The Widow's Friend
Page 17
So goodnight, Calliijo from head to toe. I’m thinking of you and I’m awaiting your return. I don’t know if you can read my e-mails but I’ll send them every day anyway. Your ever lovin’ friend, Levi
***
From Callii Wilson (One hour later)
Hello my friend, it’s been Disneyland from open to close today. Tomorrow who knows? I am so tired.
I am getting your e-mails. That’s how I keep going. I’ll try to write more tomorrow.
Good night to you from Calliijo, tired girl from head to toe.
From Levi Stone
Jan 10th
Hi Callpurnia Jo Von Rothstein Wilson, plus a few former names added in just to salt the stew. I think you might just add a J for distinction, or maybe a Lyn because you’re so feminine, or maybe a D for Disneyland, or maybe an S for Stone, just to make me happy. Now I know that Stone is not nearly as exotic as all those other names you have swirling around your pretty little head. But it’s a good solid name. It’s an old English name that means rock, and that’s quite substantial you know.
I think you should not write me much at all on that little p-shooter of a phone you carry around. A simple good night will do. That’s all I need to keep me happy. I know that you’re busy and tired, and have no time at all on your hands, and I know we think of each other all the time anyway. But still, don’t get me wrong, I would love a line or two from you each day.
So today for you was:
A. Fun
B. Hectic
C. Too long
D. Too short
E. Tiring
F. The best day yet!
G. Wild
H. All of the above
Today for me was another day at the salt mines, pretty average, but I’ll take average any day at my job.
You seem distant to me since you left, but only in a physical kind of way. I guess there’s a reason for that. But it’s a bit disconcerting knowing that you’re not just thirty minutes away.
I hope all is well down there. I feel calm and peaceful that it is. You’re such a good little woman, whatever could go wrong? Someday we’ll talk about your kids and how they get along with each other, someday when you’re ready that is.
Well, I’m gonna sign off now. Not much to say, just in a waiting kind of mode—waiting for you.
Your distant pen pal, Levi
***
From Callii Wilson (Two hours later)
It’s just another day in California—beautiful weather. I wish you were here, Granny
P.S. All of the above.
***
From Levi Stone
Jan 11th
It was three degrees above zero this morning. The old trusty truck started up, but only grudgingly so. Have fun today. I’ve gotta’ go back to work. I’m home having lunch right now.
Levi
***
From Levi Stone
Jan 11th
Hi there, sugar cookie. I have a feeling that you’re loving it down there in California, and I’m still jealous. Great weather, great kids, good times—you lucky little woman. I’m sure you have your moments of fatigue and stress, but overall I bet the good times are rollin’. Up here it’s cold, cold, cold, but it will probably ease up by the time you return, speaking of which, I’m not sure which day you’re coming home. I’ll go to weather.com and check it out for you. Let’s see, Wednesday thru Saturday, nothing but sun and warm temperatures. Now I’ll check Utah and Idaho for your drive back—nothing but sun for the same timeframe. What a good little planner you are.
Well, I have nothing exciting to report. I have had no more dreams about you, I have not traveled to Rexburg, and I seem to be treading water right now. I could use a little excitement. Maybe I’ll go in and rotate my sock drawer.
A fleeting comment, “Do you know why divorce is so expensive? Because it’s worth it!”
It seems I’m struggling to feed you your emotional meal today. I guess it’s tougher to hold a conversation without much feedback from the other side, but I’m not complaining, you’re doing great! I just don’t have your witty and sensitive little comments to respond to. We’re in different worlds this week. I can only imagine yours, and of course I do.
And so goodnight, traveling Grandma. I hope Mattie has been a delight, along with all of the others that are with you.
Waiting for your return, Levi
P.S. Granny is the only name I’ve found that doesn’t fit you. After all, you’re not 90 yet. And soak up the sunshine while you’re down there girl, you’re gonna need it when you get back.
***
From Callii Wilson (Fifteen minutes later)
Hello my brrrrrr friend, I am sitting out at the pool and it is 7:43 p.m. That’s 8:53 your time. It is a bit chilly out, but not too bad. The kids love it. They keep splashing me and I am fully dressed. Today we went to Long Beach to an aquarium, and then tomorrow it’s back to Disneyland. I think I am headed home on Thursday. Mattie is having problems with both her behavior and physical needs so I am cutting it short a bit. Other than that everyone has been great. I need to end it now, but thanks for your e-mails.
Goodnight from the hot mama. I mean hot like warm, not hot like I think I’m hot. I mean…what do I mean?
From Levi Stone (Ten minutes later)
Oh, you’re hot!
Good night, Levi
***
From Levi Stone
Jan 12th
Hi girlfriend, I just glanced at your picture on my computer. Your face is imprinted on my computer as well as my mind. That’s just the way it is. Mary just passed me in the hallway and I thought, I really would prefer someone taller. Imagine that.
Last night, just before going to sleep, we were lying there in the dark and I said, “Where would you go if we got a divorce?” I got no reply, not even crickets chirping. Then she rolled over and faced the wall in her customary position. I wonder what she thought. I don’t know if she was shocked or just ticked off like she always is. If you look up anger in the dictionary there’s a picture of Mary in there.
I didn’t sleep much last night so I reached out for Mary about four a.m., but she never did give it up. So I got out of bed and got ready for work. She sent me an e-mail in the middle of the day. It said, “I just can’t get past the name calling this time.” Remember I told you I called her a shrew awhile back. The truth cut her to the bone. The only reason I tell you this is because you’re as vested in the future as I am and I would think you would like to follow along a bit. I don’t tell you things to be mean, just to keep you in the loop. Tonight, I’m ready to crawl in to bed and curl up in the fetal position.
Do you have flannel pajamas that you sleep in? Mary wears them all the time in the winter and it’s almost like facing off with me and saying, “Don’t even think about it, sucka!” I wonder how I would like sleeping in flannel pajamas? I’ve never even considered it.
I have a hard time imagining being in Disneyland right now, mainly because I’ve always gone there in the summertime. I’ve literally been there ten times, and once to Disney World besides, but always in the summer. I hope Mattie was good today so that your last day there was great. It sounds like it’s been a good trip. Good luck on your drive tomorrow, and drive carefully please. I once wrecked my car because I fell asleep at the wheel. I was so embarrassed I didn’t tell anybody about it for years. I wouldn’t let Mary tell anyone either. It’s just another story in about a million stories I have to tell. And I’m sure you have more stories than I do party girl.
If you’re like most folks you’ll plan on leaving early tomorrow but won’t get away as early as you would like to. I expect you to get home late in the day. My emotions have been all over the place while you’ve been away. Highs and lows, periods of zoning out, like I’m on an anti-depressant or something. I sometimes think of Marty McFly in the movie “Back to the Future” when the band is playing Earth Angel. His future parents are dancing and he’s fading in and out of reality as he waits for them to
kiss. I’ve faded in and out a bit too. I miss you.
I haven’t tried to send too much romance stuff since you’ve been down there. I have this fear that one of your kids might grab your phone and see something that might embarrass you. I’ve been a bit afraid of harming your reputation lately. I deserve what I get for anything that I do, and I really mean that. A man has to stand by his actions. But I sense you really don’t want to be attached to breaking up a marriage, whether you’re responsible or not, and I don’t really blame you. I can imagine that you have a bit of a reputation because of your past, some deserved and some not so much. I’m sensitive to that too, and don’t want you to be harmed. Where do you feel the most pressure: your dad, your kids, the church, your friends, or all of the above?
Anyway, I really do want you to know that I’m concerned about that. And to reconfirm, this bad marriage thing of mine has been brewing for many, many years. Right now just happens to be the culmination and the now or never time to act. And we both know how this whole thing between you and I started, but I’m still not sure why. And come to think of it, you have probably blabbed more with others than I have, so watch your tongue girl!
I can hear mom’s words of advice ringing in my ears right now, “Levi, you know what you have to do, so do it!” That’s exactly what my mother would say.
I have a new clock in the family room. It’s a small memento for my ten years of service at work. It goes off on the hour with some chimes. It sometimes startles me how quickly an hour has gone by. It’s eight o’clock right now. I probably ought to end this but it’s only seven o’clock in California. You could very probably still be in Disneyland, but you may want to get Mattie and yourself to bed early tonight. Again, please drive carefully.
And so Jo Jo, I’ll be here waiting for you. And always remember, I’m just thirty minutes away. And so finally, goodnight to you girl, and give Mattie a little kiss for me.
Forever and ever amen, Levi
***
From Callii Wilson
Jan 13th
Hello my Friend, I am home. Yea!!!!!!!! It has been a very long day of driving. I started out at 6:30 this morning, our time, and I got here about 6:30 this evening. We only stopped for gas and potty breaks. Val was about 2 and 1/2 hours behind me and Eric went to the beach this morning. He is only coming as far as Salt Lake City. I had “had it” with little Mattie so I decided to get her home as soon as I could. She was beyond terrible on this trip. I don’t know how that little one thinks or why she acts like she does. I really tried not to react to her bad behavior, but that didn’t work, nor did anything else. The rest of the kids were so very good, though. They made up for her I guess. You asked if my kids get along. The simple answer is yes, they are all best friends and they really enjoy each other’s company.
Now that I am home I have a million and one things to do. I need to get working on the house so I can have it ready to sell. There are lots of things to finish up so that I won’t be embarrassed to show it. I ordered some cupboards for the upstairs attic space so I can turn it into a craft area. I need to go and pick them up. Do you think I can install them myself? I guess all I can do is try. I don’t want to spend any more money than I have to because I am going to be losing money on the deal—lots of money. I have been very stupid spending so much money on this old house in this rundown neighborhood.
I have been thinking. Flannel is a slap in the face, huh? I love my flannel sheets. They are so warm and cozy on a cold winter’s night. I tried wearing flannel pajamas with flannel sheets once. It’s like being in a flannel board story. You stick to the sheets and can’t move.
You also stated that you woke Mary up at four in the morning for recreational purposes. I would shoot you, and so would 99% of the women out there. Sooooo, I am beginning to think that she is the normal one, and you my friend….
I think I am going to wait to see your reaction to my last statement before I go on. You may not want to talk to me again.
Happy to be home, Callii
***
From Levi Stone
Jan 14th
Well, Sister Wilson. I’m certainly glad you showed your true colors before I did anything I might regret. I must inform you that I totally disagree with your 99% comment. Frankly, about half the women this side of eighty would be happy to receive a little sugar at four o’clock in the morning, or any other time of the day for that matter. It seems like the other half have peaked out and don’t think that way anymore. They’ve become cold and shuttered up, like an old haunted house, with only ghosts from marriages past floating through the hallways of their minds. I’ve peeled off flannel many times over the years and will do so many times again. Thanks for educating me about the real you, granny. As for me and half the women out there, we’ll take our sugar anytime we can get it, and we’ll always be grateful for it. So stay warm in your flannel sheets, Callii!
Your former hopeful number five, Levi
P.S. You need to get a boy or two to help you hang those cabinets. They may or may not know how, but they can help you with the heavy lifting. I still love ya girl, but I couldn’t let you get away with that cutesy remark.
Still your friend, Levi
Chapter 27
“Apprehension”
It had been three days since I’d heard from Callii and I was beginning to get nervous. Maybe I had overstepped my bounds a bit with the haunted house comments. She had recently told me that it takes a lot to offend her, but maybe she can’t take a punch as well as she’d said she could.
It was Monday, late, and there was not an e-mail in sight. I’d checked three times already and the night was wearing on.
I was fearful. I didn’t think Callii had a clue how much I liked her, indeed loved her, though I’d tried to tell her so many times.
Callii was the light of my life. She had dug in her heels and resisted me over the whole time that we’d talked, but only for the right reasons. She was so wonderful I could hardly think of anything else.
I had just enough strength and resolution to wait for her reply, but there was nothing else that I could really do. The next move was up to her.
Chapter 28
“From out of the Blue”
Levi had stunned me. I was just getting back from Disneyland and was so looking forward to seeing him again, but that e-mail he’d sent. Did he mean it? He seemed to have. He’d sent a postscript to try and smooth it over, but the message was so hurtful—he’d cut me to the bone. I needed to think things over. Maybe this is what I needed to set me straight, get me back on track, and reorient myself in the right direction. Once I was able to step back and realize what was going on it became readily apparent that I had needed to. Levi was a married man and I was a widow, and it was only too obvious there was danger there. I was lonely and he’d said he was too. Why hadn’t I seen it before? Probably because I didn’t want to, I guess. He was so nice, and he made me feel so good, but still, he was a married man. I needed to gather myself, straighten out, and end this thing. How had all this started, and what was I doing talking to him in the first place? But he was so…good, and I liked him so much, but the facts were the facts. I would sleep on it a bit and settle my mind. But I already knew what I needed to do, in spite of the feelings that I had for him. I began to cry. Levi had hurt me terribly. My heart ached. I seemed to hurt from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. I wet my pillow with my tears, and sleep just wouldn’t come.
From Callii Wilson
Jan 17th
Good evening Brother Stone, it’s Monday evening and time for a little talk again. How are things going for you? Good I hope. Things here have been a little too interesting. I woke up yesterday morning to a flooded basement. It started in the guest bathroom with a faulty flex pipe. The water must have run all night. Today I had workers tearing my house apart. It is not fun. I wonder if it will ever be the same again.
You probably think I have been ignoring you lately, and I guess I have. I owe you an apology for the l
ast email I sent you. I guess the disadvantage to email is you can’t detect the tone it is intended to give off. I didn’t mean to be cutesy. I just thought, why four o’clock in the morning, when there are so many other hours that are so much better. It is really none of my business and I am so sorry.
Now I would like to get some things straight. First of all, I never intend to remarry. I am sorry if you got the idea that I wanted to. I do know that I told you that, but you said you would try to convince me otherwise. I am so glad that by ending things now you won’t regret anything except maybe wasting a little time on me, and I hope you can figure out what you want to do with your life. I do suggest you end what you have before you move on to someone else, if that is what you decide to do. It is only fair to Mary and whatever other person that you fall in love with. I know I am preaching, but it is our weekly Monday night chat, so it is okay.
I am surprised and hurt that you would call me a peaked out, cold, and shuttered up like an old haunted house, with only ghosts from marriages past floating through my mind, kind of a person. I have always considered myself a very passionate woman. I have given all of that a lot of thought the last few days and I still think I have it in me, but that is for me to find out when the time is right, and with the right person. I have to admit that you did some very creative writing there though—you really know how to hurt a girl!