by Mia Hoddell
“I can play dirtier if you want.” She took a step closer to me. The smell of chocolate, cream, and sugar engulfed me with the heat from her body.
I gazed down at her with a crooked smirk. “Oh yeah?”
She nodded, drawing her lip into her mouth.
I leaned in. I could see her pulse racing in her neck and she fought to keep her breath steady as I closed the gap so barely centimetres remained between us. Her strawberry jam scented breath swept over me and I kept my eyes fixed on hers when I murmured, “How dirty?”
“As dirty as it takes.” She swallowed. Her words came out in a choked gasp and because her gaze never left mine she didn’t see me moving my hand slowly towards the box of éclairs.
Her eyelids fluttered shut then in one swift movement, I snatched the box from her hand.
She squealed and stared at me in shock as I backed into my flat, heat flaring on her cheeks.
“Bad luck, Taz.” I made a show of biting into one of the éclairs and groaned in approval around the mouthful. When I went to take a second bite, Tazia moved quicker than I anticipated and squashed the pastry into my face. Cream exploded out of the sides, melted chocolate coated my nose, and Tazia smeared it over me, making sure to cover every inch of my jaw.
“Is that dirty enough for you?”
I swiped the back of my hand over my eyes to remove the cream blinding me and shook it off into the container I still held. Blinking a few times, I homed in on Tazia with feigned irritation. “Fine, if you’re going to start destroying perfectly good food, I’ll go, but you’ll pay for that at some point. I’ll be back in a minute.”
I headed for my bedroom, making sure I kept the éclairs with me. I wouldn’t let Tazia ruin delicious food for the sake of a food fight. It didn’t matter how much I liked seeing her riled up or flustered. Food was food and no one messed with my chocolate.
* * *
It took us eight hours to finally arrive home with two seahorses, which were acclimating to the water. Tazia hadn’t moved from in front of the tank since, watching the little guys float around for hours, and I had to admit the pale blue glow from the aquarium was relaxing, though most of my attention remained fixated on Tazia. Her stillness and focus mesmerised me. She appeared content inside her own head and I couldn’t help wishing I could have felt even a sliver of her peace. Left alone, my thoughts still ran wild over what could have been.
Tazia glanced at me over her shoulder. “What are you going to call them?”
“Bumblebee and Ironhide?” I don’t know why I felt the need to get Taz’s approval since the names came out more like a question.
“You mean like the Transformers?”
The fact she knew the characters by name momentarily impressed me. “Yeah.”
She spun to face me on her chair, her nose and mouth scrunched up like the names left a bad taste in her mouth. “You can’t name them after lumps of metal.”
“Why not?”
“They’re delicate and gentle creatures.”
“Okay, how about Mario and Luigi?”
She crossed her arms, her lips pursed. “No.”
“Oh come on, Mario and Luigi fits them perfectly. They’re tiny and funny to watch.”
“No.” She repeated, her tone leaving no room for argument.
“Donatello and Leonardo?”
“You can’t use turtle names for seahorses. You’ll give them a complex.”
She sounded serious so I held in my laughter. “Technically they’re artists.”
“You were so not thinking of the artists when you picked those names.”
She was right. Not that I would admit it. “I thought they were my pets. Why am I even listening to you?”
“Because I’m awesome and I’m stopping a grave injustice.”
I arched my eyebrow. “What would you call them then?”
Tazia bit down on the finger she’d placed at the corner of her mouth and cast her gaze to the ceiling in thought. When she released her finger, her lips quirked and her eyes danced when they met mine. “Bubbles and Squishy.”
“We are not calling them Bubbles and Squishy.”
She pouted. “Why not? They’re cute and they deserve cute names.”
“If I can’t name them after the Transformers, Mario Brothers, or Ninja Turtles, you are definitely not calling them Bubbles and Squishy. They’re men, so they deserve manly names,” I countered.
Tazia rolled her eyes and muttered something. I couldn’t decipher what she’d said, just that it didn’t sound flattering by her tone.
I was about to suggest two more names when her phone rang on top of my coffee table. Glancing down at the screen, I caught sight of the name Max as Tazia swept the device up. Her eyes bugged and her entire body stiffened when she saw the display.
She puffed out the air forcefully, slid her finger over the screen, and silenced the ringing. When she placed the device back on the table and glanced up at me again it was only the fact she tried so hard not to let her reaction to the call show that stopped me from questioning her.
“What about Michael and Ralf?” I said, and I knew I’d made the right choice when her expression brightened fleetingly.
“What cartoon are they from?”
I barked out a laugh. “They’re drivers, Taz. You know, Michael and Ralf Schumacher?”
“Oh.” A blush broke out on her cheeks and she dipped her head so her hair fell forward to cover her face.
“Do they pass?”
She pretended to think about it. “I guess it’s as good as it’s going to get. At least they’re people and not fictional characters.”
“Ralf and Michael it is then.”
“Have you ever met them?” She joined me on the sofa, hauling her broken leg up to rest on the table.
“Teo met Michael. I’m only GP2, though. We don’t really get the big names coming to our races.”
She reached out and poked my arm. “I think I’m with the wrong brother.”
My heart skipped a beat at her words. Whilst she wasn’t mine and she hadn’t meant it like that, my brain couldn’t help but go there.
Even when it shouldn’t have.
After a week in her company it felt natural to be around her. Everything felt easy and effortless. I hadn’t suffered a dark turn since admitting the truth, rather I found myself gradually leaving it all behind. Not only had all of my bruises healed, the scratches on my face were barely faint pink trails now. It actually felt good to look in a mirror again. I saw the old me steadily emerging as my heart slowly stitched itself back together. Feelings had returned to my body, and with them came the realisation I wanted Tazia more than I cared to admit.
Only the reminder of the fact she still kept something from me and the worry of how it would affect me, prevented from pursuing her romantically.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be there next season. I’m already in talks with a team over contracts, but don’t tell anyone. It’s top secret.”
Tazia didn’t appear to be paying attention. She concentrated hard on something, her teeth gritted together.
“Are you okay?” I asked when her hand started hovering around her cast.
“Do you have a pencil or something? My leg is driving me nuts.”
I opened the drawer in the mini table next to the sofa. “Does a ruler work?”
I hadn’t even finished speaking when her hand shot out in a grabby gesture. “Gimme.”
She snatched it from me. The second she wedged it between her cast and her leg to scratch the irritable spot she moaned. The sound came out throaty and a little breathless. It was wrong, but when she combined it with a sensual “Oh God,” my cock twitched.
She made these little moans of approval, only adding to my problem. Each one sent a spike of pleasure straight to my groin as I imagined making her call out in pleasure for an entirely different reason. With every position I imagined, my dick hardened until it rubbed against the rough grain of my jeans.
Seahorses.<
br />
Dead seahorses
Wounded animals.
Nothing I thought of became enough of a distraction to quell my erection.
Elora.
That solved the problem immediately, and mercifully Tazia stopped what she was doing. Removing the ruler, she handed it back to me. “I can’t wait to be shot of this thing. It’s so fucking irritating.
I placed the ruler back in the drawer. “How much longer have you got to wear it?”
“Two weeks. It’s taking forever to heal.”
“How did it happen?”
Tazia stiffened, sitting up straighter. For a moment only the sound of the clock ticking filled the room. I was about to ask again when a knock sounded on my door and I glanced over the back of the sofa with a scowl.
“Expecting someone?” Tazia asked, focused on her lap where her fingers dug into her palms.
I shook my head in the hope she could see me from the corner of her eye. Hauling myself from the chair with a groan, I stalked towards the door. I wanted to stay in my bubble with Taz and find out what had her reacting like I’d shot her.
Removing the chain on the door, I undid the lock.
“He’s alive!” two voices shouted simultaneously before I even opened the door fully. I didn’t need to see the faces of two of my best friends to know who was out in the hallway. Their accents were major giveaways. Cale with his thick Finnish and Raffele with his Italian drawl.
When I had the door opened wide, I blocked the living room, and in turn Tazia, from view. Bracing my arm on the door above my head, I said, “Of course I am. Why would you think otherwise?”
“Anthony’s been giving us the run-around. The guy is like ex-Secret Service with the way he can avoid questions,” Cale said. “We decided to come and see you for ourselves. What’s been going on, Dustin? Where have you been?”
A scrape along the floorboards caused both of them to lock on to Tazia over my shoulder.
“Oh, I see.” Raffele grinned knowingly and socked me on the arm. “I wouldn’t want to see us either if I had her.”
“Not what it looks like, man. She’s my neighbour.”
“Then I definitely wouldn’t leave the house. Aren’t you going to introduce us?”
I rolled my eyes and grudgingly stepped out of the doorway. “Guys, meet Tazia. Taz, this is Cale, and that embarrassing flirt is Raffele. Ignore anything they say.”
I expected her to liven up a bit and be her usually bubbly self, yet Taz only gave the guys a wave. Then she faced me. “I should probably head back home.”
She already had her crutches in her hands. From the corner of my eye I saw the guys’ shock at the sight of her cast. She refused to meet my eyes as she hobbled over to us, though Cale and Raffele got a brief smile.
What the hell had I done?
I glared at the guys and pointed at the sofa. Thankfully, they moved without question and I headed after Taz. I closed the door behind me and reached for Taz’s wrist. Gently, I pulled, forcing her to stand toe-to-toe with me.
“What’s going on?”
She stared at my chest like she could burn a hole through it. “I forgot I have some stuff I need to do.”
I placed my fingers under her chin lightly. Tilting her head back, I forced her to meet my gaze. “What did I say about lying to me, Taz?”
“I’m not lying,” she said without blinking.
I took a step forward and she mirrored the movement by taking a step backwards. Her back hit her door as she tried to widen the gap.
“There you go again. Don’t lie to me, Taz. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I needed to go.” Her door clicked open and she slipped inside her flat.
“Taz—”
“I’m fine.” She poked her head out of the tiny gap she left open. “Really, go hang out with your friends.”
She shut the door in my face and even though I’d only known her a few weeks, I knew full well the final smile she’d given me wasn’t real. Her eyes said everything her mouth didn’t. They had been swirling with some kind of trouble Taz had been working hard to hide from me.
She’d warned me from the beginning she was fucked up, and I’d brushed it off. This was the first time I got a glimpse not everything in Tazia’s life was as perfect as she wanted everyone to believe.
“Hey, I think she forgot her phone. Max hung up before I could get it to you,” Cale said coming out of my home. He held up Tazia’s mobile and the mention of Max sent a prickle of irritation down my spine. Everything had been fine until she’d received that phone call. Who was Max and what was he to Tazia?
I glanced at her door and took the phone from Cale. Slipping it into my pocket, I decided to give it back later once the guys had gone. That way I could talk to her and hopefully get some answers, because I needed to know what she was keeping from me. I refused to be taken for a ride again, and the more time I spent with her, the harder she became to resist. The only option left was the truth.
Chapter Thirteen
Tazia
I overreacted. I figured it out as soon as I shut my door and by then it was too late. The damage had been done and I could tell from Dustin’s hardened expression he wasn’t going to let the subject go.
If only I’d had the brains to figure that out earlier. Had I acted more reasonably, I could have avoided all of the questions bound to come my way.
I couldn’t help it though. The last person I’d expected to be calling me was Max. Seeing his name threw me off balance, and combined with Dustin’s questions about my leg it became too much. I couldn’t have been more relieved when Cale and Raffele interrupted us. They gave me the perfect excuse to disappear and avoid the inquisition I saw forming in Dustin’s eyes.
I had no intention of spilling my secrets. After everything Dustin revealed I couldn’t. I’d already seen how my hints caused him to react and I could understand why. If he knew the full extent of what I concealed he would run away from me, and he needed me.
At least that was what I told myself.
I had done everything so far because I worried about him. I wanted to fix Dustin and my past would only break him further.
Yeah, I was lying to myself.
If it had been the truth, the thought of losing him wouldn’t have felt like a stab to the heart with a serrated knife.
We’d only known each other a few weeks, yet being over there every day gave me something to look forward to. I enjoyed his company and since his darker days had become more infrequent he was even more of a laugh to be around. I could easily fall for Dustin, and it took a conscious effort to remind myself it wasn’t an option. I couldn’t be the one to build him up only to destroy him all over again.
It was why I stared at my front door for the rest of the evening, trying to come up with a believable lie. I assumed Dustin would be knocking on my door as soon as his mates left and I wanted to be ready. However, as it neared eleven o’clock he still hadn’t appeared.
When it reached eleven thirty I thought I’d chanced my luck enough and headed to bed.
* * *
I didn’t get a chance to evade Dustin the next morning. Before I’d even slipped out of bed the hammering on my door began.
“Taz!”
I pulled the duvet over my head with a groan. The warmth embraced me and I sank further into the mattress. Burying my head into the pillow and darkness, I curled it up around my ears too, yet nothing deadened the sound of Dustin’s pounding.
“Tazia, open the door.”
I wondered how long it would take for him to get the message I wasn’t coming.
“I’ll break it down, Taz. Don’t test me.”
What is he? A bloody mind reader now?
With a curse I threw back my duvet. I lifted my cast on to the floor first and then hauled myself up into a sitting position. Grabbing my crutches from beside my nightstand, I tugged them on roughly and stood up.
The entire way to the front door I grumbled under my breath, swearing
to kill Dustin when I got my hands on him.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing? It’s eight a.m. on a Saturday,” I hissed as soon as I yanked my door open and planted myself firmly in the entrance. His smirk only served to irritate me further. When his gaze dropped to take in my attire, an intense hunger filled his eyes as they lingered on my breasts.
I probably should have thrown on a robe considering my top had a few embarrassingly placed holes and worn patches, yet I hadn’t been thinking in my aggravated state.
“Up here, Dustin,” I growled. Snapping my fingers, I pointed at my chin but his stare remained glued to my chest. “Dustin! You did not get me out of bed at this time on the weekend just to ogle my boobs.”
“I should have though.”
I huffed and stepped back. When I moved to shut the door his hand shot out and finally his eyes met mine.
“Damn it. Taz, wait. I’m sorry.”
Luckily for him a hint of remorse shone through, otherwise he’d have received a crutch to the balls.
“I really did want to talk to you.”
“What are the chances of me getting you to leave without saying what you want?”
He pretended to think about it for a second with his fingers splayed over his jaw. “Pretty much non-existent.”
“Fine.” I stepped back far enough to allow him in. Pointing at the sofa I said, “Sit there and wait while I get dressed.”
“I’ll be good.”
I regarded him with suspicion. When I found nothing to betray his words I left him alone and went about washing and dressing, albeit slower than usual. The need to postpone the imminent conversation had me dragging out every step of my morning routine to an agonising pace. Even though I knew the reason for Dustin’s wakeup call and I had time to prepare I still couldn’t figure out what to tell him.
