Reflect Me

by K. B. Webb

  I picked up Lyric from Wynee’s house around 2:30 in the morning, came home, and passed out. She woke up around 6am hungry, so I made my way to the kitchen in my usual sleep clothes, short shorts and a t-shirt. In the shorts I had on, my bruises were visible, but I assumed I would be the only one awake. Brian never woke up before noon, and in my still half-asleep state, I didn’t care that Logan had spent the night and had to be at work at seven.

  I snuck into the kitchen thinking I could warm Lyric a bottle and make myself a pot of coffee without waking him up. Wrong. He was already up making coffee when I walked in. Not just making coffee, making coffee shirtless. In my kitchen. I was momentarily stupefied by his beautiful body. His abs were cut deep and he had a strong V that led into the jeans that hung low on his hips. His arms were bigger than Brian and Justin’s, and his traps made deep dips into his shoulders. He was literally breath taking. And in my case, mind-blowing. He had a tattoo across his back. A shoulder-to-shoulder cross that led down his spine, all black and gray except for the dark red heart in the center. The shading was perfect. I was pretty into tattoos; I had a few myself, but mine were no comparison to Wynee’s. I would have to tell her about Logan’s ink. She had already been grilling me with questions about him every chance she got. She kept telling me that she “saw something” between the two of us. I kept telling her that one too many cheap hair colors had fucked up her brain. His back was all muscle and cut. Dear God, this man was trying to kill me. In my momentary blindness caused by his hotness, I forgot about the shorts, and the bruises.

  “Well hey, little buddy! You sure didn’t let momma sleep long.” He reached for Lyric and I willingly handed her over. He smiled down at her before looking back to me with those brilliant blue eyes. “You want some coffee? I know you didn’t get home till after two, so I’m sure you could use it.”

  “Yeah, coffee sounds great right now. I had planned on making a pot when I came in here to make her bottle, but you beat me to it. Thanks.”

  I walked past him and toward the fridge to grab Lyric a bottle to heat up.

  “What the fuck, Molly!” His voice was filled with rage and a hint of sadness.

  “What?” I was lost. Seriously. What’d I do now?

  “Your leg. What the fuck happened?” He reached down and barely ran his fingertips across the black and blue skin on the top of my thigh. Shit. Shit. Think, Molly, think! All I could think about was the path of tingles and fire that were left on my skin where his fingers had run across it.

  “Oh that, I … um, I … I … I hit my leg on a table last night and took a nasty fall. I’m a little clumsy.” I tried to smile and laugh hoping what I was saying was believable. Please buy it. Please buy it.

  His eyebrows creased together and his beautiful mouth was pulled down in a frown. Totally not buying it.

  “Clumsy, huh? You must have taken a nasty fall for that to happen. I mean, the coloring of the bruises looks to be a few days old, but you said you fell last night, right?” His gaze was pinned on me. The look in his eyes said so many things. That he wasn’t buying my bullshit. That he was hurt I was lying in the first place. Then there was a hint of compassion. Like maybe he was trying to let me know he would listen if I needed to talk. If only Logan Wade knew that I didn’t talk. I was a fucking fortress of secrets, and the only person who knew about them was Wynee. And there was still quite a few she didn’t even know about. No matter how understanding he looked and seemed, I could never share this burden with him. I was no one’s charity case. I had taken care of myself for years, and I wasn’t going to let some beautiful man come into my life and fuck that up for me.

  “Did I say last night? I meant Wednesday night. Yeah, Wednesday. I’m fine though. Don’t worry. It looks worse than it is.” I turned my back on him and placed Lyric’s bottle in the warmer. Conversation over, Logan.

  “Um, okay.” He may have said okay, but I could tell he wasn’t going to let it go. “So how was work last night?” He smiled at me in a way that showed he was trying to find safe territory to talk about. Bless his heart. I think he thought I was angry with him. Truth is the only person I was angry at was myself.

  “It was good. Made some great tips. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday are our busiest nights, and since I’ve been there for so long, I have a steady stream of regulars who keep my pockets well lined.”

  “Well you may start to have a new regular.” He threw me one of his thousand-watt smiles and raised one eyebrow.

  I laughed loudly. So loud that Lyric wiggled a little in Logan’s arms. “Well, if you can handle the crowd at Ricky’s, and the shit you’re going to get for being the new boy around, then you’ll earn your spot as a new regular. We’re a pretty close-knit family, the customers included. Ask Justin about the shit he got when he first started hanging around. From the cooks, to the group of old guys who come in every weekend, they all gave him hell. They kind of think of me and Wynee as their daughters or sisters. They can be pretty protective. Hell, they hate Brian!”

  “Oh, I can handle myself, Molly. I’m pretty sure you can handle yourself too, so I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.”

  “Yeah, you could say that. So, Logan, any girlfriend who you might bring in with you? I haven’t heard you talk about anyone while I’m around.” Please say no, please say no. If there was a God in heaven, Logan Wade would be single.

  “Nope, no girlfriend. I was engaged to a girl in New Orleans, but it didn’t work out. That’s why I moved back up here. Why Molly, you know anyone looking?”

  “Um, I mean, well, no, not really. Wynee is my only friend. But I’m sure you will get hit on plenty if you come in tonight. Watch out for Tiffany; she’s a dumb bitch, but she’s pretty hot. If you’re into the whole blonde hair big tits kind of thing.” Of course that’s what he’s into, Molly. Dumb ass.

  “Actually, brunettes are more my thing. But I like big boobs. I am a guy, come on. But no matter how nice the rack is, it doesn’t mean shit if her head is hollow. I like my girls smart, funny, sarcastic, and motherly. I mean, since I want kids one day, you know?”

  Shit, if I didn’t know better, I would say he was describing me. But I did know better.

  “Yeah, I know what you mean. You can’t expect to spend your life with a girl if she won’t be a good mom. So, since there isn’t a special girl in your life, you going to bring any of the guys from work tonight, or will it just be you?”

  “Well, I know Justin says he hangs out up there. What time do Justin and Brian usually get there?”

  I spit my coffee out a little. The idea of Brian coming to Ricky’s was hilarious. He hated the place. And since I worked weekends, he took full advantage of that to hang out with his druggie friends and their group of easy-rider hoes.

  I coughed, embarrassed that there was now spit-up coffee on my kitchen floor, and tried to recover so I could speak. “Sorry. I guess it went down the wrong pipe. Um, Justin usually gets there around eleven, that’s when the dinner crowd starts to file out and the bar crowd starts to come in. But Brian rarely comes by. Ricky’s just isn’t his scene.”

  “Oh, okay. Well, I’ll get there about eleven so I can hang out with Justin. Too bad Brian won’t be there.” The smile on his face indicated that he did not think it was too bad that Brian wouldn’t be there. He honestly seemed relieved about it.

  “Well, I have to feed Lyric and hopefully get a few more hours of sleep. If you come by tonight, I’ll see you then.” I took a sleeping, content Lyric from his arms. She would be one pissed-off baby when I woke her up to feed her. I smiled up at him in thanks.

  “Oh, you’ll definitely be seeing me later, Molly.” There was that smile again. Damn, damn, damn!

  I walked away from him, half hoping he was looking at my ass and half mortified by the thought.

  After working a few hours, I stepped outside to take a well-deserved cigarette break before the bar crew came in and before my first song of the night with Texas Line, our regular band. They played a mix of
classic rock and 90’s hits with the occasional hit song of today. They were made up of four guys from Texas who moved to Monroe to go to college. Their talent was way beyond their years since all of them were under twenty-five. They never played to get famous, just have fun. I think that’s why I liked singing with them. It was never a serious thing - just for fun. And Lord knows I needed some fun in my life.

  “Hey, Molls. There’s a hottie sitting with Justin in your section asking for you. I may have to put my flirting shoes on tonight, because damn, that man is too good looking for words.” Tiffany busted through the back doors while applying more lip gloss. Fucking, Tiffany. I really didn’t like her. Tall, blonde, skinny, with big DD fake tits to match, every man that walked into those doors wanted her. And yeah, if I have to admit, I was a little jealous.

  “Oh, that’s Logan, Brian and Justin’s friend. He said he might come by tonight.” I hoped she couldn’t see the blush that had suddenly risen to my cheeks. He came. He actually came, and he was asking for me.

  I shouldn’t have been so surprised. He told me repeatedly he was coming, but when your boyfriend is a piece of shit who always breaks promises, and your biological parents both have PhDs in being flakey as fuck, you start to expect the worse instead of the best.

  “Is he single?” She looked at me with hope in her big blue eyes. What the hell was I supposed to say to that! I knew from my conversation with him this morning that he was indeed single, but the thought of him with another girl made me sick. I wasn’t sure why, but it just didn’t sit well with me. Well, I lied, I was pretty sure why. I wanted Logan, and though I couldn’t have him, I didn’t want him to be with anyone else. Selfish I know, but I couldn’t help how I felt.

  “Um, no, I don’t think he is. Sorry.”

  I just lied to Tiffany. Fuck me, I was way in over my head, but I’d be damned if I allowed her to put her slutty paws on Logan.

  “Well, shit! Isn’t that how it always is? The good-looking ones are always taken, just like Justin and Brian. Speaking of, how is Brian?” She rolled her eyes a little and faked a smile. She hated that I was with Brian.

  Tiffany had slept with Brian a few times before I started dating him. I think she was still pissed he quit sleeping with her when he started seeing me. She could never understand why a girl like me, fat and ugly in her book, could get a guy like Brian. I had heard her tell some of the other guys we worked with that Brian still wanted her. That he just felt bad for me. But the truth was that Brian got bored with her. She gave it up the day she met him. Girls like Tiffany were easy, no conquest for guys. And once they fucked her, they quickly realized she didn’t have shit to offer unless her legs were spread.

  After having a bullshit conversation with Tiffany about what Brian had been up to, and her faking interest in Lyric, I went back in to check on my tables, and check out Logan.

  I could look, it wasn’t like anything was going to actually happen, and hey, a girl deserved a good piece of eye candy every once in a while.

  Right before I stepped through the double doors in the kitchen that led out into the dining room, I spotted him sitting at a high top in my section with Justin. Wynee was perched on Justin’s lap. I saw how the table full of girls next to them were eye-fucking Logan, and I sure as shit didn’t like it at all. He may not have been mine, but damn ladies, let’s at least be discrete about the eye fucking!

  He was laughing at whatever Justin was saying and smiling ear to ear. He looked downright edible in his blue and black plaid shirt with pearl snap buttons. He had on another pair of tight, light-colored jeans that fit him like a second skin and the same pair of work boots. But instead of a baseball cap like he usually wore, he had on a cowboy hat. I totally got the old adage “Save a horse, ride a cowboy” now. Once again, this man was unintentionally clouding every train of thought I had.

  For just a second, I let myself think about what it would be like if Logan was really mine. How I would be able to walk out these doors and stroll over to him, knowing the smile on his face was only for me. Lean down and kiss those full, sweet lips while I ran a hand over the small stubble on his face. Sit on his lap just like Wynee was doing on Justin’s. Take his hat off and run my hands through the dirty-blond hair that was under it. Be able to look at Tiffany and that table of girls next to him with a cocky smile on my face that said, “Yes, bitches, he is mine. And if you even try to touch him, I will break all your fingers.”

  The thought brought a smile to my face. Even though that would never happen, it was nice to dream. Nice to think how different my life would be if Logan Wade were an everyday part of it. How happy he could likely make me. But, this was real life. I didn’t get to ride off on a white horse with the cowboy. I have to go home to the drunken, drug addict who never showed any affection toward me at all. The same guy who never said he loved me, or even slept in the same room as me. The same guy who hadn’t even had sex with me in over six months. Brian James. That’s who I got to go home to. And as much as it sucked, that was my life.

  With the smile now clear from my face after the thoughts of Brian, I walked out hoping I could keep it together and keep my tactic up of keeping Logan at arm’s length. And I hoped I could get through my performances without the nerves I had building up exploding. Logan would hear me sing. And somewhere deep down inside me, I knew that would change everything.

  Ricky’s wasn’t exactly what I expected it to be. The inside walls were painted a dark green, with different beer signs and movie posters on the walls, and the tables were all an old, dark wood. Booths lined the outside of the right side of the restaurant/bar with tables mixed around. On the left side was a long bar that ran almost completely down one wall with high tables scattered around. There was a small stage in the left corner and an open area that I assumed was used as a dance floor. Four guys were already on stage setting up instruments and doing a sound check. I noticed that on one of the drums the name Texas Line was written. All four of the guys were young, twenty-four or twenty-five maybe. Justin waved me down the moment I walked in and motioned me over to a tall table with four tall chairs.

  “Hey, man! Glad you could make it. I think you’re really going to enjoy the show tonight.” He smiled at me and instantly began scanning the room while taking a long pull from his beer. I completely agreed with him, I did think I was going to enjoy the show. I had been dying all week to hear Molly sing. Hell, I even broke down and asked Brian how she sounded. He of course had kind of blown it off and told me she was all right, but he didn’t understand why everyone freaked out about it. Downplaying his girlfriend’s good qualities, total Brian James behavior.

  After Molly and I talked that morning in the kitchen about the bruises on her legs, I started to think back and really analyze their interactions when they were around each other. They barley even acknowledged that the other was in the room, and when Brian spoke to her or touched her, Molly visibly stiffened up. I had also noticed that they didn’t sleep in the same room. Molly’s grandfather had left her his house when he had died three years before. It had three bedrooms. One was a guest room, one was the room where Brian slept, and the third had a queen size bed and a crib, where Molly and Lyric slept. Brian never tried to hold Lyric or really even interact with her. He just acted like she wasn’t even there, which I couldn’t understand. The moment I saw that little blue-eyed baby girl, I was wrapped around her finger. I wanted to hold her and love on her as much as possible. She was my little buddy.

  I was really starting to question Molly’s story about where her bruises came from. I knew enough to know bruises like that didn’t come from falls; they came from fists. My old man was a mean drunk who took out his anger on Lucas and me before he ran out on us, so I knew she was lying to me, but why? The only reasonable thing I could think of was she knew enough about me to know I would have kicked someone’s ass if they touched her. And the only person she could be scared of me beating the shit out of was Brian.

  Brian James may have been a douchebag, but I
never thought of him as the type to hit a woman. I had no solid proof, just a gut feeling that something between the two of them was not right. But, I knew Molly was not very forthcoming with information, and Brian would never admit to hurting her. So, I was stuck. I would just have to work even harder to break down her walls so she could trust me. I wanted her to be able to tell me if someone, especially Brian, was hurting her.

  In the few times I had been around Molly, I had quickly realized that she wasn’t the type of girl to trust easily. Her only friends were Wynee and Justin, and she even kept them at an arm’s length sometimes. Her and Wynee’s friendship was unlike anything I had ever seen before. The connection those two had was undeniable. I noticed both of them had tattoos on the inside of their right wrists of a horse, all black and gray, and colored in completely. I knew Wynee loved tattoos; the girl was covered in them. She seemed like the type to find any pretty picture and permanently put it on her skin, but Molly did not seem that impulsive. She was the type of girl to have meaning behind every decision she made, tattoos included. When she was getting ready for work the night before while walking around the house in a tank top, I noticed angel wings between her shoulder blades with the name John in Old English between them. I knew from stories that she had told that John was her grandfather’s name. I also saw a large music note on her left foot, which I assumed, was for Lyric.

  “Well, hey there, boys!” Wynee bounced over to our table and landed on Justin’s lap. Those two were definitely the definition of opposites attract.

  “Hey, Wynee, where’s Molly?” She opened her mouth to answer but was interrupted.

  “Well, hey, Wynee, you want to introduce me to your new friend?” A busty blonde whose tank top was about two sizes too small leaned against the side of my chair. She smelled as if she had sprayed herself with every sample of perfume she could get her hands on at Victoria’s Secret. The mixture should have been called ‘Cheap Whore’ and been sold at stores where the shirts had less fabric than most scarves. Her hair looked like it had way too much hair spray in it, crispy almost. And her baby-like voice instantly got on my nerves. I immediately realized that she must have been Tiffany, the girl Wynee and Molly had talked about. Brian had also talked about her too. He had apparently slept with her a few times and said the sex was mind blowing, but she was dumb as shit.