by Mia Hoddell
Finally, I couldn’t stall any longer.
I fluffed up my freshly dried hair, added a touch of lip gloss, and then slumped out into the living room only to find it empty.
Hope flared in my chest. Maybe Dustin got bored and gave up. A grin started to prick at the corners of my lips, then a hiss of a frying pan stifled it. I found Dustin standing by the stove in my kitchen, pushing eggs around a pan. He beamed at me over his shoulder when he heard my crutches.
“I made you breakfast. With any luck it will go towards making up for waking you so early.”
He slid the omelette onto a plate and pushed it over to me with a knife, fork, and a glass of orange juice.
I studied it warily, spinning my plate to get every angle.
“It’s not going to poison you, Taz. I swear. You’re not the only one who can cook.”
I picked up my forkful dubiously. The anticipation of his questions fuelled my suspicions, but I figured I could use it to my advantage and stall the conversation for a little longer. “Where did you get all of this? My cupboards are bare.”
“I noticed.” Dustin’s tone filled with disapproval as he placed the dried pan on the counter. “I went home and got some stuff from there. Why haven’t you gone shopping?”
“The delivery is coming later today.” I’d finally installed my internet because living without it had become a pain in the ass.
“Oh,” Dustin said, pulling something out of his back pocket. “I forgot. You left your mobile at the flat yesterday.”
He handed me the phone and my stomach rolled when the screen lit up to five missed calls and two texts.
All from Max.
“I ended up switching it off the third time he rang.”
“Sorry. I didn’t even notice it missing.” Not looking up from the screen I continued to poke at the device. With every deleted message the lines on my forehead deepened. I didn’t want to know what Max wanted.
“Taz?”
I hummed and deleted another unread text.
“Tazia,” Dustin said more forcefully, creating a pull I couldn’t resist. I glanced up from my phone to peer at him.
“Who is he?”
“A nobody.” Technically it was the truth. After what he’d done he was a nobody to me.
“Doesn’t look or feel like a nobody.”
My eyes narrowed with my scowl and I snapped my teeth together. “Well he is.”
Dustin braced his forearms on the counter and stared at me. “Bullshit. If he meant nothing you wouldn’t be getting defensive. Who is he, Taz, and why did you change so quickly yesterday?”
“I told you, he’s nobody you need to concern yourself with. I don’t.”
I pushed away the plate of eggs, leaving half of it untouched and a crease of hurt flashed across Dustin’s face. Instantly I felt bad, yet I couldn’t stomach any more. My gut churned like I’d been placed on a boat in the middle of a storm and the meal left the bitter taste of a bribe lingering in my mouth.
“Don’t you like it?”
“It tasted great. I’m just not hungry anymore.”
Sighing, Dustin rounded the counter until he moved in front of me. I swivelled on my seat, tracking his movements to keep him in sight at all times.
“Why can’t you let me in, Taz?” Dustin took my hands in his. They were surprisingly smooth for a guy’s hands. Each sweep of his thumb over my palm made me want to melt into his touch a little further.
Dustin stepped in between my legs and brushed a tendril of hair back behind my ear. When he pulled away his palm lingered to cup my jaw. He tilted my head back, keeping me focused on him and nothing else.
“You know all there is to my story.” He swiped his thumb over my lip and I found myself wanting to draw it in between my lips to suck on. “Why can’t you do the same? I won’t judge you.”
“I never thought you would,” I lied.
“Then tell me. Who is Max and what does he want? Let me help you.”
I cast my gaze down between us. My heart thrummed from both nerves and Dustin’s presence. Every beat came harder than the previous until it felt like the damned thing was going to break out of my chest. I wet my lips and when I raised my eyes to meet his once more, the intensity I found in them sucked all of the air from the room.
“I’m not ready,” I whispered pleadingly.
“Come on, Taz. I know it’s scary, but trust in me. You forced me to talk so I’m not going to give up on you. Why do you admit to being fucked up?”
I stared at him with wild eyes, imploring him not to continue. “I can’t. You’ll hate me.”
He leaned in, so close I could feel his every breath sweeping across my cheek. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.
“I couldn’t ever hate you, Taz. You’ve revived me. Without knowing it you pulled me back from the edge. Let me do the same for you.”
I focused on his lips and before I realised what I was doing I closed the distance between us. I touched my lips to his, gently at first. It was only meant to distract him, yet as soon as our lips met I couldn’t pull away. My hands found his hips, sliding around his waist and linking behind his back. I pressed my lips against his harder and Dustin responded. His hand tangled into my hair, holding me in place while he deepened the kiss. Each caress from him sent a spark of electricity over my skin until my body hummed.
Dustin ran his tongue over my bottom lip, demanding entry. With a moan I parted them. He tasted like mint toothpaste.
I wound my arms tighter around him, not wanting to let him go. With every stroke of his tongue a fresh burst of pleasure shot through my body. I whimpered when he took my bottom lip between his and pulled on it gently. Heat soared through me and my heart beat erratically.
I clawed at the back of his shirt, fisting the material.
With a grunt, Dustin pulled away. His chest heaving, he gazed down at me hungrily.
Slowly, he untangled his hand from my hair. He brushed his knuckles over my cheek and I leaned into his hand.
Dustin opened his mouth to say something when the shrill of my phone interrupted him. Jumping apart from him, I glanced over at the device and ignored the call from Max. When I returned my attention to Dustin, all traces of passion vanished.
The eyes that had once been filled with need were now hard with irritation. His jaw clenched and his nostrils flared.
“Who is he, Tazia?”
“Dustin, please.” I wanted to go back to how things were seconds ago. I hadn’t expected him to feel so good and I needed to feel it again. I reached for him. When he stepped back that single action hurt more than a punch to the gut.
“I need to know,” he gritted out.
“I-I can’t. Not yet.”
He balled his hands into fists. “Then what just happened can’t happen again.”
“Why? From where I was sitting it felt pretty spectacular.” My shoulders slumped and I huffed dramatically.
“I can’t let you in, Taz. You know why. Until you tell me everything I can’t take that chance again.”
I did know why, and I hated it. It was a fucking catch twenty-two. He wanted me to tell him to protect himself, and I shielded him for the same reason.
Regardless, I’d rather have Dustin as a friend or neighbour than not in my life at all. As soon as I told him he’d look at me differently. He’d compare me to Elora and as soon as he linked me to her whatever we had going on would be over before the spark could ignite.
“I can’t, Dustin. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Chapter Fourteen
Dustin
It had been ten days since Tazia kissed me.
Ten fucking days of awkward glances, half-assed smiles, and stilted conversations.
It had also been ten days of hell where I tried to pretend I didn’t want her. Before the kiss I could only imagine what she’d feel like pressed against me, now I had every curve, taste, and smell ingrained into my memory. And I wanted it bad.
It was a rel
ief to be in Monza and away from it all. I didn’t have to see Tazia parading around her flat in her mouth-watering pyjamas, I didn’t have to hear her laugh that melted my insides, and I could attempt to push her from my mind for at least the weekend.
Well, it had taken me a good few hours to finally succeed at that since she’d left me with a worrying conversation about taking care of Ralf and Michael.
“Are you sure you’re going to be able to look after them?” I queried, packing the last set of clothes into a duffle bag.
“Yeah, sure. We’ll have a great time, won’t we, Ralf?” Tazia tapped on the glass lightly, making the creatures scurry into hiding.
“Positive? You know they need to be fed regularly and the tank needs cleaning this week.”
She gave me a devilish grin. “I guess this is a bad time to bring up the turtle I killed as a kid.”
“What?” I shrieked, my voice cracking around the word. “Turtles are meant to outlive us! I’m calling Nadine to look after both of you. You obviously can’t be trusted.”
“Who’s Nadine?” Tazia scrunched up her nose in distaste.
“Why? Jealous?”
She laughed, even if it held an undercurrent of tension. “No, but just in case why don’t you tell me who she is?”
“She’s a friend. I know her through Raine and she’s the only one who’s going to be around since everyone else is in Monza. Do I need to call her?”
Tazia feigned innocence and batted away my concerns. “Don’t worry, I’ve got it.”
“What about the turtle?”
“It was ill when we got it, don’t panic. I was only winding you up.”
“Not funny.”
Even though I felt confident in Tazia’s ability to feed Michael and Ralf on a regular basis, the conversation didn’t exactly have me skipping onto the plane. I’d grown to adore those tiny creatures. Nevertheless, after take-off all of those problems were left behind and I focused on the more prominent ones because Monza was a bittersweet escape since it only replaced one problem with another. As one of the few races to coincide with the Formula One calendar it meant Teo would be at the track, and therefore so would Raine. From what I’d seen in the gossip magazine they’d been inseparable since Silverstone.
Just because I may not have spoken to my brother or best friend since I’d stormed out of our flat it didn’t mean I’d stopped caring. They hadn’t tried to call and I made sure we never ran into each other, but I followed their lives in my own way.
It was the longest either of us had ever gone without speaking. I didn’t know how to act around them and it probably felt the same on their end.
“Hey, Dustin!” someone called out from behind me.
I spun to find Zeke Lawson jogging up to meet me. With wide eyes I glanced nervously around the pit lane. As one of the top Formula One drivers, the media cared what Zeke did. He drew attention everywhere he went either because of his status or his reputation with women. He also happened to be one of Teo’s closest friends so it made him a dangerous person to be seen with since I had been attempting to blend in.
People noticed Zeke when he called my name a second time so I did the only thing I could think of. I fled. I headed straight for my garage, dipping my hat low over my eyes and gently pushing through the crowd.
I was about to search for Anthony when a hand landed on my shoulder. Zeke blocked my exit, not even out of breath. The bastard. I couldn’t be classed as unfit, but I was nowhere near his league. He entered triathlons for crying out loud.
“What did you run for? Didn’t you hear me shouting?”
“Yes. That’s exactly why I ran. I’m trying to keep a low profile,” I grumbled and caught sight of Anthony coming through from the back of the garage over Zeke’s shoulder.
Zeke laughed. “I don’t think you’re that well known right now, Dust. Wait until next year, though. I heard you’re going to be my teammate.”
I drew my gaze back to him. “Uh, I haven’t signed anything, but hopefully. And I can deal with that kind of attention, it’s Teo or Raine I’m running from. They’re usually not far behind you. Have you seen them?”
Zeke gave me a knowing grin. “They’re back at the hotel so you’re safe. I don’t think they’ll be leaving until Teo’s manager hauls him off, literally. If you know what I mean.”
I couldn’t hold in the disgusted choke. “Thanks for the lovely mental image.”
“No problem, it’s what I’m here for. Why are you running from them? You know they miss you, right?”
I groaned and massaged my forehead. “Does everyone know about my problems?”
Zeke shook his head. “No, that’s the problem, pal. No one knows what’s going on or how to help you.”
I puffed out my cheeks and blew the air from them. “Listen, I appreciate the concern from everyone. But I need to do this by myself and I’m getting there.”
“You had better be in shape for next season. I want to beat your brother’s ass and the team needs you to make it possible. The sponsors will eat up the brothers racing against each other shit too.”
“I will. I’m planning on beating him myself, though I don’t want to jump the gun. I haven’t even been offered a contract.”
Zeke folded his arms. “You might want to check with your manager; I think you’re a certainty at this point. Everyone wants you on board.”
Something over my shoulder caught Zeke’s attention and his expression shifted to a shit-eating grin in a split second.
“Anyway, good talk, and now I see a cute brunette over there who looks like she could use a good time.” Zeke clapped me on the back and strolled past me.
* * *
I managed to make it the whole weekend without running into Teo or Raine.
At least I thought I had.
The celebrations over my win with my team were still in full swing when a sharp, familiar voice cut through the cheers.
“Hey, dipshit!”
I spun so quickly I nearly fell over. The crowd around me parted, most of my mechanics still awed by my brother’s presence as he strolled through them. I thought they’d have been used to it by now, but obviously not.
“Teo, hey.” I passed the trophy I’d been holding off to one of my engineers, and just in time. As soon as my hands were free, Teo threw his arms around me in a crushing hug.
“Shit, it’s good to see you. Nice race today, by the way.” He pulled back and squeezed my shoulders.
“Wish I could say the same,” I teased. My eyes creased in jest, and for once I felt on top of the world. The contrast between my previous races was undeniable.
“Yeah, yeah. You’ve missed me, admit it.”
“Yeah. I also miss the poison ivy rash I got when I was twelve because you pushed me in a ditch.”
Teo shook his head and we both laughed. “You look good, Dustin.”
“I feel good.” And it was the truth. I’d dominated the whole weekend on track, even managing to crack a joke for the cameras.
“Yeah? Does that mean this self-imposed isolation has come to an end? Raine’s been nagging me to get in contact with you all weekend.”
And there we went. I kept my smile up, though inside my stomach roiled uneasily. I knew it wasn’t possible to run into him without him bringing up the past.
“I may look okay, Teo, but I need more time. You know I love Raine, but she’ll pry. I’m getting there, I promise, just…give me a bit more time.”
Teo’s face fell, his eyes gleaming with concern. “You know you’re not in this alone, right? We’re both here for you no matter what.”
I dropped my hand to his shoulder, squeezing it in thanks. “I know, and I’m not alone. I promise I’ll come and see Raine when I’m ready.”
Teo nodded curtly. “I’m going to ask her to marry me, by the way. I haven’t decided when, but I wanted you to be the first to know.”
“Like you needed to tell me. You’ve been hung up on her for years. It’s about bloody time if yo
u ask me.” I pulled him into a hug. “Congrats, I’m glad you two worked it out.”
Teo chuckled. “She hasn’t said yes yet.”
“She will. You don’t have to worry about that. Your love is one of a kind.”
Teo separated us, although he kept hold of my arms. The stare he gave me became serious and bore into me. “You’ll find someone too, Dustin. Elora wasn’t the one. However, that doesn’t mean there isn’t someone.”
Tazia instantly filled my mind. Yeah, I knew there was someone out there, I just didn’t know if I could take the risk and trust her.
I clapped Teo on his back. “Good luck in your race. Destroy Hattersey while you’re out there.”
“I intend to. His career is over after the shit he pulled. You’re not going to watch?”
I shrugged. “I will if I can. Anthony’s hovering with my lawyer like he needs me for something though.”
Teo widened his stance, folded his arms, and straightened his lips into a tight line. “What have you done now?”
“What do you mean what have I done now? When was the last time I did anything?”
“How about when you ended up in jail?”
“For a few hours,” I reminded him. People in my life sure liked hanging my off days over me. I did a few stupid things and suddenly they labelled me the drunk street brawler who’d landed his ass in jail. Like they’d never done stupid shit!
I hated the smug look Teo gave me. “How did that happen again?”
“Fuck off.”
“Come on, one more time. I swear I’ll never bring it up again.”
I tilted my head to the side, bending my knees to catch a glimpse of the clock hidden behind a lower section of the roof. “Haven’t you got a race to prepare for?”
Teo raised his wrist, glancing down at his overly large watch. It happened to be one of the many items he wore to transform him into a human billboard. “Luckily for you, yeah. Don’t be a stranger, Dustin. We’re all here for you if you need us. Remember that.”
We gave each other an awkward half hug, half manly thump on the back. Only when Teo left the garage did I heave a sigh of relief at the fact I’d made it through one conversation without being interrogated. Then again, Raine was the one I expected a grilling from.
