Moth

by Jennifer Foor

  "I don't believe you want me to."

  "That's because you think you're God's greatest gift to women. You wouldn't begin to understand what I'm feeling."

  "Stop bullshitting me, Windy."

  The moment I say her name she's gritting her teeth, her head shaking like she's not satisfied. "You don't even know me. None of this is real. Just go. Forget we met in that parking lot."

  ‎I remain in front of her like a brick wall. "If you're in trouble let me help you."

  "No one can help me. I'm beyond help. I've done things no one can be forgiven for. I'm a terrible person."

  I extend my hand again. "Let me get you out of here. I know a place. No questions asked."

  "Why won't you give up?"

  "It's not in my vocabulary. Come with me."

  "I'm not going to that house you live in."

  "I'm not taking you there."

  "Why? Why would you do this for me? I don't deserve to be helped."

  I reach for her chin and lift it so she's looking into my eyes. "I could turn around and walk away. Maybe you're trouble and being around you is dangerous. It's my decision to make. I'm going to step outside your door. If you want to come with me right now you'll pack a bag and meet me out front. If you don't come out in five minutes I'll leave and never come back." I start to turn for the door. "Kissing you last night was one of the best damn moments I’ve had in as long as I can remember, so thanks for letting me have that."

  I don’t watch the time tick as I wait outside her door. I can’t be one-hundred percent confident she’ll appear, but I’m hopeful, both for the case and her own safety. Fake Windy continues to be threatened by numerous people, who are probably all working for the same source. My mind goes back to Maria and how her involvement with me cost her a life and future with her children. I can’t let history repeat itself. I can’t give up hope that this time will be different.

  The sound of her door unfastening lets me know she’s behind me. A small travel bag is dangling from her hand, and a worrisome glance is all she offers me. “This is a bad idea.”

  “Why? Something has you upset, so I’m going to get you away from it all for a little while.”

  “I have work and school.”

  “People get sick. You can make up the classwork. Most is online anyway,” I say with assumption.

  “How do I know you weren’t hired to do this?” She stops dead in her tracks, halfway down the stairs. We’re so close to freedom and she’s hesitating. It makes no sense.

  “What are you talking about? Hired to do what?” I’m reserved when I play stupid. “Look, I have no idea what is going on here. I get that you don’t want to talk about it, but if you’re in danger we need to go.”

  She shakes off her ill feeling and follows me outside.

  There’s only one problem with my brilliant plan.

  I ran to her. There’s no car waiting. If she’s already suspicious she’s going to be worse now. I quickly come up with something in my head. “My shit ass truck is in the shop.”

  “How did you get here?”

  “I was out running. Figured stopping by wouldn’t hurt.”

  She reaches in her purse and tosses me a set of keys. “Here, you drive, being that you’re supposed to be taking me somewhere.”

  I wink at her before heading to the driver’s side of the vehicle. Before inserting the key into the ignition I smell something with a fish-like odor. I get down closer to the pedals and it’s stronger, so I climb back out of the car and look underneath. Sure enough there’s a huge puddle. Someone has cut her brake lines in hopes that she’d crash and probably perishes. “What are you doing?” She’s asking.

  “Um, so when I was in high school I worked at an auto repair shop in town. One of the things I learned early on was the smell of brake fluid. It’s got a nasty fishy scent you can’t ever forget.”

  She leans over to my side and takes a whiff, covering her nose when she finally catches it. “Oh, wow. So I’m having car trouble now too?”

  “I’m afraid this might be intentional.”

  She seems horrified. “What?”

  “Windy, your brake lines appear to be cut. Someone wanted you to get behind the wheel and…” I can’t say it out loud. She’s already out of control with concern for her safety. It would be like adding fuel to an already stoked fire. “Come with me. We’re going to get a cab.”

  She hurries down the next block with me. I’m doing this in case they are doing surveillance from outside of her apartment building. I found and destroyed enough mini cameras to know someone had access to everything she does, so it’s only expected that they would be thorough. Later I’m going to have to commandeer each phone to check for tracking devices. Since she hasn’t explained the trouble she’s in I don’t want to alarm her or bring up suspicions. This is for her safety and mine.

  Not long after we begin walking do we come to a raggedy motel with a blinking sign. She yanks at my arm to stop. “What about this place? I could split the cost with you.”

  “Hell no. I’m not taking you to bed bug central. Keep walking.”

  A local movie theater is packed with patrons. As a couple climbs out of a taxi, we slip inside. I call out a location to the driver and we’re off.

  The hotel I’ve chosen is off the beaten path of town. It’s where I stayed when I was first in town trying to avoid my father. Windy says nothing as we check in and make our way to the room. I know this place is safe for her. There are no cameras and no listening devices to worry about. We can speak freely, even from the ears of my awaiting team.

  Windy sits her bag down on the bed and turns to face me. “You should go, Moth.”

  This time I’m not taking no for an answer. I’ve been patient, but enough is enough. “Look, I know I’ve said I wouldn’t ask, but what the fuck is going on? Who is after you? Why would they mess with your brakes? That could be attempted murder. Should we call the cops?”

  “No!” She’s waving her hands around. “Please. If you want to be my friend you have to trust me. No cops. We can’t contact them. No one can know.”

  I run my hand through my hair. “If you want my help then the secrets stop now. What are you involved in?”

  She slumps down on the mattress. “I told you to go. I’ll pay you back for this room as soon as I can figure out what to do next. I can’t stay here for more than one night.”

  “Why?”

  She’s crying. I can hear the sniffles resonating. “If I tell you, they’ll come after you too. Moth, I’m not a bad person, but I’ve done things. I’ve seen things. You shouldn’t be here with me. If they find out we’re involved.”

  This is like a light switch going off. “Involved? You’ve pushed me away since we met. Now, of all the times, you’re going to admit there is something between us. Make up your damn mind or I’m walking out that door and you’ll never see me again.”

  “You should. It’s the best choice for you.”

  I plop down next to her and fold my hands together. “Windy, be straight with me.”

  “Fine. My life was over before we met.”

  “Are you running from something?”

  “No. I can’t get away from the people who are threatening me. They’re everywhere.”

  “What kind of trouble are you in? Did you witness a murder? You mentioned your brother once. Does he have something to do with this?”

  She nods. “It’s his fault. This is all his fault.”

  “Do the people know that?”

  “They have him. They’re using him as leverage so I do what they want.”

  “Which is what?”

  She stands and refuses to face me. “I’ve said enough. Please, Moth. You have to go. I won’t be responsible for another person. I can’t. You’re a nice guy. You don’t deserve to be a part of this.”

  I reach for her hand and take it. She turns and flashes me an inquisitive glare. “I’m a selfish bastard. I’m cocky and arrogant when I want to be. I’m old e
nough to make my own choices. I’m staying here with you, not because I expect gratitude, but because if I walk out that door and something happens to you I’ll never forgive myself.”

  She’s in my arms before I can blink. I bring my hands up and hold her close. I’m overwhelmed with emotions I’ve never experienced before on the job. This isn’t pity. It’s instinct. This girl is scared. She’s petrified. Right now I’m going to be her friend, and when I know she’s out of harm’s way I’m going to figure this out and make these people pay.

  Chapter 13

  She’s stopped talking. Windy hasn’t moved from the bed. She’s been crying on and off since we arrived. I’ve order us food twice and she refuses to touch it. I don’t know how much more of this silent treatment I can take.

  A new message sounds on my phone. I check to make sure she isn’t looking before checking it.

  We’ve uncovered some information regarding Windy Lewis before she was reported missing. It turns out she was in the same graduating class as a ‎Fredo Angelos. You might recognize the name as the guy we took down last year when we raided that compound in Honduras. He was making the synthetic grade heroin connected to those deaths in Pennsylvania. His connection to Alizar was already a dead end when he refused to turn over evidence regarding the operation. He knew he was better off dying in jail than double crossing him. - Renner

  No shit! That can't be a coincidence. This case is going to bite us in the ass. - Moth

  We’re thinking the same damn thing. What do you want to do now? - Renner

  I look over at Windy, who appears to be asleep, then text him back.

  I’m staying here with the female. I’ll do what it takes to uncover whatever it is she’s hiding. – Moth

  You’re going to fuck her, aren’t you? – Renner

  Fuck off. – Moth

  House bet me fifty bucks you’re getting it on right now. - Renner

  Since you’re not busy, contact Stebbins with local police. See if he can dig up the investigator on the original missing person’s case, and find out why the fuck it’s no longer in the system. - Moth

  As much as I’d like to know what she’s like in the sack, I can’t taint an investigation to get my dick wet. I’ve devoted my life to getting justice. No pussy is worth losing my badge over, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t considered crossing the lines. Windy is different. I may not know her name. I may not know her game, but when I’m with her it feels right. When I look into those huge brown eyes I see innocence. I can’t shake it. I’ve never been wrong about anyone before. Why would it happen now?

  After shoving my phone back in my pocket I stretch out my arms and turn to face the bed. I need to head out for a bit and gather some things so I’ll be more comfortable. I can’t exactly walk around armed in fear of people noticing I’m packing.

  I sit on the edge of the mattress and see her opening her eyes. “Hey,” I say in a whisper. “I need to head back to my place and get some things. Are you okay here, or do you want to come with me?”

  She leans up on a pillow. “I don’t need a babysitter, Moth. I’m a grown woman. I can handle myself.”

  I move off the mattress and kneel at her side. “Windy, I understand you don’t want to tell me anything, but I urge you to call the police.”

  “I can’t. No police, Moth. If that’s why you’re leaving don’t bother coming back.”

  I toss my hands in the air. “Calm down. I’m only trying to get things figured out.”

  "Fine. No cops. I don't know what you're involved in. Maybe I don't want to know, but you can't expect me to sit back and be okay about people messing with your brake lines and making you upset. Who are these people? What did you do?" I stand and begin to pace. She's leaving me no choice but to scare her. "You know what, I'm not going to put my neck on the line for someone who won't trust me. I'm a nice guy. I've gone above and beyond, but we just met. I get it. I know you don't need a babysitter. If you don't want to stay here then there is the door." I point as I say it. "I need to go home and get a change of clothes, and some school stuff. If you're not here when I get back I'll understand. I'll leave you alone and hope I don't hear about you on the news tonight. If we never meet again, good luck, Windy Lewis."

  I exit the room before she can respond. I've profiled enough people to understand how this individual thinks. She needs to feel helpless before she can allow herself to open up to someone. If she's involved with Alizar there is no telling how deep her devotion lies. I'm uncertain of how this may play out, but hope it's not going to be another dead end. I need a break, and my gut is telling me she's the answer.

  Back at the surveillance platform house, Renner and House are busy working with Pennsylvania Law enforcement to figure out why Windy's social security number wasn’t flagged by the missing persons database. Since the FBI has taken over we would have been notified when we started looking up the record, but nothing has happened. It makes no sense at all.

  I grab my laptop and my book bag and bid them farewell for the evening. I already know what they're thinking so appreciate they are both on phone calls and can't give me shit about it.

  I take my time gathering some extra clothes from my brother's place. Windy needs to think I'm through playing her games. I want answers, and I'm done being nice about it.

  It's more than an hour later when I finally head back to the hotel. I expect it to be empty, but hear the sound of the shower as soon as I step inside. "It's me, Moth," I say so she's not alarmed. “I’m back.”

  The sound of the water running stops. I’m standing in between the doorway of the bathroom and main area. My eyes focus as I witness one leg surfacing and then two. I’m too afraid to look higher at first. Maybe I should walk away. Maybe she expects I won’t remain. I’ve been close enough to this woman to know what it feels like to touch her, to kiss her. I’ve seen her naked when she didn’t know I was watching. Now she’s only several feet away and I refuse to budge. Right now it’s not about hiding, or the case. It’s not about extracting her from danger, or figuring out what she’s lying about. This is about my carnal desire I can’t seem to shake. I’ve seen pain, hunger, hurt, loss, but never have I witnessed such beauty as this. She’s the most fascinating human being I’ve ever laid eyes on, and I have to have her. It’s no longer a want but a need.

  Our eyes finally meet and a rush of warmth overcomes me. I’m strong, but this takes hold and devours my senses from the inside out. She’s wrapped in a towel, but standing, parts of her still dripping wet. Those puffy lips I can’t stop imagining kissing are parted like she’s about to say something. I place my hands in my pockets to see if this gets a response from her. I expect she’ll ask me to turn around or go into the hallway, but her eyes never leave mine. She’s silent, assumingly contemplating what, if anything, she can do to talk herself out of what I know we’re both experiencing. In all my life, in my past endeavors with different women, I’ve never felt an attraction like this. It’s impossible to do the right thing and walk away. Instead I stand there, waiting for a sign, for permission to take a step in her direction and end this intense conundrum.

  In this highly anticipated moment I predict nothing can surprise me, but the instant that towel hits the floor I’m left traumatized by my own scandalous appetite. “Is this what you expect from me, Moth?”

  I shake my head before replying. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want you. I think I’ve made that evident, but I don’t expect it. I most definitely don’t deserve it.”

  She takes a step closer. “You know what I don’t deserve? To be treated like an object. To be ordered to do things I’ve sworn I’d never be a part of. This life I’m living isn’t my own. For once, for right now, I want to do something for me. I want to be selfish, Monty Theroit.” She’s standing right in front of me now. Her fingers brush over my cheek while I remain completely still. “You’re here. I’m here. We’re both adults. You say you want me. Show me. I have everything to lose by letting you in my life. Nothing goo
d can come from this, but I’m tired of being someone else. I want to feel enjoyment. I need someone to touch me that I don’t despise. Can you be that man? Can you make me forget how fucked up my life has become?”

  I nod and bring one hand up to her waist. I’m not exactly holding her, but more so letting her know I’m not a statue. This is everything I want, and nothing I should have. She’s the enemy. She’s had a target on her back from the moment she came into my life. I can’t do this. I can’t throw caution to the wind, can I? Will I be able to come back from this? Will it solve anything?

  “Won’t this complicate things more?”

  “Do you still want to touch me, Moth? Do you want to fuck me?”

  I swallow the lump in my throat and disregard the misconceptions I’m fighting against. “That’s not the right question.”

  “What then?” Her hand travels down the center of my shirt. As she scrapes the fabric I can feel my dick reacting.

  “I wouldn’t be standing here if I didn’t want you. The question remains, is this what you want?”

  Her face turns to despair. I recognize it from years of seeing people miserable and desperate for reprieve. “The moment I walked out of that apartment with you I knew my life was probably over. You don’t know the people I’ve gotten myself involved with. They’re relentless. I’ve gone against their wishes and now I’ll pay the consequences. I’m unable to fulfill their requests. I can’t be the person they need. It’s hopeless. I had my chance at redemption. I had one opportunity to make things right, but I couldn’t follow through. I refuse. Everything changed the first time you kissed me.”

  I reach for her arm and latch onto it as I speak. “You’re being ridiculous. You sound like you’re in a movie with mobsters and ninjas. You’re a college student. You have a promising future. We can have this person arrested for messing with your car. Let the police take care of them so you can stop being afraid.”