Dying To Tell

by Beevis, Keri

  * * *

  She had no idea he was there.

  He had watched her down by the creek with the spaniel, saw that she was alone and had been toying with approaching her when the blonde woman had appeared. Irritation had coursed through him as he watched them talk, realised he had missed his opportunity.

  When the women eventually parted ways, Lila and the dog headed straight back to the house. He didn’t dare go knock on the door, knew Jack was home and wouldn’t react well to seeing him.

  With the chance to get Lila on her own gone, he ambled back to his car. He had driven up to the coast on a whim, had spent much of the night sitting behind the wheel and watching the house, wondering how the hell he was going to make this work. He should have thought things through and come up with a plan, but he had been impatient. That was always his problem. He often acted without thinking about the consequences. It was how he ended up in trouble.

  This time he had to do things right.

  * * *

  After drying Cooper – not the easiest of tasks with a broken leg, especially as he kept thwarting her efforts, desperate to get the large bone Jack had previously bought him – Lila filled his food and water bowls, and put on the coffee maker.

  The house was quiet aside for the sound of Cooper gnawing at his bone and the drip of the coffee filter and when Jack’s phone vibrated on the counter, Lila jumped. She glanced at the offending object as it bounced around, stopping when she saw the name on the screen.

  Tiff.

  For a moment she didn’t think she could breathe, her heart in her mouth, a chill on her skin as she watched the phone ring until it finally cut into voicemail.

  Why was Tiff calling Jack?

  As she continued to stare at the phone, tried to rationalise the call, telling herself she was overreacting and it was nothing, a text came through, and she could see the opening couple of lines on the screen.

  I’m so glad you called last night. I love you and now I know you still love me we’re going to…

  The screen turned black and Lila released the breath she hadn’t realised she was holding. She was going to be sick. Jack had called Tiff the previous night and told her he still loved her. When was he planning on breaking this news to Lila?

  Or perhaps he wasn’t.

  Suddenly it all made sense, why he had been acting weird, where he had been all night. He missed Tiff, wanted his relationship back, and when he had found out the truth about Stephanie, she was the one he had turned to. That knowledge cut like a knife.

  Jack didn’t have a lock on his phone and part of Lila wanted to open the text, read the rest of the message, but she wasn’t sure she could bring herself to do so, scared of what it might say. Not that anything could make her feel any worse than she did at that moment.

  She glanced at the phone, knew it was a betrayal to read the message, but damn it, Jack had just betrayed her, declaring his love to his ex-girlfriend before coming home and cosying up to Lila. And like a fool, she had fallen for every word he had said, every promise he had made, been weakened by every kiss, believing that he really was sorry for scaring her. Instead it had all been a lie.

  To hell with it. With shaking fingers, she swiped the screen, clicked on the text.

  I’m so glad you called last night. I love you and now I know you still love me, we’re going to work this out, Jack. I’ll come up Sunday and we’ll talk, make things right again. I’ve missed you so much. xoxo

  Lila had been wrong when she thought she couldn’t feel any worse. The pain went deeper than she thought was possible. Tiff was coming to Norfolk the next day? So Jack must be planning on telling Lila things were over this morning.

  For a moment she held on to the counter convinced she was going to be sick.

  It crossed her mind that perhaps he wasn’t really asleep. Maybe he was lying in bed, trying to figure out the best way to tell her things were over.

  Screw him. She wouldn’t let him humiliate her like that.

  While part of her was tempted to go upstairs and bash him over the head with one of her crutches, violence wasn’t her style. Fuck Jack Foley. If it was over, it would be on her terms.

  She didn’t dare chance trying to catch a bus, had no idea how frequently they ran from Burnham Overy Staithe on a Saturday. She wanted to be gone before Jack woke and couldn’t handle the humiliation of him finding her waiting at a bus stop again, like the first day they had met.

  Elliot would drive back and get her, but that would take time. Lila couldn’t stay in the house. She needed to be gone.

  That only left the option of a cab. She didn’t have enough money to get one all the way back to Norwich, but she could probably scrape the money together for the fare to Fakenham or Holt.

  She googled the number for a local taxi company and gave them a call, emptying her purse on the counter as they quoted her fares. Holt was out, but she just about had enough to get to Fakenham. She would call Elliot on the way. Ask him to come get her. She booked the cab; relieved when they told her they could be with her in ten minutes.

  The clothes and toiletries she had brought with her were upstairs, but she would have to forego them. If she went into the bedroom, she would have to see Jack again and she couldn’t deal with that. She grabbed her iPad, irritated when she saw the battery was low, knew she didn’t have time to charge it before leaving, and shoved it in her bag along with her purse. She left her phone out on the counter and waited for the taxi driver to call.

  Eight torturous minutes passed, each one feeling longer than the last, as she beat herself up for trusting Jack, for being stupid enough to fall for him. Since Charlie, she had been so careful to guard her heart from being stomped on again. How could she have been so foolish? Damn Jack to hell, she had been halfway in love with him, maybe more than halfway.

  She pounced on her phone when it rang, announcing the cab’s arrival, dropped it on the counter again when Cooper leapt up, hearing the car outside, and started barking.

  ‘No, Cooper, shush.’

  He would wake Jack. She had to go before he came downstairs.

  Hitching her bag on her shoulder, she grabbed her crutches and made her way towards the door, letting herself out of the house, guilty that she hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye to Cooper properly.

  She got in the cab as quickly as she could, didn’t spare a glance back at the house until they were pulling away from the driveway. Part of her expected to see Jack standing in the doorway, but the door was still shut and there was no sign of him. Disappointment tinged her relief.

  It was better this way, not seeing him. She wondered if maybe she should have written him a note, telling him why she had gone. The last thing she wanted was for him to come after her looking for an explanation. If she had left a note he would know she had seen the text, probably be relieved that he didn’t have to dump her.

  She kicked herself for not thinking about it before then, decided she would send him a brief text when she got home telling him why she had left and not to contact her.

  Alone with her thoughts, knowing that she would never see him again, and that knowledge stinging her to the core, her emotions finally got the better of her. She saw the cabbie glance in the rear-view mirror, her cheeks burning as she willed the tears not to fall. She had been humiliated enough for one morning; there was no way in hell she was going to fall apart in the back of the taxi.

  When the driver glanced at her again, she forced a tight smile and looked out of the window.

  She had planned to call Elliot during the journey, but the cab was so quiet, the driver preferring silence to a radio, she didn’t want to have the conversation in front of him. She would call Elliot when she reached Fakenham. It was a warm day and she could find somewhere outside to sit and wait for him. She could probably do with the fresh air and the time alone to help clear her head and put things into focus… brood about the fact her world had been turned upside down.

  She told herself to stop being so dramatic.
Things were never going to work with Jack; deep down she had known that. They came from different worlds, had been thrown together by tragedy. The feelings they had for each other had come so fast and hard, it should come as no surprise they would die down just as quickly… for Jack at least. Lila had a feeling she may need a whole lot longer.

  She was grateful when the cab pulled into Fakenham town centre, relieved to get away from the prying eyes of the taxi driver. She paid the fare; annoyed her hands were still shaking. It was precious money she could ill afford. Without being able to work, her finances had taken a big hit and she knew her bank account was already empty. Ever since being declared bankrupt, she didn’t have the luxury of credit cards or overdrafts and all she had was the seventy-eight pence in her purse.

  Much as she hated the idea, she was going to have to talk to her brother and ask for a loan. She knew Elliot would give it to her without hesitation, would insist on it being a gift not a loan, but he was her little brother. She was supposed to look after him, not the other way around.

  Finding a circular bench under the shelter of a large tree, Lila sat down to gather her thoughts. She had managed to get away before Jack had awoken. The most difficult part of this was over. Now all she had to do was call her brother and sit tight until he came to pick her up. It wasn’t such a hardship. She had a pleasant enough seat and with the Saturday morning shoppers and the guitarist busking a few yards away, it should be easy to keep herself distracted.

  She reached into her bag for her phone, eager to call Elliot and get home to her flat. When she was finally home and locked away from everyone, she would give into the emotions she was trying to keep at bay. Jack didn’t deserve her tears, but she knew they would fall anyway. God damn him for hurting her like this.

  She felt the first lick of fear as she rummaged in her bag, couldn’t find her phone. Frustrated, she tipped the contents of her bag out onto the bench: keys, iPad, purse, hairbrush, tissues, a couple of loose tampons (that she quickly shoved back in the bag) and a packet of mint Tic Tacs.

  Where the hell was her phone?

  Frantically she checked the lining of the bag again, tried to recall her movements as she had left Jack’s house. She’d had the phone when the cab arrived, had answered it when the driver called. It had been in her hand, so where the hell was it now?

  And then she remembered, heart sinking, as she recalled Cooper barking and how she had tried to shut him up, scared he would wake Jack. She had put her phone down on the counter and hadn’t picked it up.

  You idiot, Lila. How could you be so stupid?

  She forced herself to focus, aware she was currently stranded in a market town more than twenty miles from home with no phone and no money to get home.

  Her iPad. Some of the shops were bound to have wifi. She would get a signal and send Elliot a message on Facebook. If he didn’t see it she could always message Beth or Natalie.

  The relief was short-lived as she picked up her iPad, realised it was out of charge.

  Fuck!

  What the hell was she going to do?

  When panic threatened to take over, she drew a couple of deep breaths and tried to calm down. There would be a solution. She had to think rationally.

  She had her cash card. Even though she was pretty sure her account was empty, it was still worth checking. Failing that, maybe her bank had a branch in Fakenham. She could ask around and find out. Surely if she explained her predicament they would let her borrow a phone to call her brother. And if that didn’t work, could she go to the police for help? It wasn’t an emergency, but she just needed to make one phone call.

  Feeling buoyed that she had a plan, she reached for her crutches. As she started to get up, she heard a familiar voice.

  ‘Lila?’

  * * *

  Hayley Baxter stepped out of the letting agency, spotting Jack’s girlfriend immediately. Even from a distance, with her crutches, one leg plastered, the other wearing a cowboy boot, and her brightly coloured dress she was instantly recognisable, and she looked a little distressed, glancing around as if unsure of where she wanted to go.

  Hayley had only met her down at the creek a short while earlier. Lila, she recalled. What was she doing in Fakenham? Hayley was about to go over and ask if the girl was okay, perhaps needed a lift back to Burnham, when someone approached her.

  At first Hayley thought he was harassing her. Lila seemed a little agitated, almost looked panicked, but then she saw Lila nod at the man and they started talking. It seemed she was okay after all.

  37

  Stephanie was firmly on Jack’s mind the second he awoke. Surprisingly he had slept heavily and seemingly dream free, but now he was back in the land of the living every unwelcome detail from the previous night resurfaced, from what had happened in the restaurant, the knowledge of what Giles had done to his sister, to his ill-judged phone call to Tiffany, to the way he had treated Lila.

  He cranked one eye open, saw the crack of sunlight through the curtain, and glanced at his watch, surprised at the time. He rolled over, found Lila’s side of the bed empty. From the coolness of the sheets, she hadn’t been there in a while.

  The previous night when he had finally pulled his head out of his arse, it had really hit him how much she meant to him, and although he had tried to tell her that when he finally got home from the beach, she had been crazy mad at him. And truth was he couldn’t blame her. She had put up with his bullshit, been patient with him, for long enough.

  Although she had eventually calmed down, he still needed to fix things, planned to do that regardless of how long it took because he knew she was worth it. What had happened to Stephanie was beyond awful and Jack knew he still had to deal with that, would probably end up grieving his sister all over again, and he would need Lila’s support more than ever, but Steph was gone and this was about making things right with the person he needed the most.

  As he showered, he tried to figure out how the hell he was going to do that after everything he had put her through. He thought about his phone call to Tiffany, knew Lila would be beyond hurt when she learnt he had called his ex-girlfriend. But he also knew he owed Lila the truth. She was too important to lie to and hopefully, if he was honest with her, they could move past it.

  He expected to find her curled up on the sofa, either asleep or reading her Kindle. He knew she had barely slept the past couple of nights – all his fault – and she had to be exhausted. When he saw she wasn’t there, he figured maybe she had let Cooper out, but then the dog sauntered over, bone in mouth, and dropped it in front of Jack, Cooper’s tail thumping and a wide grin on his black and white doggy face.

  Jack gave him a brief rub on the head before heading through into the kitchen, a tiny knot of anxiety tightening his gut when he saw Lila wasn’t in there. The doors were all closed; suggesting she hadn’t gone outside, but her iPad wasn’t on the kitchen table where it had mostly sat and the oversized patchwork handbag she used wasn’t hanging over the edge of the chair where she generally left it.

  ‘Lila?’

  Jack waited a beat, called again; his panic raising a notch when there was no answer.

  Where the hell was she? Had something happened?

  Remembering Elliot had stayed over, Jack went to the kitchen window that looked out on the drive, but saw the kid’s car was gone. Had Lila left with him?

  Needing to know she was safe, Jack grabbed his phone from the counter, swiped it open, his heart going into his mouth as he read the text from Tiffany that was on the screen.

  Jesus! What the hell had he done?

  The message was open and there was no doubting Lila had seen it. Jack knew she was paranoid about Tiff, stupidly worried that she wasn’t good enough for him. Seriously, she had no idea how wrong she was. But he couldn’t blame her for thinking that way, knew that by acting like a complete twat, he had given her every right to be suspicious.

  Somehow he had to make things right. Lila was the best thing that had ever happened
to him. He couldn’t lose her. Wouldn’t.

  He dialled her number, willed her to pick up, freezing when he heard the opening bars of her ringtone coming from behind him and the instantly recognisable sound of Dave Grohl. All my life I’ve been searching for something, something never comes, never leads to nothing…

  He shot around, saw her phone lit up on the counter, and grabbed it.

  So if her mobile was there, where the hell was she?

  Ending the call, but keeping her phone in his hand, he walked from room to room looking for her, frustrated when he had searched the whole house and she was nowhere to be seen. Her things were still in his bedroom, but it bothered him that her bag was gone.

  He tried to put himself in her shoes. She had been mad as hell at him the previous night and although she had eventually calmed down, finding that text on his phone from Tiff would have likely tipped Lila over the edge. She wasn’t in the house, but she had left her phone behind, which made no sense. He opened the French doors, searched the perimeter of the house. There was no sign of her in the garden, on the decking or down by the creek and he couldn’t picture her wandering further afield without her phone and especially with a broken leg.

  Had something happened to her?

  Suddenly fearing the worst, Jack dialled Elliot’s number from Lila’s phone, waited what seemed like an age for him to answer.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Where’s Lila?’

  There was a long pause. ‘Uh, with you?’ Elliot answered cautiously, sounding suspicious in case it was a trick question.

  ‘She’s not here.’

  ‘Okay, maybe she went out for some air or something. She was pretty mad at you last night.’

  ‘I know. I’ve looked outside for her and there’s no sign of her anywhere.’

  ‘Maybe she went for a walk.’

  ‘She has a broken leg! Her bag’s gone, her iPad too I think.’