Backfire

by J. R. Tate

  “I don’t know why you put up with me.”

  “Because I love you,” she replied, leaning in to give him another kiss.

  “I love you too.”

  It was times like this that Michael was thankful that he had Eva in his life. Had she not walked through that door when she did, there’s no telling if he eventually would have gone through with it.

  He was scared out of his mind. It had been a long time since he had sat with temptation so close to him. He also felt embarrassed for breaking down the way he had. He tried to control his tears, but the more he fought, the faster they came. He was glad Eva was someone he could trust with it all.

  “I’ve gotta take care of something right quick,” Michael said, as he walked to the kitchen, Eva right behind him. Grabbing the bottle, he twisted the cap off and poured the amber liquid down the sink, watching the poison swirl around. The liquor smell was strong and he quickly backed away, feeling a sense of victory. “Just had to get it out of the house. It was like someone sitting on top of me.”

  “Corny or not, one step at a time.”

  Michael wrapped his arm around her waist, resting his palm in the curve of her back. “Thank you, Eva.”

  “It was all you.”

  “I don’t think I agree with that at all.” He pulled her in for a kiss, this one more passionate than the others. His tongue parted her lips and he ran his fingers through her hair, his other hand caressing the small of her back. Pulling away, his kisses moved down to her neck and up to her ears. She let out a soft moan as he fumbled with the button on her pants.

  All of his worries seemed to slowly fade away, as if making love to Eva would cleanse him of this horrible day and his experience at Rikers Island. She was the only thing solid in his life. He took in her scent, the smoothness of her skin, and the taste of her lips.

  He felt her hand grab his, pulling him away from the kitchen, a seductive and flirtatious look flashing on her face. Her delicate features seemed to stand out even more and he stood back for a moment, admiring and realizing just how truly blessed he was. How could a woman as perfect as Eva stay with and invest all this time in him? He probably would never understand why. She was too good for him.

  “Shall we continue this in the bedroom?” Eva asked, guiding his hands to each side of her body.

  They got there slowly and Michael pushed her against the wall, her back up against him as he moved her hair aside. He continued to kiss her neck, the pace growing quicker as she leaned in to his embrace. His hands worked at her clothing. Cupping one of her breasts, he felt her body shiver against his as she let out a low murmur. Her breathing quickened when his hand slipped inside her jeans.

  Guiding her to the bed, he lay down beside her, their kisses more deep, their touches causing them both more arousal than just seconds before. She aided in helping him pull his shirt over his head. Being there with her, having every inch of her body under him, and seeing the pleasure on her face as they made love was exactly what Michael needed to get over this day and erase it from his memory. Most importantly, he wanted to make sure Eva was satisfied. Their bodies moved together rhythmically and each time she spoke his name, he felt himself desiring her more.

  After they both finished, he kept her body close to his. Their legs were wrapped together under the sheets and he couldn’t think of a better place to be at that moment. Her face was buried in his chest and her warm breath was comforting against his skin. Neither spoke a word, but so much was being said. He felt his body relaxing, and within a matter of a few minutes, he was on the verge of restful sleep.

  ***

  A few days had passed since Michael’s near relapse. He had gone to work and did things to get his mind on something other than the bad meeting with Viper. He had even made sure to tell Dr. Bowen that it didn’t work and that it was likely that he wouldn’t arrange another visit. No one knew about the bottle of whiskey except Eva, and Michael was one hundred percent certain that it would stay that way. Even though he trusted her, he still felt embarrassed about his break down.

  “So, are we just going to stay with your mom tonight, since we fly out in the morning?” Eva had a couple of suitcases sprawled out on the bed and their clothes were everywhere.

  “Might as well. It’ll save time in us not having to go pick her up, and Queens is pretty close to La Guardia too.” He threw a couple pairs of socks into one of the suitcases and got a look from Eva that could probably kill him. Shrugging, he threw in another pair. “What’s the look for?” He knew exactly why. He just wanted to get a rise out of her.

  “You’re upsetting my system.”

  Scoffing, he pointed out the clothes in piles. “System? It looks like a damn tornado hit the place. I should’ve said yeah, we need to stay with my mom because I’m not quite sure where the bed went.” He smirked at her, unsure if she was in a joking mood or not.

  “Bite me, Mikey. If it weren’t for me, you’d just throw all your crap in and forget a million things. And then you’d just blame me when we get down there and you realize you’re missing your razor, or your underwear, or God knows what else.”

  “You women and your packing. You act like we’re going away from civilization for ten years! Pack me a couple pairs of jeans, a few shirts, and I’ll be good to go.” He tossed another sock in and she slapped his arm. “You know what? I think I’m just gonna go sit in the living room and watch the ball game. I’ll leave you to it, miss packing system lady.”

  She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and flashed him an annoyed smile. “Finally, you’re catching on. Get your ass outta here before I kick it.”

  “That a promise?” Michael arched his eyebrow and spoke over his shoulder as he left her alone. He was never a good packer. Now he had to impatiently wait for Casey’s phone call again. It was just to touch base on flight times and rides to and from the airport. Despite all of the mixed emotions about the trip, Michael had a good feeling that it would reassure everything and he’d have a whole new attitude when they came back to the city. For once since planning it all, he felt great about it.

  Michael must have fallen asleep, because he heard Eva yelling at him, telling him the packing was finished and that they should probably head to Queens. It felt like he had just sat down to watch the game. Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was after six PM. Eva was lugging the suitcases down the hallway, trying not to look like she was struggling.

  He reached out to help and she scowled at him. “No sir, I got this. I did it all and I’m not going to let you step in and take the credit at the very end.”

  Michael backed away and held his hands up. “Sorry. Don’t forget though, I did throw a couple of socks in.”

  “I think we should just call a cab to your mom’s place. I really don’t feel like dealing with the subway right now.” She leaned the luggage near the door and pulled her hair back away from her face. The look on her face showed vulnerability and it made Michael laugh. “What, Mikey? Why are you staring at me?”

  Moving toward her, he pulled her in close and nipped at her neck. Her skin was smooth and salty against his lips. “You’re so cute when you’re flustered.”

  Pushing him away, she walked back toward the bedroom. “That nap must’ve done you some good. Get ready. I want to get to your mom’s and settle in. I’m exhausted.”

  Michael hurled himself on the bed and buried his head in the pillows. “Maybe you ought to lay down here with me and relax a bit. You seem stressed. Come on.” He bobbed his head in his direction. “I’ll help you relax.”

  Eva shook her head and her expression was enough for Michael to know that she wasn’t in the mood. “I’ll relax at your mom’s. Get up and call a cab. This is the worst part of traveling. I don’t want to hear any complaining from you if I forgot to pack something.”

  Shrugging, Michael got up, stretched out, and grabbed his cell phone. “I tried to help, miss bossy.”

  ***

  Due to the anticipation of seeing Casey for the f
irst time in months, the flying, and everything in between, Michael didn’t sleep well that night. They were all three waiting at the gate for their flight. They had a connection in Dallas, which made no sense. Michael reviewed the information on his ticket for the one-hundredth time. They still had about forty-five minutes to burn and there were airport bars in every direction.

  “Mikey, sit still.” His mom placed her hand on his knee and he didn’t even realize he had been bouncing his leg up and down until she did that. “What’s the problem?”

  He sat back in the chair and watched the scrolling marquee above the gate. It gave the flight number, the destination, and the current weather in Dallas. It was a scorching one hundred and six degrees there, compared to the upper seventies in New York.

  “Nothing. Just ready to get there.” He had checked the weather several times and prepared himself for the worst heat he had ever experienced in his life. Casey had warned them about it as well, and Eva double-checked to make sure they had sunscreen and appropriate clothing. He was excited about it, but at the same time, he was almost sure he would be miserable. He had been to Texas one time before when he was younger. They were not in the midst of one of the worst droughts in their history when he had been there. This would be a whole new thing to see.

  “Well, go for a walk or something. You’re driving me insane.” His mother peered over her reading glasses.

  “Nah, I’m good. Sorry.” Truthfully, he didn’t want to leave them and face the temptations of the bars. There was one adjacent to their sitting area, but with both Eva and her there, he wouldn’t even think to walk in that direction. He stared at the groups of people sitting and sipping on the poison, unable to help the fact that he felt jealous.

  “American Airlines announces the first boarding call for flight two twenty eight to Dallas Fort Worth International.”

  They were one of the first groups to get on and Michael allowed Eva the window seat. Usually, he avoided the middle seat, but took it to appease both of them. In just a few short hours they would personally get to witness the drought that was ravishing the south. Most importantly, he could finally quench his curiosity in seeing his little brother. He would know instantly how Casey’s well-being was just by his presence.

  He loved how excited Eva got when they took off. She had voiced many times that she loved to fly. After they were allowed to, Michael put in his ear buds, leaned back, and tried to catch up on sleep. Before he knew it, they were making their connection flight to Austin. The flight time was only forty-five minutes, so he called Casey before they took off, ensuring that they’d have a ride ready when they landed.

  He leaned over Eva to look out and see the parched land below. A smoky haze blanketed beneath them, hindering much of the visibility. From what he could tell, the fires were a lot more widespread than the news in New York had led them to believe. He had this horrible mental image that the entire state was burning, but of course, that wasn’t the case at all. The problem was that where it was burning, it was spreading as if the ground was made of gasoline, and there were towns in the burn path. He remembered Texas being lush, green, and breathtaking. While it still held a lot of its beauty, it was horrible seeing it in such desperate need for rain.

  “We picked a hell of a summer to come down here,” he replied.

  “Just imagine if you were that type of firefighter, out there in the wild, fighting the winds and the drought,” Eva said.

  “I’m not sure I’d even know where to begin. Dangle me over a high rise any day.” There were pros and cons to each type of firefighting. He just preferred sticking to what he knew, as those down there on the ground battling the wildfires probably thought the same thing.

  Chapter Six

  Michael grew impatient as people took their time getting off of the plane. He felt like he was meeting Casey for the first time. He forced a smile at a lady and a young boy who were taking their dear sweet time in moving up the aisle toward the exit.

  “Good thing we don’t have to make another connection. We wouldn’t make it to the damn gate,” Michael muttered as he pulled their carry on bag from the overhead compartment.

  His mother lightly slapped his shoulder. “What’s your hurry? We’re still gonna have to wait a long time for our luggage anyway.”

  “I’m just ready to see him.” He handed Eva her duffel bag.

  “Is he here at the airport?” Eva asked as they finally got to the jet way and out of the plane, the flight attendants thanking them for choosing their company, and to enjoy their stay in Austin.

  “He said he rode with the driver. I didn’t think he’d be allowed to leave the facility, but I guess he got to.”

  Michael could feel the outside heat through the tunnel that led them to the terminal. He checked his phone and the weather was reporting one hundred and eight along with a red flag warning that wasn’t helping the fire departments at all. He had never heard about red flag warnings and Googled it the night before they left New York. It meant high winds and static in the air were all the ingredients needed to spark up open land.

  He got a text message from Casey informing him that they were waiting at baggage claim. His heart skipped a beat and he found his pace quicken as he weaved through people, all engrossed in their own destinations that they didn’t even care that he bumped in to a few of them.

  “Mikey, slow down!”

  Eva’s yelling reminded him that he had two other people with him. Slowly turning around, he tried not to show that he was slightly annoyed. “Hurry up. He said he’s at baggage claim.”

  “Yeah, and he’s not going anywhere, so there’s no need to break into an all out sprint,” his mom replied. “You gotta remember that I’m an old woman.”

  Baggage claim felt like it was miles away, but when they got there, Michael slowed down, almost to a complete stand still when he saw Casey standing off to the side, two other men with him. He did a double take to make sure that it was his little brother, shocked at how different he looked since the last time Michael had seen him. He had gained some weight and looked like he had been working out. The color was back in his complexion.

  Casey spotted them and waved. “Well hello there, you guys! How was the flight down?”

  Their mom hugged him and wiped a tear away from the corner of her eye. “It was good, hon. You look amazing!”

  Michael hugged him next and when he pulled him in, his brother felt solid, not like a weak drug addict who hadn’t eaten in days. “They must have some good cooking around here ‘cause damn, Case, you’re looking real good.”

  Casey ducked his head. “Aw hell, I guess that’s what happens when you actually eat and have a place to work out. Turning into a damn gym rat.”

  “You guys are making him blush!” Eva replied, finally getting through to hug him as well.

  “Eva, my darling! As stunning as ever!”

  Pulling away, Eva laughed as she studied him. “Darling? I think he’s crossed over. He’s becoming a Texan.”

  Within a matter of seconds, Michael’s nervousness dissipated. He couldn’t remember the last time they had been together, and a happy occasion at that. Through all of Casey’s attempts at rehab and being clean, this was the first time that he actually even looked better. In the times before he had never gained weight, appeared healthy, or even smiled as much as he was at that moment. The emotions were a wonderful euphoria that Michael didn’t want to end.

  It was also the first time he had seen his mother so relaxed. She never did admit it out loud, but he knew she was even more hesitant and scared than he was about seeing how Casey truly was doing. Already, they knew that this time felt different and actually was.

  He noticed their bags coming down the conveyor belt and grabbed them before they passed by. They were led outside to an SUV that had an Austin Recovery business logo on the side door. Casey introduced the other two men as Gary and Todd. Todd was his counselor and to help with comparisons, said he was a lot like a sponsor in Alcoholics Anonymo
us programs.

  The drive wasn’t too long, and took them on the outskirts of Austin. It was refreshing to travel and not see high-rise buildings everywhere. Trees and hills were a pleasant view, and though in some places traffic was bad, it was nothing near what they saw in New York.

  They pulled down the road that housed all the patients in the Austin Recovery program, and if a person didn’t know where they were or where they were going, it could easily have been mistaken for a nice resort. Trees lined the road and the grass was green, masking any sign of the drought they were experiencing. They pulled the vehicle into a nearby parking lot next to a building that looked like several condos lined up. The whole time, Michael couldn’t help but notice how enthusiastic Casey was as he pointed out things along the way. He was proud of the place and it was the best feeling in seeing him have a purpose and do something fulfilling.

  “I understand why you don’t wanna leave, man, this place looks awesome.” Michael said as they got out. There was a small hint of smoke in the air. “How close is the nearest fire to here right now?”

  Casey pulled their luggage out of the back and shrugged. “Last I heard, there was one over near Bastrop, which is about thirty minutes from here.”

  “Yeah, that’s the one I kept hearing about on the news.”

  “You should go talk to some of the departments around here. Most of the people fighting the fires are just with volunteer departments. It hasn’t been a good situation.”

  Michael scoffed. “What the hell am I supposed to talk to them about? It’s a whole different type of firefighting.”