Imperfect Chaos

by York, Marie

  The longest seventy-two hours of her life. She loved to remind me about that. She also liked to remind me that Kennedy came out almost an hour after she went into labor. Because Kennedy was better at everything, even pushing her way through a fucking cervix.

  I clenched my teeth because if I opened my mouth, it was going to be a total shit show.

  “You will re-enroll next semester,” she said matter-of-factly, and I imagined her on the other end, examining her nails, and thinking of how she’d rather be spending her time at the nail salon than talking to her own son.

  “No, I won’t.”

  “You have two semesters left before you finish your degree and you will finish it. Or you will pay every single penny back that your father and I wasted for the past three years. You got that?!”

  There was no way in fucking hell either of those things were going to happen. I didn’t even want to go to college. They shoved it down my throat and forced me. The only choice I had was where. So, I purposely chose the place where I could get as far away from their miserable asses as possible. Yet, they still found a way to piss me off.

  “Whatever,” I said, just so I could get off the phone.

  “This isn’t a threat, Nixon. It’s a promise. Re-enroll or expect a bill in the mail.” She let out a sigh. “If only you were more like Kennedy. She would never do anything like this.”

  “Because she’s so damn perfect, right? Well you know what.” I weighed the words in my mind before blurting them out. “Your perfect little daughter is sleeping with Beckham, the same guy who used to get drunk off of your vodka. Who got a girl pregnant in California, and bailed on her, moving across the country so he didn’t have to take responsibility. So, if I were you, I’d be a little more concerned about your precious daughter before she becomes another one of Beckham’s casualties.”

  The line went dead, and tension pulled tight across my neck as my blood boiled. “Fuck!” I threw my phone onto the passenger floor; lucky the screen didn’t shatter into a million pieces.

  I pulled into the parking lot and slammed Tanya into park. I reached across to the passenger seat and retrieved my phone. Without even thinking, I opened my texts, and pulled up Kennedy’s name.

  Mom knows. I told her EVERYTHING. Good luck getting out of this one.

  A smile spread across my face. Stupid bitch. She’d never understand what it was like to be a disappointment but I was sure as hell going to try to show her. It wasn’t fair that she got to live her life on a goddamned pedestal. I vowed to myself that I would do everything in my power to knock it out from beneath her and maybe I finally had.

  I shoved my phone in my pocket and headed inside. Mark wanted to meet with me today, and I had time between clients.

  I headed inside and went right to Mark’s shithole of an office in the back corner. He didn’t even have any walls, just a desk and a chair. There were a few guys training in the ring and a couple others on bags. All new meat, barely eighteen and hoping to be the next big thing I was sure.

  That’s how I’d felt the first time I walked in those doors. The difference was, I didn’t hope. I just knew. Mark had said he saw something in me that reminded him of himself. He knew I had what it took, and he was the only person to ever believe in me. I sure as hell wasn’t going to let him down.

  “Hey.” I approached Mark. His head was in a stack of papers, and when he heard me, he leaned back with a smile.

  “Sit,” he said, never one for pleasantries which is probably why we got along so well.

  I plopped into the chair, dropped my keys on his desk, and lounged back.

  “How’s your face?” He nodded toward me.

  “Fine.” It was just bruised. “I’ve had worse.” After my first fight, I was barely recognizable, but I still managed to win. Instead of losing steam, I let each hit fuel my fire, and I came out on top. That was the moment I knew I wanted the cage to be my life. The next day, I stopped going to my classes.

  Mark scratched his ear that had become cauliflowered from years of taking beatings. “Ain’t that the truth,” he said with a laugh.

  “So what’s up? Why’d you want to meet?”

  “I spoke with Sal, and he said he booked you with Seth.”

  I punched my palm. “I can’t wait. Once I beat him—”

  Mark held his hand up and leaned forward, resting his huge arms on his desk. “I have concerns.”

  “Oh, come on. Not you too. Is everyone turning into a fucking pussy?”

  Mark raised a dark eyebrow at me. “The closest I’ll ever be to a pussy is having one around my dick. Got it?”

  I laughed and gave him a nod.

  “As I was saying, Seth is a known manipulator. He’s a sick fuck that finds pleasure in not just the physical part of the fight, but also the mental. He will get in your head.”

  “Like I told Sal, he won’t. I don’t have weaknesses. He’s got nothing on me.”

  “No? Then what the fuck happened the other night? You were unfocused. A stumbling fool at first, and then a loose cannon. You lost control. You’re lucky you didn’t get disqualified.”

  “They wouldn’t disqualify me.”

  “You need to stop thinking that you’re fucking invincible because it will be the death of you. Just tell me you’ve dealt with whatever that was the other night.”

  “It’s taken care of.”

  “That’s all I want to hear. We have to kick up your training. Seth will be a challenge. I’ll write up a new schedule this week.”

  I stood up and gave Mark a fist bump. “Sounds good.”

  I headed back to Tanya and my phone buzzed in my pocket. I slid it out and saw Kennedy finally messaged me back. I swiped the screen, and laughed as I read her response.

  You’re pathetic.

  Chapter 12

  Nixon

  Sassy meowed and rubbed up against my leg as I was about to walk out the door. I bent down and scooped her up. I scratched her scruff, and she purred her gratitude. “Sorry, girl. I’m cheating on you again tonight.”

  I went to the cabinet and pulled out some catnip. I held it up to Sassy, and she suddenly didn’t give two shits about me. “Have at it,” I said and placed her and her kitty crack on the floor.

  I snuck out the door. Not like I had to, Sassy was currently on her back, rolling around like a pig in shit.

  It didn’t take long to get across town, and for a change, I beat Brooklyn there. I got out of Tanya and headed inside. I turned the lights on and went over to the punching bag. I started jabbing at the bag, and within minutes, I’d already worked up a sweat. I stripped my shirt off and continued, switching it up by adding kicks.

  Sweat dripped down my forehead and I kept going. Adrenaline pumped through my veins, and it was the same feeling I got before a fight. I loved that feeling. Lived for it.

  I punched the bag one more time and pushed off. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Brooklyn. Her curls were pulled back into a pony tail except for a few stubborn ones. She looked beautiful hanging on the climbing rope.

  “Don’t stop on my account,” she said with that gorgeous smile of hers.

  “Enjoying the view?” I joked as I held up my arm and flexed.

  Her tongue darted out and she swiped it across her bottom lip. And damn that was sexy as hell. “Maybe,” she said as a blush crept up her cheeks. “You never told me if this is where you train.”

  “Yup.” I picked up my shirt off the ground and sat down on the bench.

  She smiled and joined me. “Tell me more.”

  If it were any other girl, I would have brushed it off, jumped in the ring and gotten this training session going, but with Brooklyn, I didn’t want to rush anything. I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could. It was a weird fucking feeling, and I couldn’t explain it for the life of me. But for the first time in my life, I wanted to let someone in.

  “A retired fighter, Mark Williams, opened this place. He’s actually the one who got me into fighting. He’s
my coach now. I think he just missed the ring, you know? And now he gets to relive the fight through me. And I get to use this place whenever I want.”

  “Seems like a pretty nice deal.”

  “It’s not bad.”

  “So what made you choose a sport that does this?” She lifted her hand and gently rested her finger tips beneath the bruise on my face.

  My dick hardened at her touch, and my desire to have her only grew. I cleared my throat as if that would help the raging hard-on I had going on. “I like to win, and in the cage, I always win.”

  Her eyelashes fluttered, and dammit she needed to stop that shit. “Always?”

  “Undefeated,” I confirmed.

  “And I bet you’re not cocky about it at all.”

  I lifted my eyebrows in mock shock. “Me? Never.”

  She laughed. It was the best sound I’d ever heard, and all I wanted to do was keep saying and doing things so I could hear it over and over again. I reached my hand out and tucked one of her stray curls behind her ear, letting my hand linger on the soft curve of her jaw. Her laughing stopped completely and I sighed. “Your laugh is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.”

  She cocked an eyebrow at me, then burst out with a big whopping laugh. “Is that the best line you have?”

  My hand fell back to my lap, but not one to accept defeat, I stood up, and bent down so my lips grazed her ear. “It’s not a line when you’re speaking the truth.” Her hand reached for her ear and stroked it while I backed away. I jumped into the ring and looked down at her. “You coming?”

  She nodded, then got up and followed me to the center. “So, what are you going to teach me today?”

  “The first move you usually learn in a women’s self-defense class.”

  Her eyebrows pinched above the bridge of her nose, creating a row of adorable wrinkles. “Then, why haven’t you showed it to me yet?”

  “I wanted to wait till you were more comfortable with me?”

  “Why?” she asked.

  “Lay down.”

  She looked at me skeptically, but then did as I said. I went to her, taking her legs, trying to ignore how amazing they felt in my hands and pushed them into the proper position. I got on my knees, and went in between her legs, pushing my crotch into her, then rested my hands on either side of her face.

  “Oh,” she whispered.

  She smelled so fucking good, and with the restraint of a god, I focused on the task. “The first thing you want to do is push your hands into my chest. You don’t want me to be able to do this.” I leaned down, pressing my chest against her tits. She sucked in a ragged breath, and I pulled back quickly so she wouldn’t get uncomfortable. “Now, put your hands on my shoulders.”

  Hesitantly, she pressed her palms just beneath my shoulder blades, then her fingers into my shoulders. “You’re all sweaty,” she said, and I could tell she was trying to make the situation less awkward.

  “I told you sweating is a good thing.”

  “You didn’t say anything about touching it being a good thing.”

  “I didn’t think I had to. Everyone knows there’s nothing better than two sweaty bodies against each other.”

  A beautiful shade of crimson crept into her cheeks. “Okay, Casanova, back to the move. My hands are on your shoulders.”

  “Now, remember. If you’re being attacked, you wouldn’t be enjoying it as much as you are right now.” I winked, which won me a swat to the chest. A smile curved my lips at her innocent love tap. “Just saying. Okay, now keep your arms extended.” I pushed into her, and her arms resisted my weight. “See. As long as you keep your arms extended, no matter how big the other person is, you can pretty much hold them up.”

  She pressed into me, and I lifted away from her. A satisfied look crossed her face, and she nodded. “Good to know. What else?”

  I took my hand, wrapping it around her wrist, and bent her elbow. “Watch what happens when you don’t extend.” She kept her elbows bent, and I pushed down, breaking the resistance and pressing our chests together. I lifted up slightly, my mouth inches from hers, her lips practically begging me to devour them. “Keep your arms extended, and don’t let a guy get this close,” I said softly.

  Her eyes raked over my face as her breathing picked up. “Got it,” she murmured. “Don’t let a guy get this close.”

  “Never.” I moved my head closer to hers, unable to resist those pretty plump lips. She didn’t heed my warning. I tried to control myself, but my control was out the fucking window. I crushed my lips to hers, and my God was she the sweetest thing I’d ever tasted.

  I wanted to taste every gorgeous curve, every single inch of her. I swiped my tongue across her crease, demanding her to let me in. She parted her lips, and a moan slipped out. It fueled the fire raging inside of me, and I thrust my hands into her ponytail, knotting my fingers into her curls.

  Her hands roamed up my sides, and I pressed my rock-hard cock against her center. I wanted inside of her so desperately. It had been fucking torture trying to keep my hands to myself.

  I cupped her cheek and ran my other hand down her neck, going to the one place I’d been dreaming about for weeks. My fingers curved around the amazing mound of flesh and I squeezed, satisfied with how her tit overfilled my hand.

  I tore my lips away from her, and kissed her neck, sucking and licking as I trailed a path down to her shoulder. Her hands froze on my sides, body turning to solid stone. “Stop!” She struggled beneath me, twisting and bucking.

  My entire body came to a halt and I lifted off of her. “What’s the matter?”

  “I can’t do this.” She shook her head almost violently. “I need to go.”

  I pushed off of her, and tried to reason with myself, but frustration poured out. I slammed my fist into the post, the ropes shook, and she flinched. “Was this your plan? Get me all riled up, and then fucking leave?”

  She sat up and pulled her knees against her chest. Shame and embarrassment radiated off her, and the asshole I was, was happy for it.

  “No,” she whimpered.

  “Then, what is it? Because you’ve been driving me fucking crazy for weeks. I can’t get rid of you. You’re in my head, in my dreams, fucking everywhere. And what was that shit about me not being that guy? Why even fucking say that? Clearly, you think I am.” She stood up and came to me, resting her hand on my arm, but I shook it off. “Don’t touch me right now. Not if you’re going to walk out that fucking door.”

  She let out a sigh, as confusion and God knows what flashed across her face. Her body went to move toward me, but then she quickly turned around, and climbed out of the ring.

  When she was on the ground, she stopped and turned to me. “For the record. I don’t think you’re that guy. It’s me, not you,” she said, and took off before I could say another word.

  What the fuck was that supposed to mean? This is exactly why I didn’t get involved. Chicks were out of their goddamned minds. Still, I found myself heading for the door, but as I reached for the handle, I stopped myself.

  I didn’t run after girls. They came to me.

  Chapter 13

  Nixon

  It had been two days since Brooklyn left me horned up and alone. She hadn’t come to one session or even our personal nightly ones. Like a fucking moron, I went to Mark’s place and sat there the past two nights, hoping she’d show.

  It was my out. I was already in too fucking deep for my liking, but I couldn’t walk away just yet. Why? I had no fucking clue. All I knew was that I was a fucking idiot for not saying screw this and moving on with my life. I had a fight to focus on. That was my life. But I couldn’t get Brooklyn out of my head. No amount of alcohol, and not even a slut who gave the best head, could erase Brooklyn from my mind. She was a goddamned parasite, gnawing away at my insides.

  So, without even thinking, I drove to the diner where she worked. Just like last time, I had no idea what I was going to say, or what was going to happen, but unlike last time, I did
n’t get my hopes up. It would probably end worse than the last time we spoke, but I didn’t care. I needed to see her.

  Her car wasn’t in the lot. I glanced down at the clock. It was just after five-thirty, the middle of her shift. I put Tanya in park and went inside. The place was outdated with ripped up vinyl booths and fifty years of grease buildup on the floor.

  “One?” A woman with blonde frizzy hair, and way too much blue eye shadow, asked in a harsh voice as she picked up a menu. She turned back to me and smiled. Her teeth were stained, probably from years of smoking and red lipstick smeared across her front tooth.

  “Actually, no.” I smiled back, amping up the charm. “I was looking for someone who works here. Brooklyn. Is she coming in today?”

  “Oh no, sweetie. She’s been out the past two days. Said she’s sick. The flu or something. I offered to bring her some of our famous chicken noodle soup, but she told me it wasn’t necessary.”

  She seemed fine the other night. Not even a sniffle. “Thanks anyway,” I said, and walked out.

  Sick my ass. More like she didn’t want me to find her. Well, too damn bad. I still had a shit ton to say, and I was going to fucking say it. I headed back to the gym and nodded at Randy, but he was too busy flirting with a teenage girl to notice me. He needed to watch himself. Because, one of these days, he was going to get his ass thrown in jail for statutory rape, and not because he liked them young, but because he was too fucking stupid to realize they were underage. Right now, however, that was his problem, I had my own to deal with.

  I logged into the computer system, and typed Brooklyn’s name in. A few seconds later, her file popped up with her information and address. I tapped it into the GPS on my phone, and took off to find her.

  She lived in the shit part of town. Rundown houses and too many shady people loitering outside strip malls. No wonder she wanted to learn how to defend herself. She should be carrying a fucking gun and pepper spray just to get the mail.