Moth

by Jennifer Foor

  Her cheeks are bright pink. “What kind of question is that?” She plays it off.

  “A legitimate one given the fact that you’re staring me up and down. You obviously see something you like.”

  She turns away to hide the shame of me being able to read her. It’s not hard. She’s making it very easy. “They’re hard not to notice.”

  “It’s okay if you don’t want to admit you’re attracted to me. I’m good communicating without words.” I stir in some of the wine and mix it with the sautéing mushrooms. The mixture of the smell resonates in the kitchen. After I turn down the heat I’m able to give her my attention again. “Cat got your tongue?”

  “Sometimes you make me uncomfortable with the things that come out of your mouth.”

  I shrug. “I told you before, I tell it like it is.”

  “And I told you before I wasn’t interested in dating.”

  “Yet here I am making you dinner. Go figure.”

  “You insisted. You weren’t invited.”

  “Last night you mentioned anyone who hangs out with you is in danger. I’m just curious if you have a vagina with teeth, because if that’s the case I’m out of here.”

  She’s flabbergasted I’ve said it. Her hand comes up over her mouth as her eyes widen. “You are insane!”

  I pull one mushroom out of the pan and blow on it before putting it in front of her face. “Shut up and try this. I have a feeling you’re going to be impressed.”

  She rolls her eyes. “It’s probably poisoned. You’ve come to kill me haven’t you?”

  I’m not sure if I should take this as a sign that she’s in danger, or a joke, so I choose the latter. “Just taste it.”

  Her plump lips part as I watch as she samples what I have on the spoon. She’s surprised. Her eyebrows lift as she moans and closes her eyes as if she’s savoring the flavor. “That’s fantastic.”

  “Told you. Just wait until it’s all done.”

  “You are the most confusing man I’ve ever met. What gives? Why me? The more I try to push you away, the more it seems you keep coming back. I don’t deserve a friend, Moth.” All of a sudden she seems depressed. “Being like this with you only proves that. This is a bad idea.”

  “Why?” I dip a finger into the sauce and suck it into my mouth to taste. “What are you afraid of?”

  “You. Everything. This. It’s complicated. You don’t know me. That’s the problem. There are parts of me I can’t ever talk about. I’ve done things. I’m afraid you wouldn’t like me if you knew the truth.” I wish she could come out with it. I’m beginning to like her too much to keep up with the charade. It’s wrong, and I wish more than anything that the circumstances surrounding our relationship were anything but what they actually are. This is all a lie. Nothing will come of this. The more time I spend with her the harder it’s going to be when it’s over.

  I’m a terrible person for enjoying this. I know I’m in the wrong, but when it feels this right I find it difficult to restrain.

  “I’m pretty sure I’d still like you. Look, Windy, we all have secrets. I told you before I don’t care about your past. I’m living in the now. Right now I’m here with you, alone, cooking you dinner in your kitchen. If you want me to leave afterwards I will, but if you ask me to stay I’m okay with that too. Let’s go with it.”

  “This is a terrible idea,” she says as I come close and pin her where she’s sitting. Our eyes are locked, our faces close. I want to kiss her, not just to earn her trust, because being in the same room with her makes me insane. My palms are sweaty, and I swear my heart rate has increased. This is out of character for me. I don’t get attached to people. I don’t make my cases personal. Why I can’t get it together with this one in particular is stressing me out. I need resolution, but the only way I can figure is to press my lips to hers and get it over with.

  “Some things are worth the risk.” I stay in the same position. I want to see if she’ll move toward me. I can’t make all the effort. This is a test and it’s up to her show initiative. “How long has it been since your lips have been kissed?”

  “I can’t remember,” she confesses.

  “I think we need to get it over with to clear the air. Meet me halfway and I’ll make sure it’s worth your while.”

  Slowly she inches her lips toward mine, and I can’t stop myself from experiencing it. I’m selfish and hungry. It shows the moment those tender lips press over mine. I take my fingers and dig them into her hair in order to pull her closer. Her tongue brushes over mine and my dick awakens. I’m already sweating, shaking from restraining for entirely too long. I’m not in denial. I know what this kiss means. It should be about earning her trust. If the guys are watching they’ll assume this is all part of the rouse. They’ll commend me for being fast and efficient.

  Right now I don’t give a shit who this chick is. I’m not treating her like a criminal, a victim, or a possible lead. Right now she’s just a beautiful woman I’m dying to fuck. With each stroke of her tongue I’m being hypnotized. She’s wrapping me around her little finger, and if I’m not careful I might get lost in this. It’s too good. She’s too perfect. Her kisses match mine like we’re old lovers. Her hands caress my arms as if she’s done this a thousand times. The more I try to back away the harder it becomes to even consider it. I’m a fiend. She’s my drug. I want to be addicted, because a single kiss has never felt this good.

  The smell of something beginning to burn catches my attention. I finally break our embrace and tend to dinner without saying anything. She sits there silently, probably thinking the same things I am. Where do we go from here? Is this happening for real? I’m supposed to be pretending, but nothing about that kiss was fake. I want more, even when I know it’s dangerous and stupid. When I get the nerve to look at her again she’s smiling back at me. “Okay, Moth.”

  “Okay what?” I calmly question.

  “You’re right. I like guys with muscles. I like being challenged. It’s nice to have someone to talk to. What else do you want me to say?”

  I move the pan away from the burner and slide between her dangling legs again. My hand comes up and reaches in her hair, tugging at the messy bun. Her chin lifts and the nape of her neck is in full view. “You could say you’re starving. Dinner is almost done.”

  She’s surprised I’m not trying anything. “I wasn’t thinking that at all.”

  I smirk. “Oh, I know what you’re thinking. Save that conversation for dessert, beautiful.”

  One kiss. That’s all it takes for this chick to bring me to my knees. As much as I know I need to run out of there and clear my head, I remain. I don’t care about the backlash I’ll get from the guys. I don’t care about the danger, or her real identity. I’m living a lie because I know it’s the only way I can be close to her. My head is in my ass, and as long as it stays there I can continue carrying on this charade.

  Chapter 12

  We’re standing in her doorway after enjoying a nice dinner in front of the television. We talked about everyday things, but nothing that will lead me closer to solving this case. If anything, it’s making it harder to focus. I feel like the girl I’m getting to know isn’t the same one I’m after for answers. I don’t understand how I’m able to differentiate them, but it’s happening and I like it. I like her, entirely too much for this to feel comfortable.

  I don’t overstay my welcome, even though it’s agony to leave this early. I have to take my time and do this right. I’m already going to regret the day when she discovers this was all a ploy to get to the truth, and that I’m not who I say I am. She’ll hate me. I’ll be the enemy and everything we will share will turn into a lifetime of regret. For now it feels right. It feels as if we could be good together. I want to know her, even if everything she says is a bold-faced lie. I’m not sure who is playing who. It’s a dangerous concoction, and I’m facing it head on with no regard for repercussions. “Thanks for inviting me over.”

  “I didn’t invite you, Moth.
You invited yourself.” Do I sense disdain in her tone?

  “I don’t recall you complaining.”

  She’s nodding. “This thing with us. It’s different. It’s probably wrong of me to say it, but think I might like to see you again.”

  “I figured. I’m a damn good kisser.”

  “You’re not too shabby,” she teases. “You’re also cocky and …” I refuse to allow her to finish.

  I bring my lips to hers and savor the way it feels in case it’s the last I’ll ever get. I never know what will happen, good or bad. As I retract from the embrace I hold my face close. “I’ll leave you with that.”

  “You’re determined to change my mind aren’t you?” Her question leaves me with a content grimace.

  I run my fingers over the lips I just finished kissing. “I’ve never wanted to know a person as much as I want to know you.” When I walk away it’s not without contempt.

  I’m prepared for the lashing I’ll get when I return to the surveillance platform. House is flicking a pen in between two fingers while leaning back in a metal chair. He lets all four legs touch the ground when he sees me walk in the room. “There he is. The man of the hour.”

  I put my hands in my pockets as I speak. I can’t allow him to know I’m becoming somewhat emotionally attached to someone we’re targeting. “Did you enjoy the show? I figured you and dipshit Renner would be chowing down on popcorn taking bets.”

  “We did that earlier. Since you couldn’t get past first base he called it a night.”

  I smirk and shake my head. “Whatever. I’m doing my job.”

  “Well, while you were doing your job,” he says in a sarcastic way. “Malone called. She found out the pharmaceutical company was started up from a division of an international packing and shipping corporation.”

  “What? How long ago?”

  “Four years give or take a couple months. That’s not all. Check out the logo for that company.”

  He hands me a copy of what Malone sent over. It’s not the same as the heroin wrappers, but it’s close. The raccoon is the same. There are no crossbones, but instead the animal is heaving a stack of boxes. I crumbled the paper into a ball and toss it across the room. “Fuck. Does John know about this?”

  House nods. “Pretty sure. He’s been on Malone like a fly to shit.”

  “All the time we’ve invested going after Alizar and now this. Can you imagine if he’s building an empire to not only create and manufacture the drugs, but also smuggle them across the globe without being detected?”

  “It’s all I can think about, man.”

  I scratch my head and give myself a second to take it all in. “My brother’s death can’t be a coincidence.”

  “Yeah, I was thinking that too. Are you sure you still want to take the Windy approach? Maybe we should be focusing on the people who run the company instead.”

  I shake my head. “No. This girl knows something. We’ve tried to catch Alizar by going after his top people. We need a different approach this time. If this operation is as big as we think, there’s no telling who he has in his pockets. We need to keep this information on the down low for a little while, at least until I can convince Windy to trust me.”

  I pull out my phone and dial Malone’s number. She picks up on the second ring. “Hey, boss. How is Virginia?”

  “No time for small talk, Malone. I need you to do a search for all pharmaceutical science majors in the country. It can’t be that many. Narrow the search to females between the age of twenty-two and twenty-seven. Cross-reference those that have male siblings. I don’t give a shit if you have to go through census records for the last ten years. Send me a list of what you find, including DMV records for each. We need to be on top of this. If Alizar is close enough to off my brother, it’s only a matter of time before he comes after one of us. We need to end this before he ends us.”

  “Yes, sir. I’m right on it. I’ll send you something ASAP.”

  The call ends and House remains watching me. He’s crossed his arms, and I know him well enough to sense he’s questioning my ambition. “If we act too fast we could make a mistake.”

  “I’m aware. We’re not going to act fast, but the clock is ticking. If Alizar ordered a hit on my brother he already knows we’re here. We could be playing right into his hand again. You saw the note he left for me. This is personal.”

  “Exactly why you might need to take a step back. Have you considered he’s done his research? Have you even wondered how a woman who you couldn’t have manufactured in your head more beautiful is suddenly connected to your brother and this case? He’s playing with you. She’s a decoy, man.”

  “No. That’s too easy. He’s a complex thinker. He’d assume we’d go this route. Something bigger is about to happen. I can feel it.”

  House stands and stretches. “Whatever it is, we need to figure it out soon. I’ve had a bad feeling about this since the bust in Guatemala. Whatever you decide I’ll be here, but you better hope to shit that you don’t get us all killed, because my big ass will come back and haunt you for an eternity.”

  I don’t take it as a serious threat. House may be a huge man, but he has a kind heart. He’s worried about me, and this is the only way he knows how to express it.

  There are no words I can say to reassure him. With the new evidence of leads, I’m worried he’s right. Alizar has a target on my head.

  The following day we throw ourselves into research. What’s weird is that we should have been able to trace this years ago. Something or someone on the inside has to be preventing us from certain aspects of the case. I’m not sure how to take this bit of information we’ve uncovered.

  I haven’t called or sent any messages to Windy for two reasons. One, I know I can’t push. And two, I’m testing to see if she reaches out to me. It only takes until early evening for that to happen. It’s a simple message, but enough to get the blood pumping in areas I’d rather keep dormant while around my two male co-workers.

  Thank you again for dinner. I just finished the leftovers. – W

  Any time. Maybe we can get together next week? – Moth

  I want to make her wait. It’s not going to be that long until we see each other again, but I’ll let her assume it will be.

  Yeah, okay. Talk to you soon. – W

  Sure thing. – Moth

  After I hit send I laugh to myself. She’s probably thinking I’m not that interested.

  I open my laptop and check the live feed from her house. She’s sitting on the couch still looking down at my message. Out of nowhere she stands up and tosses the cellular device onto the sofa before rushing to the front door. I switch camera views to see who could be visiting and get the surprise of my life. A light haired male walks into the place like he’s been there before. He’s pointing his finger and yelling something. I increase the volume to see if I can manage to make out what’s being said.

  “Bitch, you were told what to do. Either get the fucking job done or deal with the consequences of your actions.”

  “You don’t understand. I can’t do it. I’m trying, but it’s harder than I thought. I need time.”

  The guy grabs Windy by the hair and swings her around. He’s a lot taller so it looks like she’s a ragdoll. I clench my fist but refuse to turn away from the screen. Running two blocks to get to her could compromise all the work we’ve done.

  I freeze frame on the guy and start running it through facial recognition, while I split the screen to keep track of what he’s doing to Windy. She’s involved with these people and I want to know why. If she’s struggling to do something they’ve asked of her she can’t be all that bad, at least I’m rooting for her not to be.

  She’s crying now, pleading with him to give her more time.

  He shoves her down on the couch and points in her face again. “If I find out you’re lying to me I’ll kill you myself. I don’t give a shit who you are and what you’ve done for them. You’re nothing to me.”

  She�
��s curled up on the couch sobbing as the door slams. I touch the screen, wishing I could figure it all out when House comes walking into the room. “Did you get all that?”

  I’m disturbed as I spin around to face him. “Yeah, unfortunately.”

  He spreads his arms out like I’m supposed to know what he’s thinking. “Well? What are you waiting for? If you stop by now she’ll be vulnerable. She might tell you things she’s been reluctant to share.”

  I stand. He’s right. I need to move quickly before she can calm down. Time is of the essence.

  I'm almost out the door before I turn to yell, "If you get a hit on that image call me."‎ By the time I make it a half block away I already have a plan. I need Windy to cooperate without leading on I'm in it for information. Getting into character for her isn't difficult. It takes the trip over for me to calm down enough to know what to say when she'll answer the door. I wait a few seconds to catch my breath before knocking. She's going to assume I'm the same asshole who threatened her moments ago. I take a step backward just in case she comes out armed with a knife or some other sort of weapon.

  She hasn't wiped the running makeup from her face when the door comes ajar. Her blood shot eyes widen when she realizes it's me. "Moth. What are you doing here?"

  I rush toward her, acting as if I have no clue what has transpired. "Oh my god. What happened?" I ask while pulling her close. She's sobbing harder now.

  After a few seconds she's pushing me away. "You can't be here, Moth. I need you to go."

  I put my hands in my pockets. "Not a chance. Tell me what the hell is going on? I know we're not close, but I can tell you're clearly upset about something. Is it work? Did one of those dickheads say something?"

  She's shaking her head. "No. I can't talk about it. Please, Moth. I really like you. I don't want you involved in this."

  I take her hand and pull her toward the front door. "I'm not going anywhere unless you're coming with me."

  "No!" she's determined and adamant. "I can't do this. I'm sorry. I don't want to see you anymore. I've tried being nice but enough is enough. I need you to leave."