. She’d dropped herself in it, and now I wanted an explanation.

  She pursed her lips, obviously uncomfortable.

  “You were one of the detectives who spoke to Josh after his accident,” I said, starting to put the pieces of the puzzle that was Josh Caplin together.

  “That’s right.”

  “The accident he doesn’t want to talk about. The one where he didn’t want to press charges…” The more I thought about it, the more I realized Charlie was holding back on something. She knew the real circumstances of the night Josh was left on the footpath and probably even more than that. “You know, I thought it was an accident after you questioned him. Somebody stuffed something up and didn’t want to take the fall for it, so they left him out the front of the ER to avoid getting their involvement on record. I always suspected something else was going on, but I trusted him to tell me when he was ready. Now I see he probably won’t.”

  “Holly, it’s not that simple.”

  “What’s simple is that he doesn’t trust me,” I snapped. “What am I doing with him if he won’t let me in, Charlie? What am I supposed to do? Stick my fingers in my ears and pretend nothing’s wrong? Was he in trouble?”

  She sighed. “No. At least, I don’t think so.”

  I scowled, my stomach dipping with every passing second. “What’s that meant to mean?”

  “He fights,” she said slowly.

  “He was beaten up, right? That’s how he got his injuries? By who?”

  “I better let Josh explain himself,” she began, but I could see it in her eyes. She didn’t think he’d tell me the whole story, either. How was I meant to make things work between us if he couldn’t be honest with me?

  “He was pretty fucked up,” I hissed at her. “Broken ribs, fractured jaw, and broken arm. Fuck, his spine was compressed so much he was paralyzed, and he still kept his mouth shut. Who did this to him, Charlie? Why the fuck doesn’t he want to press charges?” What was so wrong with me that he didn’t want to trust me?

  Charlie’s phone began to beep.

  “You need to say something,” I exclaimed. “I need to know what’s going on.”

  Ignoring me, she pulled the car over into a loading bay and checked her phone. I wanted to punch the living daylights out of her.

  “Charlie.”

  “It’s my boyfriend,” she explained. “He’s a fighter, too.”

  “Too?”

  “Josh and Kane, they fight at this place called The Underground. Cage fighting.”

  “Cage fighting?” My eyes widened. It was a brutal, bloody sport and explained a great deal. The cuts and bruises he’d been shrugging off as
accidents at the gym, why he didn’t seem to have a job, how he ended up in hospital.

  “Josh has been fighting there…”

  “At this Underground place?”

  “Yeah.” She read the text, and her expression tightened. “Dammit,” she cursed and went to turn the screen off, but I’d already leaned over and caught sight of one word that sent a chill down my spine. Josh.

  “He can’t fight, Charlie. If he gets hit the wrong way…”

  “You already said and I’m sorry.” She glanced at me, her expression full of regret. “I didn’t know. He didn’t say anything.”

  “Is he there now?” I asked.

  “I’ll handle it,” she replied, pulling the car back out onto the road. “I’ll drop you home.”

  “No fucking way,” I exclaimed. “Take me there now.”

  “I don’t think you understand, Holly. It’s not a nice place. They’re not nice people, and they have eyes on Josh. If they know about you and he threatens them…”

  Then I was in big shit. I was pretty much in it already. Stalked by a creepy unknown guy with a penchant for white lilies. I was lied to by the man I was falling for, and I was pretty much the least trusted person in his books, too. But if Josh fought…it could send him straight back into that hospital bed, never mind the alleged threats from the bosses at this Underground place.

  “You’ll fucking take me there,” I demanded. “If he fights and gets hit the wrong way, he could put himself into a wheelchair. Permanently. Who’s going to get that through his thick head other than me?”

  “You’re going to give him an ultimatum?”

  “If it’s like you say, then he’s got to get out of that place and never go back. I don’t know how else to make him see reason.”

  Charlie hesitated and thought for a moment, then sighed sharply. Wrenching the wheel around, I held on for dear life as she did an abrupt U-turn, making the tires squeal on the tram tracks as we swerved over them.

  “You better stick with me,” she commanded as car horns honked at us. “I’ll have your back. That place is full of sharks, and one look at a wallflower like you, and they’ll want to take a bite.”

  I felt vomit begin to accumulate in the back of my throat. “Got it.”

  I had to believe Josh wanted me more than anything. He’d put up with a lot of shit and was still hanging on, so I had to take it and gamble. Me or the fight. He couldn’t have both. With me, he had a future. With fighting, he had nothing but a one-way ticket to a wheelchair.

  I hoped I was right about how he felt because if I wasn’t, I’d lose him forever.

  21

  Josh

  The Underground was fast becoming my regular place again.

  I didn’t come as often as I used to before my stint in hospital, but I still came. It had become a habit now more than anything. Sparks was working—or in this case, hanging out with Charlie—and I went to fight.

  As promised, I’d hooked the two women up so Charlie could help her with her flower problem. Just the thought of some douche trying to take my Sparks from me had my blood boiling. Anger equaled fighting, so I left them to talk it out while I beat on some poor dude in the cage.

  Pulling off my T-shit, I stashed it in my bag, perched on the edge of the bench, and began wrapping my hands. I had one fight tonight, and if I won, I’d net about ten grand. That had to amount to an hour of Sparks’s wage, right? I wasn’t sure how much she earned, but it had to be a couple of hundred grand, right? Well above minimum wage for a no-hoper like me.

  “Steel.”

  Glancing up, I saw it was Rebel, the current reigning king of The Underground, Charlie’s man, and yet another asshole I wasn’t good enough to live up to. Built like a ton of bricks—he could hit like them, too—a severe crew cut and a mean look topped him off.

  “What do you want?” I asked, rolling my eyes. “If you want to slum it in the mid-lists, you can just fuck off.” He was lucky the change rooms were mostly empty, or I would’ve taken a bigger bite.

  “Charlie’s worried about you, mate,” he said, ignoring my attitude.

  “Good for her.” I went on wrapping my left hand, fastening the Velcro around my wrist.

  “Why do you keep coming back here?” he asked, leaning against the wall. “Fuck knows you have enough anger in you to do something stupid.”

  “I know what I’m risking,” I hissed at him. “I don’t need the likes of you to remind me.”

  I’d had enough threats to last a lifetime. Max had already laid the hard word on me, security was watching my ass, and so were the punters. One slip and I’d be back in that hospital…if I didn’t put myself there first. I was a teetering liability. One step in the wrong direction and I was toast.

  He raised his eyebrow, kept his mouth shut, and looked at his phone. “Well, you better think about what you’re doing pretty fast.”

  “What’s that meant to mean?” I asked, rising to my feet. Anger was boiling through my veins, and if it weren’t for the sight of Charlie walking through the doors into the change rooms followed by Sparks, I would’ve thumped him one.

  “What did you do?” I hissed, shoving him to the side.

  He held up his hands. “Wasn’t me.”

  I scowled at Charlie, who just glared right back in warning. Holly followed her in, visibly shaking. Was it intimidation or anger? Seeing her at The Underground was surreal. She didn’t fit at all. She needed to leave before people realized who she was to me.

  “Sparks,” I hissed, my skin crawling. “You shouldn’t be here.”

  She ignored me, her gaze full of fire. She just strode right up and slapped me in the face. Her palm connected with my cheek with a crack that echoed through the room. It hardly moved my face, but I felt the power behind her strike. She was pissed…big time. Of course she was. I’d lied to her about this place and everything to do with it.

  People turned to stare as my hand rose to cover the spot she’d struck.

  “Asshole,” she exclaimed.

  “Sparks—”

  “Why would you even consider coming back to a place that left you to rot outside of a hospital?”

  “Did she tell you?” I asked, jabbing a finger at Charlie, who stood with Rebel, her arms crossed over her chest.

  “No, but it wasn’t hard to put the pieces together.” Holly stood there, beautiful and angry, the exact definition of Sparks. “Why, Josh?”

  “Because it’s the only place I belong,” I snapped.

  Her mouth fell open. “The only place you belong is with the people who put you in hospital? Are you even listening to yourself right now?”

  “I’m not like you, Holly,” I said, grabbing her arm and pulling her into a quiet corner. “I have nothing.”

  “You have nothing?” she asked, her bottom lip quivering. “Then what am I? A fucking idiot?”

  I narrowed my eyes, grinding my teeth together.

  “What is wrong with you?” she exclaimed. “Don’t you realize what you’re risking?”

  She’d made it pretty fucking clear. My legs and her heart. Two pretty big things that I wasn’t sure I wanted or deserved.

  “Too much is wrong with me,” I hissed.

  “Isn’t my love enough?” She shook her head, bitter disappointment etched on her pretty face.

  My expression crumpled as my heart constricted. I didn’t realize exactly how much she had come to mean to me until that moment. It smacked into my body with more force than another fighter’s body slamming into mine inside that cage.

  What was I giving up by fighting here? Maybe it was more than just the use of my legs.

  I glanced across the change rooms where fighters were getting ready for their bouts—and at Charlie and Rebel, who were trying not to stare at our exchange—indecision driving me to hesitate a moment too long.

  “Fine,” Sparks said, her beautiful eyes brimming with tears. “I get it.” She began to back away. “You were never one hundred percent truthful with me from the b
eginning, anyway.”

  “Neither were you.”

  She scoffed and gestured to the warehouse. “Like this is any comparison to a bad relationship.”

  When I didn’t reply, she spun on her heel and walked away. All I did was stand there and stare after her like an idiot. I thought about all the women I’d been out with over the last few years—the one-nighters and the one-monthers—and realized I’d never felt anything for them. It’d been fine and all, but I hadn’t cared to continue or build anything with them. Not like Sparks. Despite all my insecurities, I still didn’t want to see her walk away from me.

  I knew I had a good thing. She was settling for me, and after seeing all of this—this fucking shithole—she still stuck around to fight for me. What had I done to repay her? Lie about my entire life and let her walk away.

  Striding forward, I grabbed my bag, pushed past Charlie and Rebel, and went out into the warehouse. I shoved through the crowd looking for her, but she was fast…just like the spark and boom that went with a lit firecracker. Ignoring the protests and name callers around me, I carved a path through The Underground, trying to find the red hair that distinguished my Sparks from the scourge of humanity.

  Shoving through another wall of people coming in from outside, I paused and let my gaze rake the entrance. She couldn’t have gotten that far… Just when I was about to lose hope, I saw a flash of red hair I’d recognize anywhere.

  “Sparks,” I exclaimed, darting forward and grabbing her arm. Wrenching her around, she smacked into my bare chest, her palm coming to rest over my heart.

  “Don’t,” she practically wailed. “Don’t come after me if you don’t mean it. I can’t handle another broken heart. You’re already smashing it. Just let me go.”

  “No,” I snarled.

  “You said…” She swallowed hard, her honey eyes locked to mine. “You said that I didn’t matter.”

  “You mattered the moment I woke up in that stupid fucking hospital,” I hissed, aware that people were beginning to stop and watch our argument.