Moth

by Jennifer Foor

  “You’re addicting,” I manage between kisses.

  “I can’t believe this is happening to me, now in the middle of the mess I’ve gotten involved in. Where did you come from? I’ve never been lucky before. Happiness doesn’t fall out of the sky. I’ve seen destruction at it’s worse, but here you are holding me and making me safer than I’ve ever been in my life. How is this possible?”

  We’re on the same page, which only makes this more complicated. This is where I should come clean, but doing so would end this fulfilling relationship. Though temporary, I crave to have more, for as long as I’m able, even if I have to pretend to be someone else to make it happen.

  I lift her up into my arms and feel those sexy legs surrounding my waist. I manage to turn off the spigot and carry her from the bathroom to the clean bedroom. We’re dripping, soaking wet, not that I care about the small details that would require me to stop this new found ambition.

  She’s sprawled out on the mattress as I climb over her. I can feel a chill from a draft and hear the loud beating of the heavy rain as it makes contact with the metal roof above us. We’re in our own sanctuary where nothing can get to us, where nothing will be able to stop us.

  We fuck like wild animals. She likes it hard and is able to bend her body in ways I never thought possible. I’m like a jackrabbit ramming into her as if tomorrow may never come. We’re covered in sweat nearly an hour later, lying overtop the disheveled blankets side by side. With nothing else to do I know this is only the beginning, but for now I need a breather. I’m exhausted and ready to pass out.

  The sounds of shallow breathing lets me know she’s fallen victim to her own slumber.

  I manage to slide off the bed without being detected. First I test out my theory by heading to the bathroom to take a leak. When I return she’s still in the same position.

  It’s difficult to walk away from such an artistic masterpiece. I etch the sight into my mind before heading downstairs where she’s left the bag she went back to the apartment for. I’m certain it doesn’t contain extra clothing, but another puzzle piece I’m dying to fit into this case.

  With a watchful guard on the upstairs bedroom door, I unzip the bag and reach inside to pull out the small safe. It’s a standard issue box, but it’s going to take some tools to get into. It’s a good thing I’m trained in such operations.

  I take it into the kitchen and start opening drawers trying to find two objects tiny enough to infiltrate the locking mechanism. After I have something I think will work, I put my ear close to the hole and begin the tedious task of fishing around.

  That’s when I hear the floor creaking behind me. I turn to see her standing halfway down the stairs. Her worried stare lets me know I’m in deep shit.

  I stand up straight, in all my naked glory, and prepare to be ordered away. I’ve snooped and ruined the trust she has for me. I’ve damaged the relationship and there’s no going back from it.

  She saunters into the room and takes the box away from me. “Next time ask.”

  I keep my arms folded. “You won’t tell me everything and I’m scared shitless for you. Put yourself in my shoes. What would you do?”

  She shrugs, but it’s obvious she’s not forgiving. “Probably the same, but that’s beside the fact.”

  It’s very hard to focus when she’s still in nothing but a lace thong. I don’t even remember her putting them on so it must have just occurred. “I’m sorry. It’s just, well you’re obviously hiding something from me. I think I’ve proven my loyalty. What’s in the box? Is this the reason people are coming after you? Did you steal something of importance?”

  She’s frowning and shaking her head while keeping a tight hold on the safe. “It’s my dad’s ashes, and a few other precious heirlooms. It’s all I have left of them so I didn’t want to leave it behind.”

  My stomach knots up and I’m torn between believing her or calling her out. “Seriously?”

  “Yes. My dad was involved with the wrong people. He thought he was doing the right thing for our family. He brought us to America to have a better life, but the people he worked for sent him to an early grave. I didn’t have the money for a proper funeral when I was a teenager. His ashes were all I managed to get back.” As she speaks I can hear the sadness radiating off her words. At least some of this story is true and I feel terrible for causing her to question whether she can trust me or not. I’m unable to consider this could be her best fabrication yet, because she’s sincere. The pain she suffered is showing in the way she’s holding her body. I feel sad for her, so I take a step closer and open my arms as a peace offering.

  “I’m so sorry, Nina. I shouldn’t have snooped.”

  She falls against me, a few sniffles still escaping her. “It’s okay. I can’t imagine what you must be thinking. I didn’t steal anything. They’re after me because of what I know. They’re after me because I want to end them and everything they represent.”

  “Who? What are you talking about?”

  She leads me over to the couch and we sit down facing one another. Nina wipes her tears away, sits the safe down on the table beside her, and takes a deep breath before continuing. “The less you know the safer you’ll be, but it’s only fair you know a little bit of why I need to lay low. The people I’m working for, the ones at the pharmaceutical company, they’re not just scientists looking to manufacture medicine to help people. They’re working to develop a synthetic strain of illegal narcotics that will lead them to take all control over distribution throughout the world. They’ll have the benefit of mass production with enough impact to ship it all around without detection from dogs and other border protocols.”

  This is the breakthrough I’ve been working for, but the news of her being involved is just as shocking. I want to fetch my phone and let the guys know we’re on the right track, but it’s not the time to break this woman down worse than I already have. I’m decent enough to know she needs time to figure what to do next. Her life is in danger because she’s tried to stop these people. It’s up to me to protect her by any means possible, even if it requires me to continue being Monty Theroit for a little while longer. “How? How did you find this out?”

  “My brother was one of the people who helped them get the business moved to Richmond. He was their employee. The man he worked for wanted to be able to manufacture his heroin in every country without the fear of it being seized, so they created the company as a front and opened facilities in several other countries, as well as the one in Richmond. They produce enough legal medications to make it look legit. Once it happens there’s no telling what will happen. No one knows any better.”

  I want to tell her we’ve been trying to figure out how Alizar has been doing this for years, and now she’s helping us get closer to this guy. I want to smile, because I know I can nail that motherfucker to his casket and bury his ass, but I can’t lead on that I’m excited. “What happened to your dad?”

  “My dad is the reason Nico got into this mess in the first place. We came to the states in the nineties. My dad worked several jobs to put a roof over our heads and food on the table. When his mother became ill most of his money went to her healthcare. After she died he became an alcoholic. He couldn’t take it anymore. All that remained of him was this shell no one could seem to get through. He shot himself when I was fifteen years old. Nico and I were put into foster care. I was taken in and adopted by a nice family, but he bounced around from place to place. By the time he became of age he was in a gang and committing crimes like crazy. I could see him going down the same path as my father.” She’s starting to lose it. I take her hand as she continues explaining. “He went to jail a couple of times, and while he was inside he got connected with a more notorious group of individuals. When he was released he went to work for them, smuggling and distributing in Richmond. We lost touch for a long time after that. I continued on to college and managed to get a good job. Two years ago I came to visit him from Washington, D.C. He told me he was in tr
ouble and if anything happened to him it had something to do with the company he worked for. That’s what brought me to Virginia.”

  “I don’t understand. Who is Windy Lewis?” Nina has a choice. She can tell me the truth, or make up something to smooth the blow. I’m eager to hear what she decides.

  It takes her a few minutes to settle enough to continue. She’s looking me directly in the eyes, not glancing away as she speaks like someone lying would normally do. “Windy Lewis was studying to be a scientist before she was reported missing by her family a couple years ago. I decided to pose as her because she apparently went to school with someone who previously worked for the organization Nico was a part of. I knew it would get my foot in the door and be a good cover to work with while I figured out what happened to my brother and how to stop these people. The guy she went to school with died in a federal penitentiary, so posing as a fellow student would be easy to pull off. It was my only way into the company. I managed to access her social security number and hack into the college database. From there I positioned myself where I’d be considered for the internship.”

  “Hold up.” I have to act surprised. In all honesty, I’m a bit taken back. “Assigned? You were posing? What the hell are you involved in? I asked if you were a cop and you said no.”

  “I’m not a cop, Moth. I’m an FBI field agent, well, I guess I was before all this. I’d just graduated from Quantico.”

  “Wait.” I hate to call her out, and maybe I shouldn’t overstep but I’m curious. “You weren’t born in the United States.”

  “I was naturalized when I was adopted. As long as a citizen is naturalized, adopted or married, they are allowed to do anything except be the Vice or actual President.”

  I nod. I remember hearing something like that before.

  I can’t say this is good news for my case. Now I’ve got the FBI involved, or do I? I’m sitting naked next to someone I’ve enjoyed too much, and now she’s telling me she’s with a federal organization investigating the same people I’m trying to take down. I don’t know whether to hug her or lose my shit.

  I rub my face with my hands and attempt to wrap my damn head around this clusterfuck. “So you are or you aren’t with the FBI?”

  “I never returned for duty. I suppose they would say I’ve gone rogue.”

  “So let me get this straight?” I’m struggling to keep up and that’s a first. “Your brother, who is really your cousin is involved in an illegal narcotics operation and you took it upon yourself as a civilian to take them down?”

  She shakes her head. “No. Not exactly. I didn’t know all the details until I started working with the company. I always wondered why and how my brother could land such a good paying job without an education. There were a lot of red flags. I kept tabs on his bank account for a while, and tapped his phone. I was suspicious, so when he disappeared I knew that company held the answers.”

  “I’ve got tell you, Nina, shit just got real here. I don’t think you know how involved you are now, who you’ve gotten into bed with.”

  “I know fully well how much danger I’m in. They’ve made me. They know who I really am. They’ve been after me to do something for a while now. They said I’m expendable but they’ll tell me what happened to Nico if I cooperate and give them what they want.”

  “What is it? What do they want from you?”

  She begins to plug in a code on the safe. From the angle she’s faced on the edge of the couch I’m unable to see inside when it opens. In a matter of seconds there is a gun positioned at my head. Tears are streaming down her face and she’s struggling with her words. “They want the DEA to back off.”

  Chapter 18

  Nina stands and backs up, the gun cocked and still positioned to blow my brains into the next room. Her legs are spread apart and it’s obvious she knows how to handle the weapon. This isn’t her first rodeo and I’m in a heap of trouble.

  I put both hands in the air. “You’ve been playing me all along?”

  “That’s the funny thing. You walked into my life. I didn’t have to do a damn thing.”

  I begin thinking back to the visitors at her apartment and my mind begins to churn with scenarios. This could be my last few seconds alive. It would take someone months, maybe even more to find my body out here in the middle of nowhere. She’s either really lucky, or this was her plan all along. “Just hang on a minute before you blow my head off. If you know who I am then you know who my brother was. Tell me how he fits into all of this?”

  “Your brother is the reason they made me. I tapped into the bosses office and overheard him on a call with someone I assume is the person running this whole thing ordering a hit on your brother, so I sought him out to try to protect him.”

  “Protect him?” I’m becoming furious. “You got him killed. You could have contacted the police or authorities. What the fuck were you thinking? FBI agents are trained for this.”

  “I wanted to, Moth. I swear it. I picked up the phone countless times, but I knew someone was always listening. I even got a burner to hide some of my conversations with people who’ve been secretly getting me intel. You don’t understand how involved this is.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. I know exactly how serious it is. For years I’ve been after this guy and now he’s made it personal. That’s why I’m here.”

  “That’s why he wants you here. Don’t you get it? He’s got eyes everywhere. He knows how to play people. All I wanted was to find my brother. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

  “Did you kill my brother?”

  She shakes her head. I can see the shock in her eyes as I ask it. “No. I promise you that I didn’t do it. I’d been spending so much time with him to protect him. He thought he was tutoring me. I put a live feed in his room and…”

  It hits me. The room I’ve been staying in has been bugged. She’s been watching me this whole time. She knows I was watching her. “You little bitch.”

  I start to go at her, but she waves the gun around to remind I’m not control. “Don’t come any closer. Please don’t make this harder than it already is.”

  “You made me want you. That’s so fucked up.”

  “I knew if we were together I could keep you safe until the time was right to tell you the truth.”

  I point in her direction. “You’re crazy. This isn’t the right time. The funeral would have been the right fucking time, or when you overheard they were going to murder my brother.”

  “I’m sorry. If it was your family you would have done the same thing. I’ve given up my life for this, Moth. I have nothing – no job to return to. All my training, years of school and preparation and this is how it’s all going to end. I have to pull this trigger, because if I don’t they’ll find me and kill me.”

  “Sorry, toots, but they’re going to kill you anyway. You’re a pawn. You’re a fucking little pawn who never should have tried to hang with the big guys. You nailed your own fucking coffin.”

  “Don’t say that! Please. You have to know this isn’t what I want.”

  “Fuck you. Just shoot me already. Get it over with, or are you too fucking scared to pull the trigger?”

  I’m surprised she’s still crying, but I can only assume it’s a show. Everything else has been nothing but a game to get me to this point. She’s used me and led me to my death. I have nothing but hatred for her, yet as I watch her tears stream down her face I feel pity. She may have gotten herself into this situation, but it happened because the love she felt for her family. She’s right. I would have done the same damn thing. While I wait to feel my life slip away, I close my eyes. I can’t look into those beautiful brown eyes. I’m determined they won’t be the last thing I see.

  I hear the safety being flipped back on. My lids open to discover she’s lowered the gun. Our eyes meet and I’m taken back by emotions I shouldn’t be experiencing. Her face is contorted and strained. She’s bawling, falling to the floor in a heap of her own misery. I don’t know whether to
fight for the gun, get the hell out of there, or dip down to be the savior she desperately needs.

  In the past I wouldn’t think twice about destroying this person that’s done nothing but lie since the day we met, but Nina is different. Somehow she’s managed to get to me on a personal level whether I like it or not. She’s struggling and though I’ve never been in her predicament I’d like to think I’d be fighting my own demons in a similar manner. I crouch down beside her and wait for her to acknowledge me. Gradually, my hand comes over the weapon and pushes it to the side, while I speak in a calm tone. “Why can’t you do it?”

  She tries to shove me away, her teeth gritting as she speaks through them. “You know why.” I watch her fall back and put the gun up to her temple. She’s crunching up her pretty face in preparation of the fire.

  I rush on top of her, smacking the gun so hard it flies out of her grip and about ten feet away. “No. You’re not getting out of this that easy. Do you hear me, Nina?”

  “I’m dead regardless, Moth. Whether I do it, you do it, or they find me, I’m dead. There’s nothing anyone can do about it. Just let me do it on my own. Please. It’s better this way.”

  I sit up and run my hands over my face. I never thought I’d be naked while fighting for my life. I don’t know why I trust that she’s not going to go after the weapon, but I do. She’s behind me sniffling while I continue to work through this madness in my head. “Was any of it real?” Why should I care? I was a target from the get go. How I let myself get involved with this deceitful woman is beyond my recognition. I’ve let my guard down to be taken advantage of. I can’t fathom what this will do to me, my career, and mostly my ego. She’s destroyed me, yet I can’t begin to understand why I want to keep her alive, close to me even.

  “Don’t ask that.”

  I turn to face her. “Why? Were you faking the whole time? When we were fucking did you fake that too?”