Conflicted

by Heather Dahlgren

  “You’re mine. I dare you to go over to that guy and thank him for the drink.” I start laughing already but jump up. I go over to the guy and tap his shoulder. He turns to look at me, and I smile.

  “Hey. I just wanted to come over and personally thank you for the drink. That was sweet.” He frowns and looks around.

  “Umm what?” I laugh and run back to the table.

  “Oh my God, he said ‘what.’” I jump onto Keith’s lap, still laughing. He laughs at me and kisses my nose.

  “I’m glad you are having fun, Mel. You deserve it.” I wrap my arms around him and slam my mouth to his. I can’t believe how incredibly turned on I am. I am grinding against him, and he grabs onto my ass.

  “I think we are done playing.” I hear Connie say before her and Sal laugh. I don’t even care right now. I would have sex with him on this table. Keith breaks the kiss and searches my eyes. He moves to my ear and kisses right below it.

  “Sweetheart, why don’t we get out of here?” I nod my head over and over, which causes him to laugh. “Connie, we are going to get out of here. You want to come back with us?” I turn my head to see her, and damn, the room begins to spin.

  “Oh no. Why is the room spinning?” I close my eyes tightly.

  “Shit. I need to get her home.” I feel him stand, and my stomach starts turning. Shit, I think I’m drunk. I still have my eyes closed because I’m scared to open them, but damn, I think I’m going to be sick.

  “I don’t feel so good.” I can feel him moving quicker, and I squeeze my eyes tighter.

  “Hang on, sweetheart. We are almost outside, and the cooler air may help.” Fuck, I hope he’s right. He pushes through the door and sits me down on a bench. “Take a few deep breaths.” He is sitting next to me, rubbing my back, and it is actually putting me to sleep.

  I wake up completely disoriented. I sit up and realize I’m in my bed. “What do you need?” I spin my head over to my right and see Keith sitting in a chair beside my bed. “Do you feel sick?” I am totally confused.

  “What the hell is going on? Why are you sitting in a chair in my room, and how the hell did I get in bed?” It’s still dark out, so it must be late as hell, and by the looks of Keith, he hasn’t been to bed yet.

  “You had a little too much to drink and passed out. I brought you home and got you to bed. I wanted to make sure you were okay, so I brought in a chair. I wanted to be awake, if you needed me.” I feel a tear slide down my cheek.

  “I’ve never met anyone like you. No one has ever cared for me like this before. Thank you.” I feel more tears fall, and he moves over to sit on the bed beside me. He wipes my tears with his thumbs.

  “Mel, I’ve already told you I’ve never felt the way you make me feel. I want to protect you, take care of you, and make you happy. I know it seems so fast, but damnit, I can’t help how I feel.” I pull back the covers and sniffle.

  “I’m fine. Come to bed.” He kicks off his shoes and climbs in bed next to me. He lies down and holds out his arms for me. I rest my head on his chest, and he wraps his arms around me. I can hear his heart beating frantically in his chest and kiss it.

  “You have my heart beating just as quickly.” He tightens his hold on me, and before I know it, I’m fast asleep.

  I wake up still in Keith’s arms and smile. “You finally up?” I lift my head and rest my chin on his chest. He looks wide-awake.

  “Yes. Have you been up long?” He glances over at the clock before smiling at me.

  “Considering it’s almost eleven thirty, yea, I’ve been up for a bit.” Holy shit, I can’t believe I slept so long. I’m actually thankful because I don’t have a hangover.

  “Sorry. I didn’t realize how tired I was, or I guess, how drunk. I want to apologize for last night. I haven’t drunk like that since college, and I guess it just hit me hard. I didn’t mean to ruin the night or have you worry.” He does that thing where he runs his thumb down my cheek. I love that it’s such an intimate gesture.

  “Sweetheart, you had fun, and that’s what matters. Don’t ever apologize for that. I’ll always worry, that’s what I do. I need to make sure that everyone I care about is alright.” My heart starts pounding, and I can feel my hands starting to sweat. I guess my now boyfriend cares about me. It’s overwhelming in the best possible way. “Yes, Mel, I care about you.”

  “How the hell were you still single?” I lie on top of him and kiss his lips.

  “Sweetheart, I think I’ve just been waiting for you.” Yep, that did it. I can’t deny it anymore. I am falling for this guy hard and fast. We begin to kiss, and it turns passionate quickly. He sits up, bringing me with him, and pulls my shirt over my head before removing his. I watch his eyes dance over my breasts, and it makes me feel so wanted. I unbutton my jean shorts and slide them down before kicking them off. Keith follows suit, and we are both taking each other in. “You are absolutely stunning, Mel.”

  “So are you. Damn, so are you.” He grins at me and flips me over so he is now on top. He starts kissing down my neck, and I feel my nipples pebble and my pussy clench with anticipation. He gets down to my breasts and rubs his thumbs over my nipples, and it feels amazing through my satin bra. I arch my back in a silent plea for him to touch me again. He knows exactly what I want and unclasps my bra before sliding it off. He doesn’t say a word, just attacks my breasts, causing me to moan. It feels so incredible. I’m breathing heavily with desire and fisting the comforter in each hand. He pays equal attention to each breast before moving down my stomach. My pussy is soaked at this point, and I know these satin panties are doing nothing to hide the fact. He simply pulls them off and licks me. “Fuck.”

  “Damn, I love that I make you this wet. It makes me so fucking hard. I need to make this sweet, soft, delicious pussy come so I can finally get inside you.” He drags a finger between my wet folds, and I moan.

  “Please, Keith. Just fuck me now, don’t make me wait.” He licks me again.

  “Sweetheart, I need to make sure you’re ready for me, and this time, our first time, I won’t be fucking you. I want to show you with my body how much I care about you. There is plenty of time for fucking after that.” I can’t handle it. His sweet, yet dirty words make me need to come, and I don’t care how right now. He slowly pushes a finger inside me, and I lift my hips, begging for more. He adds a second finger and starts fucking me with his fingers. I’m so close already, and he must know that because he begins licking my clit, and it throws me over the edge.

  “Oh God, yes!” After I ride out my aftershocks, he climbs up my body. He kisses me, and I taste myself, and I’ve learned from him that I actually like it. It is such a turn-on. He pulls back and searches my whole face.

  “You sure about this? I don’t want you to feel like we need to do this.” I smile and place my hands on either side of his face.

  “I’m absolutely sure. I want this more than you could imagine.” He chuckles.

  “Oh, believe me, I can imagine.” He slips off his boxers, and I get to see that massive cock and his piercing. I’m not going to lie. I’ve never been with a guy who had such a huge cock, never mind a pierced one. It’s equal parts exciting and terrifying. He reaches for his shorts and pulls out a condom. Looking right into my eyes, he rips it open and slowly rolls it onto himself. Fuck, that is hot. He lies back on top of me, and I feel him at my entrance. “Just relax. I’ll go slow.” He begins to kiss me sweetly, softly, and I’m melting into him. I feel him begin to slowly push in, and I tense up a bit. He stops and looks at me. “Relax, I promise you I won’t do anything to hurt you.” He begins kissing me again, this time more frantically. I don’t know if it was his words or this kiss, but I feel myself relaxing, and he begins pushing in more. He is stretching me out in the most delicious way. I can feel his piercing, and holy fuck, it already feels strangely amazing. I begin digging my nails into his shoulders, and he immediately stops. “Am I hurting you?”

  “God no. It feels so good. Keep going.” With a hard
thrust causing me to moan, he is finally fully in. He is kissing my neck and pinching my nipples, but not moving. “I’m good, I promise. Please start to move.” I need to feel him, and holy shit, do I, once he starts moving. I know they say size doesn’t matter, and if that’s true, then Keith just really knows how to use it because he’s only just started moving, and I could orgasm already. The feel of his piercing dragging against me is unreal, and it feels incredible. I close my eyes overwhelmed with everything I’m feeling.

  “Mel, open your eyes and look at me.” I comply, wanting to do anything for him in this moment. “You feel fucking amazing. Being inside you, feeling you wrapped around me, is fucking unreal.” He is slowly moving in and out of me, causing me to clench around him. I lift my hips, wanting him to pick up his pace. He once again knows exactly what I want. He starts to really move, and I throw my head back, letting out a scream like I’ve never done before. “That’s it, sweetheart. Fuck, this feels so good.” I dig my nails into his biceps and meet him thrust for thrust. I can feel my body starting to get that familiar feeling, and I know I’m not going to last much longer.

  “Oh, Keith, I’m so close.”

  “I know, sweetheart, I feel you.” He reaches between us and rubs my clit, and I explode.

  “Keith!” I shout his name and I have the strongest orgasm I have ever felt in my life. He pumps in and out of me only a few more times before I feel him still.

  “Oh fuck, Mel!” he moans, and my heart swells hearing him say my name while he orgasms. He collapses on top of me, but I can tell he is holding most of his weight off me. We both lie there, trying to catch our breath and recover. After several minutes, he runs his thumb down my cheek. I open my eyes and see his brilliant blues.

  “Wow . . . just . . . wow.” He chuckles and kisses me.

  “You have a way with words, but I have to agree. That was amazing.” We lie in bed for a half hour longer, holding each other. I can’t help but think this isn’t something I’m going to be able to let go of when he leaves. It makes my heart hurt thinking of him not being here. I tighten my hold on him and tell myself to enjoy it while it lasts.

  After the most amazing sex of my life, I lie there and think there is no way I’m going to be able to leave this girl. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do. I can’t stay, but I can’t leave her. I know I’m falling in love with her. I’ve never felt this way in my life. I thought I’ve been in love before, but fuck no, not compared to this. This is unexplainable. I have a lot I need to figure out, and time is running out quickly. She squeezes me a little harder, and it pulls me from my thoughts. “I’d like to take you somewhere today.” She opens her eyes and smiles.

  “Oh yea. Where?” I wink and sit up. “That will be a surprise. Now, how about we get up and start this day? I need to go back to the house for a shower and clean clothes, so how about I pick you up in an hour?” She sits up and kisses above my heart. I like that; it makes me feel like she is feeling the same thing I am.

  “Sounds good. Can you at least tell me what I should wear?” I climb out of bed and slide on my boxers.

  “Anything comfortable. I’d say shorts.” She watches me dress, taking in every inch of my body. I wink at her, and she blushes. She is still sitting up in bed with the blanket wrapped around her. I climb up her body, fully clothed, and she lies back. I kiss her, letting her know just how important she is becoming to me. I pull back and smile at her. “I just needed to say goodbye properly. I’ll be back soon.”

  I go back to my mom’s, and she is sitting at the table eating lunch. “Well, my boy finally comes home.” I look at her, and she is smiling. I sit down at the table with her.

  “Ha-ha, Mom. How are you?” She reaches for my hand and squeezes it.

  “Happy to see you so happy.” I smile at her.

  “I am happy. Mel is just, I don’t even have the words. She’s just everything.” She wipes a tear. “Why are you crying?” She laughs and shakes her head.

  “These are happy tears. My boy is in love.” Well damn, how can I argue with her when I believe I am? “I’m just thankful that this trip out here wasn’t for all bad.”

  “Mom, seeing you and the girls made this trip worth it. I miss you guys terribly. Speaking of, have you thought anymore about moving?” She sighs and leans back in her chair. I know this is a hard decision for her, but I really want her and the girls by me. We would see each other all the time, and best of all, they would be safe and far away from my father.

  “Keith, it’s a hard decision. This is where my life is, my friends, and my girls.”

  “Mom, I would have them come too. I wouldn’t leave them behind without you. I know Connie would come in a heartbeat, but Karen I think will take some convincing like you.” She laughs, and I know it’s because I am right.

  “What about Mel?” This question catches me off guard. I mean, I just thought about not wanting to leave her earlier, but I don’t know. It is so early in our relationship, how can I ask her to move to New York? She would think I’m crazy.

  “I don’t know yet. That is something that I need to figure out in the next few weeks.” I’ve still got two months, so I’ll figure it out. I look at the clock and realize I need to get moving so I can get back to get Mel. “You’re off the hook for now. I need to go shower and get ready.” I kiss her cheek and rush off to get ready.

  I showered, got ready, went and picked up subs and drinks, and still made it back to Mel’s in just about an hour. I leave the picnic in the car and go up to the door. I’m so excited to take her to my favorite spot here. It’s a beautiful little lake about a mile away from my mom’s house. It’s a short walk down a dirt trail in the woods. When I was a kid, I spent so much time there. I cooled off at the lake in the summer, skated on it on the winter, and hid there when things at home got to be too much. I lost my virginity and broke a heart or two there.

  I knock on the door and walk in. Connie is sitting on the couch watching TV and looks over at me. “I assume since Mel has been getting ready, you’re not here to see me.” She giggles, and I sit down next to her.

  “You know nothing makes me happier than seeing my little sister. Hey, before I leave, can I ask you a question?” She turns sideways to look at me.

  “Of course, what’s up?” I rub the back of my neck and smile.

  “Please don’t say anything alright?” She nods her head agreeing. “If I suggested you, Mom, and Karen moved closer to me, would you do it?” She squeals and hugs me. I laugh knowing that means yes.

  “Keith, I’ve wanted to live in New York my whole life. I stayed here for Mom and Karen, but shit, you know I’d be there in a heartbeat. Why, did you say something to Mom?” I tell her that I did and how she is reluctant to move. “Leave it to me. I’ll convince them both.” I kiss her forehead and stand up.

  “I was hoping you’d say that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to find my girl.” She winks at me, and I walk down the hall toward Mel’s room. I knock on the closed door and open it. She is sitting on the bed, tying her sneakers. She looks up at me and gets that smile on her face that makes my heart pound. “You look beautiful. Are you almost ready?” She stands up and hugs me. I wrap my arms around her and hold her close. How is it possible I missed her in an hour?

  “I’m excited, so I’m ready when you are.” I take hold of her hand and lead her to the living room. “You don’t need anything, do you?” She checks her pockets and pulls out her phone and keys.

  “I’ve got it all, unless I need money, then I need my wallet.” I chuckle and shake my head.

  “No, you don’t. Connie, I’ll talk to you later. Love you.” She looks over and smiles.

  “Have fun.” We walk out to the car, and I open the door for her. I go around to the driver’s side and get in.

  “Damn, I wish I had my truck here. My mom needs a new car so badly.” I put the key in the ignition and turn it. It grinds gears and kicks over.

  “At least it gets her around.” I look out th
e window to make sure it’s safe to pull out.

  “That it does. Are you ready?” She looks at me and nods.

  “Hell yes. Let’s go.” I love her excitement for everything. We drive the short distance, and when I park at the beginning of the walking path, she looks at me with raised eyebrows. “Are you fucking serious?” I bust out laughing and get out of the car. I make my way to her door, open it for her, and hold out my hand.

  “Trust me.” She puts her hand in mine, and I grab my bag with our lunch in it out of the backseat. “It’s not a far walk, I promise.” We make our way down the winding path, and I’m surprised to see how overgrown it has become. I guess not that many people come back here anymore. We make it to the clearing, and it is like a flood a memories. We walk until the lake comes into view. I hear her suck in a breath.

  “Oh, Keith, this is beautiful.” The lake is crystal clear with a few boulders around the perimeter. There are wild flowers and tall grasses that make the view that much more spectacular. We walk closer to the lake, and I see a spot that is perfect for me to lay down the blanket. I let go of her hand and set up our lunch.

  “Lunch is served.” We sit down and enjoy our sandwiches and iced tea. She asks me more about being a New York cop, and I tell her everything about it. She listens to every word, taking it all in. She asks if the crime is scarier, and I tell her no. There is nothing more or less scary about being a cop, no matter where that may be. Crime is crime. We switch topics to our surroundings.

  “This is so romantic. I’ve never had a picnic lunch before, and it is so stunning back here, so peaceful. The view is beautiful.” I smile to myself and climb on top of her, so she is now lying on her back.

  “I couldn’t agree more. The view is breathtaking.” Her cheeks flush, and I kiss her soft lips. “I can’t seem to get enough of you.” She runs her hands up into my hair.

  “I feel the same way.” We kiss and grind against each other like a bunch of horny teenagers. It is so out of character for me, and I fucking love it. After a while, I pull back and wink at her.