Lead Me Home

by Stacy Hawkins Adams

  She wished as much success and happiness for these two young ladies as she did for her own flesh and blood. And somehow, regardless of the school’s policies, she would continue to be there for them, however they needed.

  thirty-one

  Shiloh was still basking in the glow of her Sherman Park send-off when she reached home that evening, prepared to dash inside and cook a light dinner before her only Friday afternoon flute student, a sixth grader named Timony, arrived.

  She had stopped on the way home to pick up a few groceries, and that had led to a full shopping cart and three bags to now unload. Rather than make several trips to the van, Shiloh juggled two bags in one arm and carried the third by its handle. Where were those boys when you needed them? She managed to open the garage door leading into the kitchen and set the bags on one of the granite counters without making a mess. She dashed back to the car to retrieve her gifts from her school colleagues, including the remainder of the red velvet cake and her balloons.

  This time when she entered and closed the door behind her, the scent of spaghetti shocked her speechless. There, atop the stove, was the simmering pot and next to it, a pan of uncooked, buttered garlic bread waiting to be put into the oven and toasted.

  “Hello!” she called. “Who’s been in my kitchen and where is my family?”

  After a few minutes, David came running and hugged her around the waist. “Hi, Mommy! Daddy cooked dinner; are you surprised?”

  Shiloh’s eyes widened. “Your daddy? All by himself?”

  David looked up at her and grinned. “Yes, ma’am, he did. Well, mostly. I helped butter the bread, and Omari helped make the salad.”

  Shiloh scanned the counters in search of a salad, before noting that it was likely chilling in the fridge. “Oh, my,” she said. “What’s the occasion?”

  Randy strolled into the room and jokingly shoved David out of the way so he could lean into Shiloh for a kiss.

  “Daddy!” David protested, but grinned at his parents’ display of mutual affection.

  Shiloh stepped back after the kiss and closed her eyes to do a quick memory check: She hadn’t missed a birthday, or anniversary, or holiday. Was there something she’d forgotten?

  Randy was smirking when she opened her eyes. “No, there’s no special occasion, other than the fact that you’ve ended your substitute teaching stint, and I know it was a special time for you. I thought rather than wrapping up on a “back-to-the-same-old, same-old” note, I’d cook dinner for the boys and take you to dinner and a movie.”

  A slow smile spread across Shiloh’s face, and through her heart. “Really? That is so sweet, babe. Thank you.”

  Randy kissed her lips again. “Let me unpack these groceries, and if you want to change or freshen up, hurry up; we have to grab dinner in the next hour so we’ll have time to catch a late movie, too.”

  Shiloh strode toward the foyer so she could trot upstairs and change, when she remembered Timony. She turned back with a frown on her face and Randy gave her a thumbs-up.

  “I checked your calendar on the side of the fridge and saw that you had Sister Shepherd’s granddaughter scheduled for a lesson this evening. I looked her up in the church directory so she could get word to the girl’s parents that you needed to cancel tonight’s lesson.”

  Shiloh wanted to check this man’s DNA. Randy was occasionally thoughtful, but this was more than usual.

  “Is there something you need to tell me over dinner? Did you get another job offer? Are we moving? Or do you want something else?”

  Randy glanced at David, who was putting the bread she had purchased in the pantry and had his back turned. He nodded at Shiloh and gave her a naughty smile, but kept his voice even. “Oh yeah, I want something alright, a little later. But that’s not the sole reason for taking you out. We just haven’t had a date night in a while, and I think the end of your teaching experience is a good time to celebrate and reconnect.”

  Shiloh grinned at him. “I couldn’t agree more, babe. Give me a few minutes and I’m all yours.”

  She trotted up the stairs and tried to think about what she could quickly change into that was chic and ready to wear. She wanted to look cute for her hubby tonight to show him she was proud to be his wife, and she appreciated him. She wasn’t an official beauty queen like Jade, but if he wanted to treat her like one, she’d happily assume the role.

  thirty-two

  Dinner was fancier than Shiloh had anticipated, but it didn’t matter. Tonight was all about being in the company of the man she loved.

  Randy had taken her half an hour outside of Mequon, the suburb they lived in, to Port Washington, to try out a new seafood restaurant that had received rave reviews. They both loved oysters and clams, and whenever an opportunity arose, they sampled new spots that included those items on the menu.

  This evening, they sat inside a softly lit spot with a fireplace nearby and a tuxedo-clad gentleman on the piano, playing show tunes and other numbers.

  “And this isn’t even rated five star,” Randy said, impressed with both the atmosphere and the food.

  They had just completed their meals and were waiting for the waiter to bring the slice of key lime pie they had agreed to share.

  Shiloh had twisted her long hair up into a chignon, put on her diamond pearl drop earrings, and donned a sleeveless silver silk top with her slacks and heels. Randy was gazing at her as if she weren’t the mother of his four sons and were really hot, and she was enjoying the attention. She reached across the table for his hand, and he placed his palm in hers.

  “We need to do this more often,” he said and squeezed her hand. “You look gorgeous tonight, and you are glowing.” Still holding her hand, he glanced at the charm bracelet on her arm and tapped it. “I think I’m going to have to buy you another charm. Or maybe two.”

  Shiloh glanced at it, puzzled. The only charms she had now were a heart, representing her love for him; one with the birthstones of each of their sons; and a flute.

  “What’s missing?” she asked.

  “I think you know,” he said and looked into her eyes. “One to represent your college diploma. And another to represent your new career as a high school music teacher.”

  Shiloh’s heart beat faster. Was he actually telling her she could pursue her degree and a teaching career? She really did love this man.

  “You know, I have a confession to make,” she said, completely changing the subject. The switch caught Randy off guard, and he frowned.

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah,” she said, and pursed her lips, trying to figure out the best way to articulate what she wanted to convey. She sighed and decided not to try and frame it a certain way, just to say it.

  “You are a good man, Reverend Randolph Griffin, and when you just sat here and acknowledged that you know I want to add a teacher charm to this bracelet, because I’ve fallen in love with the profession and with my students, I realized without a shadow of a doubt that you not only know me, you love me.”

  “Come again?”

  “Randy, we’ve known each other since I was twelve and you were sixteen, when you came to Atchity for the first time to spend the summer with our family. Daddy and Mama fell in love with you and anointed you as the son they never had, and it seemed to me that you didn’t mind assuming that role, since your father was struggling with his own issues.”

  Randy continued to hold her hand, and listened.

  “Before I knew it, you were coming for spring breaks and more summers and sometimes for other special occasions, and then you were professing before the church that God had called you to preach. And then, the summer after my sophomore year, when I came home from France, trying to get re-acclimated to the real world and figure out what I wanted to do with myself, you were there, ready to join Daddy’s ministry, and great marriage material.”

  Her heart beat faster the more she talked. Was she really going to say this and possibly shatter their beautiful evening? She took a deep breath and decided
to take the plunge. At this point, if she didn’t finish what she’d started, she knew deep down that she’d never again have courage to seek out the truth.

  “What are you trying to say here, missy?” Randy squirmed in his seat.

  Shiloh looked him in the eye and continued softly, lovingly. “I knew that summer when I came home that you were looking for someone special to settle down with, and while you and I had dated off and on for a year before you proposed, I always wondered whether I just happened to be in Atchity at the right time and in the right family, or whether Daddy asked you to pursue me, or whether you looked up one day and decided I was the one for you. I know you love me, but I admit, that has always been a question.”

  Randy seemed surprised, but not stunned. “Why are you bringing this up?”

  His response left her cold, but she pushed forward. “Because your actions tonight, including understanding that I want to finish my degree and teach, touched me deeply. I felt like for the first time in all these years that our marriage wasn’t just something convenient, because I happened to be your surrogate father’s single daughter and perfect preacher wife material. I felt like you love me, because of me, and I love you for that. Thank you for offering to add those charms to this bracelet someday. I’ve been worried about whether I’ll have your support in wanting to return to school. I appreciate your being willing to let me take this journey, babe.”

  Randy stared at her for a few minutes before raising her hand to his lips and kissing it. “I have always loved you, Shiloh. You are the mother of my four sons, my helpmate, my lover, my most trusted friend. I didn’t choose to marry you on a whim, and I’ve never regretted it. Have you?”

  Randy didn’t deliver an eloquent speech or the warm and fuzzy response that countless romantic movies had conditioned Shiloh to expect, and she was a little disappointed. Was it true that her dad had suggested they marry and he didn’t want to admit it? Was his marrying her a calculated move? This conversation wasn’t allaying those doubts. But what she heard her husband saying was that he was here, and he was hers, and he loved her, and regardless of what had been his motivation all those years ago, he was thankful that she was his queen, and he would honor her.

  Shiloh filled in with words what her heart told her his eyes, and his actions, were conveying. She wanted to lean across the table and kiss him. Instead, she did the next best thing—utter a gift to him.

  “I have never been disappointed, Randolph James Griffin, and the day I married you is a day I will never regret. I love you, baby, more than you know.”

  thirty-three

  Shiloh’s weekend had started off memorable, with the send-off from her students and colleagues on Friday, capped off with a special night out with Randy, and she thought it couldn’t get better. This morning, however, she realized the last Sunday in October would go down in history as well.

  When Monica, her father, and her grandmother approached the altar to become members of St. Stephens Baptist, Shiloh wept as if her own kin were being saved.

  “We live together, do everything else together, Pastor,” Monica’s dad, Claude, said to Randy and the congregation. “It’s time that we come back to church and worship together. Your wife isn’t a minister, but she has been such a blessing to my daughter over the past two months that I’ve seen a change for the better in Monica. Mrs. Griffin didn’t talk a lot about God at school, but she invited Monica here to St. Stephens Baptist, and she always took time out to show she cared. That was God’s love in action, and we want to fellowship here so we can begin to do the same.”

  The congregation reacted to Claude’s comments with tears and a standing ovation. Some of the male church members left their seats and came forward to personally welcome him and his family.

  “We all welcome you, Brother Claude. Your daughter, your mother, and you will be led closer to God and loved on by his people here,” Randy assured him. “We embrace all three of you with open hearts and open arms. We aren’t a perfect church, because imperfect people abide and worship here. But we are trying to bring light in the midst of darkness, and so we live, love, learn, and hopefully encourage each other along the way.”

  Randy turned toward Shiloh, who was sitting in the second row still dabbing her eyes with a tissue. He stretched his hand toward her, and Shiloh rose from her seat and approached him and Monica and her family. When she reached his side, Randy clasped Shiloh’s hand in his.

  “Most of you all know my wife is a gifted musician, and some of you know that in September and October, our own Brother Carter gave her an opportunity to serve as a long-term substitute teacher in one of the schools in his school district.”

  Shiloh was taking deep breaths to compose herself while Randy expounded.

  “I hope my wife won’t mind me saying this, but that brief experience changed her life.”

  Shiloh smiled at him, and felt the tears threatening to erupt again.

  “In a good way. She not only fell in love with this little lady here,” he said, pointing to Monica, “she also fell in love with teaching. And she is in the process of applying to several area colleges so she can obtain her teaching certification.”

  The congregation rose to its feet again, with Dr. Carter leading the way, and rendered cheers and applause. Jade, who sat on the opposite side of the aisle from where Shiloh had been sitting, was holding her sleeping son, so she didn’t rise. She pasted a smile on her face.

  “I share this to follow up on what our new brother in Christ, Claude, was just saying,” Randy continued. “Shiloh didn’t go to Sherman Park every day and quote Scriptures or lecture her students about how to do things God’s way. She just listened, and loved on them, and accepted them where they were—just like Jesus did in his day. And when we do that, God will do the rest! This family standing here today, after spending years out of the church, is evidence of that. So this week, when you’re at work, or socializing, or doing routine errands, remember that you carry God’s glory with you everywhere you go. That ‘glory’ is God’s love, power, strength, light, spirit of forgiveness, and pure love, people. When we say, or sing, that we need his glory, that’s what we’re asking for, and the Garrett family is showing us that it is effective.”

  Instead of a swell of “Amens,” Randy’s unintentional second sermon seemed to have struck a chord. There was silence, weeping, and a mood of reflection. Randy ended the service then, instead of collecting offering.

  “Instead of giving monetarily today, this week, give an offering out of your spirit, out of the glory of God dwelling within you. See how much that costs you, and make the sacrifice with a willing, joyful spirit. Some of you will see results right away. Others of you will be planting seeds that you may never personally see sprout and grow. Just know that you are doing your part, and be ready to be ministered to yourselves. Amen, family? Amen.”

  That afternoon, the pot roast and green beans Shiloh had left simmering on the stove at home went uneaten. Monica’s father had insisted on taking the Griffin family to dinner after service, despite Randy’s and Shiloh’s repeated protests. The two of them finally yielded when Monica stepped in to make the case.

  “Please, Mrs. Griffin? I really consider you to be like a surrogate mother to me, and it would mean a lot for you to get to know my grammy and my dad better.”

  Monica, who had abandoned her neo-soul afro without looking back, had her hair pinned up in a side-swept ponytail today, and she looked as cute as a button. She was still drawing attention from the opposite sex, including Omari and Raphael, who suddenly appeared at Shiloh’s side and were urging her not to disappoint Monica.

  “We’ll join you, my friend,” Randy said and clapped Claude on the back. “But I cannot let you do what you’re getting yourself into.”

  Claude looked confused.

  “You can buy my wife’s meal if you want, but you don’t have a clue how much these four greedy, er, growing sons of mine can eat. I’ll cover the Griffin men. If we can agree on that, you choose
the place and we’re on for a family meal.”

  Claude threw back his head and bellowed. “I think I’m going to like you, Pastor Randy. It’s a deal.”

  On the way to their van, Shiloh leaned toward Omari and Raphael, who walked in front of her. “Sorry to burst your bubble, boys, but don’t get your hopes up about Monica,” she said. “First of all, she’s fifteen and not interested in younger boys. And didn’t you hear her? We’re family. You couldn’t date her if you wanted to.”

  The boys’ faces fell and for a split second Shiloh felt guilty for shattering their fantasies.

  Only for a second, though; they were too young to be getting hung up on girls anyway. Now Lem, on the other hand, might be just the right fit, Shiloh mused. But just as quickly as the thought flitted into her hopes, it fled. Lem’s heart was still in Alabama, with his friend Lia, and maybe the only thing that would change that would be another summer at camp, where they couldn’t dress up their flaws or annoying habits or spots of immaturity as well as they could online or in a video chat. Shiloh wasn’t worried yet, but if Monica caught his eye, she just might look the other way.

  thirty-four

  On her first Monday morning in weeks that she didn’t have to teach, Shiloh heard God loud and clear, and although she had a million excuses that she knew were valid and sensible, none of them could stand up to his command.

  She lay in bed after her morning devotion, praying and listening, and when the notion dropped into her spirit that she needed to reach out to Jade, she opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. She must have interrupted God’s flow and unintentionally interjected Jade into her thoughts. What else could have put Miss Diva on her brain?