Loved

by Rebekah Dodson

  “Elaine,” I stopped her, “let’s not bring that up, okay?”

  I expected her to temper to flare – she would glare at me and throw water in my face, slap me like she had Cam earlier, or something to that effect. Instead, she surprised me. Her face softened and she went back to eating.

  The silent treatment wasn’t working for me, however, so I asked her about her job.

  Big mistake.

  Her face darkened again. “I don’t want to talk about the hospital right now.”

  “Why?” I wanted to kick myself under the table. The look on her face told me to drop it, so I did.

  She poured herself another glass of champagne and knocked the entire thing back. Pushing away her empty plate, she leaned forward.

  It was really, really, really, really hard not to focus on the fact her dress was way too small around the top. I forced myself to meet her eyes with every single cell in my body. I succeeded, mostly.

  “Let’s get out of here.”

  “Ex—Ellie, what?”

  She stood and held her hand out to me this time. I took her hand and stood.

  Before I knew what was happening, she grabbed the lapels of my tux and yanked me toward her. I was only a few inches taller than her, but I was so surprised she caught me off guard and I let her.

  Our lips collided like they did last night, only this time, I couldn’t get enough of her. I slipped my hand down the back of her dress and captured her mouth as her arms clasped behind my neck. She let me pry her lips open and I slipped my tongue softly along the palate of the roof of her mouth, tasting the sweetness of the champagne on her lips.

  Fuck, she was turning me on for the first time in years. Did she have any idea she was playing with fire?

  “Not here,” I murmured, partially aware that I was, in fact, in the middle of a wedding party that I still had to prepare for tomorrow. My fingers played against the zipper on the side of her dress. I knew then if I didn’t get her somewhere else, stat, it would get real embarrassing for both of us.

  “Your room or mine?” she whispered against me, her hands rubbing the back of my neck.

  “Mine,” I nearly growled.

  The only reason we parted was because I was keenly aware that the clatter and noise in the dining room had gone oddly silent. We turned to see most of the occupants staring at us, with Savannah and Christina, their hands full with stacks of dirty dishes, at the forefront. Christina sat her plates down and began to clap.

  “Oh god,” Ellie whimpered. “Did they just...”

  “See everything?” I smiled. “Yup.”

  “Let’s get out of here,” she sideways whispered.

  “Never thought you’d ask.”

  Chapter 11

  Matt

  IT'S WEIRD HOW HER scent came back to me after all these years since she left me. It was a cheap bottle of champagne we shared our first night in the house we bought; it was the honeyed scent of her hair pressed against my chest; but most of all it was the delicate, sweet apple blossoms, like the tree that grew in our front yard. All the memories we made, and wanted to make, so many she ended too soon. And the many more I'd like to make if she'd have me back.

  And as I peeled her out of her dress a few minutes after getting her into my cabin, those familiar scents wrapped around me and I felt heady and punch-drunk with love for her.

  Had I ever really stopped loving Ellie?

  Shuri hadn’t thought so. She always told me I’d have a special place in my heart for my first.

  She was right.

  “God,” I breathed, when Ellie stood before me, clothed in just her bra and panties. Her breasts and stomach were fuller than I remembered, and her thighs bigger around, and her ass ... definitely an improvement. It was exciting me in ways I never knew were possible; that, and the fact that I hadn’t seen a naked woman in over three years.

  “Matt,” she breathed my name as she approached me and slid my jacket off my shoulders. “You’ve never looked at me ...”

  “Believe me, I’ve been doing a lot of looking today. Like, a lot.”

  Her fingers trembled slightly as she undid my tux bow and moved to the buttons on my shirt. “I know,” she said, “I saw you.”

  “I had it on good advice to avoid you,” I murmured. Her hand slid in my shirt and that, too, joined my expensive as hell jacket on the wood floor. I kissed her. I couldn’t help it. I wanted to taste her, every inch of her. What was she doing to me? I haven’t had a drink in over five years, but Ellie was like a drug, flowing through my veins and threatening to stop my heart.

  But it still beat, and faster even still when she reached for my belt buckle and the buttons on my pants.

  “Do you still want to avoid me?” She peered at me innocently under long lashes when I pulled away for air.

  “N-no,” I told her. I was already panting with want for her. When my pants came off, so did the rest of her clothes.

  Fully naked now, I gripped her around the waist and picked her up, and her legs wrapped around me.

  “Where are you taking me?”

  “To the bedroom?” It was a question I waited for her to approve.

  She reached up and kissed me. “Will we make it that far?”

  Breathless, I told her, “Now I’m not sure.”

  Somehow, we did make it to my bedroom. I laid her out and took her in again. She was more beautiful than I had ever imagined.

  I froze as something very important occurred to me.

  “Please tell me you have protection?”

  She shook her head. “I’m on the pill.”

  “You are?” Why would she need? Unless she was .... Oh. Of course she was. My ex-wife was too damn sexy to be celibate like I had been up until right now.

  “Ellie,” I breathed her name, “do you know how utterly gorgeous you are?”

  She gasped at that, and her eyes were glossy. I thought she might cry, so I took her leg and kissed up the inside of it. “Well, do you?” I asked again.

  “No...” she trailed off with a moan as I buried my lips against her soft mound. She was still so sweet and delicate. I’d always been able to get her ready quicker than anyone I had ever been with. When I finished with her, she was begging for more.

  Music to my ears.

  I was much obliged.

  But, Ellie had other ideas. Before I could move up her body, she shifted to a sitting position, and patted the bed. “Not today, mister.”

  Mister. That was her sexy bedroom name for me, when we were married. She remembered. Her eyes glinted mischievously, so I humored her and laid down.

  To my surprise, she slid her body easily over mine, giving me full view of her sexy front. Her breasts dangled freely in front of me as she mounted my waiting member. She allowed me entrance and we fit like a glove, as we always did.

  Her hips rocked softly against mine, and every movement was utter bliss.

  “I-I don’t know how long I’ll last,” I blurted. “It’s been a while...”

  She leaned over me and kissed me. “Then take me,” she murmured against my lips.

  I rolled her onto her back and straddled her this time, and when our hips met it was my turn to let a moan escape my lips. “Oh, God, Ellie, how I missed you.”

  “I missed you, too.”

  As soon as she said it, her back arched, and her breathing sped up. I knew she was close, and so was I. How could I prolong this when she writhed under me? God help me, I couldn’t.

  Something inside me told me I couldn’t be that guy, the one that waited for his ex and then finished in two seconds. No, she meant so much more to me than that.

  I tried to hold back, to please her, so I slowed my pace. I wanted her to know this wasn’t a quick screw for me, but I wanted to treasure her, to make her feel alive. She’d been through so much and this was my opportunity to show her a little sliver of happiness. I wanted her to be happy above all else.

  Her back arched and she begged for more, but I refused. I worshiped
her as I slowly made love to her, trailing kisses down her neck and collarbone, then up across her chin. I teased her lips with a quick graze of my own, then kissed her cheek and up to her hairline. Her arms gripped my neck like she did in the dining room, but this time her fingers laced, and she pulled me toward her. Capturing her mouth, I played my tongue against her lips until she allowed me entry. She blew a moan into my mouth and pleaded for more.

  Finally, I couldn’t resist her pleas, so I picked up speed, rocking against her quick and fast. She moaned louder and called my name, and I knew I was a goner.

  Hearing her my name from her lips was hot enough that I found myself rising with her. I held her as she shuddered against me while I found my own release buried deep inside her.

  When it was over, I collapsed beside her, and she rolled to look at me. Her hand found my cheek and she caressed it softly. She kissed me again, this time peppering my lips with smaller, quicker kisses.

  “I’m sorry it was so quick,” I apologized. “Next time I promise...”

  “Shh,” she whispered and just pulled her body closer to mine. I wrapped my arms around her and held her as her head pressed into my shoulder.

  I pushed her hair away from her face as our breathing finally evened. I couldn’t see her, but her sweet apple blossom scent, combined with the heady deed of what we had just done, filled the room. “I love you, Elaine. I always have. I never stopped.”

  She didn’t answer.

  I could swear she sniffled away tears.

  Oh, God. She didn’t answer me.

  “Ellie?”

  Chapter 12

  Ellie

  “HEY, ELLIE, ARE YOU okay?”

  I couldn’t answer him. Stupid tears. Why was I even crying?

  Making love to Matt had been ... mind blowing. My heat still tingled with the remnants of the pleasure that had ripped through me and not only once. Good God, if it had been that good when we were married, leaving him would have been much harder. What happened in the years we were separated? He was like a god at this. No man had been able to make me come twice.

  No one except Matt, until now.

  “Mm-hmm,” I mumbled. I wiped my eyes. I had never cried after sex. I was flushed and panting. “I have to leave tomorrow.” Why did I blurt that? I could have just slept over and snuck out in the morning. Damn it, Ellie, why don’t you think before you speak!

  I felt his mouth drop open. “But I thought you had two more days here?”

  “I know, but work...”

  He sighed heavily, cutting me off. “Cam gave you back her phone, didn’t she?” He didn’t wait for me to protest. “Yeah, that’s it. She gave you back your phone and that’s why you were late to dinner yesterday.” He sighed and pushed me gently off his chest. “That’s it, isn’t it? It’s always been work with you, Elaine. Some things never change, I guess.”

  My anger boiled over so quickly I had no time to stop the spew of hurt feelings spilling over. “Me? You dare accuse me of working when you were the one that—”

  He got out of bed and reached in the dresser for a pair of boxers. Slipping them on, he stared at me. “I think you need to go.”

  “But...”

  He disappeared from the room and returned with my dress and undergarments. He rolled them into a ball and tossed them at me roughly.

  The tears streamed down my cheeks as I fumbled with stepping into my dress and zipping it. I didn’t have time to worry about my bra and underwear, so I tucked them into my purse.

  He watched me the entire time, which made this even worse.

  “You know what’s the worst about this?” he blurted.

  I just stared at him. I must have been a wreck: sex hair and running mascara and smeared lipstick. Hadn’t he just called me beautiful? What did he think of me now?

  “Just once, I wanted someone to choose me first.”

  I inhaled on a sob and shook as it spilled out of me. “Matt, I...” I reached for him. Maybe if I could touch him, we could—

  He stepped out of the way and pointed to the door. “Just go, Ellie. You’ve made it clear where your priorities are. Have always been. Work. You know, I was a fool to think you’d be any different now. You’re obviously the same.”

  My chest burned and I choked out another sob. He was so wrong. I had to go back to the city because it meant my livelihood, not because work was my obsession.

  Matt stared at me and shook his head. “You can’t even tell me I’m wrong, can you?”

  Stubborn, stupid man, he wouldn’t even let me explain myself. I felt like I was suffocating on how much he’d hurt me that I didn’t even bother to defend myself. Not that I could through all my blubbering.

  I pushed passed him and into the living room. I didn’t bother slipping on my shoes, just tucked them in my purse when I reached the foyer.

  “That’s right, run away, like you always do,” he called from the bedroom doorway. He turned back into the bedroom before I could argue.

  I froze with my hand on the doorknob, ready to fling the door open and flee as far as my feet would take me, when I heard a familiar buzzing sound.

  Next to the front door was a small table with a lamp. Frantically I searched around until I finally reached under the table and taped to the bottom of it was my phone.

  I didn’t look at it. I simply shoved it in my purse and ran back to the inn barefoot. The gravel cut into my feet, but I didn’t care.

  It was a small price to pay to get away from him.

  Again.

  I only prayed Cam had left the keys to the rental in our room. Earlier I’d seen her purse on the couch, so I assumed they were in there. A few patrons still milled around the dining room as I stalked past, just a few couples at a table playing cards. I skipped the elevator and took the stairs to the third floor and jammed my keycard in the room so hard I almost snapped it in two.

  Our room was empty, of course it was. I would be money Cam was canoodling with Liam on the second floor. But whatever, it was none of my business. I went right for her purse by the couch and dumped it out. No keys.

  Damn.

  I dragged my suitcase out and flung it open on the ground and shoved everything in. I didn’t care about folding, rolling, or packing. In went my sensible shoes and sensible jeans and sensible fall jackets and sweaters. Next I tossed in my curling iron and toiletries.

  And this dress.

  Why had I worn this dress? I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist me, and deep down, I knew I’d wanted it, too. And it had been great. But now it was over, and it was a mistake—

  “Looking for these?”

  I pushed my mop of hair out of my face to see Liam standing in the bedroom doorway, balancing on crutches with the rental car keys dangling from his fingertips.

  “What are you doing up? And Where did you find those?” I stalked toward him and snatched them into my hand. He looked me up and down, and I couldn’t even imagine what he was summarizing in his head about my current state.

  “Someone had to supervise the kitchen while you had dinner with my dad.”

  I ignored him. So what if this kid with a sprained ankle was hobbling around on crutches while we had a fancy enough dinner? It clearly didn’t end well.

  “And where’s Cam?” I demanded, not bothering for an answer as I turned back to my suitcase. “I have to tell her—”

  “That you’re sorry? That you’re leaving? Which one of those is more important?”

  His soft answer, and one I didn’t really expect, made me turn back around slowly.

  “Sorry for what?” I laughed, but it was mirthless. The chilly fall night air blew through the open window by the lounge, and I shivered in this thin dress. “That she dragged me up here to connect with my ex and then laugh at me when she’s the one who found love instead?” My voice was bitter, sarcastic. It almost shocked me how utterly cruel I sounded. What had Matt turned me into? When Liam didn’t answer me, I added, “What do you know, anyway? You’re just a kid!”
<
br />   He shrugged. “I may be only nineteen, but since I lost my mom and both my grandparents a few years ago, I think I know a thing or two more than you.”

  I blinked at him. It wasn’t rude, it was just ... true. I knew a thing or two as well, but he clearly had more experience than I. “And?”

  “And I’ve never seen my Dad so happy as he has been in the last twenty-four hours. I mean, like usually he just kinda stalks around here ordering people around. Do you know what he did this morning after yoga?”

  “What?”

  “He whistled. It was as damn Taylor Swift song, but still. I’ve never heard him whistle.”

  “So what? Everyone whistles.”

  “During lunch, you didn’t see the way he looked at you? The way he followed you around the room with his eyes, just like you were the only person he cared about? Jesus, I’m just a ‘kid’ like you said but even I can see what’s going on.”

  I lowered my eyes and sat heavily on the arm of the couch.

  “Look, lady, I barely know you.” He shifted on the crutches. “But what I do know is that you showing up here? That’s just what the doctor ordered for my dad. Since my mom died, every day he’s gotten just a little slower and a little grumpier. But he gave up drinking and he works hard to make this vineyard something my mom would be proud of. And honestly, I think you’d be good for him. Like my mom was, but even better.”

  I thought about that for a moment, but our argument just an hour ago was still very fresh in my mind. I briefly wondered what Matt was doing right now – probably sulking around his cabin like he always did after we fought. Ugh, screw him. Why did he think we could screw, and he could just kick me out – no, I left, I reminded myself, and he was right, that’s always what I did. I always ran. But what choice did I have?

  “Why don’t you try convincing him of that?” I slammed my suitcase shut and threw the car keys into my hand. “Tell Cam I’ll be back for her Monday night, and that work called. They need me.”

  With a defeated sigh, he moved out of the doorway and let me pass.

  I didn’t relish the idea of driving five hours back to Seattle in the middle of the night. It was closer to midnight than I wanted to admit. I’d get in at what, four a.m.? Ugh. What had happened to today? It had started off so good and suddenly went to shit all in the last hour.