Home is Where the Heart Is (Home #1)

by Cheynee Filkov

  “Did you really write this?” Isabelle whispered.

  Kimberley’s eyes narrowed. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You think I’m that worthless that I can’t even string a few pretty words together?”

  “These aren’t pretty words,” Isabelle replied. “This is… there’s no real words for the pain in that poem. Who hurt you?”

  It was the wrong thing to say. A callous thing to say, but the words escaped her anyway.

  Kimberley rose angrily to her feet.

  “Yeah, I’m not doing this.”

  Shoving a piece of paper into Isabelle’s hands, Kimberley stormed off. Not even looking back once.

  Isabelle looked down at the crumpled paper to see it was the second piece of paper Kimberley had been given to review Isabelle’s poem.

  Ms. Taylor must have known they were going to be useless at the task because she’d even set out questions for them to answer to make it easier.

  That wasn’t really surprising. What was surprising was that Kimberley had answered them.

  What do you think the poem was about?

  Being cold.

  Did you relate to the poem on any level?

  We’ve all been cold.

  Did you enjoy reading the poem?

  As much as one can enjoy torture.

  What did the poem make you feel?

  Clarity.

  They were all smart arse answers - except for maybe the last one. Glancing at the door and realising Kimberley wasn’t coming back, Isabelle jotted her own answers down hastily and then gathered her things.

  As soon as she walked out of the library the cold awareness that someone was watching her washed over her once more, not leaving her until she had made it well out of the school grounds.

  CHAPTER 12

  JACE

  Time was a bitch that slowed down for no one and did not care what collateral damage was left behind. Life seemed to just keep moving forward no matter how hard Jace tried to delay its progress so he could try and gain a handle on things.

  He had known Isabelle three months now and was still no closer to figuring her out. He needed more time to be able to break a couple of her barriers down, but every time he thought he was close, something would inevitably come up and she would shut down again.

  There were days when it all seemed so effortless and easy. They would play Mario Cart in his room, sit and watch the sunset at the beach or just talk for hours while Jace gathered Isabelle close, peppering her with little kisses whenever she would allow it. Lately she’d even initiated some of the kisses, her hot little body pressed firmly against his as she took everything he offered. They were honestly the best days of his life.

  Then there were days like today.

  The teachers were idiots for thinking for even a second that pairing Isabelle and Kimberley together was going to solve either of their issues. He had no idea how she’d managed it but Kimberley had twisted her bitterness inside Isabelle’s head, and now she was paranoid, convinced that someone was watching them and hovering just out of their sight.

  Although being worse than useless when it came to distressed females, he’d tried really hard to calm her down. But the harder he tried to convince her there was nothing to be afraid of, the more paranoid she became, and now he was the bad guy.

  Today he’d suggested they try counselling together. Him, for his ‘daddy issues’ and her to work through what that jerk off had done to her.

  It hadn’t gone well. At all.

  When she’d realised he was serious, her eyes had flashed with panic before she’d reacted quickly with rage. After telling him coldly that there was nothing wrong with her and she never thought she’d have to explain herself to him, she’d demanded that he leave or she was in risk of slapping him.

  He would have taken the slap if he thought it would have done any good, but he could see she was thirty seconds off a category five meltdown. Jace decided it would be better for now if he went home immediately, and had to force himself to push away the urge to check out with drugs. Instead, he slumped on his couch, desperate to see any sign of her.

  Her balcony doors were closed with the curtains drawn tightly shut, a clear indication that she did not want to see or speak to him. After the first hour of just staring at her balcony like a creep, he began to debate whether he could jump across and beg her to speak to him…if he didn’t need to be taken to the hospital first.

  Fuck. He was so out of his depth with this girl. He had literally no idea what he was doing and it wasn’t like he had much relationship experience.

  “Hey loser, why are you sitting here like a creeper?”

  Jace didn’t even glance Maia’s way.

  “I just want to be alone.”

  “Right. Is this about Isabelle again?”

  Jace shot her a dark glare which she returned with a knowing smile.

  “Nailed it,” shoving him unceremoniously out of the way, Maia relaxed beside him, pulling her legs up to her chest and propping her head on her knees.

  “So, spill.”

  Jace barely suppressed his groan. Not exactly something he wanted to talk to his sister about.

  “I’m waiting,” she told him with narrowed eyes.

  “It’s nothing,” he snapped, his frustration increasing further when Maia grinned.

  “I don’t need the twin connection to call bullshit, Jace. So you can either talk to me and let me help you or I’ll talk to Isabelle about it.”

  She wasn’t bluffing. Maia never bluffed and she was nothing if not consistent.

  “You’re pretty fucking annoying,” he told her.

  Maia shrugged, nonplussed. “Noted. Now spill.”

  Jace sighed deeply. “I don’t even know. Things seem great and we’re kissing, hanging out and having this awesome connection, and then I say something to trigger her and it’s like twenty steps back. Can’t get this shit straight in my head.”

  “What happened today?”

  “I suggested counselling. For both of us.”

  Maia tensed but her face was blank. “She freak out?”

  “Yup.”

  “You love her.”

  It wasn’t poised as a question but Jace nodded anyway.

  “That’s the problem. She has freak outs because you make her feel whole and loved and she doesn’t feel worthy of it, and until she sorts her shit out, you will always be out of her league.”

  “That’s bullshit!” he snarled.

  Maia’s eyes flashed and without a word she dragged him inside and shut the balcony doors behind them.

  “What the hell?” he demanded.

  “My question exactly. What. The. Hell. Get your emotions in check. She could have heard every word, and you losing your temper will only freak her out more.”

  Clamping his mouth shut, Jace worked on his breathing. Maia was right…as usual, but that didn’t stop the ice hardening in his veins.

  Maia moved around silently, putting his iPod on the dock and blasting Linkin Park, before resuming her position on the edge of his bed.

  “Sorry,” he muttered.

  Shrugging the apology away, she offered a smile.

  “So she’s freaking, you’re freaking – what’s the game plan?”

  “Game plan?”

  “Yeah, you know your BGG – Big Grand Gesture. It’s her birthday at the end of the month - that would be the perfect time.”

  Jace let the words sink in. A grand gesture to prove his feelings and make her see how much she belonged here … and he had less than a month to organize it.

  Could he do it? Did he even want to?

  “Well?” Maia prodded.

  Jace groaned, placing his hands over his eyes.

  “They’re gonna take my man card away.”

  Maia whooped in joy.

  “Yay! You’re gonna have the prettiest babies!”

  Jace groaned again, praying Maia kept that little dream to herself.

  “Jace?”

  The hesi
tation in her tone had him looking up in alarm.

  “I… I’m proud of you for even considering counselling, and if you’re still interested – I’d like to go with you.”

  It wasn’t often Maia let her guard down and allowed raw, unfiltered emotion to display nakedly in front of others, so when he saw the tears in her eyes combined with the quivering lip, he knew he couldn’t deny her this.

  “Sure.”

  The surprise that flittered across her face was a kick to the stomach.

  “Thank you,” she murmured, before leaving swiftly.

  Sighing deeply, Jace powered up his laptop. He had work to do.

  *

  “You know the plan?” Jace asked Matt, who rolled his eyes.

  “Jesus, yes! Between you and Maia, even if I get amnesia I’ll know the fucking plan!”

  “If you’re going to be cranky, you can’t come,” Maia said loftily, appearing at his side.

  Matt plastered a tight smile on his face.

  “I’m sorry baby, I have it all covered, I promise.”

  Maia allowed Matt to peck her cheek before she left the room again.

  “Pussy whipped,” Jace snorted.

  Matt held the picnic basket up. “Really? You can say that to me?”

  Jace smirked. “To the guy that hand built an outdoor pond for Maia, complete with garden and gazebo because of her obsession with Disney movies? Yeah, I think I can.”

  Matt shrugged. “I’m not going to apologise for trying to make the girl of my dreams happy.”

  Jace nudged him playfully. “I’m being a douche, you know how I feel about you and Maia.”

  “Disgusted and uncomfortable?”

  “Exactly.”

  Matt chuckled. “I better head out and wingman the shit out of this for you.”

  Jace sobered slightly. “Thanks man.”

  Matt grinned. “Don’t worry about it. One day I’ll call in a favour, and you won’t be allowed to bitch at me.”

  With a playful punch, Matt left Jace to shower and try to calm his nerves.

  *

  It was utterly unbelievable.

  He couldn’t remember ever feeling so anxious before. This was the craziest thing he had ever done in his life and he’d done a lot of drug induced crazy shit. No drugs in his system now, though he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t itching for something to take the edge off.

  The strange buzzing he could hear in the back of his mind and feel pulsating through his body was back, and it made him even more nervous. Only a couple times had he felt it before, and each of those times he was a live wire, ready to be tripped at a moment’s notice.

  Shit, he could not let whatever mental issues he had going on mess this night up, but if he didn’t lock his shit down soon he would need another shower and one of his mum’s valiums.

  He took a deep calming breath and walked out to his balcony, the fresh breeze on his face cooling his heated skin. He could do this, it wasn’t a life or death thing - it was just a fucking party…and him declaring his love for a girl who he wasn’t entirely sure was ready to hear it.

  Get it together, you pussy.

  One way or the other, after tonight, he would know where he stood, and this awkward in between phase could be done with. His phone vibrated with a text from Maia - go time.

  “I’m going out,” he called to his Mum, taking the stairs two at a time.

  “Have fun and wish Isabelle a happy birthday from me.”

  The sound of her voice had him stumbling over his feet and he smacked his face against the stairs as he tumbled down.

  “Jace! You need to be more careful!” she scolded him, hovering over his body.

  Pushing himself to his feet and trying to shake off the shock of her actually acknowledging him, he shrugged.

  “I wasn’t expecting a response and it startled me, I guess.”

  Guilt swept across her face and he felt like a Grade A douche.

  “I’ll tell her you said hey. Have a good night.” He hesitated a moment and then wrapped an arm around her shoulders, squeezed briefly, then let go before she had the chance to reject him.

  He left his Mum standing there, stunned and wide eyed. As he walked out the front, Isabelle was climbing out of Maia’s car, dressed in a muted orange low cut dress with matching sandals and her hair down and wavy.

  He groaned inwardly as he realised she wasn’t even wearing a bra.

  Jesus, was Maia trying to kill him? When she said she’d make sure Isabelle had the perfect birthday outfit he had no idea she meant this.

  “Hello, my birthday angel,” he called.

  Isabelle’s eyes locked with his and her entire face lit up.

  “Hey!”

  He forced himself to keep an even pace and not run to her like he really wanted to, but apparently Isabelle had other ideas as she raced over to him and launched herself into his arms.

  “I missed you!”

  He froze with his arms locked around her. Had he just heard her right?

  “Um…”

  Isabelle chuckled. “You’re going to give me a complex if this is how you react every time I say something nice to you.”

  “Sorry, I meant to say I always miss you. Did you have fun shopping?”

  Isabelle released him and then did a seductive little twirl.

  “Maia made me buy this,” she looked up at him from under her lashes. “She said orange is your favourite colour.”

  What the hell?

  What was happening right now? Was she seducing him? On purpose?

  “Are you trying to charm your surprise out of me with those seductive moves?” he joked, trying to keep the blood from rushing downwards.

  Her cheeks flushed scarlet and she looked away.

  Jace beamed - she had the worst poker face ever.

  “I knew it was too good to be true, having you all over me. You are tempting as fuck Angel, but I’m not telling you anything.”

  Isabelle sighed in frustration. “But it’s my birthday and I hate surprises.”

  Jace spun her into his arms, her ear by his mouth. “Not this surprise.”

  Her breathing became heavier and he swore he could get high just off her reaction to him. Fuck drugs – this girl was his addiction, his high, his everything.

  “It’s a great dress by the way,” he said casually as he took her hand and pulled her towards his Ute.

  “Not great enough,” she muttered under her breath, allowing Jace to help her into the passenger seat.

  “You’re making it incredibly hard to behave myself,” Jace whispered against her neck as he buckled her in before heading over to the driver’s side.

  “You’re not planning on murdering me and leaving my body in the woods, right?” Isabelle asked with an eyebrow quirk. “Because that would probably ruin my birthday.”

  Jace broke out in a huge smile, his nerves starting to fade away.

  “Damn, you’re onto me!”

  “Just be warned that I took a Tae Kwon Do class once, and I know how to break your ribs.”

  Jace smirked. “Once?”

  Isabelle shrugged. “I was obviously the fastest learner and didn’t need to take any more classes.”

  Jace looked over at her and into those bright hazel eyes filled with amusement and affection.

  He was so lost in this girl he had no idea if he would ever be found again.

  “I guess I’ll have to go with Plan B then, just for my own safety.”

  Isabelle smiled in delight. “Yeah, if you want to keep your rep as a bad arse, then I guess that’s for the best.”

  They fell into a comfortable silence as Jace drove the rest of the way. Parking a safe distance away he took a deep breath as he rushed around to her side of the door, pulling a blindfold out from his front pocket with shaking hands.

  “You’ve got to put this on, Angel,” he told her quietly as he opened her door.

  Isabelle’s eyes grew wide and she bit her lip nervously. “A blindfold?”


  “Do you trust me?” he asked, tracing a line across her cheek with his thumb.

  She surprised them both by nodding almost instantly.

  Jace tied it over her eyes firmly, smoothing her hair as he went.

  “I’ve got you,” he murmured as he helped her out of the car, keeping a firm hold on her waist as he guided her.

  “I know,” she whispered back. “I’m safe with you.”

  Thank God she was blindfolded because he couldn’t keep the stupid grin off his face at her words.

  “Rookie mistake,” he told her gruffly.

  Isabelle giggled and elbowed him lightly, trying to push him away.

  “Nope, no running today, Angel,” Jace told her as he vaulted her up over his shoulder, keeping an arm around her waist to hold her steady.

  “Jace! Put me down!” she shrieked, but he noticed she wasn’t trying terribly hard to pull away from him.

  “Not even if you begged…and I’ll be honest with you, Angel, the thought of you begging does things to me.”

  He was waiting for a slap or a cry of indignation but instead her small hands began to trace up and down his lower back, teasing his waist line.

  “What are you doing?” he asked tightly.

  “Nothing,” she replied innocently as she pulled his shirt up and began her assault on his bare skin.

  “Shit,” he muttered under his breath and quickened his pace.

  Isabelle laughed gleefully. “You’re not the only one interested in the idea of begging.”

  “What has gotten into you today?” Jace asked, trying to keep his body under control.

  “Can’t a girl just touch her ‘label free guy’ without an agenda?”

  “Nope,” Jace replied, relieved when he could see they were getting closer.

  “OK, fine. Maia gave me some champagne to calm my nerves before she dropped me home,” Isabelle admitted in a huff.

  Of course she did. He was going to have a little talk with his baby sister later if Isabelle was too buzzed to pay attention to what he had to say.

  “But I’m not drunk,” she continued to tell him. “I feel totally fine, just really light and happy. Oh! Did you know Tate is thinking of visiting next holidays? Wouldn’t that be fun? Maybe he’ll bring the mystery girl he keeps talking about. Did he say anything to you at the airport about a girl?”