Love Everlasting

by Jerrica Knight-Catania

  “Where are you from, Melissa?” Kelly asked as she hung skimpy dresses in the closet. They made me think of my own modest wardrobe of yoga pants and t-shirts, still tucked inside my suitcase.

  “Originally? North Carolina. But I’ve been in New York since college.”

  “Oh, me too! Hey, have you worked with Brian Philmore?”

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  “Oh, you would know!” Kelly erupted into laughter and then chattered on and on about the workshop she did with him in New York. Once she had exhausted all her Brian Philmore stories, she went on to talk about more New York theater people I had never met.

  I did my best to laugh and stay engaged in the stories, but between the heat and my exhaustion from the long drive, I was finding it incredibly difficult. All I wanted to do was lie down in my bed and go to sleep until the read-through that night, but I had a feeling the Energizer Bunny wasn’t going to allow that.

  “Ya know,” I said when I found a brief opening in the middle of a story about some dancer who had passed out on stage due to a lack of calories in her diet, “I think I forgot something in my car.”

  “Do you need help?” she asked, not missing a beat.

  “Nah. I’ll be okay.”

  I walked out the door and sighed, grateful for the freedom. I wasn’t sure how I’d explain my prolonged absence since I truly meant to go for a long walk rather than just grab something from my car. But at that point, I didn’t really care. I just wanted to get out of there.

  Part of me regretted leaving once I walked out of the room into the blazing sun. At least there were fans inside. But I had already committed to leaving, and I knew I’d be better off if I took a walk and got some air, stifling as it was. I walked lazily down the steps. In the distance, I could hear the waves crashing on the beach. Perhaps I could study my script there, make sure I had everything memorized. I grabbed my script from the car and headed in the direction of the ocean sounds.

  After zigzagging around the other apartment buildings and the community’s pool (which clearly, no one cared enough to keep up), I finally found the wooden walkway that would take me over the dunes to the beach.

  The ocean breeze kicked up as I neared the end of the boardwalk. I paused and closed my eyes, letting the cool air wash over my damp skin, reveling in the drop in temperature. I saw a lot of beach time in my future.

  I kicked off my shoes, grabbed them in my free hand and then stepped off the wooden planks. My feet sank into the cool sand and I twiddled my toes a bit. I felt like a kid again.

  The beach was mostly deserted. There was a small crowd further down, camped out near the lifeguard stand. But where I was, it was completely quiet. I moved a little closer to the water and plopped down cross-legged in the sand.

  I was tempted to ignore my script and just spend the afternoon staring out at the boats on the horizon, but with the read-through that night, I wanted to make sure I was ready. With a sigh, I opened my script and started mumbling my lines to myself.

  “Looks like you could maybe use some help,” came a voice from behind me.

  I glanced up, taken a bit off guard, and stopped short when I saw the masculine form silhouetted in the sun beside me.

  “Oh, well … um …” Nice introduction, Melissa.

  “Are you Melissa?”

  My eyes widened in surprise. “How did you know?”

  The stranger shrugged and gave me a sheepish smile. “I’m ashamed to admit, I Googled everyone once I got the cast list. Nice website, by the way.”

  I wasn’t sure how I felt about the fact that he already seemed to know so much about me, but I supposed that’s what a website was for. If I wanted to be a famous Broadway star, I’d have to get used to people knowing more about me than I knew about them.

  “Thanks,” I said. “And you are?”

  “I’m Liam.” He plopped down beside me. “I’ll be your Frank Butler.”

  Oh. The implications of what he said took a minute to sink in. And so did the fact that he was gorgeous. Tall, dark and handsome only covered the basics. He was like a masterpiece, between his bone structure and his stunning green eyes. I surreptitiously glanced down to take in his arms and chest. No question he spent a good amount of time at the gym. So did I, but clearly it wasn’t enough.

  Oh, God. If he was the Frank to my Annie, that meant lots of one-on-one scenes. Romantic scenes. Kissing scenes. I hadn’t expected him to be so good looking, but he was. I would have felt lucky if I hadn’t suddenly turned so self-conscious. My palms went sweaty and I regretted not freshening up my hair and makeup before leaving the room. First impressions were also the last, so now Liam would forever think of me as the ghostly raccoon with the frizzed out hair.

  “That’s … great!” I finally said. “I mean, maybe we could run lines together.”

  “I’d love to.” He leaned over me. The scent of his cologne filled my nose and sent me reeling. I didn’t know what he was wearing, but good God, it smelled amazing. “What scene are you working on?”

  “Well, I was just taking it from the top, but maybe we should do the scene where Frank and Annie first meet.” That would be perfect. Then I could gawk at him and blame it on the script. That was, after all, what the stage direction called for.

  Liam smiled, and we started the scene. He was good. So good it was intimidating. That wasn’t always the case. I had played opposite some really horrible people in the past. I would have been elated about getting to play opposite such a consummate actor, but I was too distracted by the massive crush I was forming on my co-star. I felt like a thirteen-year-old girl, not a twenty-eight-year-old woman. If I didn’t get myself under control, I would end up doing—or saying—something that would embarrass us both.

  By the end of the scene, I was sure there must be drool coming out of my mouth.

  “Hey, that was great,” Liam said, snapping me from my crush-induced trance. “You’ve done a lot of character work.”

  I shrugged and gave a nervous laugh. “Uh, yeah,” was all I could seem to manage.

  “Well, I have a few things to do before the read-through.” He glanced down to my chest, and I was about to reprimand him for being so sleazy. But he surprised me by saying, “Plus, I think you’re getting a sunburn.”

  “Oh!” I put my hand to my chest, and surely enough there was a bit of a sting. “That’s what I get for coming out here with no sunscreen.”

  He smiled softly at me, and said, “I would hate for that beautiful skin to be marred. You be careful, okay?”

  I nodded slowly as he stood up to walk away. Had he just called me beautiful? No, not really. He had called my skin beautiful. But that was a still a compliment, wasn’t it? And now that he’d given it, I was desperate to get out of the sun.

  Once Liam had disappeared down the boardwalk and behind the dunes, I allowed myself a moment of jubilation. I did my “happy dance” in the sand, grateful no one was around to see me. By the time I finished, I was sweating in earnest, so I headed back to the little apartment for a shower and a nap, hoping Kelly would be nowhere in sight.

  *

  The read-through that night went great, and I got to meet the people who would become like family to me over the next six weeks. That was how it always happened. We would do everything together: rehearsals, parties, and of course, the show itself almost every night for four weeks straight. And at the end of it, I would probably only keep in touch with two or three of them. Still, it would feel like family while we were here.

  The cast was comprised of a handful of dancers, another handful of singers, and quite a few who could be called triple threats. I landed firmly in the “singers who move” category. But it didn’t matter. I was Annie, so I could get away with not being the best dancer. This wasn’t Janet Jackson Get Your Gun, after all.

  Following the read-through, the cast decided to head to Point Pleasant for a celebratory drink. We piled into our cars and drove the five miles or so until we hit the traffic coming an
d going from the popular Jersey hang out. The atmosphere was spring break-like. Scantily clad 20-somethings with their hair and makeup done to the nines, hanging on the arms of beefcakes, just like in MTV’s Jersey Shore. Until that moment, I had no idea those kinds of people really existed. I was sure they must have been scripted for the show.

  Apparently, I was wrong.

  We found a cheap parking lot several blocks away from the entrance to the boardwalk, and then walked en masse toward the bright lights and loud music.

  I was trying hard to diversify my attention amongst everyone in the cast, but the only person I really wanted to hang out with was Liam. We sat next to each other during the reading, but there hadn’t been much time to talk. I hoped for more of an opportunity tonight, but so far, it wasn’t looking good. Clearly, I wasn’t the only one who longed for his undivided attention. Kelly walked next to him, her arm looped through his. She tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder every three seconds and laughed way too hard at everything he said.

  I hated that I cared so much. It seemed ridiculous. I wasn’t a young, silly girl, fresh out of high school. I was a grown woman, with my own apartment in New York City. My own car. My own cable bill! Why was I so jealous about a guy I barely knew?

  Because he’s hot!

  How stupid. Who cared if he was hot? He was probably a major player too. Clearly, he enjoyed the company of girls like Kelly, and I was not a girl like Kelly.

  Just as I made up my mind to be a grown-up and ignore my childish crush on him, he appeared beside me.

  “Hey,” he said.

  “Hey,” I echoed. We walked side by side in silence for a moment, before I took hold of myself and said, “You have a really great voice, you know? I’m really excited to work with you.” Oh, God. Was that last part too much? Did I sound over eager?

  “Thanks!” He gave me a smile. Man, I loved that smile. “Likewise.”

  Likewise? Did that mean he was excited to work with me, too? Or that he liked my voice? Ugh. I had to stop this. If it were any other person, I would just take it as a compliment and move on. Instead I was analyzing the microtones he used to say the word “Likewise.” This guy really had me tied up in knots and I had only known him a few hours.

  The group came to a standstill outside one of the many crowded bars along the boardwalk, and apparently Kelly made the executive decision that this was where we were going to drink tonight. Everyone shuffled into the bar, but Liam and I just stood there, staring at the crowd.

  “Should we go in?” I asked awkwardly.

  “Sure. Let me buy you a drink.”

  A drink? I tried my hardest not to read into his offer, but I wasn’t very successful. Not to mention, he kept flashing me that dazzling smile that made me all gooey on the inside.

  Had he smiled at Kelly that way? Was that just his smile, or was he a ladies man?

  I gave myself a virtual slap across the face. There was no way I was going to obsess like this over a guy I barely knew.

  The place was crowded and musty smelling. The lighting was dim, accompanied by colored Christmas lights that I assumed were probably part of the decor year round. People were mashed together, some dancing, others trying to keep their drinks from being knocked out of their hands by the dancers.

  And everyone was in the twenty-one to twenty-five age range, making me feel every minute of my twenty-eight years. What I really wanted was to be back in my room in my pajamas watching reruns of my favorite sitcoms until I fell asleep. I definitely did not want to be in a club, worried about whether or not I might get puked on.

  “What’ll you have?” Liam yelled into my ear as we approached the bar.

  “Amstel Light!” I yelled back. “Thanks!”

  He talked to the bartender and then handed me my drink. I took a long swig of it in an attempt to take the edge off.

  Liam tipped his own beer back and I was mesmerized by the action for some reason. He was so…manly. Maybe I had been in theater too long to be so enthralled with a guy just because he was manly.

  I grappled for something to say, but Liam beat me to it. “You live in the city?” he shouted over the music.

  “Yeah! I’m in Harlem.”

  “You like it?”

  I shrugged. It was sufficient, I supposed. I would have preferred a loft in Soho over my 5th-floor walk-up, but I had made the place homey and most of my neighbors were other struggling actors or students. “What about you?”

  “Queens. I hate it.”

  I smiled. “I would hate that too!” If nothing else, I at least lived in Manhattan. The boroughs had never really appealed to me.

  “Hey, Liam!” I fought the urge to roll my eyes as Kelly bounded up and grabbed onto Liam’s arm. “Come dance with me. You don’t mind, do you, Melinda?”

  “It’s Melissa,” I yelled, but she wasn’t listening anymore. She had already absconded with Liam toward the small square of parquet flooring that constituted the dance floor.

  I was not drunk enough to join in the dancing. And I definitely wasn’t drunk enough to stand here alone, like a loser. I chugged the rest of my beer and then found my way back out of the club. Relief washed over me as I spilled out onto the boardwalk once again, leaving the sweaty crowd and thumping music behind me.

  There were still crowds out here, but at least there was room to move and breathe. And the breeze rolling in off the ocean cooled my damp skin. My t-shirt was moist and sticking to my back, so I fanned it out a bit as I looked left and right, trying to decide which way to go. Since I was one of the designated drivers, I knew the group wouldn’t leave without me. Besides, I had a feeling they would be in there for quite a while. Twenty-one-year-olds had stamina when it came to partying.

  I turned right and wandered down the boardwalk, past arcades and restaurants and a big aquarium. At the end of all that, the boardwalk opened up to the ocean on the right and beach houses on the left. The moon was high and full tonight. It illuminated the still water in the distance and the crashing waves on the shore.

  I could definitely get used to this.

  It was so quiet here. The loud music barely reached my ears from the bars—the waves thankfully drowned it out.

  With a sigh, I leaned against the railing that separated me from the beach and stared out at the water. I hated that I didn’t feel comfortable being part of the party scene anymore. Was I really getting too old for this? The travelling, the uncertainty, the idea that when I went back home to New York, I would be back to my life as a struggling artist? I loved performing, but I hated temping in between jobs. I hated auditioning, especially when it was for the same people over and over again. There were just no guarantees in this business, and at twenty-eight, I was starting to feel like I could use some guarantees.

  “I thought I’d find you here.”

  I jumped and swirled around to find Liam right behind me. “You have to stop doing that!” I said, putting my hand to my heart. “That’s the second time you’ve almost sent me into cardiac arrest today.”

  Liam smiled and joined me at the railing. He stared out at the ocean. “God, this is amazing, isn’t it?”

  “Beats being in the club, that’s for sure.”

  “Not much of a partier, are you?”

  “Did my quick escape make it obvious?”

  Liam laughed. “Yeah, a little. I wanted to make sure you were okay, though. You took off without a word.”

  “Oh.” I wasn’t sure what to say to that. And I wasn’t sure how to read into the fact that he seemed to care about my well being. “Sorry about that. I just thought…”

  “That I wanted to party?”

  I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, Kelly’s really cute.”

  “She’s also barely out of high school.”

  I raised my brows at him. “You’re kidding.”

  “No, I’m not. And I prefer a more…mature woman.”

  Silence fell between us. I had no idea how to respond to that. Was I the mature woman? Or was he sim
ply confiding in me as a fellow “old timer” in this practically infantile cast?

  “Do you like carnival rides?” he asked, catching me off guard with the rapid change in subject.

  “Um, yeah. Sure.”

  “Great. I’ve been dying to ride the Tilt-A-Whirl, but I don’t want to go alone.”

  He grabbed my hand and dragged me back down the boardwalk until we stood in line at the ticket booth. I didn’t have much time to think about what was happening, and before I knew it, I was snapping the buckle shut in one of the Tilt-A-Whirl pods. Liam and I were close together, my entire right side mashed up against his left side. It had been years since I’d been on one of these rides, so I really hoped my beer wouldn’t make a reappearance.

  The ride started, slowly spinning our pod while revolving us around the giant plate beneath us. Within moments, it was picking up speed and soon we were being tossed about as we whirled and swirled, this way and that, whooping and laughing the entire time. It was exhilarating. I felt weightless and free, like I was eight-years-old again.

  When our pod finally came to a stop, Liam hopped out first and then held his hand out to me. I gladly let him help me down, since my head was still spinning and my legs were a bit wobbly.

  “Thanks,” I said as I joined him on the platform. I faltered a little and his hands reached up to grab me by my elbows. We were really close now, and I held my breath, very aware of the tension between us.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah. Fine. That was great.”

  “Wasn’t it?” He smiled and led me down the ramp back toward the boardwalk. “You know what else is great?”

  “What’s that?”

  I followed his gaze to the giant sign that said FRIED OREOS.