The Pregnancy Affair

by Anne Mather

  ‘But—’ Sean stared at her. ‘But that’s why I’ve been running away. Well, partly, anyway. I’d still rather live with my dad, but that’s not going to happen, is it?’

  ‘Not yet,’ said Olivia, forcing a smile, wondering how she’d feel if Joel found someone else. Hearing about his marriage to Louise had been painful enough, but at least she hadn’t been around to witness it.

  Sean frowned. ‘So—do you think if I told her I knew she’d be pleased?’ he asked consideringly.

  ‘I’m sure of it.’ Olivia spoke firmly, wishing her own problems could be solved so easily. ‘I think you’ve got to be grown-up about this, Sean. You’re not a baby, are you?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘So, show your mum that you love her; that you’ll go on loving her even if she has half a dozen babies!’

  * * *

  The following morning, Olivia was in her father’s room, helping him into his wheelchair preparatory to wheeling him to the car, when Linda appeared in the doorway.

  ‘You’ve got a visitor,’ she said without preamble. ‘Can you come?’

  ‘A visitor?’

  For a heart-stopping moment Olivia wondered if it was Joel, come to thank her for taking Sean home, but Linda soon disillusioned her. ‘It’s Louise Web—I mean, Barlow,’ she said irritably. ‘Do you know what she wants?’

  Olivia could guess, but she only shook her head. She’d dropped Sean at the end of the road, allowing him to explain where he’d been to his mother if he wanted to. She’d thought it would be easier if he wasn’t forced to say what he’d been doing, but if Louise was here it looked as though he’d told her the truth.

  ‘I won’t be a minute, Dad,’ she said, settling the old man in his chair with an apologetic grimace. ‘You can come through, if you like.’

  ‘No, you go and talk to her, Livvy. I’ll have another look at the crossword. And don’t worry about me,’ he warned her. ‘If there’s one thing being confined to a bed teaches you, it’s patience.’

  Linda had put Louise in the living room, and, although she hovered in the doorway for a moment as if she’d have liked to know what the woman wanted, eventually common courtesy forced her to withdraw.

  Olivia looked at Louise a little warily when they were alone. ‘Linda said you wanted to see me,’ she said, gesturing towards the sofa. ‘Why don’t you sit down?’

  As she did so, Olivia noticed that Louise looked much better this morning. There was colour in her cheeks so whatever this was about, it couldn’t be all bad.

  ‘I hope you don’t mind me coming here,’ she said, apparently understanding the situation with Linda. She waited until Olivia had seated herself on the armchair opposite, before she continued, ‘First of all, I want to thank you for bringing Sean home yesterday afternoon.’

  ‘That’s OK.’ Olivia was relieved. ‘I’m glad he told you.’

  ‘He had to anyway.’ Louise pulled a wry face. ‘Brian called me just after you left Millford.’

  ‘Ah.’

  ‘But that wasn’t all he told me,’ Louise went on, smoothing a hand over the knee of her trousers. ‘He told me he knew about the baby; that Stewart had told him without mentioning it to me.’

  Olivia nodded. ‘I see.’

  ‘It was because he’d talked it over with you, wasn’t it? Why is it that he always seems to find it easier to talk to someone else and not to me?’ She sighed. ‘Still, I suppose I have been pretty wrapped up in myself since I started this morning sickness. I didn’t have any with Sean, you see, so I’ve taken badly to it.’

  Olivia didn’t know what to say. She and Louise were hardly likely to be friends. ‘And was he pleased?’ she asked, choosing the least controversial option. She didn’t even want to think about how it was when Louise was expecting Sean. That was much too much information.

  ‘I think he is pleased, yes,’ Louise said now. ‘He thought I didn’t want him to know.’

  ‘Well, I’m glad it’s turned out so well,’ said Olivia, wincing at her choice of vocabulary. ‘He’s a really nice boy. And a credit to you.’

  ‘Yes, he is. A nice boy, I mean.’ Louise blew out a breath. ‘Does Joel know? About the baby?’

  ‘Not from me,’ said Olivia flatly.

  ‘You don’t think Sean might have confided in his father?’

  ‘I think he was worried about you,’ said Olivia carefully. ‘Staying with his father allowed him to put it out of his head.’

  ‘Well, I appreciate what you did.’ Louise bent her head. ‘Particularly after the way I behaved.’

  ‘Like you said, you had other things on your mind,’ said Olivia, wishing this conversation was over. She made to get to her feet. ‘But now, if you don’t mind—’

  ‘Wait!’ Louise put out a hand, making Olivia stay in her seat. ‘I haven’t finished.’ She wet her lips. ‘When I said after what I’d done, I wasn’t talking about Sean, Livvy. I was talking about Joel.’

  ‘Joel?’

  Olivia was totally confused. What on earth was Louise saying? Unless…The bile rose in the back of her throat. Unless Louise was about to tell her that the child she was expecting was Joel’s.

  ‘I’m not explaining myself very well,’ Louise went on uncomfortably. ‘But this isn’t easy, Livvy.’

  Olivia frowned. ‘What isn’t easy?’

  ‘It was me,’ said Louise quickly. ‘I was the one who told Joel you’d had the abortion. Maureen—my cousin Maureen, that is—used to work at the clinic in Chevingham. She knew how I felt about Joel, how jealous I’d always been of you. She couldn’t wait to tell me that you’d made an appointment and then changed your mind at the last minute.’

  Olivia’s throat felt dry. ‘But you knew I hadn’t gone through with it.’

  ‘Yes, but when I heard about your miscarriage, I told Joel that you had.’ She hurried on, trying to excuse herself. ‘I hated myself afterwards, Livvy. When you two split up and everything. But it was too late then.’

  Olivia blinked. ‘You destroyed my life because you were jealous!’

  ‘I was totally, totally ashamed of what I’d done.’

  ‘But that didn’t stop you from marrying Joel when he came back to Bridgeford, did it?’ exclaimed Olivia bitterly. ‘My God, Louise, I don’t know how you could do such a thing.’

  Louise sniffed. ‘I know, I know. I was a bitch. And I’ve paid for it. But—well, I didn’t have to tell you,’ she added defensively. ‘And like I said before, Joel still loved you. So lying to him didn’t do me a bit of good.’

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  JOEL emptied his glass and reached for the bottle sitting on the low table in front of him. He upended it into the glass and then scowled when only a few drops of the amber liquid emerged to cover the base of the crystal tumbler. The whisky was all gone. He’d swallowed almost half a bottle of the stuff. Even so, he thought irritably, he should have called at the pub on his way home and bought another. But at that point, he’d still been kidding himself that this wasn’t going to be another lousy night.

  He flung himself back against the cushions of the sofa, staring unseeingly into the empty grate. It wasn’t cold enough to need a fire, but right now he could have done with one. He felt chilled, through and through.

  He’d been feeling this way for days, ever since he’d had that phone call from Louise. He’d suspected something was wrong when he’d gone to pick up Sean on Friday afternoon, but he’d assumed she and Stewart had had a row. And then Sean had told him that his mother was expecting a baby, which had seemed to explain her agitation. He knew from the first time she was pregnant that Louise didn’t take kindly to losing her figure.

  But the call that had come on Sunday evening had been totally out of the blue. After all, it had only been a couple of hours since he’d dropped Sean off, and his first concern had been that there was something wrong with his son. But it had soon become apparent that the reason for Louise phoning him had nothing to do with Sean. What Louise had to say, she hadn’t had the n
erve to reveal to his face.

  To say Joel was devastated by her confession would have been an understatement. He’d wanted to get in his car and drive to Bridgeford and confront Louise personally with her lies. Only the knowledge that Sean would be there, that he might be frightened and not understand his father’s anger, had kept Joel from making a scene that night.

  However, he had gone to see Louise the following morning. He’d cancelled a lecture and driven straight to his ex-wife’s house. He’d been so angry, but she’d been tearful—even though he knew she could turn them on to order—and pregnant, and although he could blame her, the person who was really to blame was himself.

  He’d been so stupid. Accepting Louise Webster’s story instead of believing his wife. No wonder she’d run away to London. She’d had to suffer the after-effects of the miscarriage without anyone to support her. They’d all believed she was lying. Even her father.

  And now, he’d only compounded the offence by showing he still believed she’d had an abortion. That evening they’d spent together had been so perfect until he’d opened his big mouth. He’d thought that by telling her he’d forgiven her, she would be grateful. Instead of which, he’d destroyed their relationship all over again.

  He had gone to the farm after seeing Louise, hoping against hope that Olivia would agree to talk to him. But she hadn’t been there. Linda had said her sister had gone to London and she didn’t know when—or even if—she’d be back. She had been looking for an apartment in Newcastle, she’d added, but Olivia hadn’t found anything she liked.

  Which had been the final straw. Joel hadn’t slept the night Louise phoned him and he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since then. His smug little world had been shattered and he was afraid it was going to take more than a university degree to put it right this time.

  When the phone rang, he practically leapt from the sofa to answer it. It might be Olivia, he thought. She could be back from London and Linda would have told her he’d called at the farm.

  But it wasn’t Olivia. It was his mother, calling from the airport in Newcastle. ‘Can you come and pick us up, darling?’ she asked. ‘The plane was delayed or I’d have rung you earlier. But we wanted it to be a surprise.’

  Joel stifled a groan. ‘I can’t, Mum.’

  ‘You can’t?’ Diana Armstrong sounded put out.

  ‘No. I’m afraid I’ve been drinking,’ Joel admitted, knowing how that would be received. ‘Sorry, Mum. It’s good to hear from you, but you should have warned me you were coming.’

  Diana mumbled something about thoughtless sons, and then Patrick Armstrong came on the line. ‘It’s OK, Joel,’ he said. ‘We can easily take a taxi. It was your mother’s idea to ring you. I guessed you might have company tonight.’

  Joel frowned. ‘Company?’

  ‘What your father’s trying so unsubtly to say is that we heard Olivia was back home again,’ put in his mother tersely. ‘She’s not there with you, is she?’

  ‘No.’ Joel’s tone was cooler now. ‘More’s the pity. She’s not even staying in Bridgeford any longer. Her sister told me she’s gone back to London.’

  ‘Well—’ Diana was obviously trying not to sound too delighted. ‘Well, it’s probably all for the best, Joel. After what she did.’

  ‘But that’s the point,’ said Joel grimly. ‘She didn’t do anything. Louise told me a couple of days ago that she’d been lying when she said Liv had had an abortion. She hadn’t. She really had had a miscarriage. And nobody—but especially me—would listen.’

  He thought he might feel better when he got off the phone, but he didn’t. He’d thought that telling his mother she’d been wrong about Olivia all along would give him some relief. But he was mistaken. The hollowness inside him seemed greater if anything. A great gaping hole of nothingness where once he’d had a heart.

  He was in the kitchen, checking for beers in the fridge, when the doorbell rang. He’d just discovered he had two bottles of a German brew and he put them down on the counter with a distinct lack of patience. What now? he thought. Someone selling double-glazing? Or perhaps Sean had run away again. Surely not, now that he knew why his mother had been feeling so unwell.

  He hoped it wasn’t anyone from the university. He was only wearing drawstring black sweatpants and a black T-shirt. He’d intended to go for a run earlier, but intermittent rain and the bleakness of his mood had deterred him.

  It was still light out and when he pulled open the door, he had no difficulty in identifying his caller. Olivia stood outside, slim and beautiful in a red slip dress and incredibly high heels, a loose wrap of some gauzy material floating about her bare shoulders.

  ‘Hi,’ she said, sheltering under the lee of the overhang. ‘Are you going to invite me in?’

  Joel stepped back abruptly, almost losing his balance in his haste to get out of her way. And then, still staring at her as if he couldn’t quite believe his eyes, he said stupidly, ‘I thought you went back to London.’

  ‘I did.’ Olivia moved into the hall, shedding her wrap into his startled hands. Then, glancing thoughtfully at him, she said, ‘Are you drunk?’

  Joel was taken aback. ‘Me?’ he said. ‘Drunk?’

  ‘You’re acting as if you are,’ she declared, sauntering past him into the sitting room. Then, turning, she pressed one finger delicately to her nose. ‘It smells like a distillery in here.’

  Joel tried to pull himself together. ‘You’re exaggerating,’ he said, following her into the room and snatching up the empty bottle and his glass, stowing them away in the drinks cabinet. ‘I was having a quiet drink, that’s all.’

  ‘A quiet drink?’ Olivia faced him, her hips lodged carelessly against the back of the sofa. ‘All alone?’

  ‘No, my harem dashed upstairs as soon as you rang the bell,’ said Joel shortly. And then, just in case she thought he was serious, ‘Of course alone. Who else would I be with?’

  Olivia moistened her lips. ‘I don’t know. What was that girl’s name? Cheryl something or other. You could have been with her.’

  ‘No, I couldn’t.’ Joel took a steadying breath. ‘Why are you here, Liv? Have you come to say goodbye?’

  ‘Goodbye?’

  ‘Linda said you might stay in London.’

  ‘Did she? Well, actually, I was arranging to have the rest of my belongings sent to the farm.’ She paused. ‘Sorry to disappoint you.’

  Joel swore. ‘That doesn’t disappoint me, for God’s sake! But what was I supposed to think?’

  ‘Oh, I don’t know.’ Olivia shifted and the silky bodice moved sensuously against her body. ‘You could say you were glad to see me.’ She paused. ‘You could even say you like my dress.’

  Joel groaned. ‘You look—fantastic,’ he muttered shortly. ‘But what is this, Liv? A crucifying mission? Have you come to see how much more pain I can take?’

  ‘No.’ Olivia turned then, walking around the sofa, trailing long nails that matched her dress over the soft leather. ‘Why should I want to hurt you, Joel? Haven’t we hurt one another enough?’

  Joel sucked in a breath. ‘Then you know—’

  ‘About the lies? Yes, Louise told me.’ She glanced his way. ‘I assume she’s told you?’

  Joel nodded.

  Olivia moistened her lips. ‘And how did that make you feel?’

  ‘Stupid! Devastated! Angry!’ Joel raked back his hair with a hand that shook a little. ‘God, Liv, I knew Maureen Webster worked at that clinic. And I had no reason to suspect that Louise might be lying.’

  ‘Except that I’d told you it wasn’t true!’ exclaimed Olivia unsteadily. ‘It never occurred to you that I might be telling the truth, did it?’

  ‘Of course it did.’ Joel swore again. ‘Didn’t she tell you? I phoned the clinic. I wanted proof that you’d actually had an abortion.’

  Olivia stared at him. ‘And what happened?’

  ‘I got some empty-headed receptionist who said she couldn’t give out confidential information a
bout the patients.’ He groaned. ‘All she would tell me was that, yes, you had had an appointment. She said nothing about you cancelling it.’

  ‘Oh, Joel!’ Olivia trembled. ‘You should have had more faith in me.’

  Joel shook his head. ‘Do you think I haven’t tormented myself with that ever since Louise decided to tell me?’ he demanded. ‘I’ve gone over every minute of those days with a fine-tooth comb and, whatever I do, I can’t forgive myself for being such a fool. I should have listened to you. I should have realised you wouldn’t have been so upset if it was what you’d wanted. Instead, I could hear the receptionist telling me that you had made the appointment in one ear and Louise whispering that you’d never wanted my baby in the other.’

  ‘Oh, God, Joel—’

  ‘No. Don’t feel sorry for me, Liv. I was twenty years old. I should have known better.’

  ‘We were both just kids,’ said Olivia huskily, gazing up at him with brimming eyes. ‘I wonder if I hadn’t run away if we might have learned the truth.’

  Joel made a helpless gesture. ‘Do you think I haven’t considered that, too?’ He sighed. ‘It would be so easy for me to say that you running away settled the matter. That it proved you’d been lying all along. But I was the real culprit, Liv. I blame myself totally. I moved out of the farm. I let you think that, as far as I was concerned, our marriage was over.’

  ‘Our marriage was over,’ whispered Olivia, but Joel only shook his head again, coming towards her, his face dark with emotion.

  ‘Do you honestly think that if you’d stayed in Bridgeford, I’d have been able to keep away from you?’ he asked hoarsely. ‘For God’s sake, Liv, I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you, dammit. Louise knows that. Maybe that was why she decided to be generous for once in her life.’

  Olivia’s lips parted, but, although she was tempted to tell him why Louise had had a change of heart, she decided that could wait. Evidently his ex-wife hadn’t told him the whole story and Sean wouldn’t be too eager to confess that he’d run away again.