Honor

by Sherryl Woods

  “Is that really the problem?”

  “It is a lot of it,” she admitted. “Every time I think that I’m ready to bring everything out into the open, I remember the way you looked in that intensive care unit. I caution myself to wait, just a little longer, just until Linc pronounces you fit again.”

  “Is that what you meant this morning when you said it was too soon for us to make love?” Kevin asked, his expression oddly hopeful.

  “Yes. Then you took it wrong and the next thing I knew we were shouting. If only we could do this calmly and rationally, but unfortunately there’s too much hurt and anger.”

  She couldn’t miss his sigh of regret at her words. “What’s going to happen to us, Lacey?” he said.

  “We’re going to survive all this,” she said with sudden certainty. “If we can face it, if we can finally begin to be open and honest about our feelings, then we’ll survive. We just have to be patient.”

  “Not one of my virtues, I’m afraid.”

  “No,” she agreed with the beginnings of a smile. “But maybe it’s time you learned a little about patience, for more reasons than one.”

  He reached for her hand and this time she took it and held on tight.

  “You’re the best reason I can think of, Lacey,” he said quietly. “The very best.”

  Lacey felt her heart climb into her throat. “Maybe we should make a pact.”

  “We seem to be doing a lot of that.”

  “But this one could be the most important of all.”

  “What, then?”

  “Could we pretend, just for a few days, that everything is okay between us? Maybe that would take the pressure off. As it is, we’re too demanding of ourselves. Every conversation turns into some sort of cross-examination or psychoanalysis. Maybe we should just forget about all the problems and just be ourselves, have a little fun. We can save the serious talk for later.”

  Kevin looked skeptical. “Isn’t that a little like hiding from reality?”

  Lacey laughed. “It’s a lot like hiding from reality, but so what? Nobody’s on a timetable here, right? There’s no law that says we must resolve every last problem by a certain date, is there?”

  “I guess not,” he said slowly. “I don’t suppose this plan of yours includes moving back into the master bedroom?”

  She stood up and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Don’t push your luck, pal.”

  “Medically speaking, you mean?”

  His arm curved around her waist and tumbled her into his lap. Lacey gazed up into eyes that were suddenly filled with laughter. Serenity stole through her then, for the fist time in days.

  “Medically speaking,” she confirmed softly just before Kevin’s mouth settled over hers in a kiss that was filled with tenderness and promise.

  That was the way Jason and Dana found them, still at the kitchen table, still wrapped in each other’s arms.

  “This is an improvement,” Jason commented approvingly from the doorway.

  “Jason,” Dana muttered urgently, tugging on his arm. “Leave them alone.”

  Lacey laughed. “Too late,” she said as she stood up. “How about a game? Scrabble? Cards?”

  “Cutthroat Scrabble,” Kevin said with a hint of his old enthusiasm. They had spent many an evening engaged in just such battles before the age of video games.

  Jason looked from his father to Lacey and back again, then nodded in satisfaction. “I’ll get the board.”

  “And I’ll get the snacks,” Dana said.

  Jason groaned. “Don’t let her, Mom. The only things she likes these days are pickles and brownies.”

  Lacey patted her son’s cheek. “Don’t worry. We’re fresh out of both.”

  “Don’t be so sure,” Jason retorted. “I’m relatively certain that’s what she brought out here in that extra suitcase.”

  Kevin stood up. “Maybe I ought to get the snacks.”

  This time it was Lacey who groaned.

  Kevin grinned at her. “Calm down, my love. There’s enough celery and carrot sticks in the refrigerator to feed an army, to say nothing of one pregnant lady, one recuperating man and two nervous nellies.”

  The first word Lacey played on the Scrabble board was joy. It might not have earned as many points as some others she could have made, but it was definitely the one that best summed up the way she was feeling as she was surrounded by her family once again.

  From the warm, tender expression in Kevin’s eyes when he caught her gaze, it was a feeling he understood—and shared.

  Chapter Twelve

  Having Jason and Dana around did indeed take off the pressure, Kevin realized on Sunday. Witnessing his son and daughter-in-law’s happiness spun a web of serenity around all of them.

  Slowly he and Lacey had relaxed. Like old friends rediscovering shared interests, their laughter came more easily. And the looks they exchanged were filled with open awareness, rather than carefully banked accusation.

  When they stood in the driveway to say goodbye, his arm curved naturally around Lacey’s waist. And when Jason’s car was out of sight, it seemed just as natural that their hands met and laced together.

  “Feel like a walk on the beach?” he asked, reluctant to go back inside and risk spoiling the lazy, spellbinding mood. “We should have another hour or so of daylight.”

  “A walk sounds good,” she said.

  At the edge of the yard they slipped off their shoes, then crossed the dunes to reach the water’s edge. The last of the day’s sunlight slanted across the beach. Much of the wide stretch of sand had been cast in shadow, making the sand cool against their bare feet. For as far as Kevin could see, he and Lacey were alone in the early-evening shadows.

  “Isn’t this perfect, when it’s like this?” Lacey asked with a sigh. “No one around. It’s almost possible to believe that we’re the only ones who know about this stretch of beach.”

  “Remind me to bring you back in mid-July,” Kevin said, thinking of the crowds that descended with the first full days of summer and remained until Labor Day at least.

  “And spoil the illusion? No way.”

  They walked as far as they could before the tide caught up with them and forced them to turn back. For the first time in months the silence that fell between them was comfortable, rather than strained. Neither of them seemed to feel the need to cover the quiet time with awkward conversation.

  Kevin glanced over and caught the slow curving of Lacey’s lips. “A penny for your thoughts,” he said.

  “At today’s rate of inflation? You’ve got to be kidding,” she said, repeating a joke that they’d shared over the years whenever one of them tried to pry into the other’s secret thoughts.

  “How much are your thoughts going for these days?”

  She seemed to consider the question carefully. “A hundred dollars easy.”

  He reached in his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He found the hundred-dollar bill he’d tucked there and offered it to her. “These thoughts of yours better be good.”

  “In whose opinion?” she countered, nabbing the money and tucking it into her pocket.

  “Mine. Pay up.”

  She grinned at him with a wicked gleam in her eyes. “Chicken,” she said succinctly.

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “I was thinking about chicken. Do you realize that there are at least a hundred different ways to fix chicken? And that’s before you get into the ethnic variations.”

  Kevin regarded her intently. “I just paid one hundred dollars for a dissertation on chicken recipes?” He held out his hand. “I don’t think so. I expected something terribly revealing about your romantic soul. Give the money back. You took it under false pretenses.”

  “Try to get it,” she challenged and took off running.

  Her pace was lightning quick at first as he stood flat-footed and stared after her in delighted astonishment. Then he took off after her. He was aware of the precise moment when she slowed down just enough
to be caught. He fell on top of her as they tumbled onto the sand.

  “You let me catch you,” he accused, all too aware of the press of her breasts against his chest and the familiar fit of their lower bodies. He captured her hands and pinned them over her head. Her eyes were filled with laughter and her breath was coming in soft, ragged puffs that fanned his face.

  “Maybe I did and maybe I didn’t,” she taunted.

  “Lacey Grainger Halloran, you are a tease.”

  She wriggled beneath him, just enough to confirm the accusation. There was an unmistakable flare of excitement in her eyes, though she did her damnedest to look innocent.

  “Me?” she murmured.

  “Yes, you,” he said softly, and then he lowered his mouth to cover hers. Her lips were soft and moist enough to have him forgetting to be sensible and slow and careful. Her mouth tempted, like the lure of a flame, and the heat it sent spiraling through him was devastating.

  Their bodies strained together, hers arching into his in a way that had him aching with an arousal so hard, so demanding that he thought it very likely he might embarrass himself as he hadn’t since the first time he’d experimented with sex.

  Kevin fought for calm by rolling over on his back, taking Lacey with him so that he could see her face and the gathering stars in the evening sky at the same time.

  “Good Lord, woman, what you do to me,” he murmured, his hands lightly brushing the sand from her face, then lingering to caress.

  “I know,” she said, her expression dreamy and open for once. “It’s the same for me with you. Sometimes you touch me and I think I’ll fly apart. It’s always been that way.”

  “Always?” he teased. “In the fifth grade you had the hots for me?”

  She laughed at that. “Of course, only then I thought it was an allergy. I had a hunch a doctor could cure it, but I never quite got around to checking.”

  “Thank God,” he said fervently.

  “What about you?” she questioned, smoothing her fingers along the curve of his jaw. “Did I make you come unglued in the fifth grade?”

  “Only when you hit that home run during the spring baseball tournament. I was ready to marry you after that.”

  “Fortunately there are laws about that sort of thing.”

  “I’m glad we waited as long as we did,” he said, his hands stroking over the backs of her thighs and up over her still-perfect bottom. Even through a layer of denim, she tempted. “I wouldn’t have missed the sweet anticipation of those years for anything.”

  “Me, neither,” she whispered, twining her arms around his neck and fitting her head into the curve of his shoulder. “Me, neither.”

  They stayed right where they were, snuggled comfortably together, for what seemed an eternity. Neither of them was willing to move and risk losing the rare and special mood. Despite thick sweaters and jeans, they were both cold and damp through to their bones by the time they finally made the effort to stand up and go inside.

  “How about soup?” Lacey suggested as they stood in front of the fire to warm up.

  “Chicken noodle, no doubt,” he said.

  She scowled at him, but her eyes were bright with laughter. “I was thinking of that white bean soup you like so much. It’s thick and hearty, the perfect thing for a night like this. Of course, I could manage chicken noodle from a can, if that’s your preference.”

  “Is there any of that bread you made left?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then the white bean soup and bread sounds great.”

  “Here, in front of the fire?”

  “Yes.”

  He followed her into the kitchen and helped with chopping onions and gathering silverware. There was something reassuring and cozy about working side by side to prepare a meal. How long had it been since they had done that? Before he’d hired the housekeeper certainly. And long before that? Maybe so.

  Possibly from the first moment he’d gone to work at Halloran, when he’d realized that Lacey didn’t really want to hear how his days at his father’s company had gone.

  Before that, early in their marriage they had both rushed in after six and divided up the chores so they could get dinner on the table at a decent hour. Lacey had cooked. He had set the table. And they had used the time to compare notes on everything they’d done while apart.

  Occasionally he had fixed dinner and let her catch up on laundry. Without any particular planning, they had had the ultimate liberated household, Kevin realized now with amusement. Still, the rhythm of their evenings had been satisfying in some elusive way he couldn’t begin to explain. There had been a closeness, a unity. How had he forgotten that?

  The phone rang just as Lacey was ready to ladle up the soup. “I’ll get it,” he offered and picked up the receiver.

  “Kevin?”

  “Hey, Dad, how are you?”

  He glanced at Lacey and saw her shoulders stiffen almost imperceptibly.

  “Fine, now that that rapscallion of Dana’s has gone home. That boy wears me out.”

  “Are you sure it isn’t the other way around? What did you two do all weekend?”

  “Played some fool video game. A lot of nonsense, if you ask me.”

  “You must have lost,” Kevin guessed.

  “The boy whipped the daylights out of me,” his father admitted with an indignant huff. “No respect for his elders.”

  “You wanted Sammy to let you win?”

  “Of course not, but he didn’t have to humiliate me.”

  Brandon cleared his throat, always a prelude to saying something he figured the other person didn’t want to hear. Kevin waited, his nerves tensed.

  “I didn’t call up there to discuss video games,” his father announced. “Just wanted to see how things are going.”

  “Things,” he mocked, realizing where the conversation was headed, “are going fine.”

  “You ready to get back to work?”

  “Dad, don’t start.”

  “I’m not pushing, son. Just asking.”

  “With you, it’s hard to tell the difference.”

  Brandon uttered a long-suffering sigh. “It sure is hard to get an ounce of respect in this family.”

  Kevin ignored the play for sympathy. Finally his father said, “You and Lacey doing okay?”

  Now they were really getting down to the reason for the call. Kevin studied his wife out of the corner of his eye. There was no mistaking the tense set of her shoulders now. It was as if she could hear her father-in-law’s end of the conversation, rather than just Kevin’s innocuous replies.

  “Okay,” he said, wondering if he was stretching the truth.

  “Hear she was staying across the hall.”

  “Dad! That is none of your business.” Only Lacey’s presence kept him from saying more. He would speak to Jason first thing tomorrow about spreading tales, especially to Brandon. Jason had had his own bitter experience with his grandfather’s meddling. He should have known better.

  “Of course it’s my business. Your happiness will always be my concern.”

  “Drop it,” Kevin warned.

  “Okay, okay. The papers on that deal for the new looms are due in tomorrow. Shall I send ’em on out there?”

  Kevin hesitated. Those papers were likely to be like waving a red flag under Lacey’s nose. On the other hand, what harm could there possibly be in looking through a contract? Somebody besides Brandon needed to look at the fine print. His father wanted those new looms too badly to worry about whether they were being taken to the cleaners on the deal.

  “Send them out,” he said finally. “Dad, I’ve got to go now. Lacey has dinner ready.”

  “You give her my love, then,” his father said. “And tell her to get the hell back in her own bed where she belongs. Better yet, put her on and I’ll tell her myself.”

  Kevin groaned. “You will do nothing of the kind. Good night, Dad.”

  When he’d hung up, Lacey put their bowls of soup on trays, along with the warm b
read. They carried the meal into the living room and settled down on the sofa in front of the fire.

  For the first time in the last twenty-four hours the silence that fell between them was uneasy. Kevin was more disappointed than surprised.

  “Okay,” he said finally, putting his spoon down carefully. “What’s on your mind?”

  “Who says anything is on my mind?” Lacey asked stiffly.

  “Lacey, being evasive won’t help anything.”

  “Okay, what did Brandon want this time?”

  “He just called to say hello.”

  She regarded him doubtfully. “It certainly took him long enough to spit one word out.”

  “You know what I meant,” Kevin said, his irritation beginning to mount. “What is it with you and my father? I thought all that animosity was a thing of the past. I thought you’d forgiven him years ago.”

  “I did.”

  “Then why do you react like this every time he calls up?”

  “He’s trying to get you to start working again, isn’t he? Doesn’t he realize that the whole purpose of your coming out here was to recuperate?”

  With her gaze pinned on him, he couldn’t manage a convenient lie. “It’s just some papers. It’ll take me an hour or two.”

  “Just some papers. An hour or two,” Lacey repeated. “Can’t you see that’s just the tip of the iceberg with Brandon? Next he’ll be pulling up here with an attaché case filled with more papers and a fax machine.”

  “So what if he does?” Kevin snapped. “I have to get back to work sooner or later. I’ll be a helluva lot more relaxed here than I would be back in Boston.”

  Lacey didn’t respond to that.

  Kevin threw down his napkin. “On second thought, maybe Boston would be simpler. I wouldn’t have to worry about you looking over my shoulder making judgments, would I?”

  He stood up and started for the door. “I’m going for a walk.”

  “Kevin,” Lacey called after him.

  The last thing he heard before he slammed the front door was her muttered curse.