Secrets & Surrender

by L. G. Castillo

  I froze, my eyes blazing. “Love me? Love me!”

  “Yes, I love you.”

  “Well, fucking Kristie sure is strange way to show it.”

  “Knock it off, Mandi,” he growled, shaking me. “You know she’s just a friend.”

  “Yeah, right. A friend. More like a fuck buddy.”

  His hands tightened before dropping them to his side. “Look, Mandi, I know you’re mad, but I’m not going to let you talk about Kristie that way. She’s been nothing but a good friend to me and to you.”

  “Now you’re defending her?” Incredible.

  “Do you even want to hear what happened?” His voice was angry now.

  “Hmm, do I want to listen to your lies? Gee, Nic, I don’t know.”

  He scowled. “What is wrong with you? This is not the Mandi I fell in love with.”

  “Oh really.” I placed my hands on my hips. “I don’t know which Mandi you think you were dating because I’m the same person. I fight back when someone steps on my turf. If you hurt my family or friends, then you have to deal with me. I’m not some silly preppie bow-head you can run all over.”

  “The Mandi I know is loving and passionate. And most of all, fair. She gives the people she loves the benefit of the doubt.”

  I gulped, gazing into his hazel eyes, reading between the lines. “Well, maybe there is doubt.”

  “You’ve never had it before. At least, I don’t think you have.” His face twisted, and his voice turned soft as he approached me. “That is, until Julian.”

  I sucked in a breath, my heart pounding in my chest. “He has nothing to do with this.”

  “I think he does. Remember the Psych 101 class we took in the summer? Projection?”

  Somewhere in the depths of my memories, I recalled the professor saying something about psychological projection.

  Crap! Was I putting my guilt over Julian onto Nic?

  “Puhleeze, psychology is full of crap. Beside, that has nothing to do with it.” Who was the liar now? “He didn’t tell you to sleep with Kristie.”

  He paused for a moment, studying me. It was as if he was wondering whether he should press me on the Julian issue or not. I braced myself.

  “I didn’t sleep with her. We were at the frat party, and some guy was manhandling her and she fell in the mud. I took care of the guy and got muddy in the process.”

  I let out a breath. A part of me was relived he wasn’t going to go there; the other part wondered why he didn’t. His eyes were so sincere. There wasn’t a hint of deception behind them. I knew he was telling me the truth. I felt it.

  “Uh-huh.”

  “And then she barfed all over me.”

  I blinked. “She what?”

  His lips curled into a grin. “You know, puked, upchucked, hurled—”

  “Okay, I get it.”

  “Spewed, tossed her cookies, tangoed with the toilet—”

  “I get it, Nic.”

  “Burped to the ninth power—”

  “Nic!” My lip twitched.

  “Okay. Okay. I was about to drive her home when she turned green. I didn’t want her to ruin the upholstery so I helped her out of the car and she hurled all over me. I brought her to my dorm room so she could clean up. And she hurled again in the living room.”

  “That’s why it smelled so funky in there.”

  “Yep, that was all her. The only thing clean that would fit her was the shirt you gave me for Christmas. And well, I have no more clothes now that they’re scattered all over the parking lot.” He held out his arms so that I could take a good look at him.

  There he was, standing in the middle of Sewell Park wearing wet blue jeans and a pink polka dot midriff with spaghetti straps.

  I choked back a laugh. I didn’t want to laugh. That would mean I was happy. And I didn’t want to be happy. I wanted to be mad.

  He chuckled. His laugh was contagious. I couldn’t help myself and I started laughing too.

  “It’s only a few hours until my eight o’clock class. Do you think I’ll be dry by then?”

  “That’s the least of your worries. I’m pretty sure sexy midriffs like that are against the dress code.” I plucked the strap, snapping it against his muscular chest.

  He chuckled, taking the blouse off and tossing it aside. “Maybe I can find a shirt in the parking lot.”

  “I just saw Steve. He probably has a handful of them hidden in his closet by now.”

  He clutched his stomach, laughing even harder. “At least I never have to worry about air conditioning in my car. I have permanent air conditioning in the winter and heat for the summer.”

  I laughed so hard, tears streamed down my face. “Nic, I’m so sorry.”

  He pulled me into his arms as we laughed. He nuzzled his nose into my hair, sighing. His relief was so touching my laughter turned into sobs. “I’m sorry about your car. I’ll figure out a way to get the money to fix it.”

  “Shh, don’t worry about it.” He rubbed my back in calming circles. “You’re more important than a stupid car. And about Kristie.”

  “I don’t want to talk about her right now. I know you’re just friends with her.” He might only be friends with her, but there was definitely something more on Kristie’s side. I would deal with her later.

  Brushing thoughts of her aside, I snuggled into his chest and listened to the beat of his heart.

  “Mandi, there’s something I need to ask you.”

  His unspoken question lingered. We were back to where we had started.

  “Julian . . .”

  “Nic.” I popped up, grabbing hold of his neck and pulled his lips to mine. He hesitated, his lips stiff. I kissed harder, putting everything I had into the kiss. He had to know that I loved him. It was him I wanted to be with . . . only him.

  “Mandi.” His voice was raw with emotion. His ducked his head, keeping his face hidden.

  “Nic. I want you. I need you.” I ran my hands down his chest, tracing each line of his muscled abs with the tip of my finger, and then, finally, reached down to caress the growing bulge in his jeans. His hand latched onto mine before I could touch him. In one swift move, he grabbed a handful of my hair and tugged gently, lifting my head up to him. I sucked in a breath at the heat in his eyes. There was something different. It was raw, carnal.

  Without a word, he gathered me in his arms, lifting me.

  “What are you doing?” I squealed.

  He pushed his way through the brush to a hidden grassy clearing. Placing me on the ground, he hovered over me, and his hazel eyes smoldered. “Fighting for you.”

  “I don’t underst—”

  Lips crashed down onto mine, and he thrust his tongue into my mouth. I loved his taste, all hot and spicy and completely Nic. I immediately felt my body responding to the savage way he was kissing me. Our tongues swirled together in a foreshadowing of what was to come. I nibbled his lower lip, and he gently sucked my tongue, causing me to moan with delicious desire. Making love with Nic had always made me feel like I was being worshipped by him with tender touches and gentle kisses. This was different. This was raw heat. He was demanding. Possessive. And I loved it.

  Wrenching his lips away from mine, hungry eyes locked with mine for a moment before he came back to devour me all over again. This time he left stinging little nips along my jaw and on my insanely sensitive earlobe, but then he gently licked and nuzzled his way down my neck and over my collarbone, soothing the little hurts he’d caused. Shoving my tank top and bra up, my nipples immediately pebbled in the cool night air. His tongue slowly circled my nipple, teasing me with his scorching touch. Moaning, I thrust my fingers into his dark hair, holding him to me as he used the flat of his tongue to lick over the stiff peak of my breast and then sucking it into his warm mouth. The stubble of his chin scraped against my sensitive skin as he moved to my other nipple, giving it the same exquisite treatment.

  Lust-filled eyes looked up at me as he kissed down the center of my chest. Holding my gaze, my
body trembled as his hot wet kisses traveled down my stomach until he reached my shorts. Before I knew it, my shorts and panties were at my ankles. I flicked them off impatiently. I wanted him now. When I reached out to unzip his jeans, he took hold of my hands and placed them at my side.

  “Not yet,” he growled.

  His hands slid down my thighs, coaxing my legs to open for him. The throbbing intensified when I realized what he was going to do. His head dipped between my legs and he licked up my center. The moment his tongued touch my most sensitive place, I cried out as electricity bolted through my body. Again, I buried my fingers in his damp hair, arching my hips and moaning in pleasure as his tongue plunged into me over and over again. My legs trembled as I got close to the edge, throbbing with desire.

  “Nic, please,” I begged.

  I needed him in me. I needed to feel his heat.

  He pushed his head further between my legs, using his tongue over the bundle of nerves at the center of my being. Then his fingers pushed into me, and I cried out with pure pleasure, lifting my hips at the exquisite sensations pulsing through me.

  Lifting up on his knees, Nic licked his lips and then his fingers before slowly sliding down the zipper of his jeans as his feral eyes held mine. When his hard length pressed against my core, he let out a groan that made the throbbing between my thighs more intense. He mumbled under his breath, so softly I could barely hear what he was saying.

  “You’re mine. I won’t lose you.”

  Moving his hand underneath my back, he lifted my lower body and plunged himself into me in one swift motion. I cried out, digging my nails into his soft skin, reveling in the feel of his hard body against mine. He pumped into me hard and fast until I couldn’t hold back anymore and I tumbled over the edge into bliss. I was in free fall, helpless in his arms, as my body shattered over and over again with his thrusts. Just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore of the delicious sensations coursing through me, he let out a groan and shudder, causing me to cry out one last time as the first rays of light peeked over the horizon.

  chapter 27

  Mandi

  Acting like a douche had its perks.

  It’d been days since I’d seen Kristie at the Tutor Zone. Huge perk there! No more listening to what sounded like The Chipmunks on helium. I knew she had a big algebra test coming up and she didn’t even come in once. I think she was afraid to show her face. And she should’ve been. Really, running around naked wearing only my boyfriend’s Christmas gift was so not cool. I wanted to go to her dorm and give her a piece of my mind. I wanted to demand that she tell me what kind of game she was playing.

  Then the sensible part of me felt bad that she was afraid of me. Deep inside, I knew she wasn’t playing games. She honestly wanted to be friends with Nic and me. I knew she had some lingering feelings when it came to him. How could I blame her? Every time I walked across campus with Nic, dozens of female eyes, and some guys, had their eyes glued on him. The man was gorgeous, funny, and kind-hearted.

  Yeah, I couldn’t blame her one bit.

  The tutoring center was filled with anxious students who were about to take the semester midterm. It was going to be a busy day. I headed to my cubicle, hoping to see Kristie there. I had to admit I was worried about her passing her exam.

  I dumped my backpack onto the desk, glanced up at the clock, and wondered if I had time to call Cassie. It’d been a long time since I’d talked to her.

  No, Cassie had her own stuff to worry about with the baby coming and Cody adding on an extra room to the house. With all the crazy that had happened this semester, hearing about Cassie and Cody expecting a baby was definitely welcome news. I couldn’t wait to see her over spring break.

  I didn’t have to call. I knew exactly what she’d say about this. She’d tell me to give Kristie a chance to explain herself and that I was being stubborn. And she would’ve been right. Oh well, the final dress rehearsal was this evening and everyone was going to be there except Nic. I didn’t press him about it. I knew it was torture for him to watch me dance with Julian. He didn’t tell me to stop, and I didn’t bring it up. Besides, the show was tomorrow and then the mess with Julian would be over. We could put all of this behind us.

  I went to the front desk, looking over the list of names, when Mrs. Henley rushed over. “Ms. Ruiz, come with me.”

  “What’s going on?” I asked as she walked me to her office.

  She paused in front of the closed door. The blinds to her office window, which were normally open to make sure that none of the tutors were slacking off, were closed. “Are you in trouble?”

  “Trouble? With what?”

  “I have a Mrs. Marcelli in the office waiting for you. The university president himself escorted her here. He made it very clear that I was to do whatever Mrs. Marcelli asked.”

  Blood drained from my face. “Is it Nic? Did something happen to Nic?”

  I’d just seen him after breakfast. Steve, wearing a shirt that looked suspiciously like one of Nic’s, took him to a dealership in Austin to check up on the Porsche repairs.

  Oh my God! Maybe they were in an accident. I pushed my way passed Mrs. Henley and flew into the office.

  “Is Nic alright?”

  Mrs. Marcelli sat on the edge of a frayed leather chair, her shoulders held back in perfect posture. Her golden hair was perfectly coiffed into a chignon, and her cream colored designer suit was a sharp contrast to the clean, but rundown, office decor.

  “Mrs. Henley, may we have some privacy?”

  “Is there anything I can get you? More coffee?”

  “No, this is fine.” She lifted the cup in her manicured hand.

  “Mrs. Marcelli, please tell me what happened. Is Nic alright?” My voice was frantic now. Why was she sitting there so calmly?

  “Sit,” she said after Mrs. Henley closed the door.

  “But, Nic—”

  “He’s at the dealership. The mechanics managed to fix everything from his unfortunate incident.” Piercing green eyes held mine as she took a sip of her drink.

  She knows. I sank into the seat.

  “Dominic’s story about a storm with golf ball-sized hail hitting his car is very—what should I say—creative.”

  “Uh, yeah. It was crazy, having an isolated storm like that. That kind of crazy weather happens in Texas all the time.”

  “I’m sure.” She set the cup down on the desk. “Though, that’s not why I’m here.”

  I gulped, wondering why she was here. I was afraid to hear the answer.

  “Dominic’s father and I were hoping this little fling with you would be over by now.”

  I bolted up straight in my seat, anger burning in my chest. “Excuse me? We’re not a—”

  “I haven’t finished,” she snapped. “And yes, I said fling. Oh, I can see why he’s attracted to you with your alluring, foreign qualities.” Her eyes scanned over me. “You’re the forbidden fruit, and he’s rebelling against family. I’m sure it all has its excitement.”

  I balled my fingers into fists. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was the brunch all over again. This time I wasn’t going to take it.

  “Look here, Mrs. Marcelli, I’m not putting up with your prejudice bullshit. You can leave right now.”

  Her green eyes turned into thin slits as she narrowed her eyes. “You don’t want me to do that just yet.”

  “Yes, I do. Look, I’m grateful that you helped my dad find a job, but I’m sure as hell not going to put up with your crap.”

  “I take it that your father likes being employed and being able to put food on the table for your family?”

  I sucked in a breath at her innuendo.

  “Well, does he?”

  “Yes,” I breathed.

  “Well good. It’s always nice to have stable employment. I hear your father is very well liked at the factory.” She leaned back. “I’m hoping that you’re grateful enough to at least listen to my proposition.”

  Against my will,
I nodded. I knew what she was going to say, even before the words left her mouth. But even knowing didn’t take away the intensity of the pain as each word slammed into my chest.

  “I want you to stay away from Dominic. Break up with him.”

  “I can’t. He won’t let me. You know he won’t let me. I’ve already tried before.”

  “He will if you convince him that you don’t love him.”

  Tears stung my eyes. “That’ll kill him.”

  She let out a breath. “Yes, he’ll be hurt for a while. But Kristie will be by his side to help him. She’s such a sweet girl and from a fine family. She’s much more suitable for Nic. Things like broken car windows didn’t magically happen when Kristie was with him.”

  “Nic’s not in love with Kristie.”

  She waved a hand dismissing me. “That will come in time.”

  “No, I can’t.” I stood up and headed to the door. “I can’t hurt Nic like that.”

  “You already have.”

  I clenched the doorknob, the truth piercing my chest. She couldn’t know. It wasn’t possible.

  With my back still to her, my words come out slowly. “What are you talking about?”

  “I’m talking about you being in love with someone else. I believe his name is Julian Fuentes.”

  My heart leaped into my throat. Guardedly, I turned, preparing to deny everything.

  She took one look at my face and her lips curled into a wicked smile. “Then it is true.”

  “I-I-I . . .”

  “Don’t try to explain yourself. It doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care who you lust for as long as you stay away from my son. His father has been approached by a number of highly influential politicians. There’s talk about putting him in the running for the next gubernatorial campaign. And I will not have you bringing scandal to our family.”

  I blinked, only half hearing what she was telling me. How did she know about Julian? Did Nic tell her?

  “Really, it’s the best for everyone. You must admit, in your heart, you knew it would never work out. So you’ll think about breaking up with Dominic?”