Home is Where the Heart Is (Home #1)

by Cheynee Filkov

  “So, just friends then?” he croaked.

  Isabelle looked crestfallen which made no fucking sense. Isn’t that exactly what she wanted?

  “I…I don’t know if we can be just friends, Jace.”

  A thought struck him then and he smirked to himself at his own brilliance.

  “What about no labels?” he suggested.

  Her eyes widened with interest. “What does that mean?”

  He shrugged. “Whatever we want it to mean. No labels, no expectations, no dramas. We hang out, we confide in each other, whatever we want to do.”

  “Won’t everyone think it’s weird?” she implored.

  “Fuck everyone else, this is between us.”

  Isabelle gave him a genuine smile then. “Screw everyone one else, I like that.”

  Jace pulled her closer to him again and reveled in the feel of her warmth.

  “I guess we better head back,” Isabelle said grudgingly. “I think there’s been enough excitement for one day.”

  Jace looked away, feeling shame. “I’m sorry, babe.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “It wasn’t anything you did. I entered a poetry contest a couple weeks ago and so did Kimberley. Turns out we both won.”

  “Babe, that’s awesome!”

  Isabelle rolled her eyes. “I haven’t finished. Since they were concerned about our subject matter and we refused to see the counsellor, our reward for laying ourselves on the line is “team building” every Friday after school for an hour with each other.”

  Jace grinned at her. “You didn’t think the counsellor would be less painful?”

  Isabelle sighed dramatically. “Hindsight, right? Come on, let’s head home, Mum made schnitzel and I saved you a plate.”

  Jace’s stomach grumbled in response and he hurried to obey. Okay, so she couldn’t commit to him and their first kiss had ended in a bloody nose, but she seemed just as excited about the concept of friends as he was, so hope wasn’t completely lost.

  He would be everything she needed. He would be patient and then eventually she would have to realise - he was hers.

  CHAPTER 11

  ISABELLE

  “Can’t you write me a note or something?” Isabelle begged.

  Her Mum’s gaze sharpened on her. “And why would I do that?”

  “Because I’m being punished for nothing!” Isabelle said heatedly.

  Her Mum pulled a piece of paper from her pocket.

  “You’re not being punished. They’re trying to help you and you’re being stubborn. Why haven’t you come to me or your father about this?”

  She pushed the piece of paper towards Isabelle.

  Isabelle glanced down and froze. It was her poem from the stupid poetry contest she shouldn’t have even entered.

  “It’s a poem, Mum,” she said flatly. “Not a diary entry.”

  “The theme was raw and real, something personal to you and you wrote this,” she countered.

  “So? Harry Potter is dark and raw but that doesn’t mean we have to cower from Voldemort.”

  “You’re getting awfully defensive,” her Mum responded calmly.

  “I’m not being defensive - I’m just defending myself from false accusations.”

  “I don’t believe anyone has accused you of anything.”

  Damnit! The woman was maddening. She should have been a lawyer.

  “Are you going to write me a note or not?” Isabelle asked impatiently.

  Her Mum’s eyes narrowed but the rest of her face remained impassive. “Are you going to go to the counsellor?”

  “I don’t need help! It’s a complete waste of time!”

  “Then no. Besides, even if you don’t think you need help, the other girl might.” There was definitely something final to her Mum’s words.

  “Trust me Mum, she needs the kind of help that I’m not qualified to give.”

  “Isabelle Mason!”

  “What? Kimberley is a bitch!”

  “Language, young lady! Go wait in the car for me, I’ll finish my tea and then take you to school.”

  “Don’t bother,” Isabelle snapped. “Jace will take me.”

  Grabbing her bag from the floor she strode out of the house, ignoring her Mum’s angry protests.

  She was about to knock on Jace’s front door when it abruptly opened and she tumbled forward into warm arms.

  “I thought we agreed - no falling for each other?” Jace teased, stroking her hair briefly before setting her back on her feet.

  As soon as he noticed her face, the teasing smirk was gone, replaced with concern.

  “Whoa, what’s wrong?”

  Isabelle fought against frustrated tears.

  “I got into it with Mum over the Kimberley thing.”

  Jace pulled her into his warm embrace, tracing his fingers up her spine. Isabelle only stiffened for a moment before reminding herself that these were arms that she did want around her and she was being ridiculous.

  He continued to hold her through her mini panic attack and said nothing, just let her collect her thoughts and calm herself down. It was exactly what she needed, and him knowing what to do simultaneously confused, scared, and delighted her.

  With her breathing relatively back to normal, she pulled away hastily and offered a tight smile.

  “Sorry, could I ride with you this morning?”

  He covered his disappointment quickly with a lazy smile.

  “And what’s in it for me?”

  What did she possibly have to offer him? Besides baggage and broken shards of her heart.

  “Um…brownies and a smile?” she squeaked.

  “Sold,” Jace said but then leaned in close, as if he was about to tell her a secret. “But I would have done it just for the smile.”

  He walked ahead, leaving her gaping after him, unsure of how to respond.

  “Hey babe!”

  Isabelle spun just in time for Maia to crash into her.

  “You riding with us?”

  “Hey, yeah, um… if that’s OK?”

  Maia rolled her eyes and dragged Isabelle along.

  “Like Jace would ever say no to you.”

  Isabelle ignored the jab and climbed into Jace’s Ute, sitting in the middle between the two siblings.

  “So, I heard you’re stuck with Kimberley?” Maia prodded.

  Isabelle sighed. “Yeah, something about overcoming adversity and finding a kindred spirit to heal with.”

  Maia barked out a laugh. “I give them three weeks max before they realise the two of you have nothing in common.”

  “Three weeks?” Isabelle moaned. “There’ll be a body bag by then!”

  Jace chuckled and nudged her with his shoulder. “Bit dramatic?”

  Isabelle nudged him back. “You’ve met the girl; I’m probably being generous giving it three weeks.”

  “No one’s going to hurt you Angel, I’ll make sure of it.”

  His voice was a low, rasping promise, causing warmth to spread through her chest and a ridiculous smile to spread across her face.

  “Not sure you can watch me twenty-four/seven, but thanks for being a knight in shining armor.”

  “Oh! Isabelle, have you thought about formal yet?” Maia asked with an excited gleam in her eyes.

  Isabelle’s smile immediately faded.

  She’d been trying not to think about it since Maia mentioned it a couple of weeks ago. All the girls had dresses, dates and their beauty appointments all sorted. All Isabelle had was her mother’s gorgeous wedding shoes that she had been planning to build her look around. She had no date, no dress, and after the blow up with her Mum, most likely no money for any of it.

  “I’m not too sure I’ll go yet,” Isabelle mumbled.

  Maia looked at Isabelle like she’d grown horns. “Is that a joke?”

  Isabelle flinched away. “Maia, you’ve all already got it all planned and organised. I don’t have much time to catch up and I don’t want to be the awkward tag along.”

&
nbsp; “That’s such bullshit,” Maia told her bluntly. “I told you, we’ve already booked you to join us for hair and makeup, and once you give me a few hours of your precious time we’ll go shopping for your dress.”

  Isabelle opened her mouth to protest but was coming up blank with a convincing argument. She really was off her game today, first her mum and now Maia.

  “We should suffer together,” Jace offered quietly.

  Both Isabelle and Maia turned to him in unison.

  “Through formal?” Isabelle asked, baffled.

  Jace shrugged. “Why not? Misery loves company right? And with me in a suit, there is no better company.”

  Isabelle stared at him, not quite comprehending.

  Jace wanted to take her to formal? When he was hot enough to have any beautiful, emotionally available girl? What the hell was he thinking? Was he high?

  “Well, that settles it then!” Maia exclaimed loudly, breaking the tension. “When do you want to go dress shopping?”

  Jace glared at his sister. “Stop pushing Maia. Isabelle can speak for herself and if she wants to wear a garbage bag with no hair and makeup then that’s what she’s going to do without any judgement or complaint, got it?”

  It was exactly the right thing to say. Again.

  “So, what do you say Angel?” Jace asks quietly, his eyes on the road. “Will you take me to formal?”

  Isabelle smiled slightly, she liked that he worded it that way. That he gave all the control to her.

  “OK,” the whispered word was out of her mouth before she could analyse the situation to death.

  Jace rewarded her with a breathtaking smile, looking just like a kid at Christmas.

  The car ride the rest of the way to school was in a content, comfortable silence.

  *

  Today sucked.

  There was really no other way to describe it. It sucked and it was only getting worse. Isabelle had been forced to dodge the guidance counsellor three times, endure her English teacher praising her for her poetry in front of the whole class, and then endure Maia’s probing questions. Now she was late to her first ‘team building’ session with Kimberley and as she crossed the staff car park to the library, she had the distinct feeling someone was watching her.

  “You’re late, Barbie.”

  Isabelle shrugged off her paranoia and scowled at Kimberley.

  “You haven’t gone inside either,” she pointed out.

  Kimberley gestured to the cigarette in her hand and then blew the smoke out… right into Isabelle’s face.

  Coughing through the second hand smoke, Isabelle gathered herself enough and then lunged towards Kimberley who was sneering in delight and anticipation.

  It was only the delayed knowledge that Kimberley was goading her on purpose which stopped Isabelle from smashing her fist into Kimberley’s smug face.

  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Isabelle hissed.

  Kimberley said nothing, just blew out another puff of smoke onto Isabelle again, tossed her cigarette by Isabelle’s feet and then headed inside, still smirking.

  When Isabelle’s rage simmered, the feeling of being watched prickled the hairs on the back of her neck and she shivered involuntarily. Glancing around frantically to try and find the source of her uneasiness, Isabelle found herself completely alone, only multiplying her unease a million fold.

  She knew she was being stupid. She knew that Jason couldn’t be here and she had no reason to be afraid, but … she still rushed after Kimberley with her heart beating wildly.

  “Girls, you’re both late,” the guidance counsellor, Ms. Taylor said as Isabelle followed behind Kimberley, sitting at a table hidden in the back of the library.

  Isabelle noted curiously that neither of them offered any excuses or apologies.

  Ms. Taylor noticed too but unlike Isabelle, she was frustrated.

  “I know neither of you want to be here, or want to deal with any of the pain you’re burying inside. Unfortunately you don’t have much of a choice, so I suggest you try and make the most of the situation. We’re going to start out slow and today you will be sharing your poetry from the competition with each other and then you will both write down how reading it made you feel.”

  Isabelle wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Why the hell had she let Kimberley goad her into the competition in the first place? Now she not only had to spend time with her but she had to share a piece of herself with Kimberley too? Hell no.

  “I don’t feel comfortable with that,” Isabelle said firmly.

  She expected Kimberley to make a smart arse remark but was surprised when instead Kimberley nodded her head.

  “I’m with Barbie.”

  Ms. Taylor noticeably pushed back her annoyance and then plastered a smile on her face.

  “Would you prefer I organise a one on one with each of you instead?”

  It was the first time Kimberley’s smirk had faded completely, now replaced with an expression of fear mixed with horror. Isabelle was so stunned by Kimberley’s haunted expression she forgot to be horrified for herself.

  Ms. Taylor nodded to them both.

  “That’s what I thought, although I do really want you both to consider seeing me at some point. I’m really here to help and I want you to know that you’re not alone.”

  Kimberley recovered and rolled her eyes. “What’s the point in making the appointment if you’re going to be here with us every day anyway?”

  Ms. Taylor handed each of them two pieces of paper and a pen and smiled at them again.

  “I’m not going to be here the entire time; I’m just going to get you started for the first couple of sessions and then I’ll leave some assignments for you both to complete together.”

  “Yippee,” Isabelle muttered under her breath.

  Ms. Taylor shot her a look, but Kimberley’s mouth actually twitched and her eyes held a hint of amusement.

  “Well, I’ll leave you both to it. You can hand in your observations to each other at the end of the hour and then take an early mark and head home. Is there anything else I can get you?”

  “Tequila shots would make this more bearable if you wouldn’t mind,” Kimberley drawled, forcing a stifled laugh out of Isabelle that she couldn’t quite hold back.

  Ms. Taylor sighed at them both and, with an exasperated shake of her head, left them alone together.

  An awkward silence filled the air as neither of them made any move to look at either the poems in front of them or at each other.

  She dared a glance at Kimberley and found her texting furiously on her phone, her face so soft and gentle Isabelle almost didn’t recognise her. Who was this red haired siren with more personalities than a psych ward? Isabelle couldn’t figure her out, wasn’t sure she even wanted to.

  “You going to ask me out, Barbie? Or stare longingly at me all day?” Kimberley asked without looking up.

  And just as quickly as Kimberley had let her wall down it was back up again.

  Sighing deeply Isabelle pulled her own phone out and saw a text from Jace.

  JACE: Hey Babe,

  Need help moving a body yet?

  Isabelle grinned to herself, instantly at ease and wrote back.

  ISABELLE: Not yet, but I’ll keep you posted. Tell me something cute?

  It was completely unlike her to be so bold but she was feeling a little reckless.

  JACE: You were in my dream last night x

  Isabelle’s breath hitched as she read the words once, twice, three times. She had asked for it but now she had no idea what to say back.

  JACE: That came out creepier then I meant it, sorry Angel.

  Isabelle smiled and wrote back before he stressed himself out further.

  ISABELLE: No, it’s OK. You can tell me about it later, don’t you owe me Mexican food?

  JACE: I do, but I should warn you – once you taste my food, there is no going back. Your life WILL change.

  Isabelle giggled, earning herself a glare from Kimberley.r />
  “This isn’t a field trip Barbie, get your head in the game.”

  Isabelle rolled her eyes.

  ISABELLE: You talk a big game Spiderman. I’ve gotta go, Kimberley is close to actually scolding me! xx

  JACE: Give her hell babe! See you later x

  Isabelle tucked her phone back in her pocket, sighed heavily, then pulled Kimberley’s poem in front of her to begin reading.

  There are two within my head and sometimes the pressure nearly kills me.

  Although my heart feels empty, my head is full with thoughts and emotions that I cannot control and don’t know how to harness.

  There are memories that try to drown me,

  Cold nights, rough hands,

  Whispered threats as my innocence is ripped from me

  The reason I’ve been split in two.

  I push away the memories and wear a mask of calm and arrogance,

  But control is all just an illusion and I have hidden my secrets well.

  They push and poke and press me to breaking and then my hands are not my own, my words ripped from my tongue and my wrath to rival the gods.

  I appear cruel and calculating,

  But I am not truly a monster and the pain I inflict is also my own.

  The other inside me would see the whole world burn just to create a spark in our eyes.

  But I will not be used for a destruction other than my own.

  I’m alone in this world,

  Bitter and broken.

  I stand tall as they pass their judgement.

  They want to hurt me,

  They want to break me,

  They want to shut me away in darkness.

  Just like HE did.

  But I will not allow it.

  I will not cower in fear ever again.

  Weakness is a choice and I choose to be strong.

  I will not kneel before anyone ever again and when it’s my time to leave this earth.

  I will soar higher than the heavens could ever dream.

  And. I. Will. Not. Fall.

  Isabelle froze, her heart pounding, mouth open in shock.

  Holy. Shit.

  Isabelle’s gaze snapped up to Kimberley who was watching her in avid fascination, her hands shaking as they gripped Isabelle’s poem.