Shameless With Him

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  Shameless WIth Him

  A Less Than Novel

  Carrie Ann Ryan

  Contents

  Shameless With Him

  Shameless With Him

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Epilogue

  A Note from Carrie Ann Ryan

  About the Author

  Also from Carrie Ann Ryan

  Shameless With Him

  A Less Than Novel

  By: Carrie Ann Ryan

  © 2020 Carrie Ann Ryan

  ISBN: 978-1-947007-80-2

  * * *

  Cover Art by Charity Hendry

  Photograph by Wander Photography

  * * *

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person or use proper retail channels to lend a copy. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return it and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  All characters in this book are fiction and figments of the author’s imagination.

  Praise for Carrie Ann Ryan

  “Carrie Ann Ryan knows how to pull your heartstrings and make your pulse pound! Her wonderful Redwood Pack series will draw you in and keep you reading long into the night. I can’t wait to see what comes next with the new generation, the Talons. Keep them coming, Carrie Ann!” –Lara Adrian, New York Times bestselling author of CRAVE THE NIGHT

  “Carrie Ann Ryan never fails to draw readers in with passion, raw sensuality, and characters that pop off the page. Any book by Carrie Ann is an absolute treat.” – New York Times Bestselling Author J. Kenner

  "With snarky humor, sizzling love scenes, and brilliant, imaginative worldbuilding, The Dante's Circle series reads as if Carrie Ann Ryan peeked at my personal wish list!" – NYT Bestselling Author, Larissa Ione

  "Carrie Ann Ryan writes sexy shifters in a world full of passionate happily-ever-afters." – New York Times Bestselling Author Vivian Arend

  “Carrie Ann’s books are sexy with characters you can’t help but love from page one. They are heat and heart blended to perfection.” New York Times Bestselling Author Jayne Rylon

  Carrie Ann Ryan's books are wickedly funny and deliciously hot, with plenty of twists to keep you guessing. They'll keep you up all night!” USA Today Bestselling Author Cari Quinn

  "Once again, Carrie Ann Ryan knocks the Dante's Circle series out of the park. The queen of hot, sexy, enthralling paranormal romance, Carrie Ann is an author not to miss!" New York Times bestselling Author Marie Harte

  To J.

  Thanks for being my friend in every country we met. And for making such an impression I just had to write you into a book.

  Shameless With Him

  New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Carrie Ann Ryan completes a sexy contemporary series with an unrequited crush on the bad boy next door.

  Caleb Carr might have once been ready for commitment, but when the unexpected slams into him with the force of a two-ton truck, he knows he has to run away from anything that might be important. Zoey might well be his final temptation, but to keep her whole, he’ll walk away.

  Zoey Wager has loved Caleb since they were eight. And has had her heart broken from afar repeatedly ever since. It doesn’t help that every time she sees him—even when she’s running away halfway across the world—he’s with another woman. She’s watched him fall in lust her entire life. Now, she’s ready to watch him fall in love. With her.

  Shameless With Him

  A Less Than Novel

  By

  Carrie Ann Ryan

  Chapter 1

  Zoey

  Zoey & Caleb – Age 8

  Hawaii was everything. I mean, where else on Earth could you wear a grass skirt and go to a pig roast, where they gave you pretty flowers to wear? I loved it here, and I never wanted to go home.

  We’d been in Hawaii for four days, and I knew we needed to go to the airport tomorrow. I didn’t care. All I wanted to do was play in the sand and the waves today, and my mom was finally letting me do it. We’d had to stay away from the beach for most of the trip because Lacey hadn’t been feeling well, even though the doctors said the cancer was gone.

  I rubbed my hip, remembering the big needle that had made me throw up. My mom said I wouldn’t have a scar from giving my little sister my bone marrow, and I didn’t know if she’d lied to me or not. She lied to me lots of times, though. Like when she said it wouldn’t hurt. And that Lacey would get all better because I had to go through the procedure, too.

  It had taken Lacey forever to get better, and my mom still watched her every move and wouldn’t let me do fun things because she was afraid I’d get hurt, too. Sometimes, I thought Mom only cared about me because I could help Lacey, then I remembered the times it was just our time and no one else’s. When we’d plant flowers and then put together pretty vases with the flowers we cut later.

  Mom was up in the room with Lacey now. Today was all about me and Dad. We wouldn’t stay long since I didn’t want them to be sad they weren’t outside, but for now, I got to play in the waves. Finally.

  Sand tickled my feet, and I looked over at Daddy.

  “Having fun, Z-baby?”

  I smiled wide. I wasn’t a baby, Lacey was the baby. Though I liked being Daddy’s baby sometimes. “I love it. Thank you.”

  He looked sad for a moment, then he smiled back at me before he turned and jumped into a wave. I laughed. I loved swimming and followed him into the ocean, letting the waves slap into my back, trying not to drink too much salty water.

  There were other kids around us, all of them laughing and playing with each other rather than their families. I wanted this time with Daddy.

  Then someone slammed into my back, and I slipped. Sand smacked into my face, and water surrounded me. I twisted and turned, trying to get up. I couldn’t find the top of the water. My heart beat fast, and I tried to put my feet on the ground. I didn’t know where it was.

  Before I could scream or think about anything other than the burn in my eyes, hands were on my shoulders, lifting me up. I coughed and sputtered, trying to wipe at my face. Another wave hit me, but the hands never let go.

  “Are you okay? Wait. Zoey?”

  I blinked away the saltwater and looked into the eyes of Caleb Carr. Caleb? “What are you doing here?” I blurted.

  “Rescuing you, of course. I didn’t know your family was going to be in Hawaii, too.”

  Caleb went to school with me, and I loved him. Not that I’d ever say that out loud. I totally loved him and knew that one day I would marry him. He was everything I loved in a boy. With that sweet smile, big, blue eyes, and hair he always flipped back that made him look so cool. Once, he’d even shaved the sides to make a kind of mohawk. The teachers weren’t happy, though Caleb and his family hadn’t cared. I’d loved it, because I’d loved him then, too.

  Now, this was officially the most perfect vacation ever. I had the ocean, sand, and Caleb Carr.

  “We came because Lacey isn’t sick anymore.”

  Caleb’s mouth turned down a bit in a frown, and I wanted to kick myself for bringing up Lacey. No one liked talking about sick ki
ds, even if you were a kid. Caleb let go of my shoulders as the waves slapped into our sides.

  “I’m glad.” He paused. “Anyway, sorry that Laura almost drowned you. She screamed when she saw a fish and hit you.”

  “Laura?”

  He nodded towards the shore, and I looked over at the girl in the pretty pink bathing suit currently staring at me and Caleb like I was evil.

  “She’s here on vacation, too. She’s from England.” Caleb’s mouth tipped up in a little smile that I hated.

  Hated it because it wasn’t for me.

  No, it was for some girl named Laura.

  “Zoey? Are you okay? Damn it, Zoey, don’t go off with strangers.” Daddy pulled me towards him and away from Caleb, and it was all I could do to keep from blushing. As Laura waved at Caleb from the shore, and he nodded at me before going to her, I told myself I was okay. Just fine.

  I wasn’t.

  Because today was only the first time Caleb Carr would fall for someone who wasn’t me. I knew it deep down in my heart, I knew this wouldn’t be the last.

  * * *

  Zoey & Caleb – Age 15

  I wasn’t sure I was a fan of camping. However, I was a fan of s’mores. I bit into the chocolatey gooey mess and moaned around the graham cracker.

  “Good?” Dad asked.

  I nodded, taking my final bite before going about licking my fingers one by one. There was no point in wasting the goodness with a napkin just yet.

  “Want another?”

  I shook my head before taking a sip of my soda so I could wash down the deliciousness. “I’m good. Any more sugar, and I’ll probably end up having to roll myself down to the lake later for the show.”

  “There’s going to be music, right? I love music.” Lacey leaned into my shoulder, and I shifted so she could have more room. She wiggled a bit and sighed as she nuzzled into my side.

  “That’s what the director said when we checked into the campsite,” Mom answered, looking down at her folder that never seemed to leave her side, not even when we were hiking in the woods for most of the day. If there was something to plan, schedule, or fix, my mom would have it color-coded within the hour. Dad said she’d always been that way but had gotten even more so when Lacey was sick.

  Now, my sister was better—I crossed my fingers even as the thought flitted across my mind—and Mom was just as detail-oriented as ever. The fact that she was doing her best to use those skills to help me get into the best colleges even though I was only a sophomore might be nice, except it also stressed me out, so I wasn’t going to think about it too much.

  We watched the flames for a bit longer, then after Dad had doused the campfire, we headed down for the show as a family. It was nice for it to be the four of us since, most of the time, we didn’t have the time to hang out and just be.

  “Mom, can we sit over there?” Lacey asked, tugging on Mom’s sleeve and stepping in front of me at the same time. I didn’t mind since I had my eyes on something—no, someone—in the distance.

  “Sure, honey,” Mom said, looking over at me, though I couldn’t really focus on her words. “Zoey?”

  I blinked, tearing my gaze from the shadowy figure across the way near the lake, the one that couldn’t be real because I couldn’t be that unlucky.

  “I’m going down there, okay? I think I see someone from school.”

  “Mom,” Lacey whined, clearly tired from the day. I didn’t blame her. We’d been going full-speed all day, and she didn’t have the best stamina. “We’re going to miss those seats and the best view.”

  “Okay, okay.” Mom looked at me. “Be safe, and only ten minutes, all right? You understand me?”

  I nodded, a little surprised that she was letting me go off alone. Of course, there were adults all around, and this particular campsite was filled with people from our neighborhood since this was a planned trip. Mom knew practically everyone here, so I was sure she felt confident that there would always be eagle eyes on me.

  I kept going to where I had seen the shadow, my heart racing. I did my best to discreetly wipe my mouth, hoping I didn’t have chocolate on my face.

  “Zoey-girl?” Caleb Carr asked, coming out of the shadows. He had a wide grin on his face, and his eyes were dark. That lock of his hair that always fell over his eyes did wonderful things to my stomach.

  Every time I was near Caleb, I lost the ability to speak. I couldn’t help it. He just did things to me. Plus, he called me Zoey-girl. It wasn’t too original. Nevertheless, it was a nickname. That meant he knew me. He saw me. It totally counted as everything. Right?

  “Hi, Caleb. I didn’t know your family was here.”

  He nodded. “Dimitri is even here somewhere. Drinking beer since he’s allowed to now.”

  “Really?” I asked, trying to keep my heart in check.

  “Yep. He turned twenty-one and is lording it over us.” Caleb just shrugged. “Well, mostly Devin since he’s closer to that age. You know?”

  “At least you’ll reach that before Amelia does,” I said, mentioning his younger sister.

  “She’ll be last at everything. Though she’ll always gripe about it.” He shrugged. “How’s Lacey doing?”

  He asked the question because he knew what we’d gone through. He didn’t have pity in his voice like so many others, though. And that was just one more reason I loved him.

  Argh.

  “She’s doing great. She’s here.” I gestured vaguely over my shoulder to where my family was. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him, though, so I hoped I was facing the right way.

  “Good. I’m glad you guys are all here. I know you haven’t been able to do this every year with the rest of the neighborhood.”

  I warmed all over, my mouth ready to say something, anything. Only as soon as I parted my lips, another voice filled the air.

  “Caleb.” A giggle. Then an arm slid around Caleb’s trim waist, and a slender hand slipped into his front pocket. He looked down. Amber, the gorgeous honor roll student in our class with the perfect body, the sweet attitude, and now…the ideal guy.

  My guy. At least in my imagination.

  I could feel myself deflate like a balloon, even as Caleb wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, his hand resting on her hip as if they’d done this a thousand times before. And maybe they had.

  “Hey, babe. You know Zoey, right?”

  Amber’s eyes brightened. “Mrs. Tanner’s chemistry class, right? You sat near the front, I think.”

  I swallowed hard, my fingers playing with the edge of my shorts. “That’s me. Hi, Amber.”

  “It’s great to see you, Zoey. We’re headed to our spot on the shore to watch the show. Want to join us?”

  I really wanted to hate her. Really wanted to hate myself for continually having this crush on a guy who had a different girl every time I saw him. In every place I saw him, even if we weren’t anywhere near school. I couldn’t do any of that. So, instead, I shook my head, only looking at Amber and keeping my gaze off Caleb. I didn’t want him to see. I never wanted him to see.

  “I have to get back to my parents, but I just wanted to say hi.” Another pause. “So, hi.”

  Though I didn’t see pity on Amber’s face—she knew. She knew about my crush. It had to be written all over my face. Only she didn’t lay her claim on Caleb. Didn’t act as if she were catty and mean and wanted me away. She just held him like she always could. And, maybe, for however long she had Caleb, she could.

  She didn’t make me feel small. Unseen.

  That was all on me.

  And Caleb Carr.

  Because even at eight and fifteen, I couldn’t get out of the way of my crush. And every time I saw him, he was with another girl.

  I really needed to get over my feelings for Caleb.

  No matter what my gooey heart said.

  * * *

  Zoey & Caleb – Age 19

  My fake ID had worked, and as my head swam and my friends giggled into their drinks, I k
new I wasn’t going to use it ever again.

  Ever. Again.

  My fingers were numb, and my ankles hurt from my high heels.

  I didn’t like being drunk, and I didn’t know why I’d let myself get this way at all. It was Kyla’s birthday, and we were celebrating. Only now, Kyla and Kayti were off with two guys they’d met, and I was standing by the bar, my shoes too tight, and the third guy of that trio with his hands on my butt.

  “I should go home,” I tried to say, only it sounded garbled like I couldn’t speak as I should. How many shots had the guys bought us? Damn it. This was stupid. I knew this was stupid, but my head hurt, and I just wanted to go to bed.

  “I’ll get you home, baby,” the guy whispered, his breath on my neck. Bile slid up my throat, and I pushed the guy off. Matt? Yes, Matt was his name.

  “I’m okay. I’m going to get a cab.” I got my purse and tried to walk to my friends, who were currently in the booth making out with their guys.

  “They’re busy, baby. I’ll get you home.”

  I ignored him. “Kyla?”

  “Hey, girl,” Kyla said, giggling. “Happy birthday to me! Are you going home with Matt?” She wasn’t whispering, though everyone in the bar was dancing and drunk, so no one cared what she said.

  “No, I’m going home. Are you okay?”

  She nodded. “We’re fine. You should go home with Matt.”