The Dirty Dozen: MC Edition

by Kay Maree

  “Ruby, did you not sleep last night?” I dropped my head at my dad’s question.

  “How did you know?”

  “You don’t nap, Ruby, you never have. Not even when you were a baby. The only other time I have seen you do it was when Oscar was in hospital after his accident. Only instead of falling asleep on Freddie, it was my shoulder you were drooling on.” I gasp.

  “I don’t drool!” I turned to look at Freddie who was trying not to laugh. “I don’t do I?” He held up his hands. With a huff, I crossed my arms over my chest and laid back against him. I could feel him shaking with silent laughter. My dad on the other hand, was not as quiet. “Laugh it up, chuckles. I’ll get you back for that.” Closing my eyes, I felt myself relax.

  “Freddie, why don’t you take Ruby, get some food and take her home to hang out and watch movies. There is nothing going on here so there is no point hanging around. She needs an early night.”

  “That sounds like a good idea. Her favorite Italian place is just around the corner.” I opened my eyes.

  “She can hear you, you know.” I opened my eyes and sat up. It wasn’t actually a bad idea. I knew it was only a matter of time before I fell asleep again. At least if I did it back at Mom and Dad’s, Freddie would carry me into bed like he used to do. Plus I did love the Italian place they were talking about. They made the best pasta and was owned by this little Italian couple. Turning to look at Freddie. “We can have the date we didn’t get to have at home.”

  “If that’s what you want to do, we can.” I nodded and stood up.

  “Freddie, Emma can you please give us a minute?” I looked over at my dad and raised a brow at him. What was he about to say that he couldn’t say in front of Mom? Freddie squeezed my hand.

  “I’ll go grab the car and meet you downstairs.” He kissed my cheek on the way past and I watched Mom follow him and close the door behind her. Turning to face my dad, I waited for him to speak.

  “I’m sorry if you thought we were out of line for talking to Freddie. I know you are grown now and can handle your own business, but that doesn’t mean I won’t look out for you. Momma and I love you and while we may never think a guy is good enough for our only daughter, we promise to give Freddie a chance. I can see the way you he looks at you. He loves you and I believe he wants to fix the mess he made last time.”

  “I believe him too. You know me, Dad. I don’t give second chances easily and it did take him a while to get me to see that, but I do believe that he never meant to hurt me and that he wants to make it right. He loves me and we have always had that closeness between us. When he wasn’t around, I felt like something was missing. Slowly, it’s been coming back. I know we still have a lot of work to do but it’s worth it. He’s worth it.”

  “Princess, I love you and I mean this in the nicest possible way, filled with love... You need to go home. I know you came because of your bonehead brother and you have heard the doctors, but now it’s time to go back and get on with your life. You don’t need to be sitting around a hospital waiting for me to go home. I will have your mom call with updates and promise that only SHE calls you if something happens.”

  “I don’t want to leave you while you are in here.”

  “I know you don’t, but there is nothing happening here. I have told your brothers the same thing. The four of you have lives and you need to live them. I’m gonna be okay, Ruby. You know that right?” I nodded slowly. “Then go home. Sort out you and Freddie. Come home and visit if you need to. We aren’t going anywhere.” I let out a breath and moved to hug him tightly.

  “Fine, I will give in this time but please, promise me you will take care of yourself or I will be back here to help Momma make your life hell.” He chuckled and hugged me back.

  “I promise. I love you.”

  “I love you too, Daddy.” He kissed the top of my head and held me for a little bit longer before letting me go.

  “Go get some sleep.”

  “I’ll come say goodbye before we leave.” I kissed his cheek before letting go. Leaving the room, I was met by Mama who was waiting outside. I gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek goodbye. She promised to call me if anything changed but to go home and relax. I went downstairs and just as I stepped out, Freddie was there with the rental car and was out and opening the door for me.

  “Everything okay, beautiful?” I nodded as I got in the car and he closed the door after me. He rounded the front of the car and got in. Pulling out of the parking lot, he drove toward the restaurant that I loved.

  “Dad wants me to go home. Says there is no point us hanging around waiting for him to come out of hospital then sit around while he and Mama sort out his new diet and stuff. He is apparently fine and has told the boys they need to go about their daily routines as well.”

  “That’s fair enough. What is holding you back?”

  “The boys are nearby. If something happens then they are right here and can get to him. Me, I am all the way over in Vegas and have to get on a plane to get to him. I’m worried that he is downplaying this and it’s more serious that he is letting on. I am worried that the next time this happens then I won’t get to see him alive.”

  “Baby, you can’t think like that. You heard the doctor. It was a mild heart attack which they will be watching closely now. They didn’t know he had heart problems before. They do now.”

  “I guess...”

  “What did you tell him?”

  “That I would go home.” I shrugged and looked out the window.

  “Okay, so why don’t we compromise. We’ll stay here ‘til he gets out of hospital but won’t wait around there. We can go do other things, make a weekend out of our trip. That way we are close if something happens. When he gets home then we can head home. If you are still feeling uneasy about it... we can talk to Raven about relocating. Rent a place out here for a couple of months and you can set up a shop here so you aren’t sitting idly by.”

  “What about you? I notice you said we in all of that.”

  “I can find something to do. Help you out in the shop. I have only just come back to Fernando so I don’t really have anything going on at the moment.”

  “You would do that for me?”

  “Baby, I would move mountains if you asked me to. I would take the sun from the sky if you said it was too bright. My home is wherever you are. If that’s here or Fernando then either is fine with me. We just have to clear it with the boss first.” I reached over and took his hand, giving it a soft squeeze.

  “I’ll think about it.”

  “No rush, beautiful.” He lifted my hand and pressed it to his lips. I pulled his hand closer to me and rest my cheek against it, closing my eyes. My heart full of love for this man who was willing to give up everything just to make me happy. I knew he loved me before but this right here just solidified it. Not long later, he was pulling into the restaurant parking lot and turned the car off. I wasn’t sure what the future held but I knew it would be by his side.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Freddie

  Lying in bed, sleep was impossible with Ruby tossing and turning again. She would sigh before shifting to lay on her back. When she didn’t find comfort there, she would go back to her side. I let it go hoping she would find the comfy spot soon enough but at two in the morning, I finally caved.

  “Babe, what is wrong?” She huffed again.

  “Nothing.”

  “Mmhm and a stupider man might believe you.” I should have been prepared for this. Ruby was a night owl. If she was asleep before midnight, she would be wide awake a few hours later. I guess I thought she was so tired from the night before, she might sleep through but it wasn’t the case. When she didn’t answer me, I took my arm from around her and rolled to turn on the bedside lamp. Pushing myself up, I looked down at her as I leant back against the bed head. “Want to try that again and look me in eye or did you forget I know you?” She just turned away from me and pulled the covers over h
er head. Rubbing my hands over my face, I shook my head. Stubborn ass. Turning the light off again, I got out of bed and walked out of the room. Giving her a minute or five, I went to get a drink of water from the kitchen. Hearing a noise behind me, I turned to see her standing there. I kept my eyes on her while I drank my glass of water, waiting for her to talk. When she still didn’t say anything, I let out a sigh.

  “Ruby, I’m not doing this. Tell me what’s on your mind or don’t but I’m not fighting with you and right now, you are baiting one.”

  “If I tell you what is wrong then you will try and fix it.” My brows creased in a frown of confusion.

  “What?”

  “You always try to fix things and make them better.”

  “I’m sorry, did you hit your head or something? You are not making any sense right now.” Her hands went to rest on her hips and I braced myself for the one thing I didn’t want. Something was bugging her so she was going to pick a fight with me to focus on something else.

  “You can’t fix me!”

  “Oh honey, a team of the best psychiatrists couldn’t fix you.” I cursed myself as soon as the words were out of my mouth. She turned and walked away. Putting my glass in the sink, I followed after her. Finding her back in bed, I moved to crouch down beside it. “Ruby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. In my defense, I told you I didn’t want to fight with you.”

  “Freddie, for the record, an apology should not contain blame.”

  “No matter what I say, it’s gonna piss you off.” She rolled over and turned her back to me. I stood back up and reached over her. Grabbing some pillows from the side I had just been sleeping on, I let her deal with whatever was going on with her right now. I would sleep on the couch and see if she felt like talking in the morning. At least I would have some sleep and be able to try and follow her thoughts and not just blurt out whatever comes into my head like just now. I don’t know what time it was but I felt her trying to lay down next to me. Rolling onto my back, I pulled her on top of me so she could sleep with her head on my chest and not have to worry about falling on the floor. It wasn’t a very big couch.

  “I’m sorry.” I ran my hand along her back.

  “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. You don’t deserve my demons at some stupid hour in the morning.”

  “Baby, I will take on your demons at whatever time of the day you need me to. Just talk to me. If you just need to get it off your chest then I will listen. If you need me to help with something then I will do that too. The more you overthink shit though, the crazier you get.” She slapped her hand against my chest. We laid there in silence for a little bit longer. I wanted to know what was bugging her but not if it was going to start a fight.

  “I want to come back home for a little while. Leaving isn’t sitting right with me and it scares me. I know you said that you would come with me, but I don’t want you giving up everything only to end up regretting it later. I don’t know that I could go six months or however long I decided to stay without you. Flying back and forth would be too much and one of us would get tired of it quickly. I don’t know what to do!” Moving my hand, I let it rest on the back of her neck and squeezed it softly, massaging to try and get her to relax.

  “What if I want to give up everything?”

  “What?”

  “How do you know that I am going to regret it later? You say that like you aren’t it for me, like I haven’t just spent months without you waiting for you to forgive the past. I have known what I want for a long time now, Ruby and it’s you. Here, there or on the damn moon. I don’t care where we are as long as it’s together. We aren’t doing the back and forth unless you want a stalker on your hands. I want to wake up next to you and go to bed the same way. I know before all this happened, you wanted to take things slow but maybe this is all happening for a reason.”

  “Are you sure you are ready for this?”

  “I have never been more sure of anything in my life. This isn’t me trying to fix things just to make you happy. While yes, I do want you happy, this is about us. It’s all or nothing babe so you need to decide if that is something you want or not.”

  “I want it, I do.”

  “Why do I feel there is a but there.”

  “It just feels like it’s happening too fast.”

  “Baby, that’s life. It can be over in the blink of an eye. Why not enjoy the ride while we are on it.” I heard her let out a small sigh. “Why don’t you sleep on it. When we get back home, we can sit down with Raven and talk about you coming back here for a bit longer.” Her head lifted off my chest.

  “What about you?”

  “That ball is in your court baby...”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Diesel

  I finally fell asleep around five am as the sun came up, but it wasn’t for long. Freddie’s words from earlier were going around in my head. I was starting to think that he had the patience of a saint because fuck I had to be messing with his head right now. I knew I wasn’t being fair to him. When I agreed to give him and us a chance, I knew we would eventually be having the talk about moving in together. We almost did right before all the shit went down and he went to rehab. I loved this man. I knew that to be true and nothing was going to change that. Why was I so hell bent on taking things slow then? Ultimately, the decision was mine. He had left the ball in my court. I wanted to talk to my dad about things but I knew if I did, he would try and talk me out of coming, back to Tennessee. He had made his position on that very clear but I was his daughter after all and now was not the time I would be giving in. I couldn’t talk to Mom about it because again, she would encourage me to say in Nevada. Maybe not as forcefully as Dad would but she would make her point clear. My brothers would be no help. They would rat me out to Mom and Dad. I knew who I had to talk to. He is the only one who could make everything clearer. He had the knack of knowing just what to say when I needed advice.

  Leaving Freddie asleep, I made myself a coffee and grabbed my phone. Heading outside to sit on Mom and Dad’s back porch, I found Raven’s number in my phone. He was an early riser so I didn’t have to worry about waking him up. Tapping my thumb against the screen, I waited for him to pick up.

  “Morning, Ruby, you’re up early.”

  “Up implies I have been to bed.”

  “Uh oh, is everything okay?”

  “Yes and no.”

  “Is it your Dad? I know Freddie said something had happened but you weren’t sure what.”

  “No, he seems to be fine. The doctor is keeping him in hospital to monitor his heart. He had a minor heart attack and now has to go on a strict diet, no alcohol and take it easier.”

  “Which I am sure he is loving the sound of.”

  “Oh yeah, he can’t wait. He also told me I need to go home and stop sitting around here.”

  “Okay... So where does the no come into all this?”

  “I think I need to be here, despite what he says. For my own sanity if nothing else. I plan to be here a couple of months and will rent a house or something here and a shop so I can still work. If you need me back for the club, I will be on the first flight out of here but as I am not at the table, I can just be called for anything. My presence doesn’t need to be there in person.”

  “I am hearing a lot of I’s in all of this. What about Freddie?”

  “You are a smart one, aren’t you?”

  “Yep! Now spill.”

  “He told me that he would move with me to Tennessee, but I don’t want him to do it for the wrong reason and regret it later.”

  “Have you told him this?”

  “Yes, we spoke about it.”

  “You are still worried though?”

  “I don’t know if he was telling me the truth or just what I want to hear. I know he loves me and he has proved that but this is a big step. He is right though, life is short and it could be over in the blink of an eye and I’d be left with nothing.”
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  “Ruby, there is no right or wrong answer to this. Look at Hailee and I. People could have said we moved too fast or what we had wasn’t right because I saved her and was the first thing she knew apart from that hell but they look at us and see that we fit. They don’t have to question it. We don’t question it because we feel it. You need to simplify what is in your head and what your feel. Do you love him?”

  “More than I have ever loved anyone.”

  “Then there is your answer.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You love him and he loves you. If you are together then the past doesn’t mean anything and you aren’t going to hold it against him. He is sober so he is thinking clearly and despite your personal circumstances, you know deep down this is right. You are just scared of losing him again and I get that. I do. You can’t let fear rule your life though. Just take the leap, Ruby, and have faith that he will be there to catch you. Hell, he flew across America just to make sure he was there for you. I don’t think there he is much he wouldn’t do.” I let those words sink in. It was everything that Freddie had been saying but I hadn’t listened. I had spun it into a negative and was now driving myself crazy.