Bean's Heart (Hearts of ICARUS Book 7)

by Phillips, Laura Jo

  “No,” Zander said, shaking his head. “Please don’t feel that way. We knew when we made the decision to keep the truth from the public that we’d face censure. We chose that path anyway because we felt it was the right thing to do.”

  “I agree that your decision was an honorable one,” Kashton said. “But I don’t know if it’s one I would have had the guts to make.”

  “In hindsight, I think we felt a bit like we had some of it coming to us,” Zach said. “We never treated any woman with anything less than respect, but we did allow ourselves to get a bit too cocky and big-headed about it. We should have realized we needed medical help much sooner. We didn’t, and that’s on us. That aside, the woman was ill. Seriously so. She needed help, not punishment.”

  “Your position was, and still is a difficult one,” Sark said. “But I believe you made the honorable choice.”

  “We’ve already begun spreading the truth,” Kyrus said. “By noon this isn’t going to be an issue any longer.”

  “That’s what matters to us most right now,” Zander said. “We know very little about this mission so far, but from what we do know it’s going to be long and dangerous. Our past is a distraction that people don’t need to be focusing on.”

  “I thought Bean briefed you yesterday,” Kyrus said.

  “Let’s just say that, through no fault of hers, we convinced her not to trust us,” Zander said. “It’s going to take some effort on our part to clean up the mess we made there.”

  ***

  A few minutes later, after thanking the Bearens and Sark, Zander, Zach, and Zain were alone in the weapons sparring room. “That went much better than I expected,” Zach said as he looked over the practice swords.

  “It did,” Zander agreed. “Did you get a response from Doc?”

  “I haven’t checked yet,” Zach said, reaching for the hand terminal at his waist. Zander and Zain waited patiently while he turned it on and checked messages.

  “He says that yes, in loose laymen’s terms, the medication prevents pheromone production.” Zach looked up. “That’s nice to know. Not only did I take my anger and frustration out on her for not reacting to us, we’re the reason she had no reaction.”

  “We’ll find a way to make it up to her, Zach,” Zander said. “What else does Doc say?”

  “Since we’ve been taking it for so long it could take two to three weeks for the effects to fully wear off. If our mating fangs don’t descend after four weeks, restart the medication because it means she isn’t our berezi.”

  “Excellent,” Zander said, smiling. He glanced at Zain. “It gives us plenty of time to get to know her, too.”

  Zain turned and walked toward the far wall where the practice weapons were neatly stored, his brothers behind him. “Yes, I suppose that it does.”

  “Now all we have to do is get her to finish briefing us,” Zach said.

  “Any ideas on how to make that happen?” Zain asked, selecting a wooden broadsword. He stepped back and swung it a few times, getting a feel for the weight and balance.

  Zander chose a wooden katana and, after testing a couple of different bokken, Zach chose a scimitar.

  “Yes,” Zander said, answering Zain’s question as they walked toward the center of the room. “I’m going to invite her back to the conference room, apologize for our behavior, and request that she give us the information we need.”

  “You think she’ll agree?” Zach asked, taking a stance.

  “I don’t know, but we have to try,” Zander said. “En garde.”

  All three of them swung their swords, the wooden blades clashing as they came together in the center of their small triangle. Then the sparring began.

  ***

  Bean paused outside the viewing window and watched the Falcorans spar. She was used to seeing the speed and power of Clan males, so what impressed her the most about them was the way they moved. They were seven feet tall at least, their bodies less broad than most male-sets though no less powerful, and yet, for all their size and strength, they flowed across the floor with effortless grace. She was enthralled by the way they seemed to anticipate each other’s moves, blocking and attacking so fast it almost looked choreographed.

  A faint tingling sensation trickled slowly down her body as she watched them. When she caught herself wondering if their hair felt as silky as it looked she turned away abruptly. Walking quickly up the corridor, her eyes on the floor, cheeks warm with embarrassment, she reminded herself how rude they’d been to her. How little she trusted them. How lucky she was that she hadn’t reacted to them, or they to her.

  It wasn’t until they were alone in the stairwell that Iffon spoke. “They’re pretty to watch, I suppose.”

  Bean nodded. There was no point in trying to lie, nor did she want to. Not to Iffon anyway. “Pretty isn’t everything.”

  Iffon said nothing further until just before reaching their floor. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  Bean frowned at the note of nervousness in Iffon’s voice. “Okay,” she said, leaving the stairwell. “What is it?”

  “When we were talking in the machine room yesterday, they were listening at the door.”

  “They deliberately eavesdropped?”

  “To be fair, I don’t think that was the intent,” Iffon said. “They were about to enter the machine room when you began talking. They stopped when they heard you, but they didn’t walk away as they should have, or make their presence known.”

  Bean pressed her hand against the lock panel and the door slid open. She stepped inside and waited for it to close before locking it. “Were they there the whole time?” she asked, trying to remember what she’d said.

  “No, just the last few minutes.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me then?” Bean asked, watching Iffon fly up to a perch.

  “You’d already had enough upset for one day. Besides, they needed to hear what they heard anyway.”

  “Which was what?”

  “That they took the mission for the accolades and rank, and didn’t care about the people who need help. That you think they’re rude, obnoxious bullies, and that you couldn’t force them to have honor or manners.”

  Bean nodded, wishing she hadn’t said those things where anyone else could hear. At the same time, she couldn’t pretend she hadn’t meant every word she’d said, either. Or that she still did. Or that it hurt so deeply that it took her breath away to think about it.

  “Are you upset with me for not telling you at the time, Bean?”

  “No, I’m not upset with you, Iffon.”

  “Why are you so sad?”

  “I’m a little disappointed that the men Fate chose for me are so…different than I expected. I can’t change it though, so there’s no sense in dwelling on it.”

  Iffon knew she was more than a little disappointed. He’d been her guardian her entire life, and he’d spent much of that time melded with her. He had no trouble sensing the true depth of her sorrow and pain despite her efforts to keep it from him. Unable to think of anything helpful to say, he said the only thing he could. “I’m sorry, Bean.”

  “It’s for the best,” she said, going to the dresser and opening drawers, taking out clothes, then closing them. “I have plenty of more important things to worry about. There are too many lives depending on me for me to let myself get sidetracked anyway.”

  “That’s true.”

  “I’ll just take a quick shower,” she said, turning toward the bathroom. “Then we can go have breakfast.”

  “All right. Take your time.” Iffon remained where he was until he heard the shower running. Then he flew over to the perch nearest the bathroom door and listened.

  Before long he heard her crying even though she was clearly trying to do it quietly. If birds could cry, he’d have joined her. Unable to listen further without becoming enraged, he flew over to a perch that held a water dish and a small bowl of mixed nuts that he liked to snack on.

  He drank a little water a
s he considered the possible ramifications of destroying the Falcorans. Prince Garen wouldn’t be happy about it. Then again, he might not mind too much if he knew how they’d treated Bean even after he’d warned Zander on the vox. He turned his head to look at the bathroom door and sighed in a very un-birdlike manner.

  Even if Prince Garen didn’t blame him, Iffon knew that destroying the Falcorans would destroy Bean despite their absolute unworthiness. He needed to find a way to get through their thick skulls that didn’t involve the use of his true power. Or his talons.

  ***

  Thirty minutes later Bean entered the cafeteria with Iffon on her shoulder, her long hair hanging loose and damp down her back to her hips. She headed for a table near the wall, stopping abruptly when Zander Falcoran stepped directly in front of her just before she reached it.

  She looked up at him, realized how close he was and took a step back. Though nothing showed in her expression, she was shocked that he’d deliberately blocked her path. Is he going to try to intimidate and bully me in front of the entire cafeteria? she wondered without letting Iffon hear her. Her stomach clenched painfully at the thought.

  “Good morning, Lady BreeAnna,” Zander said politely. “I wonder if you’d mind meeting with myself and my brothers in the conference room after breakfast.”

  Bean’s mind raced, trying to understand why he was asking for this. Did they intend to force her to give them information above their security level? She had to know before she could agree. “May I ask why, Commander?”

  “We have a few things we’d like to discuss with you.”

  His response was wholly unhelpful. She didn’t want to meet with them again, nor did she want to talk with them again. She didn’t like the way she felt around them, and she didn’t like the way they treated her.

  They were, however, the Commanders of the Askara now, and even though she was not under their command, she felt that she owed them a certain amount of courtesy. That didn’t mean she had to let them push her around, though.

  “If it’s your intention to bully me into giving you information you aren’t cleared for, Commander, you might as well know that it won’t do you any good.” Her voice was soft enough that others couldn’t hear her, but there was a thread of determination in it that surprised her, and she knew he’d heard it.

  “No, Lady BreeAnna, we don’t want to bully you, nor will we. You have my word on that.”

  She wasn’t altogether sure what his word was worth since, as far as she’d been able to tell so far, they didn’t have much honor. But she couldn’t say that to his face, nor could she meet his gaze lest he see the doubt in her eyes. “All right Commander. One hour.”

  “Thank you,” he said, stepping aside and pulling her chair out for her. She hesitated, her heart pounding at the thought of approaching him that closely. She reminded herself where they were, and how many people were watching, and did what she had to do.

  Holding her breath without realizing it, she sat down and allowed him to push the chair forward. Only after he bowed his head politely and walked away did she let herself breathe again.

  “What do you think they want?” Iffon asked as he unashamedly watched Zander rejoin his brothers at a table across the room.

  “I suspect they want me to answer more questions,” Bean said. “And, now that I know what they overheard yesterday, they either want to rip me to pieces for my unkind assessment of their characters, or they want to convince me to change my opinion of them.”

  “The first they will not do,” Iffon said with quiet conviction. “As to the second, do you want to change your opinion?”

  “I don’t know,” Bean said, sighing as she watched Hera approach.

  “Good morning Bean.”

  “Good morning, Hera. Iffon would like the ham and cheese omelet, I’d like the veggie cheese omelet, no toast for either of us. And a large carafe of coffee, too, please.”

  “Sure,” Hera said, attempting to hide her surprise behind the big, totally insincere smile on her face. “I’ll get the coffee.”

  “Thanks,” Bean said.

  “That was very well done, Bean. You may learn to stop letting people use you as a doormat yet.”

  “I don’t let people use me as a doormat, Iffon,” Bean said, hurt by the comment. “Just because I’m trying not to act like the poster girl for the Shady Grove Sanitarium anymore doesn’t mean I need to be rude. There’s nothing wrong with being polite.”

  “Until they start using you as a doormat,” Iffon muttered.

  Bean said nothing more when she noticed Sark approaching their table. She put her littlest smile on, wishing he’d at least waited for her to get one cup of coffee in her before coming to chat.

  “Good morning, Bean, Iffon. I wonder if I might have a moment of your time.”

  “Sure, Sark.”

  “I just wanted to know if you intend to fully brief our new Commanders, or if you want me to do it.” He shrugged. “Not that I know everything, but I think they need to know a bit more than they do at the moment.”

  Bean was confused and a little insulted. “Your assumption that I failed to keep my word and fulfill an obligation I freely accepted is both unfair and unfounded, Sark,” she said, her voice a few degrees cooler than was usual for her. “In addition, you are, I’m sure, fully aware that what you say and to whom you say it is absolutely none of my concern. And vice versa.”

  “Certainly,” Sark said, realizing he’d just made a serious mistake. Her expression revealed nothing, but her eyes told him that he’d hurt her feelings, questioned her honor, and insulted her all in one careless sentence. “I apologize, Bean,” he said, meaning it. “Truly. Enjoy your breakfast.”

  She watched him turn and leave. “If you make one comment Iffon, I’ll stop letting you meld.”

  “Who? Me? I had no intention of speaking.”

  Bean sighed and began rubbing her temples. She was getting a headache. She reached into a pocket for Iffon’s dishes just as Hera approached with the coffee, a small pitcher of cream, and a glass of water for Iffon that she hadn’t even asked for. She nodded her thanks before putting water into Iffon’s dish. Then she poured herself a cup of coffee. Just as she was reaching for the cream Kyrus approached the table.

  She glanced up at him guardedly.

  “Not in such a good mood this morning?” Kyrus asked, arching a brow at her.

  “Good morning, Kyrus,” she said, picking up the cream and pouring it into her coffee.

  “Good morning Bean, Iffon,” he said, a little embarrassed by his comment. “I wanted to ask that you give the Falcorans another shot at briefing them.”

  “What’s going on here, Kyrus?” Iffon asked. “Are you and Sark in competition for president of the Frisky Falcorans Fan Club?”

  It took all of Bean’s skill to hide her shock at Iffon’s comment. A part of her wanted to apologize for it. At the same time, she was a little bit glad he’d said it.

  “I take it the suggestion has already been made,” Kyrus said.

  “You could say that,” Bean replied coolly, surprising him. It was the closest he’d ever seen her come to being…well, not angry, but irritated. He kind of liked it. She could do with an edge or two.

  “In that case, I’ll leave you to your breakfast.” He turned around before letting himself grin. He had a feeling the Falcorans may have bitten off more than they could chew by getting on the bad side of sweet, quiet, agreeable Bean Lobo. This could be interesting.

  His grin faded. So long as they didn’t hurt her. If they did, Commanders or not, he’d have to stick his bearenca’s nose into the situation. The way he and every other crewman on the Askara saw it, Bean, Captain Reynolds, and Iffon saved their ship, their mission, and their lives. Nobody was going to hurt Bean Lobo. Nobody.

  Bean watched Kyrus walk away, feeling a little guilty for getting irritated with him. She picked up her coffee just as Hera delivered their breakfasts.

  “Thank you, Hera.”

&nbs
p; “No problem, hon. Let me know if you need anything else.”

  “I will,” Bean agreed almost absently. She picked up a fork and knife, then loaded Iffon’s dish.

  “Thank you,” he said as she set the dish down in front of him.

  Bean smiled faintly, then reached for her coffee again. She was on her third cup when Iffon looked up from his food. “You’re not hungry?”

  “Not anymore,” Bean said. “Do you think I should apologize to Kyrus and Sark? I wasn’t very nice to them.”

  “What did you do that you feel you need to apologize for?”

  “Like I said, I wasn’t very nice to them. Nor were you.”

  “They came over here before you had a chance to do much more than sit down, and made requests they had no right to make. Tell me whether you think they would, or would not, have made such a request of either you or Captain Reynolds were he here.”

  “No, they wouldn’t,” she admitted, not even having to think about her answer.

  “No, they wouldn’t,” he agreed. “On top of that, they haven’t got the slightest idea of what they were asking, or of how you were treated yesterday. Nor did they bother to ask. You owe nothing to anyone, Bean.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

  “What else is troubling you?” Iffon asked after a long silence.

  “Something’s going on that I don’t know about,” she replied. “That’s not unusual, as you know, and I’m used to it for the most part. But this has something to do with me, which makes it difficult to ignore. I just don’t know what it is.”

  “I can make a guess.”

  “I’m listening,” she said, reaching for his empty food dish.

  “Yesterday the crew didn’t like the Falcorans. This morning it’s quite clear that they’ve changed their minds.”

  “You think they learned something that changed their opinions.” He nodded, watching as she put the last of his omelet in his dish. “Do you know what it is?”

  “No, I don’t, unfortunately.”

  “Whatever it is, it’s made them all best friends. Now I’m supposed to fall into line. Is that it?” She put his refilled dish down in front of him.