Secrets & Surrender

by L. G. Castillo

  “I don’t think your parents would appreciate it if stuck my tongue out at you during brunch.”

  He took hold of my hands, pulling me into his chest. My heart never failed to skip a beat when he did that.

  “Maybe.” He grinned, his perfectly shaped lips edged closer to mine. “But I wouldn’t mind you trying to stick out that tongue again now that we’re alone.”

  Pools of hot amber seared through me as his hot breath hit against my lips. And for a moment, I was lost in them. “Well, if you don’t mind, then neither do I.”

  His lips pressed against mine, his tongue sliding over the seam of my lips. Eagerly, I opened my mouth. I melted into his strong arms as his tongue explored every crevice inside my mouth. Eagerly, I stroked the inside of his mouth, and he groaned. I wriggled against him, trying to find relief from the throbbing in my lower body.

  His lips trailed down my throat, and I gasped for air. “We need to go.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Really, Nic.” I bit down on my lip as his fingers unbuttoned the top of my blouse.

  “Um hmm.”

  “We’re already,” I gasped when his lips brushed against the top of my breasts, “late.”

  “Five more minutes,” he mumbled.

  “Nic, I want . . . oh my God, Nic . . . I want to make a good impression on your parents.”

  Lifting his head, he groaned. “You really do know how to spoil the mood.”

  “Don’t worry.” I slid a finger down his muscled chest. “We’ll pick up where you left off later.”

  “Promise?” He grinned.

  “You bet.” I winked and turned back to the car.

  “Wait, I have my letters. Do you have yours?” He pulled out a stack of envelopes from inside his jacket.

  “Yeah.” I reached into the front seat. Nic and I had saved up the admission letters from the colleges we sent our applications. It was his idea to open them all at the same time.

  As we tore open the letters, my face fell. I was accepted to all the Texas schools I had applied to, but not one had offered a scholarship.

  “Bad news?” He brushed a finger over my cheek.

  “No, I got in. But no scholarships. You?”

  “Yeah, I got in.” He looked down, his foot playing with the dirt road.

  “That’s great, Nic! Where?”

  “Princeton, Columbia, Stanford, and Texas University.”

  Each college he named off was like a blow to my chest. It wasn’t that I wasn’t excited that he got in everywhere he’d applied. I knew he would. The only Texas school he’d applied to was Texas University. Though I got accepted to Texas U, there was no way I could afford it without a scholarship. And with Nic’s choice of colleges, why would he stay in Texas when he could go Ivy League? It suddenly hit me that I wasn’t going to see him anymore.

  I swallowed thickly. “That’s wonderful.”

  “You have one more to open.” He pointed to the unopened envelope in my hands.

  “Yeah, it’s from Southwest Texas State.”

  “Well, open it.”

  “I’m afraid.”

  “You, afraid? Never.” Grinning, he nudged my arm. “It’s going to be good news. I can feel it.” He took the letter from my hand and placed it against his forehead. “Yep, you got in, and you’re getting a full scholarship.”

  I laughed, snatching it away from him. “You can’t know that.”

  “Well, open it and prove me wrong.”

  Nervously, I tore it open. “Oh my God. OH. MY. GOD!” I squealed, flying into his arms. “They’re giving me a full ride!”

  He caught me and swung me around. “That’s my girl. I knew you could do it. I guess that means we’ll be official Southwest Texas State Bobcats in the fall.”

  “What do you mean ‘we’?”

  His eyes twinkling, he slipped out an envelope from his back pocket and waved it. “I opened this one yesterday.”

  I snatched it out of his hand and glanced down at the SWT letterhead. “You sneaky bastard! You applied to SWT without telling me?”

  He grinned. “I wanted to keep it a surprise. Are you surprised?”

  “Yes! But you can’t possibly be considering it. Not when you got into Ivy League schools.”

  “I want to be where you are. Is that wrong?”

  “Yes, well, no.” My heart screamed at me to be selfish and to take the gift he was offering. He wanted to stay with me. My head was saying, “Don’t be stupid. Stick to the plan. Let him go.”

  “You’re parents won’t like it. They’ll want you to go Ivy.”

  “Well, we’ll see about that.” He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. There was something different in his kiss. It was firm, demanding, as if he was determined that we would stay together.

  And somewhere deep inside of me, I was afraid I wanted the same things he did.

  chapter 14

  Mandi

  Nic’s house was insane.

  It wasn’t even a house. It was a freaking mansion hidden by a long, curving, tree-lined driveway far from the main road. I knew Nic’s parents had money, but not this much. The driveway was paved. Paved! No one could afford that around here.

  Stepping into the opulent foyer, which, by the way, was the size of my house, I’d never felt so out of place in my life. And what was worse was the startled expression on Nic’s parents’ faces the moment they saw me. I thought maybe I’d accidentally gotten some oil from the car on my face, but when I passed by a large ornate mirror on the way to the dining room, I looked fine.

  I sat at center of the monstrosity of a dining room table in an equally monstrous sized dining room, trying hard not to gawk at the lavish spread: crystal water goblets, linen napkins, silver forks and spoons. Why the hell were there so many forks? You only needed one. You could pick up the same food with a tortilla that you could with a fork and it was way more delicious.

  I was surprised I could eat anything with Nic’s parents throwing me strange glances. With Mrs. Marcelli sitting regally at one end and Mr. Marcelli at the other, all I could do was stare straight ahead, hoping I wouldn’t vaporize under their laser like glares.

  Having Nic sit directly across from me didn’t help either. He was so quiet. I wasn’t used to seeing him like that. I could see how his parents were so intimidating. I kept telling myself that they were regular people, no different from my parents, except for the designer dress . . . and the expensive looking suit . . . and the diamond earrings the size of marbles that Mrs. Marcelli was wearing.

  “Uh, so will Bianca be joining us soon?” I was dying in this uncomfortable silence with only the noise of forks clinking on plates.

  “She’s in New York for the weekend, visiting friends,” Mrs. Marcelli said.

  I balked. For the weekend! I could only imagine how much that would cost. The plane ticket alone was probably worth more than my car.

  As if hearing my thoughts, Mrs. Marcelli grimaced, marring her perfect features. Her eyes then flicked to the side, looking over my shoulder.

  “More orange juice, Ms. Ruiz?”

  I jumped at the soft voice that spoke over my shoulder. “Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks, Mrs. Lopez.”

  Having Maria Lopez and her husband, Roberto, wait on me was totally weird. When my family had first moved to Koppe, it was the Lopez’s who had helped my mom and dad find work. Once in a while, Maria would help watch after Selina and Miguelito when I had to stay after school to catch up on schoolwork. That stopped after they started working for Nic’s parents.

  “Te ves muy linda,” Maria murmured into my ear as she poured my drink.

  Instantly, I relaxed at Maria’s compliment that I looked pretty. I sure didn’t feel like it today, not with the way Mr. Marcelli kept eyeballing me.

  “Gracias,” I whispered my thanks. Smiling, she patted my shoulder. Funny how a friendly touch could help you feel at ease. That is, until reality slapped you in the face in the form of Mrs. Marcelli’s soft regal voice.

  “Than
k you, Maria. That is all.”

  I turned to Mrs. Marcelli, taking a real good look at her for the first time and realizing how different she was from my own mother. Carefully styled blond hair was swept off her flawless face into a chignon. She sat with perfect posture as manicured hands, that had probably never seen a day of hard labor, slid a spoon into a bowl of grapefruit. Green eyes narrowed at Maria, communicating a silent reprimand. Maria nodded, scurrying out of the room.

  My mouth dropped open. What was that?

  Nic gave me an apologetic look, not saying a word as he turned his attention back to his meal.

  Poor, Nic. What kind of family doesn’t talk to each other? It felt so cold. At my house, meals were nonstop chatter, mostly arguing, but at least we talked. Mr. Marcelli sat with his nose glued to the Wall Street Journal while Mrs. Marcelli flipped through some decorator magazine.

  “So, Mandi,” Mrs. Marcelli dabbed the corners of her mouth with a linen napkin, “Nic tells me that you received the last of your college acceptance letters yesterday.”

  “Uh, yeah. I mean, yes, we did.”

  “Perhaps you can enlighten us as to where our son will be going this fall.” I cringed under the intense weight of Mr. Marcelli’s cold brown eyes. “Apparently, he received all of his letters last week and wouldn’t open them until you got all of yours.”

  “It’s not Mandi’s fault, Father.” Nic’s nostrils flared. “I said I would—”

  “I’m in the middle of conversing with Ms. Ruiz, Dominic.” Mr. Marcelli’s voice boomed.

  “Nic,” I whispered softly. I didn’t want to be the reason they argued.

  His face softened when his eyes met mine. He nodded and turned to glare at his father. I let out a breath, leaning back into my seat.

  “Ms. Ruiz, you were going to answer my husband.”

  How did she do that? Mrs. Marcelli’s voice had a soft lilt that someone could mistake as kind, but the words came out as a command rather than a question. I was so wrong about them. They weren’t like normal people. These people were so out of my league.

  I reached out for my water goblet, my mouth suddenly dry under the intense stares from Nic’s parents. My hand trembled as I took a sip. They’d asked me a simple question, and I was already shaking. Despite what Nic said, I knew his parents were going to freak out if I told them he wanted to go to SWT with me.

  “Uh, yes, Nic was accepted into Princeton, Columbia, and Stanford. Oh, and Texas University, of course.” I forced a smile. Please don’t ask me which college he wants to go to.

  “As expected,” Mrs. Marcelli said to Nic. “I knew you would be a success just like your father. You simply needed to apply yourself.”

  “Mandi’s the smart one, Mother. She got into all the schools she applied to as well. And she got full ride to SWT.” He beamed with pride.

  “Yes. Yes. That’s nice.” Mr. Marcelli waved a hand, dismissing Nic’s words. “The question remains, Dominic, where will you be attending this fall?”

  Nic gazed at me, a huge smile on his face.

  Don’t say it. Please don’t say it. My eyes pleaded with him.

  “SWT,” he breathed with excitement.

  The room grew still as two pairs of enraged eyes flew in my direction.

  “W-W-We discussed this, Nic.” I gulped. “You can’t go to SWT when you have all those Ivy League schools to chose from.”

  Mrs. Marcelli let out a breath. “You were right, Dominic. Ms. Ruiz does possess a certain amount of intelligence. Surely, you can see the wisdom in her words.”

  “Stop, coddling him, Veronica.” Mr. Marcelli pushed his plate aside and leaned toward Nic. “We’ve been much too lenient with you. I’m calling Princeton’s admissions office today. There. Done.” He pushed himself away from the table.

  “Don’t bother.” Nic’s voice was strained as he spoke from gritted teeth. “I’m going with Mandi to SWT.”

  “Nic, your parent’s are right. I mean, SWT is a good school, but Princeton. It’s like . . . wow. No one turns down a school like that,” I said quickly.

  “I agree. Princeton is a much better fit for you, dear.” Mrs. Marcelli stood from the table and went to him, kissing him on the head. Then green eyes flicked up, gazing at me with cold politeness. “Now, a place like SWT is nice for people like Ms. Ruiz. I’m sure she’ll do well there.”

  “Mother!” Nic’s hazel eyes widened.

  People like—

  I blinked. Did she really just say what I thought she said?

  “Watch your tone, Dominic,” Mr. Marcelli said. “You’re mother is speaking the truth. The demographic data doesn’t lie. There are far more people like Ms. Ruiz attending SWT than Princeton.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Mr. Marcelli went on and on about why only certain people could get into places like Princeton and Columbia and why others went to state schools like SWT. He even made a point of saying that although Texas University had a more diverse student body, people like me dropped out after the first semester, proving that we would be better off at schools like SWT.

  People like me.

  People like me!

  I closed my eyes, fighting away all the nasty thoughts I was having about Nic’s parents in my head. I must’ve heard them wrong. They probably meant people who couldn’t afford to go to college. That would make sense. Princeton was really expensive.

  Everything inside of me screamed that Nic’s parents were just as I saw them. I knew exactly what they meant. I’d seen it in their eyes the moment I walked into their home and how they’d glared at me as soon as they took in my features.

  I swallowed thickly, opening my eyes to the truth. No matter what I did to make myself look more like them, smoothing my hair, dressing up with a pretty blouse, I was never going to be them. All they saw was a poor brown girl who wasn’t good enough for their son.

  I was right all along. I should’ve ended it with Nic after our first date. It was never going to work. We were just too different.

  “You’re parents are right. You should go to Princeton.” My voice shook as I pushed myself away from the table. “Mr. and Mrs. Marcelli, thank you for the breakfast, er, lunch . . . brunch.”

  “Mandi!” Nic yelled as I fled out of the room.

  I flew down the front steps to my car, praying that it would start up before Nic could catch up with me. I couldn’t look at him. I’d break if I had to see his handsome face. I had to make a clean getaway.

  “Mandi! Wait!”

  I ran faster at the sound of his voice. “I have to go, Nic. It’s over.”

  Just as I placed my hand on the car’s door handle, his hand slapped over mine. His touch sent a river of pain into my chest, knowing that I’d probably never feel his touch again.

  “My parents are idiots. They don’t know what they’re saying.”

  I stared at the ground, staring at his brown leather oxfords. Tears rolled down my cheek and plopped onto the pavement. “They know exactly what they’re saying.”

  He placed a finger beneath my chin, lifting it until my eyes locked with his. “I’m not my parents. I don’t see you the same way they see you. I see an amazing, smart, insanely sexy woman who loves her friends and family deeply.”

  “Don’t, Nic. It won’t work for us. You’re just making it harder.”

  “It will work. I promise. I’ll do whatever it takes. Can’t you see how much I care for you? You’re the last thought in my mind when I fall asleep and the first thought when I wake up. There is no one else. You’re the only person in the world who knows the real me. I can’t see my life without you. Please, Mandi, don’t give up on me just because of my stupid parents.”

  I took a deep breath, bracing myself for what I had to do. “It’s over, Nic.”

  His handsome face contorted with an anguish I’d never seen before.

  “I won’t let you,” he croaked.

  I looked away. I couldn’t bear to see the heartbreak on his face. I wanted to take back everything
I’d said and bury it. I wanted to caress his cheek and tell him we could take over the world as long as we had each other.

  I couldn’t. I cared too much for Nic to let our relationship tear him away from his family. I had to go. I knew I had to. So why wasn’t I moving?

  Don’t look up. Leave. Now.

  “It’s over.”

  He gripped my arm when I yanked the car door open. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t care for me. Tell me it was just a fling for you and I’ll let you go.”

  Slowly, my eyes drifted up. His eyes were filled with love and loss and hope and dreams. They were the dreams for our life together. And as much as I’d fought those dreams, I knew deep down inside that I had lost. I’d lost my heart to man from a world different from mine, a world of designer shirts, brunches, and fancy cars; a world I couldn’t understand; a world that would never accept me.

  I opened my mouth to tell him I didn’t care for him. It would’ve been a lie. Somehow I could convince him to believe the lie. I had fought him off for a long time. I could do it again. It should’ve been easy to lie. But when his hand gently caressed my face, his thumb wiping away my tears, I couldn’t.

  “Damn you, Nic! Damn you for making me fall for you!”

  I shoved him away and jumped into the car. Miraculously, it started, and I sped off, tears streaming down my face.

  I peaked into the rear view mirror, watching Nic vanish, my heart breaking with every mile I drove away from him.

  chapter 15

  Nic

  “You had no right to treat her like that.”

  I fumed as I watched my parents sit in the den, acting like it was a normal Sunday and that they hadn’t run off the most beautiful and loving person on the face of this Earth.

  Father’s head snapped up from behind a newspaper. “Watch your tone, young man. You will show us respect.”

  “Respect? You want me to respect you after you made an ass of yourself in front of the woman I love?”

  Mother gasped, a ring-laden hand flew up to her throat.