Dodge the Bullet

by Christy Hayes

  “Arrest? On what charges?”

  “Attempted arson, for starters.”

  Chapter 24

  Sarah woke to the steady beat of Dodge’s heart. Each night when she joined him, she made sure to be considerate of his injuries and stay on what had become her side of the bed. But sometime during the night she’d shift, or he’d shift, and by morning their limbs tangled and her head rested comfortably on his fuzzy chest. The methodical whump-thump, whump-thump of his heart sounded like music to her ears. She had to suppress a sigh of pure happiness.

  In the five days since Dodge was released from the hospital, they could wake and face each day knowing that her land and his cattle were safe. Kimberly had been questioned and released after backing up the information Dodge and Sarah had given the Sheriff. The last time Sarah spoke to Tommy, Kimberly had already arranged an interview with the small university in Westmoreland. Burwick confessed to setting up the arson and had negotiated a deal with police for cooperating in a federal investigation of Fred Saxton. Life on the ranch had settled down considerably.

  The time she spent with Dodge felt natural and made her happy. They’d wake in each other’s arms and often make love before breakfast. Miguel rode a grumpy Dodge around in his truck, careful to keep his leg elevated as much as possible while Sarah continued to work on her novel between housekeeping, grocery shopping and entertaining the frequent visitors from Dodge’s family and various members of the community. He’d become something of a hero in Hailey for stopping the arson and implicating Senator Burwick. The resulting federal investigation put a halt to the Cooper development that had threatened the valley's livelihood. Seemingly overnight he’d gone from the town’s punching bag to its most celebrated citizen. His newfound celebrity seemed as much a part of his moodiness as his general lack of mobility.

  Often guests would bring by meals and stay. While Sarah enjoyed getting to know Dodge’s family and the people of Hailey, she often found herself fighting back a wave of resentment for the intrusion on what had become their diminishing alone time. The boys were coming home in two days and Dodge planned to go back and live with his dad. Sarah couldn’t imagine having to behave as they did before, sneaking around like a couple of love struck teenagers. Except now, in everyone’s minds but her sons’, she and Dodge were a couple. Addressing their relationship with Kevin and Lyle had caused her more than a little trepidation the last few days.

  Mornings spent lying in Dodge’s arms felt like borrowed time. She nuzzled her face against his chest and felt him stir beneath her. She wondered, as she often did, if he felt the emotional ties between them strengthen in the past week. They'd agreed to a casual, no-strings relationship that had slipped toward more with the forced intimacy of living together, however temporary. He didn't cringe when she called him A.J., but smiled when she whispered in his ear. In the glow of daybreak, he joined their bodies with unbearable tenderness. How in the world would she let him go?

  ###

  Dodge had had it with the well wishers who’d spent countless hours talking mindless drivel to him over the last five days. He could barely get away from them of his own free will. He’d disappear with Miguel for a few hours, determined to escape the commotion and then somehow, when he’d least expect it, he’d feel a need to be with Sarah so strong it frightened him.

  Maybe he felt drawn to her because he knew it was only temporary. Maybe it was because he hadn't expected to enjoy spending so much time together. He never thought he’d share his life with someone again and then, bam, there they were, sharing meals, longing glances over unwanted company and long, lingering hours of love making whenever the whim hit. The hardest thing to admit was that he didn’t want it to end. When Kevin and Lyle came back in two days he had to pack up and go back to his dad’s house and things would be back to the way they started. The way they were supposed to be. But if living apart was the way it should be why did he feel so damned depressed?

  After one such afternoon of escaping with Miguel, he’d hobbled back into the cabin and found Sarah at her computer, a small furrow in her brows, her hands frozen over the keyboard waiting for the words to write themselves. Just the sight of her filled him with a yearning that almost took his breath away. He’d meant to touch her shoulder, let her know he was home. He found himself massaging away the tension in her neck. Her sighs and purrs of satisfaction urged him to use his mouth and teeth and then he just let his hands wander until they were in bed, just as they’d been a few hours ago.

  “You’re really good at this.” Sarah said, the slick slide of her voice was music to his ears. “Much more thorough than last time.”

  “Yeah?” Dodge nuzzled his stubbled beard over her bare skin. She smelled good, like lavender and clean mountain air. “I’ve been doing some research.”

  “Research, huh? Anyone I know?”

  Dodge chuckled and thought of the countless hours he’d spent reading after stumbling across a dusty box in the garage. “Quite well, as a matter of fact.”

  Sarah’s head came up off the pillow, her eyes narrowed in an accusing gaze. “Care to explain?” Dodge fought a grin. Half the fun was getting her riled. Dodge slithered his body over hers and pinned her hands above her head.

  “I’m waiting,” she said.

  He released her hand, leaned over, lingered when the movement made her gasp and slowly opened the drawer of the nightstand.

  She glanced at the book in his hand and lifted her brows. “This is your research?”

  “There’s a lot of good stuff in here.” He pulled out one of her novels from atop the pile he’d stacked in the drawer, moved to her side and pulled up a pillow to prop his head.

  She yanked the book from his hands and looked at the cover, flipped through the worn copy. “Did you read these or just thumb through to the dirty parts?”

  He took the book back from her and opened to a dog eared section. “I’ve read these, thank you very much. And I’ve decided I was right.”

  “I'm afraid to ask.”

  “That the stuff in your books is stuff you like, or at least that turns you on.”

  “For someone who was so embarrassed by this before, you certainly have changed your tune.”

  “It wasn’t relevant then. Now it is.”

  “I see.” She moved atop him. He lifted the book above her head but made no move to put it down. “So tell me what you’ve learned.”

  “Well, one thing’s for sure.” He laid the book aside and grabbed her hips to ease the ache that thrust against her. “When we get the chance, we’re going to make love outside, possibly even in public.”

  Sarah threw her head back and laughed.

  “Thanks to you, my reputation in this town is a little too clean.” He continued after noting her sensual shiver at his suggestion. “I figure getting caught having my way with you ought to restore my image.” She’d healed him. Not just his body but his reputation and his relationship with his family. Thanks to her, he was a damned upstanding citizen and he didn’t feel right in his own skin. But he wanted her too much to work himself much past annoyed.

  She moved to take him inside her, caused his mind to blank. He slowed her movements and started talking again, albeit not as steady as he was before. “Know what else I learned?”

  “I think you can just show me now.”

  “I’ve got to tell you because there’s an awful lot of talking going on in all these sex scenes you’ve written and I’m trying to see if that’s necessary.”

  “You didn’t pay attention.” She sat up to pull him deeper into her. “The talking stops when the action gets good. And we’re at the good part.”

  Dodge looked at Sarah, her hair disheveled and rolling over her shoulders that glistened in the light coming in through the half drawn shades. He plucked her nipples between his fingers and watched her green eyes drift closed as her head swayed back. How had he let her get so tangled up in his life?

  Every time he was with her he wanted to touch her, every time h
e touched her he wanted to be inside her and when he was inside her he never wanted to let her go. And that scared the hell out of him. Somehow she’d become so much a part of his life that he couldn’t remember what it was like before she was around. Except he knew it was going to be damn lonely without her now.

  “What’s wrong, Dodge? Now that you know all my secrets, you’re not interested anymore?”

  He threaded his fingers through her hair and pulled her face down to his. He could see his reflection in her eyes. “If only that were true.”

  ###

  Sarah dropped Dodge at his dad’s before she set off to Denver to meet Kevin and Lyle at the airport. She snaked her arms around him and nestled against his chest. The moment she’d dreaded had come and she felt anxious for all the things they'd left unsaid.

  Dodge scowled over her head at the farmhouse. “I feel like a sixteen-year-old sneaking back home.” He lifted her chin with his finger.

  “Hope your daddy’s not watching,” she said with a lightheartedness she didn’t feel. When she touched her lips to his, she wanted to curl into his lap and never let him go. A deep, dull ache settled in the pit of her stomach.

  Had she really thought she could enjoy his company without getting attached? She should have known better. She’d been attached even before she’d touched him and now that she’d touched him and lived with him, it was time to face the ugly truth. She wasn’t the kind of woman who could have casual sex and not become emotionally involved. She never had been. Todd had been her only lover and she’d given him everything. She didn’t know how not to give her heart along with her body. She’d given everything to Dodge without even realizing it.

  She pulled back before she gave in to the overwhelming urge to cry. Dodge studied her face with a furrowed brow before flashing his crooked grin. She stroked his jaw and raked her fingers over his day-old stubble and fought against the lump in her throat. She leaned over and kissed him before turning back to stare out the windshield.

  Dodge gave her arm a squeeze. “Be careful on the drive.”

  ###

  Dodge watched Sarah drive away with a clutch in his belly. As the dust from the truck settled back on the drive, he picked up his suitcase and limped inside his childhood home. His leg felt better, if not a little stiff. He had to remember to elevate it during the day now that Sarah wouldn't be around to nag him all the damn time.

  The elephant they'd avoided all week had settled itself firmly in the center of his chest. He was in love with her. He should have told her, he thought maybe she felt the same, but he’d chickened out and let her drive away. He wished he could call her back and they could start over. Instead of the two of them clearing the air and facing their future together, she was off on her own, just as she’d come to town. He knew she was scared of her feelings and scared of how her sons would react. If he’d told her how he felt, they could have worked out a way to break it to her kids together instead of her driving all the way to Denver and hiding everything they’d come to mean to each other.

  The screen door screeched and slammed behind him as he entered the house.

  “A.J.?”

  “Yeah, Dad, it’s me.” He rolled his suitcase to the bottom of the stairs and joined his dad in the den. He eased onto the couch in the same room he’d watched TV in for the first eighteen years of his life.

  “Didn’t think you’d be back.” Donnie spoke over the drone of a cable news station. He wore faded overalls and a befuddled expression.

  Dodge ran his hands over his face. “Don’t really want to be.”

  Donnie methodically flicked through his favorite channels. “She kick you out?”

  Dodge pushed himself from the couch that hadn’t fit him since he was a teen. “Kids are coming home. I’m going to shower. You eat yet?”

  Donnie looked up from the TV. “Can’t wash away what you’ve got, son.”

  Dodge stopped in the doorway and turned around to face his father. “What?”

  “Don’t see why you’d want to. Woman like that, opens her home to you and her heart.” He shrugged and cast his eyes on Dodge. “You’ve spent your whole life running, A.J. Just ‘cause something's scary doesn’t mean it’s bad. Just means its worth enough to take note.”

  Wasn’t it just like his dad, Dodge thought, to whittle everything down to its basic elements. Black and white. Right and wrong. Could it really be that simple?

  ###

  Sarah wiped a tear from her cheek and felt like slapping her face. Why was she crying? It wasn't like she wouldn't see Dodge every day just like she always did. But now that she’d acknowledged that she loved him, she felt scared. He admittedly didn’t do relationships, although she'd like to know what he'd call the last seven days. She’d just dropped him off at home…and he’d let her.

  He didn’t feel about her the way she felt about him. He cared about her, felt some weird sense of responsibility for her, but love? No. No matter how she approached their situation, she just couldn’t see Dodge loving her and letting her love him. He’d given her his body and she may have managed to work her way under his skin, but there was a big difference between getting under his skin and getting into his heart.

  As she approached the airport, she decided to stop pouting and focus on the positive. She’d loved and lost with Todd. Although losing him was the hardest thing she’d ever gone through, she had made it through. She'd not only lost her husband when he died, but she lost a big part of herself: her identity, her life partner, and their plans for the future. Thanks to their move to Colorado, she’d managed to forge a new life for herself and her kids. She knew she could love Dodge without losing herself the way she had with Todd.

  The love she felt for Dodge was an unexpected second chance and she wouldn’t feel ashamed at having feelings for him just because he couldn’t return them. And she wouldn’t pressure him to return her feelings. He’d been clear from the very beginning about what he was capable of giving. It wouldn't be fair to punish him because she’d broken her word and let her feelings slide into love. When he walked away, she knew the pain would recede with time and she’d eventually look back on what they had fondly.

  She parked and made her way inside the sprawling complex. The only sticky part was the boys. While it might be okay for her and Dodge to have a sexual relationship, they couldn't flaunt it in front of the kids. But her kids were old enough to figure out what was going on between her and Dodge. She felt a ball of resentment form in her belly as she waited by security for any sign of her sons.

  If Dodge had been open to having a relationship with Sarah--a committed relationship--there’d be no need for secrecy. They'd still have to be discreet, but they wouldn't have to conceal the physical aspect of their relationship. A sexual fling with a man she had no future with was, in her mind, paramount to condoning her kids to have sex with whomever they wanted, damn the consequences. And damn it, she’d raised her sons better than that.

  “Mom!” Kevin shouted. He nearly plowed into an airport employee shouldering his way through the crowd. Lyle lagged behind with a contemplative look on his face. Kevin hugged her, a big bear hug that left her thrilled and slightly bewildered.

  “Hey, I missed you two.” She pulled Lyle into a hug when Kevin let go. “How was the lake?” She surveyed them from head to toe. “No injuries that I can see.”

  “The lake was great,” Kevin said. “Grandad let us knee board every day and Lyle and I started doing jumps.” He barely took a breath as she led them to baggage claim. “This one time, when I was boarding, I caught a big wake and got turned a little bit sideways, and then just went with the momentum and did a full twist. It was so cool.”

  Sarah felt encouraged by Kevin’s reception. He was happy to see her and happy to be home, but Lyle acted so out of character she felt a stab of anxiety in her gut. She thought she'd heard some hostility in his voice each day but had brushed it off as his usual impatience with the phone. But now she knew she'd been correct and he zeroed in on her
suspicions when he spoke.

  “Where’s Dodge? I thought he'd be here.”

  So like Lyle to get to the heart of every matter. “He’s working. He’s had to take it easy for the last week and the doctor finally gave him clearance to go back full time.”

  “Tell us about what happened again,” Kevin pleaded. “The whole thing from start to finish. I still can’t believe a senator tried to torch our barn for water. It just doesn’t make sense.”

  Sarah sighed. “I’ve told you a thousand times what happened. Why do you want to hear it again?”

  “It’s just so cool. I talked to Shiloh a couple times last week. She said Dodge is like a big hero now. Even her dad agrees.”

  “BFD,” Lyle whispered under his breath.

  Sarah stopped and whipped around to face her youngest son. “What did you just say?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Using that kind of language is not okay.” Sarah lifted his chin so their eyes could meet. “Do you understand me?”

  “Yes, Ma’am.” He walked in silence to baggage claim and then on to the truck. The only thing that kept her from screaming was Kevin’s constant chatter about their adventures on the lake. She was glad they’d gone. Not only did it keep them out of harms way, but it seemed to have kept them both highly entertained. Maybe if she couldn’t get Lyle to admit his feelings, she could needle them out of Kevin.

  “So how is Dodge?” Kevin asked when they hit the interstate. “His leg heal okay?”

  “Yeah.” Sarah glanced in the rearview mirror to see if Lyle was interested. “He’s practically good as new.”

  “Is he still staying at the house with you, with us?” Lyle asked. He held her gaze in the mirror.

  “I dropped him at his dad’s this morning.”

  “Where’d he sleep?” Lyle asked.

  Sarah stared out the front windshield as her pulse pounded in her ears. “What?”

  “What bed did Dodge sleep in?” Lyle slowly enunciated every word in the sarcastic tone he'd learned from his brother.