Pretend

by Riley Hart

  Gavin sighed. “I didn’t fuck anyone while you were gone. I’ve been busy. Damn, my hand’s getting tired, though.”

  That’s what he’d needed to hear. Right or wrong, he needed to hear it. The thought of Gavin with someone else ate him up inside. “Yeah, mine, too. It’s not the same, though.” Especially for Mason. “Nothing was the same without you. It’s funny…we weren’t together very long. I’ve lived a whole hell of a lot more life without you than with you, but it still wasn’t the same.” Gavin sat on the couch across from him and didn’t reply. He’d obviously gotten off work not long before. He looked tired, but still didn’t take his eyes off Mason.

  “I’ve spent the last few months in Durango, like I said. I met my birth family.” He crossed his arms and watched Gavin as intensely as the man watched him. “They’re good people. They’re still not my real family. Those are the people who raised me. But we’ll have a relationship. I’m glad for that.”

  He waited for a response that never came. He could see the anger in Gavin, and knew the man deserved to have it. “The restaurant there is on solid ground. We got someone good in there, we think. It took a while, but we got everything settled for Alexander’s.” The longer he spoke the tenser he became. Christ, he may lose him. He told Gavin they needed to figure out what they wanted for their lives, and now he had to face the knowledge that what Gavin wanted might not be him.

  That wasn’t the truth for Mason, though. He knew exactly who he wanted, and it was the man eying him right now.

  ***

  We. Every time Mason spoke about the restaurant, he said we. It made Gavin’s hands ball into fists. His chest got heavy. It pissed him off. “You don’t want it, Mason. I don’t care what you say to me, I know that. I understand feeling an obligation, but you’re still fucking pretending. If you came here to tell me you’re going back to Denver, don’t bother. And I’ll be the one going to prison if you’re getting back with Isaac. You’re—”

  “Why are we talking about Isaac?”

  Gavin was on his feet in a second. In three quick strides he made his way to Mason. “Because I’m not walking away from you!” He’d walked away from too much in his life. He wouldn’t walk away from Mason. “We needed this time, I agree. We had too much shit in our heads. But I walked away from my job before. I’ve walked away from too many things in my life, and I really will be damned before I walk away from you! I’m not going to lose you to him, to Alexander’s, or anything else.”

  Gavin didn’t have enough time to move before Mason shoved to his feet. Before Mason slammed into him, making Gavin hit the wall. Something fell down but he didn’t care. All he knew was Mason’s hard body pressed against his. Mason’s lips crushed Gavin’s as their tongues dueled.

  The buttons on his shirt went flying when Mason ripped it open. They parted long enough for Gavin to pull Mason’s shirt off before they were kissing again.

  He wanted him. His prick ached and he wanted to fuck. Fuck hard. He wanted to make love, slow and passionately. He wanted to do it all, but, “No.”

  Gavin put a hand on Mason’s chest and pushed him away. “We aren’t doing that. We can’t answer this with sex.” He wanted the words back as soon as he said them. Why was he turning down sex? They’d been combustible together, always had this passionate chemistry from the first time they met.

  “Tell me I’m enough for you. I know I am. I wasn’t enough for anyone else in my life, but I know I’m enough for you, Mason. You can’t pretend I wasn’t.” There was neediness in his voice but he didn’t care. He needed this. He needed this man.

  “Hey.” Mason dropped his forehead to Gavin’s. “You’re more than enough for me. That’s why I’m here. It’s you. I never loved Isaac the way I love you. Hell, we never even said the words to each other. I’ll say them to you every fucking day if you want me to.”

  Gavin grabbed ahold of Mason’s sides. They breathed each other’s air. Held each other. And damn, it felt good. Felt right.

  “What about Alexander’s? We’ll figure it out—if you have to go back.”

  Mason shook his head. “It’s taken care of. Isaac is hiring someone to help him there. I know it’s strange, but…my biological mom? She’s the one working Durango, with her husband. In some ways Alexander’s will always be mine. It’s my legacy, but I spoke with my family, told them what I want and what I don’t. Not just bullshitted them, but the real deal. Maybe Isaac will own it all one day, maybe he won’t, but Creekside is mine. I’m not going to say it didn’t feel good, fixing things in Durango. It’s how I felt with Creekside. But I belong here. Hell, maybe I’ll open another bar…”

  “You’re a workaholic and you’re going to kill me.”

  Gavin went to pull away but Mason stopped him. “Hey, I have never had to pretend with you. Even from the beginning, you knew who I was. I showed that person to you before I did anyone else. You’re more than I deserve. I want you.”

  His cock started to fill with blood again, but it wasn’t the only part of his body working overtime. Mason was his. He felt him in each beat of his heart. “You’re back for good, then?”

  Mason nodded. “I am. You said you’re not walking away from me, but I’m the one who isn’t walking away from you. You’re stuck with me now.”

  Gavin would take that. “I want you in my bed every night. Move in with me. With my job at the school and your hours at the bar, it’s going to be hard to work it any other way.”

  Mason pushed his body into Gavin’s. Rubbed their cocks together through their jeans. “That depends…will you play the guitar for me every day? And the piano, too? I want you to fuck me on it as well. Christ, you and that Goddamned music gets me hard every time.”

  “I think I can handle that.”

  “That’s what I want to hear. I love you, music man. You know that, right? You. Love the wonder I see when I look in your eyes. Love the way you want to do right by people. Love that you’ll jump out of a plane with me like it’s nothing. You’re the only one I want to fly with. Tell me you know that.”

  “Yeah, I do. You helped me decide who I am, Mase. You saw me in a way no one ever had.”

  Mason held him tighter and Gavin nodded toward the piano. “Can we get started now? The playing and the making love?”

  Mason gave him a cocky grin. “Now’s gonna be when you want to kiss me, music man.”

  Gladly, Gavin did exactly what Mason said.

  EPILOGUE

  Mason turned the chair around backward and sat down. The lights were low in Creekside and the place was pretty packed. Noah and Cooper sat beside him, Wes and Braden next to them. On the other side sat his parents and then Isaac. There were a few teachers from the high school here as well. Gavin had made quite a few friends since he started teaching.

  When Gavin walked onto the small stage, Mason couldn’t help but grin. Christ, he loved the man, and he couldn’t be more proud of him than he was right now.

  In the grand scheme of things, playing in Mason’s bar was nothing—but not to Mason, and definitely not to Gavin. It filled his chest to capacity to see his man on the stage in his bar. To know that he would sing and play the guitar, sharing such an intimate piece of himself with the world. Music lived inside Gavin, and tonight, people would see that the way Mason did every time he watched him.

  “This is embarrassing. Damn, there’s a lot of people out there. Did you tell the whole town?” Gavin looked at Mason, who just shrugged his shoulders, waiting for his lover to start.

  Gavin sat on a stool, pulled a guitar to his lap, and then cleared his throat. He played a few covers, which everyone ate up. Mason’s mom leaned over and whispered into Mason’s ear how good Gavin was between each song.

  And he was. He had this sexy, raspy voice that drove Mason wild. It wasn’t often that Gavin sang, but every time he did, Mason fell in love with him all over again.

  “I’m going to sing something a little different for you guys next. It’s just something I’ve been playing around
with. Hell, I don’t even know if it’s any good or not, but here it is.”

  Mason sat up at that. Gavin hadn’t told him he’d written a song to sing. He watched intensely as Gavin’s fingers began plucking at the strings. As soon as Gavin started to sing, Mason’s breath caught in his throat.

  Never thought of lookin’ for forever

  Didn’t think it’s somethin’ I would find

  Thought I was happy livin’ my life

  But I wasn’t livin’, was I? No, I wasn’t livin’, was I?

  Never realized I spent my life drifting

  Didn’t have anything that was really mine

  Lived my life with blinders on

  Lonely, so alone, ignorin’ all the signs

  Nothin’ was real before you

  Goin’ through the motions, living behind a façade

  I got good at pretendin’ ‘til you broke down all my walls

  It couldn’t be anyone but you

  No one else had the power to see the man inside

  Not even me, no not even me. Believed my own lies

  Nothin’ was real before you.

  The only place I never had to pretend.

  You taught me how to fly, how to live

  I see it in your eyes, feel it in your hold

  I know I did the same for you

  Gave you a place to be you. Made you mine

  Lovin’ someone doesn’t mean your perfect

  We’ve fucked up, started again

  All I know is it’s you I want

  Want to be your music man

  Nothin’ was real before you

  Goin’ through the motions, living behind a façade

  I got good at pretendin’ until you broke down all my walls

  It couldn’t be anyone but you

  No one else had the power to see the man inside.

  Not even me, no not even me. Believed my own lies.

  Nothin’ was real before you. The only place I never had to pretend.

  Mason’s heart thumped harder than it ever had. He felt full, complete. Yes, it’s something he’d experienced since he and Gavin finally made things concrete between them, but this was different. This was more.

  Gavin had given Mason his music. He’d put himself out there for Mason. He hadn’t thought it possible, but somehow he loved Gavin more.

  ***

  Gavin watched as Mason practically stormed onto the stage. His damned hands were shaking like crazy, yet when Mason got to him, he forgot about it.

  “You like that? I wrote it myself,” he teased, as Mason pulled him to his chest.

  “That was…”

  Mason didn’t finish, but Gavin didn’t need him to. He’d known exactly what it would do to his lover when he’d written it. Mason didn’t have to use words for Gavin to know how he felt. “I know.”

  “Good, because that’s something else I’m going to need you to do for me all the time. Maybe not every day, but every week. What do you think about that?”

  Gavin laughed and shook his head. “Keep dreaming.”

  “Don’t need to. Already have everything I need.”

  “Come on. Your parents are down there looking at us like they want to talk.”

  He’d spent quite a bit of time lately getting to know Mason’s family. They were great people, and they treated Gavin like one of the family. Things were still a struggle with his own mom. She loved Gavin. He knew that. And she knew about the conversation Gavin had with his father, but she still had a hard time coming to terms with it all.

  Gavin didn’t lie about who he was, though. Not to her or anyone else, and she realized that. She’d even gone to lunch with him and Mason once.

  Mason and Gavin walked over and started talking with everyone. Mason scheduled extra help in the bar tonight, freeing him up to spend time with Gavin and his family. All of this just because they’d known Gavin would play in the bar tonight. It humbled him that they cared that much.

  “Do you have a moment?” Gavin looked over to see Isaac standing beside them. Things were still slightly awkward between them. He knew Mason had had a conversation with Isaac, basically putting him into his place where Gavin was concerned. It hadn’t been necessary. Gavin appreciated it, but he also trusted his partner. He knew who Mason wanted.

  “Yeah. Sure.”

  Gavin headed for Mason’s office with Isaac on his heels. Isaac and Mason’s father had hired someone else to help out with the Denver and Boulder locations. It seemed to be going well. Mason consulted with them at times, but that’s as far as he went into working for Alexander’s.

  Gavin unlocked the office door and then closed it behind them.

  “I owe you an apology.”

  Gavin crossed his arms. He hadn’t been expecting that.

  “I’m sure you know Mason and I had a discussion about our past and his relationship with you.”

  “I do.”

  “I wanted to make sure you know I understand that. It was…difficult at first. I’ve always had Mason, and I made myself believe I always would.”

  “He cares about your friendship.” Mason did, and Gavin understood that. They had a lot of history, and Isaac was practically a member of Mason’s family.

  “Yes. He does. Not that I deserve it.” Isaac smiled, and Gavin found himself doing the same. “I see him…the way he is with you. What he has with you. We never had that. I’m okay with it, now. I’m sure he’s told you I don’t like to lose.”

  “Yeah, I caught onto that.” Gavin chuckled.

  “He’s got it bad for you. I wanted to make sure you know that I see that, and that I’m happy for you both.”

  He knew it took a lot for Isaac to say that. He doubted they would ever be close, but he appreciated the sentiment. “Thank you.” Gavin held out his hand and Isaac shook it.

  When he opened the office door, Mason stood there, leaning against the wall, with his arms crossed. He raised a brow and Isaac said, “Simmer down. I’m only apologizing.”

  Gavin saw the surprise in Mason’s eyes, but he just nodded at Isaac, who went on his way.

  “That was a surprise.” Mason pulled Gavin close.

  “It was. Unneeded, though. I know you’re mine.”

  “Yes, I am. And you’re mine, too, music man.”

  Sometimes he still couldn’t believe his life. How much things had changed. He’d spent his life not really knowing who he was. Or trying to keep that person under wraps. Gavin didn’t have to do that anymore. He would never have to pretend again. All he’d had to do was make that decision for himself. It’s all most of us have to do. It’s just not always an easy road to get to the place you’re comfortable doing that.

  “You’re forgetting something,” Gavin told him.

  Mason paused a second. Gavin could tell the second he caught on, because he got that grin Gavin loved so much.

  “Now’s gonna be when you want to kiss me.”

  The End

  OTHER BOOKS BY RILEY HART

  Blackreek series:

  COLLIDE

  STAY

  Broken Pieces series:

  BROKEN PIECES

  FULL CIRCLE

  Coming soon:

  BEN

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

  Riley Hart is the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. She's a hopeless romantic. A lover of sexy stories, passionate men, and writing about all the trouble they can get into together. If she's not writing, you'll probably find her reading.

  Riley lives in California with her awesome family, who she is thankful for everyday.

  You can find her online at:

  Twitter

  @RileyHart5

  Facebook

  https://www.facebook.com/riley.hart.1238?fref=ts

  Blog

  www.rileyhartwrites.blogspot.com

 

 

  From.Net