The Pregnancy Affair

by Anne Mather

  ‘Liv—’ Once again, Joel tried to appeal to her. Swinging his legs out of bed, he got to his feet. ‘We were too young. I accept that now. Can’t you just meet me halfway?’

  ‘No!’ Olivia stared at him through suddenly tear-wet eyes. ‘Joel, I’ve told you this before, but I’ll tell you again. When I found out I was pregnant, I was frightened. Not of having the baby, but of what it might mean to us. You were twenty years old. OK, you were working at the farm, but I knew that wouldn’t satisfy you forever. I needed to get a job, a decent job, if only to support you. How was I going to be able to do that with a baby we couldn’t possibly afford?’

  ‘Liv—’ he tried again, but she wasn’t finished.

  ‘I didn’t want to lose you,’ she said painfully. ‘I’d seen how Linda and Martin had had to struggle when they got married. It nearly drove them apart. It wasn’t until Martin got that job at the garden centre that they could afford a home of their own.’

  ‘They managed,’ said Joel flatly.

  ‘Well, I didn’t want that for us. I didn’t want us having to live at the farm for years and years. I wanted us to be independent, too. To have a home of our own.’

  ‘So you decided to abort our baby.’

  ‘No!’ Olivia was desperate now. ‘All right, I did make an appointment at the clinic in Chevingham. I’ve never denied that. But when I got there I cancelled the appointment. When it came to the point, I couldn’t destroy something we’d made together. In love.’

  Joel reached for his jeans and started pulling them on. ‘I’ll take you home,’ he said flatly. ‘Your clothes should be dry by now. I put them in the dryer when I got the wine.’

  Olivia’s shoulders sagged. ‘You won’t listen to reason, will you?’

  ‘Oh, please.’ Joel regarded her with scorn in his eyes. ‘Your story is that you changed your mind and left the clinic without having the abortion—’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And that you had a miscarriage when you got home?’

  ‘You know it is.’

  ‘Bull,’ said Joel succinctly. ‘You didn’t cancel the appointment; you went through with it. And then, when you got home, you cooked up this story about having a miscarriage while there was nobody in the house but you.’

  ‘No!’

  ‘Yes, Olivia. How do you think I found out about the abortion in the first place?’ His face contorted. ‘You must have thought you were so safe: patient’s confidentiality and all that rubbish. You never thought that someone else might care enough to tell me I was being taken for a fool. I’ve never felt so shattered as I did that day, believe me.’

  ‘But who—?’

  ‘D’you think I’m going to tell you?’ Joel shook his head. ‘I’ll get your clothes,’ he said, making for the door. ‘And by the way, Sean’s going home tomorrow—or rather today. I was going to phone you and thank you for what you’ve done for him. But it looks like we’re all out of explanations, doesn’t it?’

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  THANKFULLY, Olivia had a key and when Joel dropped her off she could let herself into the house without waking anyone. But, as she started across the hall to the stairs, she thought she heard someone calling her name. It could only be her father, she thought, making a detour to his room. Pushing the door ajar, she put her head round it, and found Ben Foley propped up on his pillows, as wide awake as if it were the middle of the day.

  ‘Dad!’ she exclaimed, pausing a moment to check there was no suspicion of wetness on her cheeks. She sniffed, and moved further into the room. ‘What are you doing? You’re supposed to be asleep.’

  ‘I sleep a good part of the day,’ retorted the old man drily. ‘What about you? I thought you were spending the night at Joel’s.’

  ‘Linda told you that, I suppose,’ Olivia said tightly. ‘No. I fell asleep, that’s all. When I woke up, he brought me home.’

  ‘So why did he have to bring you home? Where’s your car?’

  ‘I left it at the beach.’ Olivia made a careless gesture. ‘I’d overdone it—running, I mean—and Joel drove me back.’

  ‘To his house.’

  ‘Yes, to his house.’

  ‘Is that why you’re looking so tearful now?’

  Olivia gasped, rubbing furiously at her eyes. ‘I’m not looking tearful.’

  ‘You’ve been crying,’ declared her father steadily. ‘You needn’t bother to deny it. When a woman’s eyes and nose are red, it’s a dead giveaway.’

  Olivia sniffed again. ‘Well, all right. I’ve been crying. It’s not a sin, is it?’

  ‘No.’ Ben Foley shook his head. ‘But I’d like to know what young Armstrong’s done to upset you.’

  ‘Young Armstrong!’ Olivia tried to force a laugh. ‘Dad, Joel’s thirty-five, not nineteen.’

  ‘I’m aware of that.’ Her father frowned. ‘What’s happened? Did you sleep with him?’

  ‘Dad!’

  ‘Don’t look at me like that, Livvy. I may be old and crippled, but I’m not numb from the neck down.’ He sighed. ‘If that man’s hurt you, I want to hear about it. He may be thirty-five, but he’s not too old to feel the sharp edge of my tongue!’

  ‘Oh, Dad!’

  ‘Well, did you?’

  To her dismay, Olivia could feel the tears running down her cheeks again and she fumbled for one of the tissues from the box on the table beside her father’s bed. ‘I don’t want to talk about it, Dad,’ she said, scrubbing her eyes again. ‘It’s late. I ought to get to bed myself.’

  ‘So you did sleep with him,’ remarked the old man resignedly. ‘I knew you would. Sooner or later. But obviously it didn’t work out.’

  ‘Dad!’

  ‘Stop saying “Dad” as if I was a juvenile. You forget, Livvy. I was both mother and father to you for years after Elizabeth died. All right, it’s been some time since we spent any time together, but I haven’t forgotten one small thing about you. You’ll always be my baby, Livvy. The little girl I had such high hopes for.’

  Olivia gripped his hand lying on the duvet beside her. ‘Linda told me you had to scrape and save to keep me at school until I was eighteen,’ she said. ‘Is that true?’

  ‘Linda had no right telling you any such thing. I was happy to do what I could. And I’m proud of the way you’ve turned out, although you may not believe me. You’re a good woman, Livvy. Caring and generous and too honest for your own good.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Olivia frowned.

  ‘I mean, all those years ago, telling Joel you’d arranged to have an abortion. If you hadn’t told him that, no one would have been any the wiser. Miscarriages happen all the time. Your mother lost a baby just after we got married. Then we had Linda, without any bother at all.’

  Olivia stared at him. ‘I didn’t know that.’

  ‘Why should you? It’s not something most people brag about. Your mother was very upset, but we got over it. Things happen!’

  Olivia felt a smile tugging at her lips. ‘Thanks, Dad,’ she said. ‘You’ve made me feel so much better.’ She sniffed again. ‘Is there anything I can do for you before I go?’

  ‘Yes.’ Ben Foley’s brows drew together. ‘You can tell Linda I’ve decided to ask the bank for a loan.’ He paused. ‘Talking to you, being with you, has made me see there’s more to life than lying here, waiting for the devil to come and get me. Martin’s right. I’m never going to be able to run this place again. Why should I stand in their way? I’ve got better things to do.’

  Olivia caught her breath. ‘Like what?’

  ‘Like getting out of this bed, for one thing,’ declared her father grimly. ‘I’m going to get myself one of those electric wheelchairs, so I can get about by myself. Having that beer the other day reminded me of how long it’s been since I had a drink in The Bay Horse. Who knows, maybe some of my old pals won’t have forgotten me?’

  * * *

  The following week dragged. Olivia felt emotionally drained, robbed of any sense of optimism about the future. And, alt
hough the atmosphere in the house was infinitely more cheerful, now that her father had agreed to approach the bank for a loan, Olivia couldn’t see herself staying there any longer than it took to find a place of her own.

  It was a situation that had been reinforced by the conversation she’d accidentally overheard Linda and Martin having one evening after they’d thought she’d gone to bed. But she’d been thirsty, and when she’d gone downstairs for a drink she’d heard Martin mention her name.

  She hadn’t intended to listen. She knew eavesdroppers seldom heard good of themselves. But what she had heard had confirmed her earlier suspicions about her brother-in-law’s apparent change of heart where she was concerned.

  Martin hadn’t changed his mind about her. He hadn’t wanted her to stay on at the farm because she was family. It appeared he’d invited her to stay because he’d been hoping to persuade her to use what little money she had to finance the redevelopment of the cottages, after all. He’d reasoned that without the expense of an apartment, she’d have had no excuse for needing extra funds.

  What hurt Olivia the most was that Linda had gone along with it. Obviously her father hadn’t known anything abut Martin’s manipulations, but Linda had been party to his plans all along. If it hadn’t been for her father, Olivia was sure she’d have packed up and gone back to London, the sense of betrayal Joel had awakened only strengthened by her sister’s deception.

  That was why, a few days later, she found herself in Newcastle again, checking out the estate agents. It served the dual purpose of pricing possible apartments and asking about job vacancies.

  She didn’t have her CV with her, of course, and it was a very unorthodox way of introducing herself to possible employers. But her experiences in London had taught her that having confidence in her abilities was worth a handful of good references.

  Even so, the day was a bit of a disappointment as far as finding herself an apartment was concerned. Those she did view were usually too small or too expensive. The one she did like on the riverside was already spoken for, and she’d had to content herself with leaving her name and phone number just in case the present buyer pulled out of the deal.

  Still, she did have a couple of interviews lined up for the following week. She’d have to take a trip to London before that to arrange to have the rest of her belongings couriered north. She’d also check out of the small hotel where she’d stayed when she’d first returned to England. The manager there had offered to keep a room free for her until her return.

  On impulse, when she left Newcastle she drove back to Bridgeford via Millford. She assured herself she wanted to see the village again, but the truth was she wanted to drive past Joel’s house one more time. She didn’t expect to see him. It was the middle of the afternoon and he’d probably be lecturing. In any case, there was no point in pursuing their relationship. Whatever excuses he came up with, she’d never forgive him for not believing her.

  She slowed as she reached the green. If Joel’s car was at his gate, she was prepared to do a U-turn. But it wasn’t. As anticipated, the house looked deserted. Well, what had she expected? But it proved how much she was deceiving herself.

  She was driving round the green when she saw Sean. He wasn’t on his own. He was walking beside a tall, lanky individual who, despite the fact that he wasn’t wearing his cassock, was unmistakably the vicar of All Saints Church.

  Olivia hesitated, slowing behind them, not sure what she intended to do until she’d pulled alongside. Then, rolling down her window, she said, ‘Hi there,’ including them both in her deceptively casual greeting.

  ‘Olivia!’ Sean recognised her at once, leaving his relative’s side to put both hands on the rim of the open window. He gave her a wistful look. ‘I’ve missed you, Olivia. Have you missed me?’

  Olivia wasn’t sure how to answer that one. Of course she’d missed the boy, but saying so wasn’t going to help anyone. However, Brian Webster saved her the dilemma. ‘Oh, it’s you, Livvy,’ he said without enthusiasm. ‘What are you doing in Millford? Joel’s not here.’

  Olivia could have said that she hadn’t come to see Joel, but she didn’t. Instead, she turned her attention to the boy. ‘Does your mother know you’re here, Sean?’ she asked, with a swift glance at Brian. ‘I thought it was only weekends that you spent with your dad.’

  ‘You’re right. He shouldn’t be here,’ agreed Brian, without giving the boy time to reply. ‘He evidently expected to find Joel at home, but he was disappointed. Fortunately, I’d seen him getting off the bus, so I intercepted him before he found somewhere to hide.’ He sighed. ‘I mean, he could have been hanging about for hours.’

  ‘That’s true,’ said Olivia, giving Sean a disapproving look. She was remembering what had happened the last time he’d run away and she knew Joel wouldn’t be pleased at his reckless disregard of his mother’s feelings.

  ‘Well, it is Thursday,’ Sean protested. ‘And I am supposed to be spending the weekend with Dad. What does it matter if I come a day early?’

  Olivia and Brian exchanged glances, and then she said, ‘You know the answer to that as well as I do. You’re supposed to wait until Friday so your dad can collect you.’

  ‘And let’s not forget your mother!’ exclaimed Brian. ‘She must be out of her mind with worry by now. I’m going to go straight into the vicarage and ring her to let her know where you are. Then I suppose I’ll have to drive you home.’

  ‘I don’t want to go home,’ muttered Sean stubbornly, but Olivia steeled her heart against him.

  ‘I can take him back,’ she said instead, immediately regretting the impulse to get involved again.

  ‘Oh, could you?’ Brian’s face cleared for the first time since she’d met them. ‘That is kind of you, Livvy. I’ve got a wedding rehearsal at five o’clock and I was thinking I’d have to put them off.’

  ‘But I don’t want to go home,’ said Sean again; however, Brian had no sympathy.

  ‘You don’t have a choice,’ he said briskly. ‘Come along. Get into the car.’

  Sean looked sulky. ‘I don’t have to. Mum says I should never get into a car with a stranger. I can get the bus back. I’m old enough.’

  ‘Get in,’ said Olivia warningly, leaning across the passenger seat and pushing the door open. ‘Now.’

  Heaving a sigh, Sean obeyed her, flopping into the seat beside her with evident ill grace. Brian slammed the door, raising his hand to both of them, and then Olivia put the car in gear and drove away.

  ‘Dad isn’t going to like this,’ said Sean eventually, apparently deciding to take a different approach. ‘He said we wouldn’t be seeing you again. Ever. I think he’s angry with you. Have you done something to upset him? He wasn’t in a good mood all last weekend.’

  Olivia gave a brief shrug of her shoulders. ‘I’m sure in this instance he’ll be glad you’re not spending another night in the barn, don’t you?’

  ‘I wasn’t going to spend the night in the barn.’ Sean was indignant. ‘I was just going to go and play football on the lawn until Dad got home.’

  ‘And what about your mother?’

  Sean sniffed. ‘Dad would have rung her when he got back.’

  ‘But what if he had an evening lecture? It could have been eight or nine before he came home. Your mother would have been frantic by then.’

  ‘No, she wouldn’t.’

  ‘Yes, she would.’

  ‘She wasn’t before.’

  ‘That was different. She thought you were at your Dad’s.’

  ‘But I wasn’t.’

  ‘No. But she didn’t know that. And as that’s where you’d gone before…’ Olivia sighed. ‘You know I’m right, Sean. You can’t keep running away like this.’

  Sean hunched his shoulders. ‘I wish I could live with Dad.’

  ‘Yes, I think we all know that. But you can’t.’

  ‘Why can’t I?’

  ‘Because your father isn’t married. He doesn’t have a wife to look after you whe
n he’s not there.’ She took a breath. ‘If he was married, it would be different. But he’s not.’

  Sean looked thoughtful. ‘You like my dad, don’t you?’

  Olivia knew where this was going. ‘Yes. But I don’t want to marry him.’

  And how true was that?

  ‘Why not?’

  She hesitated, and then, deciding it was now or never, she said, ‘Because I was married to him years ago. Before I went to America.’ She gave him a rueful smile. ‘It didn’t work out.’

  Sean gazed at her in amazement. ‘You were married to Dad,’ he said incredulously. ‘He didn’t tell me that.’

  ‘No, and probably I shouldn’t either,’ murmured Olivia uneasily. ‘But—well, it’s not a secret.’

  Sean was thinking hard. ‘So you must have liked him once,’ he said at last, and Olivia stifled a groan.

  ‘It was all a long time ago,’ she said quellingly. ‘I’d rather talk about why you keep running away from home.’ She paused. ‘What’s wrong? Jo—your dad said you seemed happy enough in the beginning.’

  Sean shifted in his seat. ‘It was all right, before—’

  He broke off and Olivia glanced quickly at him. They’d been here before, too. ‘Before—what?’ she prompted. ‘Go on.’

  Sean cast her a look out of the corners of his eyes and then he seemed to slump lower in his seat. ‘Before—before the hulk told me they were going to have a baby,’ he muttered in a low voice, and suddenly everything he had done made a peculiar kind of sense.

  Olivia sought for an answer. ‘Well—that’s wonderful,’ she said at length. ‘You’re going to have a brother or sister. You should be pleased.’

  ‘So why hasn’t Mum told me?’ demanded Sean, startling her by his vehemence. ‘She hasn’t even mentioned it and I don’t know if Stewart’s lying or not.’

  Olivia was beginning to understand a little more. ‘Oh, I think it’s true,’ she ventured gently, remembering Louise’s sickness and how pale she’d looked that morning Olivia had called at the house. ‘Perhaps she doesn’t know how to tell you. Perhaps she’s afraid you’ll be angry. And what with you running away and all, she probably thinks it’s the last thing you want to hear.’