Quid Pro Quo

by Sherryl Hancock

  Their lives got back to somewhat normal shortly after that. Kai even went with Finley to Natalia’s class, since she needed to talk to Dakota and see the progress on the gym space. When the two of them walked into the studio together, there were a lot of smiles and nods. Of course, everyone had long since heard about them being a couple, but it was the first time they’d arrived somewhere together. Natalia quickly called the class to order and beckoned Finley out onto the floor. Meanwhile the bois all grinned and nodded to Kai, who shook her head, suddenly realizing what it was like to be part of the group for real. She’d known that Remi, Wynter, Quinn, Xandy, Memphis, and Kieran had been rooting for her to get together with Finley, but she hadn’t realized how pleased everyone else was.

  As the class started, Kai found her attention drawn to Finley. Within minutes Kai was fascinated, watching her move.

  “How the hell did I ever miss her?” she asked Remington.

  “Too busy to pay close attention?” Remington suggested.

  Kai shook her head. “Now I know why you all love Natalia so much,” she said, grinning as she caught Finley’s eye.

  “She does make our girls look damned good,” Quinn put in.

  “I’m thinking I need to send Natalia flowers,” Kai said.

  “Trust me, we’ve all thought that a few times,” Jericho said from behind them.

  Kai chuckled.

  Later, on the way home, Kai looked over at Finley. She grinned. “You looked… um… damned good out there…”

  “Did I?”

  “Uh-huh,” Kai said, her look pointed.

  “I noticed you only got part of your workout in.”

  “Well, I was a bit distracted…”

  “So maybe we need to make sure you work out some more…” Finley said, letting her voice trail off seductively.

  “Sounds like a good idea.”

  “Is Cass spending the night over at Quinn and Xandy’s?”

  “I believe she is.”

  “Nice… that means we can be as noisy we want.”

  “Yes, it does…”

  Back at Kai’s house, Kai made dinner while Finley showered. After they ate, Kai took her turn. While Kai was in the bathroom, Finley lit candles in the bedroom. When Kai got out of the shower, she could smell the scent. She hadn’t washed her hair, because she hadn’t sweated enough to worry about it. After she dried off, she walked out to the bedroom and was pleasantly surprised to find Finley waiting for her on the bed, completely naked.

  “Well,” Kai said, smiling. “Is it my birthday and I forgot?” she asked, her dark eyes sparkling.

  “No, I just want you and don’t want to waste time with clothes…”

  Kai climbed onto the bed, leaning down to claim Finley’s lips with hers. She spent what seemed like hours kissing Finley, slowly and deliberately. Finley’s hands slid over Kai’s skin, pulling at her to bring her down to her body, but Kai didn’t move. She was taking her time, and Finley was beside herself with desire.

  Finally Kai lay down behind Finley, who was on her side. Finley started to turn over to face her, but Kai stopped her.

  “Stay right there,” Kai said against her ear.

  “What—” Finley began, but then Kai’s hands slid around her, touching both Finley’s nipples at the same time. She gasped.

  Kai began kissing Finley’s neck, her fingers fondling and exciting Finley more and more. She nipped at Finley’s skin, making her jump as anticipation shot through her.

  “Kai, please…”

  Kai slid her hand down to Finley’s waist, holding her close as she rolled onto her back so Finley lay on top of her, her back to Kai’s chest.

  “What are you—” Finley started, but Kai’s hands on her nipples again stayed her questions.

  She was further shocked when one of Kai’s hands moved down, hovering just above her pubic hair, and Finley was sure she was going to explode with the desire to have Kai touch her. She squirmed against Kai, pressing her body closer.

  Kai continued to suck and bite at Finley’s neck, while her hands continued their ministrations, never actually touching Finley where she really wanted it most.

  “Kai, please… please… I want you so much… please…”

  She was surprised but completely turned on when she felt Kai move her legs to hook her knees, spreading her legs with her own. Finley was sure she was going to explode—she was vibrating with desire. When Kai finally slid her fingers into her warm, moist heat, Finley began coming immediately.

  “Fuck me, Kai, please fuck me…” she groaned.

  Kai’s long fingers sliding inside her made her come again, screaming and rubbing herself against Kai so hard Kai came as well. Even after the first couple of times, Kai continued to touch Finley, making her come again and again. When Finley was exhausted, Kai rolled them both to their sides, snuggling against Finley’s back.

  “That’s how I wanted to top you,” Kai whispered against Finley’s neck.

  Finley sighed softly. “You can top me like that any time you want.”

  Kai grinned against Finley’s skin. “I love you,” she said, her voice almost a sigh.

  Finley turned over, looking up at her. “You do?” she asked, her tone wondrous.

  “I think I have since the hospital. I just didn’t say it because I thought it would freak you out.”

  Finley nodded. “It probably would have.”

  Kai nodded, leaning in to kiss Finley’s lips again, noting that Finley hadn’t returned the declaration and doing her best not to be hurt by that. She knew it was still early in their relationship and that Finley didn’t share her philosophy of everything happening for a reason.

  Kai honestly felt that Finley had been put into her life for a reason, and that they’d been meant for each other. She knew it was crazy, but she knew how she felt, and she was ready to settle into a life with Finley. There was always that stigma with lesbians that they moved quickly; the fact was, Kai hadn’t ever moved so quickly in her life, which was what made her feel that things were right with Finley.

  They kissed for a while and ended up falling asleep facing each other.

  The next morning Finley woke to find that Kai was already up. She glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was only five in the morning—the sun wasn’t even up yet. Knowing Kai was an early riser, Finley didn’t think much of it. She settled back into sleep for another hour. Waking up again, she pulled on a pair of sweats, a T-shirt, and one of Kai’s fleece jackets, and walked through the house looking for her. She was surprised when she spotted her sitting in the backyard, smoking. She hadn’t seen Kai smoke since that first night at The Club; she’d actually forgotten about it.

  Finley walked outside and slid her hands down Kai’s chest from behind, leaning down to kiss her neck softly. She then sat in the chair next to Kai’s, glancing over at her.

  “I’ve only seen you smoke once,” Finley said gently. She could see that Kai was tense.

  Kai blew out a long stream of smoke, her eyes narrowing behind the wisps curling around her head. “I don’t do it often.” She knew Finley was referring to that night at The Club.

  “So why are you smoking this morning?”

  Kai picked up her phone, put in the code to unlock it, and handed it to Finley. “Read it,” she said, her tone low.

  Finley found herself looking at an email from a Terra McGinnt:

  “As such that my daughter’s father is unwilling to care for her, I am sending for her and would appreciate your putting her on a plane to Atatürk International Airport as soon as possible. Marou has stated he will reimburse you for the cost of the ticket. Please email me at this address to give me the information as to the date and time of her arrival.”

  “Who the hell is she?” Finley asked.

  “Cass’s mother,” Kai said evenly as she took another long drag of the cigarette. “Scroll down, see where it started.”

  Finley scrolled down through the email chain. It had started with Marou Temple info
rming Terra McGinnt that Cassiana’s sister had requested to take over custody of Cassiana and that she should be aware that Kai was highly unsuitable as a parental figure as she led an alternative lifestyle that was in direct opposition to his personal beliefs. He’d gone on to offer to pay child support to Terra if she took over the care of their daughter.

  “That son of a bitch…” Finley muttered. “And of course she went for it, right? Because that’s what it’s about for her.”

  Kai nodded, her teeth clenched. “Like she’s a fucking piece of meat to be bargained over.”

  “Oh, Kai… I’m so sorry,” Finley said, setting the phone down and looking over at her.

  She couldn’t even fathom what was going through Kai’s head at that point. For her father to betray her that way and refer to her as “unsuitable” had to hurt deeply. On top of that, for her father and Cassiana’s mother to completely disregard Cassiana’s needs or desires in the matter was reprehensible at best.

  “What are you going to do?” Finley asked softly.

  Kai narrowed her eyes. “What can I do? I can’t let Cass down—I have to fight them.”

  Finley nodded, reaching out to touch Kai’s arm. “Are you okay?”

  Kai stared straight ahead, looking somewhat dazed. “I guess a lousy mother is better than a gay sister in Marou’s book,” she said, her tone barely belying the hurt she felt. “I’ll never be good enough for him,” she added, her expression pained. “I guess part of me always knew that—it’s just hard having it proven.”

  Finley was at a loss as to what to say. She knew there wasn’t much she could do.

  Later that morning, when Cassiana came back from Quinn and Xandy’s, Kai suggested they take the dogs to the beach. Cassiana could tell there was something wrong. Kai had the stereo on loud and turned up the song; it was “Good Enough,” with Jussie Smollett singing about trying to please a father who would never accept him because he was gay.

  The line “I try to show you that I’m strong, why do I even bother? ’Cause it’s the same old damn song, and you call yourself a father” resonated deeply with both women.

  At the beach, Kai let the boys run, throwing them balls and letting them wear themselves out. After a while, she leaned against the grill of the Navigator and lit a cigarette. Cassiana knew for sure then that there was a problem.

  “What is it, KaiMarou?” she asked, feeling stressed.

  Kai looked over at her, thinking how completely unfair life was sometimes. She blew her breath out, knowing she needed to tell Cassiana what was happening.

  “Our father saw fit to contact your mother to let her know about my asking for custody of you,” she began, and Cassiana knew instantly that this was going to be very bad.

  “Why?”

  Kai gave a short, humorless laugh. “Because I’m ‘unsuitable as a parental figure,’” she said, using air quotes.

  “Has he looked in a mirror lately?” Cassiana asked snidely.

  “Well, he’s not gay, so… Apparently that automatically makes someone more suitable than me,” Kai said, her tone almost a growl.

  Cassiana shook her head. “My mom doesn’t want me—it’s not going to matter.”

  “Oh, it matters,” Kai said bleakly. “Because Marou also offered to continue to pay her child support in the amount of two thousand dollars a month if she’ll take you back.”

  “What!” Cassiana exclaimed, paling significantly. “He can’t do that!”

  Kai’s lips curled in a derisive smile. “Sadly, yes, he can.”

  Cassiana looked back at Kai, her mouth hanging open, her eyes filling with tears.

  “I don’t want to live with her, Kai,” she said tearfully. “I want to live with you. Why don’t they care about that?”

  Kai grimaced. The fact was that neither of Cassiana’s parents cared what she wanted or what was best for her. Cassiana threw her arms around Kai, crying almost hysterically for a few minutes. Kai held her little sister, feeling like crap and wishing things were different.

  “I won’t go,” Cassiana said, shaking her head. “I’ll run away before I’ll go to her, Kai.”

  “You’re not running away,” Kai said, shaking her head. “I’m going to fight this.”

  “How?”

  “I’ve already called my lawyers and they’re going to get back to me with my options. I’m not giving you up without a fight, Cass, okay? As long as you still want to live with me…”

  “I do! You’re the only one that’s ever cared about me, Kai. My life is so much better here with you. I can’t live with her, or him… I can’t…”

  Kai nodded. “Okay, well, first I have to answer your mother. She wants me to put you on a plane like now.”

  Cassiana bit her lip, her eyes wide, then started to grin. “You know, I don’t know what I did with my passport. I think I lost it…”

  Kai started to grin. “Really? Well, damn. We’re going to have to apply for a replacement before I can send you to Turkey.”

  “Rats,” Cassiana said, grinning too.

  Kai pulled Cassiana into her arms, hugging her close and kissing the top of her head. “I love you, and I’m not letting you go so easy. They’re going to have to get a court order to force me.”

  Cassiana hugged Kai hard, so glad she’d found her sister and that she’d turned out to be such an awesome person.

  Later that day Kai’s lawyers came back with news that wasn’t so great. In essence Kai had no real claim to Cassiana for custody. They said that Kai could try to make a case for emotional abuse on the part of Cassiana’s mother, and also emotional abandonment from their father, but it wasn’t a sure thing. And it wouldn’t stop Terra McGinnt from insisting that Kai send Cassiana to her immediately. They also told her that if a lengthy custody battle ensued, Kai’s life would be examined closely for stability in Cassiana’s home life. The lawyer asked her if she was seeing someone. Kai said she was and that the woman was a doctor.

  “That would be perfect. Is she living with you?” the lawyer asked.

  “Uh, no. We’ve only been together about three months.”

  “Hmm… living with you would be better—then we can say that Cassiana has a stable home environment with two parental figures.”

  Kai told Finley this later that night when Finley got off work. Kai picked her up at the hospital, which had become habit whenever Finley was going to stay at the house versus her condo, which was almost every night. Kai didn’t want her wasting money on Uber; Finley found it endearing.

  “So they just want me to move in to make things look good?” Finley asked, thinking lawyers never bothered with the feelings involved, just making it look good.

  Kai grinned. “Well, yeah, that’s basically what they said… but…”

  “But what?”

  “Well, the fact is you’re here most nights now anyway…”

  “Yeah, but that’s different than moving in, Kai.”

  Kai gave her a look she didn’t understand. “How’s it different?”

  “Moving in is a big step,” Finley said, her tone indicating she didn’t understand why Kai didn’t know that.

  Drawing in a slow, deep breath, Kai nodded, suddenly wanting to get out of the conversation because it was headed into dangerous territory. She reached over and turned up the stereo. Linkin Park’s “Lost in the Echo” came on; the line “I can’t fall back, I came too far” struck a little painfully close to home.

  Kai shifted gears and flipped a U-turn in the middle of the next block. Finley knew before Kai stopped that she was taking her to her condo. She pulled up outside and sat stone-faced, waiting for Finley to get out of the car.

  “Kai, can’t we talk about this?” she asked, surprised by the sudden change in her.

  Kai stared straight ahead. “Not much to say, is there?”

  “But, Kai…”

  “This is better,” Kai said simply, not looking at Finley, her jaw jumping as she clenched her teeth.

  Finley stared at her, sudd
enly feeling a knot in her stomach. She knew she was seeing a side of Kai that she’d never seen before, and she knew without a doubt that no matter what she said at that moment, nothing would change the look on Kai’s face. Feeling tears stinging the backs of her eyes, Finley reached blindly for the door handle. She shut the door softly behind her, closing her eyes as she did. She knew she’d just lost Kai and instantly felt sick about it.

  She heard the car pull away from the curb. Shivering, she wrapped her arms around herself as she walked into her building. She held herself together long enough to get inside the condo, but immediately went to her room and lay down on her bed, allowing herself to cry then. Her pillows still smelled like Kai, from when she’d been sick, and that made her cry harder. Her heart was breaking and she knew it.

  Kai got out of her car, refusing to let herself think of Finley and what had just happened. She walked through the house, picking up her cigarettes from the box near the door, and went outside.

  Cassiana found her there two hours later. It was really cold out now that winter was setting in; Kai was sleeveless and didn’t seem to notice it.

  “Where’s Finley?” Cassiana asked cautiously.

  “Her place.”

  “Why?” Cassiana searched Kai’s face, seeing no emotion there whatsoever.

  Kai shook her head.

  “Did you two break up?” Cassiana asked, looking devastated by the thought.

  Kai shrugged, her glance at Cassiana noncommittal. “Are you going to Quinn and Xandy’s tonight?” she asked, her voice completely even.

  “I can hang out here if you want me to…” Cassiana said, still looking for some kind of sign of how Kai was feeling.

  Kai shook her head. “No point.” She lifted another cigarette to her mouth and lit it.

  Cassiana had never seen Kai like this, and had no idea what to do. She left the house a little while later, and when she got to Quinn and Xandy’s, she got Remington’s number from Quinn.

  “What’s goin’ on?” Quinn asked, seeing the worried look on Cassiana’s face.

  “Something’s wrong with Kai.”