Secondhand Heart

by Amity Lassiter

  She watched him with clear, bright eyes and color high in her cheeks. Excitement, desire…the things he felt mirrored in himself. He dropped down onto his hands and pressed his mouth to the spot where her last rib met her sternum and she drove her fingers into his hair, curling and tugging as her back arched up into his touch.

  He shifted upward and closed his lips around her nipple, drawing her into his mouth, pulling a high pitched little whimper out of her.

  "Finn!" His name rolled off her lips in a breathy plea. He wanted to touch everything, taste everything, but the way her hips pressed up into his when he drew hard nearly pushed him straight over the edge. He pinned her to the bed with his body, taking his time with one breast, then the other, sliding his hands under her shoulders and lifting her to his mouth to feast on her soft skin.

  He hummed against her flesh when she tugged at his hair. "Say the word and I'll stop."

  "Don't stop," she panted.

  Shit. He stopped, despite her command, pressing his face against her rib cage and trying to temper his breathing. It didn't deter her; she struggled for a second, but managed to turn him onto his back, shifting herself to straddle him. She bumped the heat at the apex of her thighs against his arousal and his jaw tightened, barely able to resist the urge to shred the fabric between them and sink into her wetness.

  "Lily…Lily…I don't have any condoms." He swallowed. He hated to kill the mood, but they'd already gone farther than he'd imagined and he'd be lost completely if he didn't at least tap the brakes. Sunny had always been on birth control and since he wasn't a roving Casanova, there was no need for him to keep them on hand. He slid his hands over her hips to still her. "I'm sorry."

  She looked like she was considering her options for just a second before a smile shadowed over her features. "Quit apologizing. Nobody says we can't have a little fun anyways."

  His questioning expression prompted her to shift off of him, angling her body on her knees beside him with her head pointing toward his feet, and took hold of the towel with both hands. He breathed a prayer for control.

  "What are you doing?" he ground out.

  "I'm going to make you feel good."

  Lord have mercy. He dropped his head back against the pillow as she loosened the knot in the towel, the generous globes of her breasts brushing against his erection as she did so. Ultra-sensitive, he jerked a little every time she made contact, and when she drew him in, he thought he might stroke out. Tipping his head up, he watched as he disappeared into her mouth and let out a shuddering moan. He was sure as hell out of practice with a partner. Touching himself out of necessity was an entirely different thing than watching her pretty little mouth slide over his erection.

  His fingers formed into fists as a new wave of pleasure washed over him, desperate to hold on longer than a 15 year old boy his first time, when his vision widened enough to catch sight of her hips wiggling temptingly beside him. Before he knew what he was doing, he slid his fingers up the inside of her creamy thigh, tapping twice. His message was clear, because she shifted her knees wider, opening to him. The heady combination of this view and the feel of her mouth on him felt almost surreal. He moved his fingers up, tickling them over the crotch of the panties before he snagged the waistband, tugging it down to expose her. Her own invitation was obvious when she pushed her hips back, and he brushed his fingertips over her twice before he slipped them into her. She jerked forward for just a second, her rumbling moan vibrating through him when she didn't pull her mouth away, and then pressed back again.

  *

  Lily tried her best to focus, but the way Finn cupped her between her legs and the slow, steady movement of his fingers made her rhythm disjointed. She shifted again, widening her legs and bracing her elbows against the bed, draping herself over him as she swirled her tongue over his head. Pressure built inside of her as she slid her hand over his hardness, trying to focus, but she could hardly keep her train of thought straight, never mind her brain giving her body the correct signals to continue with her task.

  It had been too long since anyone had bothered to take this kind of time to bring her along for the ride, and she pressed on, out of appreciation, using her hand and her mouth to mimic the way he played her body. Too soon, she felt his abs tighten under her forearm and a curse came out of him at the same time he drove his fingers deep, pushing her forward, off of him, her hand gliding down as she felt a hot splash against her chest.

  Pleasure washed over her as she fell forward, her cheek against the soft skin of his thigh while he mercilessly pushed her toward the peak of her own orgasm. And quickly, she came, hard, her breath hiccupping through her, his name tumbling off her lips. He pushed her high further, stroking her inside and out as he drew out the crashing ecstasy until her body bucked and jerked, begging to come down. She was sure they could hear her keening cries in the big house, and she turned her face against his skin, hoping to muffle her noise. Her whole body vibrated with the intensity of the sensation washing through her until finally, gently, he let her down, sliding his palm over her exposed rear and giving it a playful tap. She slumped forward, sucking in great, heaving breaths.

  After he'd drawn her back up to the head of the bed, Finn slipped out of the room and came back with a washcloth moments later to clean them up, then slid in beside her and held her against his chest, still rising and falling with his ragged breaths. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, then her eyelids, and then found her mouth, his fingers tracing a light pattern over her bare arm. Shifting, he drew the blanket up over them and squeezed her tight against his chest, like he intended to stay.

  "Mmm," she murmured, pressing her cheek against his chest. She could hear his heart still beating wildly and it made her smile because hers raced to match. "Are you staying?"

  "Like hell I'm getting up again," Finn replied, a laugh rumbling through his chest. "As if I could."

  Her own jello-like legs could appreciate his inability to get out of the bed and she laughed, shaking her head.

  "You are one incredible woman, Lily Jacobs."

  She smiled, savoring the moment a bit longer before she replied, in her best attempt at flippancy. "Oh don't get down on your knees and say something you regret just because I got down on mine."

  The truth was, when he showed her everything he had to offer; his kindness, humor, and attentiveness; his good heart and his sense of family, she wanted more than to just blur the line between business and pleasure. She straight up wanted this man.

  —THIRTY—

  It was the sun that woke Lily this time, and she stretched and yawned like a cat in the beam filtering in through her window. It took her a moment to open her eyes and realize the other side of the bed was empty, and to process that she didn't know how to feel about it. Or the night before.

  She could have blamed it on the alcohol she'd consumed with Emma the night before, giggling and gossiping like they were teenagers again. But it was more than that. It was taking something she wanted, something she'd been thinking about for days now, something she was relatively sure he wanted, too. She'd never had a partner who accepted her desire to take the lead, never mind encouraged her like Finn had the night before, attending to her needs as thoroughly as he had.

  Embarrassment washed over her, chasing out any leftover traces of pleasure that had been floating around her bloodstream. She'd been brazen, bolder than she had ever been. And now she had to share this tiny space with a man she barely knew, but also knew quite intimately.

  The longer she thought about it, the worse it was going to get, so she dragged herself into a sitting position and found her discarded t-shirt, tugging it on over her head and pulling her hair off her neck and into a halfhearted low ponytail.

  Steeling herself with a deep breath, she turned the doorknob as quietly as she could, poking her head into the hall to check if the coast was clear. Finn stood at the stove with his back to her…whistling. Like every guy-who-just-got-some cliché. She pressed her lips together and took
the quietest step she could into the hall; only to find the only damn squeaky floorboard in the whole cabin. Finn whipped around, spatula still in hand. Damnit.

  There was no place to hide. Wasn't he supposed to be riding horses today or something, like every other day?

  To her relief, he smiled that slow twist of a half-smile that hit her right in her heart every single time, and while she still had a whole herd of butterflies beating around in her chest, she let out a slow breath. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

  "'Morning," he said, giving her a quick once-over; but not quick enough she didn't notice. Her cheeks burned, but so did the memory of his hands making that same journey.

  "I'm just…shower." She gestured loosely behind her.

  "Right. Quick though. French toast in about fifteen minutes. And bacon."

  "Okay." Had the world turned upside down? Shaking her head, she closed herself in the bathroom gratefully. Exactly thirteen minutes later, she emerged wrapped in a towel and managed to slip into the bedroom again without being detected and dressed quickly, because what he was cooking up smelled amazing and her stomach was growling. She still wasn't sure what time it was, but she'd definitely slept longer and better than she had in some time.

  When she emerged, wrapping her big messy cardigan sweater around herself, he was setting the table. Like they were playing house. Exactly what he'd insisted they weren't doing at the beginning. He set a steaming mug of coffee on the table and gestured. It was the same handmade ceramic mug she'd been photographing when he'd caught her wearing barely a thing; the place where this had all started, really. The humor wasn't lost on her. She sat, smiling up at him.

  "Thanks. What time is it?"

  Finn leaned back, glancing behind him to check the clock on the stove. "Nine."

  "Shouldn't you be up to your eyeballs in horses right now?"

  He chuckled, setting two plates in the middle of the table. One was loaded with a half a loaf of bread's worth of French toast, and the other held what had to be a full pound of bacon. Okay, so she'd worked up an appetite, but…

  "The advantage of having everyone living on the same property is when one guy needs a little time off, the other guys can pick up the slack."

  "Right," she murmured, forking a couple of pieces each of the French toast and bacon onto her plate. Finn heaped his high and smothered the whole thing in syrup. Watching him eat, she'd never imagine how he kept as trim a figure as he had; except she also saw how many hours he put in on the ranch on a typical day. She worked damn hard to avoid her round hips getting any rounder, but he didn't seem to care at all as he cut off big chunks of bread with the side of his fork and shoved them in his mouth.

  "Hey, how'd your girls' night with Emma go, anyway?"

  "Good. We grabbed dinner at Hinkley's and then came back and watched movies til Noah came home."

  "Did you talk about me?"

  She was pretty sure, judging by the twinkle in his eye that he was only half serious. The truth was simple; they hadn't. Emma wasn't the type of girl who just let unfinished business lie, even when it wasn't her business to finish; thus Lily's quick turnover from Denver to Three Rivers. And this definitely wasn't Emma's business to finish. Lily barely believed it was hers.

  But she could let him squirm a bit. Because as Emma's brother-in-law, she had no doubt he knew that truth about her, too. She smiled, tipping her head as she lazily took another sip of coffee, then shrugged innocently. "Maybe. But I'll never tell."

  —THIRTY-ONE—

  "You need anything in town?" Finn asked, gathering up their plates when Lily finished. He dropped them in the sink; he'd come back to them later.

  He'd drug his feet long enough, he'd never hear the end of it from Noah if he didn't soon hit the ground. The half dozen times he'd needed his brothers to cover for him on the ranch, he still usually got moving by 7 or 8, but it was pushing 10 now. He just couldn't talk himself into leaving her.

  Last night had exceeded any expectations he could have ever had, and exposed a whole new layer of Lily to him—physically and emotionally. Afterward, he'd slept better than he had in years. With her warm body wrapped around him and pleasure still thrumming through his veins, he hadn't moved all night and neither had she. He figured it was about the closest thing to peace he'd had since she arrived.

  "Nope."

  She pushed her chair out and got up, stretching her arms over her head enough that she exposed a little slice of skin at the top of her jeans, immediately bringing to mind that little tattoo he'd caught a glimpse of the night before, and what her body tasted like under his tongue. God help me. If he didn't get moving soon, he'd be sunk for the day.

  He was almost relieved when he heard steps on the porch—if anything could talk him out of kissing her breathless, it was Noah's presence.

  Sure enough, his brother pulled the door open, Emma hot on his heels.

  "I was about to call search and rescue," Noah boomed. Emma shook her head and rolled her eyes, heading for the coffee maker. His brother stopped up, raising a brow at the syrup and utensils still on the table. His gaze shifted to Finn, questioning. Clearing his throat, he looked away—the only safe person being Emma. Maybe. Who the hell knew what she and Lily had talked about the night before.

  Noah had turned his gaze to Lily, who busied herself filling the sink with hot water and dish soap to clean up after breakfast and wasn't giving him any answers.

  "You wanna get going?"

  "Yeah…daylight's wasting."

  "Yeah, yeah. This is one morning off in like, what? A thousand? You didn't want to make the drive to Reicher's."

  Noah rolled his eyes in response, crossing the floor to hook his arm around his wife's waist and tug her to him for a quick kiss. She squealed, nearly sloshing coffee all over Finn's floor, and then laughed. It was hard not to be a little envious of the free, casual affection they showed one another. Finn knew he had to protect the little spark he was fostering with Lily, particularly based on her response when they'd talked about the rumor mill in Three Rivers. There were still a few people who, given the opportunity, would gladly shred on Finn's choices when Sunny had been sick, and he wasn't ready to turn their not-so-quiet disapproval on the new interest in his life, especially when he was still coming to grips with what it all meant.

  Still, it would have been nice to cross the floor and kiss Lily goodbye, but there wouldn't be an opportunity. Later, he told himself, willing her to turn from the sink and meet his gaze. She did, and a quick smile crinkled the corners of her eyes and tipped her lips up.

  Noah shook him from his thoughts with a short whistle from the door. "Come on."

  "Alright, keep your panties on," he frowned, following his brother out onto the porch.

  *

  "Where are they off to in such a hurry?" Lily asked, shaking her head as she wiped her hands on one of Finn's brightly colored dishtowels. She heard a truck engine roar to life and watched as Finn's pickup pulled away from the yard.

  "Liquor store." Emma had been rummaging in the fridge, and she straightened, emerging with the cream Lily had just put away. "Annual celebratory bonfire when the last load of Reicher horses go home."

  "Oh, I thought they still had a couple."

  Emma nodded toward the table, crossing the floor with her cup of coffee. Lily could hardly sit still, but she sat with her friend, her half-full coffee still sitting on the tabletop. She could have used a few spare minutes to gather herself before she was forced to socialize, but she'd have to make do.

  "They do have a couple fillies, but they need a bit more time to grow up, so they might work 'em, they might not." Emma shrugged. "Finn'll finish up his roster of clients, and so will we, and the winter will be pretty quiet. Then the crazy starts all over again in the spring. Calves, colts, crops."

  Lily leaned back in her chair, cupping her mug between her hands, searching Emma's face. She counted as part of Finn's clientele, was she suggesting they'd be done with Encore soon? And then she'd m
ove along. Her heart was near to bursting with feelings and thoughts she couldn't piece together or make sense of. She hadn't come here expecting to fall for this surprisingly soft-hearted man, but here she'd gone and bared her soul, pinning her heart to her sleeve.

  She'd slept sound and free of nightmares with his warm arms around her, his warm breath tickling her neck, his calloused fingertips resting oh-so-lightly on the sensitive skin of her belly. Casual, and comfortable, like they belonged there. A warm throb of desire washed through her at the thought of what they'd done the night before. She made a mental note to hit the pharmacy at her earliest convenience, then turned to her friend, considering her next words.

  "Can I ask you something, Em?"

  "Hmm?" Emma glanced up from her coffee.

  "This doesn't leave this room."

  "Of course." Clearly interested, Emma set her mug down and leaned forward.

  "Do you think Finn is ready to date?"

  Emma's eyebrows raised and her mouth formed an o as she sat back in her seat, busying her hands with her mug. It was unusual for her brash, animated friend to be silent, especially when it came to the Baylor brothers.

  "I mean, has he dated since his wife died?" Lily pressed. She'd ripped the band aid clear off the wound, so digging around wasn't as painful as she'd expected. He'd given her no reason not to believe he was ready to date—he'd been the one to initiate it, after all

  Emma released a long breath. "Well, yes. I think the last one was a couple years ago. He took a couple girls to dinner a couple times but I think that's about all that ever transpired. Are you thinking about…?"

  "I really mean it, Em, nothing leaves here. Not even to Noah."

  "Scout's honor." Lifting two fingers, her friend nodded, but a playful spark of trouble was evident in her eyes.

  Lily narrowed her gaze across the table. Emma might never tell her secrets, but that didn't mean she wouldn't intervene where she thought she might be helpful. "Forget it."