Elements of Ruin (Hijinks Harem Book 2)

by C. M. Stunich

  Hmm.

  Nope, easy call: definitely the former.

  “So how exactly do these parties work?” Reg asked Siobhan as we caught up to her, melding into the crowd of strange, naked, winged people. Seeing my friend's leathery black wings bobbing gently with her stride was disconcerting enough. Getting my cheek caressed by some random nearby succubi woman was totally weird. “Like is it free-for-all sex?”

  “Yep,” Siobhan said as we headed up the steps and paused at a man with a clipboard. She whispered something to him and he checked her name off, passing over a handful of necklaces made of black glass. They were shaped like wings and hung from delicate silver chains.

  “I highly disapprove of you walking through those doors,” Gram said, appearing just off to the side of the open front doors and narrowing a wrinkled glare at me. “If you go in there, just know that you're on your own. I won't be following.”

  Oh. Wow. Unexpected bonus for the day.

  Brownie points for me.

  “Here.” Siobhan handed the necklaces to each of us. “These will tell the other chaos that you're spoken for. Otherwise they'll all be turning up the mojo on you the second we walk in there.”

  “Blergh,” Reg shuddered. “Succubi mojo is the fucking worst too.”

  “Gee, thanks,” Siobhan sneered at him, “tell me how you really feel.”

  “I just did,” Reg muttered under his breath as Siobhan turned on her heel and flounced into the opulent house ahead of us.

  “Pretty sure that was sarcasm, babe,” I whispered back to him and he raised his eyebrows, mouthing babe back at me.

  My face flamed and I sped up to walk with Siobhan. What the hell was wrong with me lately? Anyone was going to start thinking I actually cared for these bastards, and in more than just a great in bed kinda way. Or in the bathroom for that matter. Heh.

  “So what are we doing here, just like wandering around and looking for captive elementals?” I tried to keep my voice low but as we walked into the main, uh, I guess living room, the sound of moaning and grunting was loud enough to drown out my words and I needed to repeat myself for my winged friend to hear.

  “Wow, it's like the middle of the day,” George commented as the guys caught up, taking in the masses of naked and writhing bodies in some sort of human Lego project.

  “So?” Siobhan puzzled. “Who says sex has to be at nighttime? This is a five day event!”

  “Okay, where do we start?” I sighed and tried to make my way through the copulating couples, triads, quads and more without my tits or ass jiggling too much. Then again, I was wearing booby tassels so jiggling was sort of the point!

  “Let's split up, this mansion is huge and could take forever to search.” Siobhan propped her hand on her waist and pursed her lips thoughtfully. “Shane, Reg and George you come with me.”

  Without waiting for a response, she confidently led the way through to another room with her wings bobbing and swaying behind her.

  Shane glanced between Billy and Warden, then back to me with a brow raised, but I just shrugged. They needed to sort their shit out sooner or later, so maybe a supernatural orgy was just the place for it.

  “Alright, just stay safe, sugar darlin',” he murmured, planting a quick kiss on my cheek before he, Reg and George followed after my scantily dressed succubus friend.

  Billy and Warden glared at one another for a moment, and while I should have been more concerned about finding this mysterious sixth husband, or the fact that we were literally inside the enemy lair, I couldn't help but appreciate how damn sexy those two looked in nothing but their budgie smugglers and pouting faces.

  “Excuse me,” a leathery winged man said, touching my elbow and dragging my attention away from ogling my husbands’ crotch socks. “Are those Von Teese tassels? They're exquisite! Do you mind?”

  Before I had a chance to advise this incubus that yes, indeed I did mind, although not totally sure what I was objecting to, he had his face buried between my breasts and blowing a raspberry while he tossed his face back and forth.

  The tails of the boob tassels smacked him in the face at a velocity that made me worry they would take his eyes out but when he retreated from my cleavage he looked very impressed with himself. Like … very impressed. He was stark bloody naked, so it wasn't hard to see just how impressed he was. Or, should I say it was hard? Ah, you get my point.

  “Did you just …” Words failed me and my jaw flapped a bit.

  Both Billy and Warden lunged forward like they were about to kick some serious ass. Hell, I was about to kick some serious ass, but right here, in this party, we were drenched in CUM. We couldn't start shit on bad guy turf. That would not end well for any of us. I grabbed each boy by the front of his beaded man panties and held them both back.

  “Motorboat you? Yes, I did. And might I say, brava!” He clapped with a broad grin on his face then seemed to suddenly notice my two brooding companions who looked ready to tear this guys wings clean off his body, followed by his other wing.

  “Oh hello, you're all here together then? Sorry, I do hope I didn't overstep my boundaries. Never do know at these parties, do you?” He chuckled jovially then took a long look at each of their banana hammocks and licked his lips. “You know, I'm not really feeling any sexual energy between you three … are you sure you're in the right party?”

  “We're sure,” Billy growled, giving the incubus a look that could set the curtains on fire. And not in a good way.

  “You all smell … kind of off too …” The incubus dipped his face back towards my breasts and sniffed before I could step out of his reach. “Something isn't right here …”

  “That's crazy … we're here for the orgy. Same as everyone else,” I lied with a nervous laugh, blinking my big green eyes at him in the picture of innocence. Or at least, that's what I was aiming for. It probably came out looking like I had just copped a load of cum in my eye.

  “I don't know. Maybe I should get security to take another look at you three … You smell odd and none of you have had sex in like, over twelve hours.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “Because I can tell. I am called Baron the Bloodhound for a reason, you know.”

  The man stood staring at us with his dark goatee and head of silky, wavy locks. He was chiseled as fuck, too, without an ounce of body fat, almost too chiseled really seeing as I could see veins popping up from his neck and arms. I liked my guys ripped but with a fine layer of fat over the muscles to keep them from looking all veiny and gross. Baron was definitely edging into gross territory. Well, his veins and the fact that he was a total weirdo who thought he could motorboat random girls without their permission. Rape culture promoting prick.

  “That's because we just arrived.” Warden shrugged, cool as a damn cucumber. He must have borrowed a leaf off of George's tree. “We're a touch shy, so wanted to find somewhere more private, you know?”

  “Oh, I know.” The incubus still looked super suspicious, then clapped his hands and beamed at us all. “Up the stairs, third door from the left is vacant right now. You can use that.”

  “Wha—” I squawked.

  “I can smell what's happening everywhere inside my own home.” He smiled smugly. “So don't think I won't know if you're just bluffing. Bloodhound, remember?”

  “Your home?” I spluttered. “Perhaps you might, um, show us around?”

  “Of course, darling!” he exclaimed, “I'd love to! After you get into the swing of things, so to speak. Don't worry. I'll come find you when I sense you're finished.” He threw me a dirty sort of wink then slapped me on the ass and pointed up the stairs. “Off you go! Enjoy!”

  With the owner of this mansion, and presumably a high ranking incubus, watching us with shrewd eyes, we had no choice but to do as we were told and head upstairs.

  The room we had been directed to was creepily similar to the red room in Fifty Shades of Grey, and I pulled up short.

  “Hey, do you think that clit lit movie was filmed here?” Warden asked, echoin
g my thoughts as he wandered into the room and ran his hand over the strap-like contraption hanging from the roof. Suddenly, the incubus' choice in words, telling us to get in the swing of things made more sense.

  “What movie?” Billy frowned. “Surely you don't mean the one—”

  “Yes, Billy,” I cut him off before he voiced what was likely to be a less than stellar opinion of Warden's favorite movie. I hadn't known Billy all that long, but I could imagine the things he'd have to say about Fifty Shades.

  “Maybe the owner is a really big fan? I don't know. Anyway, how are we going to get out of this situation? The Bloodhound will know we're up to no good if we leave this room not having had sex …” I said it like I was genuinely trying to think of a way to trick the super-sniffer on the incubus. I wasn't. I was so down for a threesome with Billy and Warden. Fuck, just thinking about it was making me wetter than a burst pipe.

  “No,” Billy snapped, glaring at Warden. “There is no way I am fucking you with him here.”

  “Well that's lucky cause Ari-Vampari doesn't fuck—she makes love.” Warden meant it as a jab at Billy but there was a long, awkward silence that followed that dirty L word.

  “Regardless,” Billy replied eventually, “it's not happening.”

  “Why?” Warden challenged, stepping into Billy's personal space with a stubborn set to his jaw. “You scared, bro?” He smirked at him and raked his fingers through his black and red hair. “Because you felt what happened between us last night?” He snapped his fingers and the lights flickered and dimmed overhead. “You felt that charge.”

  “Screw you,” Billy said, which was the lamest response ever, almost lamer than Warden's energy elemental pun. You know, electricity … charge. Hah. The fire elemental lit up a cigarette (where did that come from?!) and walked around the room, raising his eyebrows at various BDSM devices, some of which were clearly not made for humans. “You're just lucky I'm not beating your ass for what happened last night—you were told one time and that was it. One fuck and never again.”

  “You still want to beat my ass?” Warden asked, grabbing a paddle off the wall and slapping it against his palm. “Because it looks like they're well equipped to handle that sort of transaction here.”

  “Don't change the fucking subject,” Billy said, looking … I mean just fucking wow in his man panties and … nothing else. Not a very good description, but I was a barista, not E. L. James. “You were supposed to mark Ari last night and instead you chose to …”

  “Make sweet, tender boom-boom time?” Warden said, still using the weirdest slang known to man. “Yeah, we did. And am I supposed to apologize for that?”

  “It'd be a start, sure,” Billy scoffed, flicking the orange-brown of his ember eyes over to me. He tousled his charcoal colored with tattooed fingers and took a drag on his cigarette. “You've made it pretty clear you no longer have a goddamn interest in being a part of this group. What gives you the right to drop in, take what you want, and then leave again?”

  “So it's less an issue with me being here than it is about me leaving?” Warden asked, tossing the leather paddle aside and putting his palm on his chest. I noticed a few more tattoos that he'd acquired since college, including another bat on his right wrist that I'd somehow overlooked before and a pair of roses, stems entwined on his left hip.

  Even in beaded panties, both men were, like, seriously flaming hot.

  “Excuse me,” I interjected, lifting a single finger and trying to insert myself into the conversation. “If you want to be angry about what happened last night, you should be angry at me. I was there … I was … making love, too.” I coughed and felt my cheeks—the ones of my face and ass—blush bright red.

  “It takes two to foxtrot,” Warden agreed, and I lifted a brow. Two to tango … two to foxtrot. Okay. Same diff.

  “Leaving,” Billy said, scoffing. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. When shit gets tough, you bail. That's your thing, bro.” He dropped his cigarette on the floor and crushed it out with his bare foot. Guess since he was a fire elemental, that shit didn't faze him?

  “Is this about the sex?” Warden asked, pushing the heels of both hands over his forehead and in his hair. “Not me and Smokey, you know, but like me and you?”

  “This is fucking stupid,” Billy said, moving over to me and looking down at me with a gaze that was half anger, half lust. Like, he looked like he really wanted to go for a nice love/hate in that moment. “Let's just get this over with so we can find this … what the hell is his name? Dustin or whatever?”

  “Dusty MacKenna,” Warden said, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at us with those intensely stormy eyes of his, all the seasons mixed into one pair of beautiful peepers. He had the brown of autumn, the blue of winter, the green of spring, the gold of summer, all mixed together in those hazel irises. “And he's worth looking for, trust me. He's a good man.”

  “Your boyfriend?” Billy asked with a derisive snort. “I'm sure he is.”

  Warden rolled his eyes as Billy lifted his hands and put his palms against my upper arms. I felt fire race through me and had to check to see if it was metaphorical or literal. With William, it could go either way seeing as how he was a fire elemental and all …

  “He isn't actually,” Warden said, watching Billy run his palms down my arms. “Believe it or not, I haven't been able to get past casual sex for the last ten years.”

  “Eight,” I whispered, just before Billy pulled me in close and crushed my mouth to his. I sort of thought it might be hard … oh, he was hard. But what I really meant was, I thought it might be difficult to get turned on in this environment, with an incubi like … sniffing our every move, and my stomach all in knots about this new guy, my heart all twisted up with an old guy.

  But it wasn't.

  As soon as Billy's mouth met mine, I was lit.

  Subconsciously, I found myself lifting up on my toes, pressing my breasts to Billy's bare chest. My left hand slid right down the flat expanse of his belly and dove into his man-panties, finding him hard and already slick with pre-cum

  Wow.

  He must be really turned on right now.

  My palm slicked over the head of his cock and down, sliding along his shaft. Billy was so excited, I didn't need any extra lube, wrapping my fingers around the base of his dick and biting hard on his lower lip.

  “Firebug …” he warned, flicking his eyes in Warden's direction. “I am in a bad mood right now—don't test me.”

  “Or what?” I whispered, squeezing a little harder and then releasing him, dragging my nails up his shaft and making him shiver. “Or what?”

  “Or this,” he growled, grabbing my hand and yanking it from his beaded undies. Let's just say, the man was on fire (pun intended) when he grabbed me up in his arms like I didn't weigh a damn thing.

  With a naughty smirk on his face—clearly intended for Warden—Billy flipped me around and put me face first into a sex swing. And by face first, I mean he spun me around and dropped me so that my palms hit the floor and the rest of me ended up in the swing. It was just a mess of leather straps bolted into a big metal frame, but … Billy seemed really comfortable with how the contraption worked.

  Like a boss, he strapped my literal ass into the harness so that I was suspended with my palms on the floor. When I lifted them up, I was hanging from my fucking hips and thighs, one set of straps keeping me up and the other, just above the knees, keeping my legs spread in the uh, ready position.

  “Um, Billy?” I asked as he stepped between my legs, the hot heat of his skin scalding the sensitive flesh of my inner thighs. “What are you doing?” I whispered, my heart rate picking up speed, my tongue wetting my lower lip.

  Wow.

  A sexual position I'd never tried before …

  Color me impressed.

  “Fucking you,” Billy answered succinctly, grabbing my hip with one hand and using the other to guide himself to my opening. His slid into me with a long, ragged exhale. “In front
of this piece of shit over here. He may as well see what he's missing.”

  “Oh, no worries,” Warden said, and I heard a sharpness in his voice that, even in my uh, precarious position, surprised me. “I got that memo last night.”

  Billy snarled and gripped my other hip hard, pumping his body into mine, the slight sway of the swing giving us this gloriously easy in and out motion that had my body going limp. As soon as I felt that, the melting of my muscles, the burst of happy hormones in my brain, I relaxed and I discovered how amazing that swing really was.

  And I finally figured out what that metal bar in front of my face was for. My fingers curled around it and I found myself more or less horizontal, but with an effortless ease that didn't take a damn lick of concentration. I got to basically float while Billy pummeled me from behind.

  Okay, so as like, much as I hated CUM, they definitely had the right idea here with this contraption; I was definitely getting one of these swings for the house.

  You know, as soon as me or one of my loser husbands got a goddamn job and could afford one.

  Billy kneaded my hips with strong, sure fingers, pumping into me and lending to my body this gentle swaying motion that seriously rocked (yep, that pun was intended, too) my socks off. You know, if I was like, actually wearing more than just a thong and titty tassels.

  “William,” Warden said, approaching the side of the swing with a seriously large banana in his hammock. “Smokey. Don't you think I'll get in trouble if I don't you know, participate?”

  “You better be fucking kidding me,” the fire elemental snarled, slowing his pace slightly. I didn't like that. I didn't like that at all.

  “We have to stay incognito,” I whispered, my voice a husky, sexy purr that wasn't fooling anybody. I wanted Warden. I wanted Max Cornwall, the hunky college student, back. I wanted my friend back my life. I also, you know, wanted him in my mouth.