by Renee Travis
"Never say that," he rasped coming a few inches closer, "I will not let you die."
I frowned at him, why wouldn’t he come over and touch me? I stilled as I thought that maybe I already smelled like death and it was appalling to him. Finally the tears arrived. They began to run down my face, overflowing from my eyes in thin silent streams.
"Just think now I won't get older while you stay young, you won't have to worry about hurting my feelings when you decided to trade me in for a newer model."
I realized my mistake in teasing him instantly. Julian's eyes went red and he launched himself at me, his cold hands gripped my arms. He pulled me to his chest, growling, his words deep and harsh,
"Rhodanthe be quiet! I love you; stop trying to make this funny!"
I nodded into his chest; locked in his embrace I felt grief. I wasn't afraid to die, but I didn't want to leave Julian. He'd have forever to mourn me and it wasn't fair. I loved him and it was new and fresh and it was so wrong that just as someone truly loved me for me I had to leave.
"I'm sorry, I don't want to leave you baby."
"Then don't, let me turn you." Julian whispered in my hair.
We both stiffened at the same time, I hadn't actually thought he'd ask me. I hadn't expected him to offer, it had been the furthest thing from my mind and I didn't know how to react. So I stayed still, waiting for him to speak.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked, it's selfish."
"Would you like that? To turn me?" I asked.
"I love you, I want to be with you always and the thought of losing you kills me." Julian groaned, lifting my chin so he could kiss me. His mouth was hot against mine; he stole my breath and gave it back sweeter than before. His tongue explored every inch of me until we were both trembling.
"Oh yes Julian I’d love to," I whispered as the kiss ended.
"Yes?" His eyes were wide and I could see how nervous he was.
"Yes! Yes! Now, whenever!" I exclaimed. My heart monitors began to beep and he blew on my face so I would quiet down before the nurses came to check on me.
"Not until after your birthday and your early Christmas love." Julian nuzzled my neck, lips caressing my skin.
"But why not?" I sighed into his embrace.
"We’ll have to fake your death and move away my darling, that's the only safe way; your parents can never know," Julian lifted his head and I could tell he was upset.
"Is that," I gulped, "the only way?" He nodded yes and I bit my lip.
"Well it's either death or undead so the choice is easy. I'll miss my family and friends I'm sure, but I'll still be with you." I closed my eyes and lay back against my pillows. Julian crawled in next to me. It was a tight fit but it worked.
"Is this what a coffin feels like?" I asked.
"I don't know, I've never been in one." Julian shrugged, arms snaking around me, hands playing with whatever skin they could find.
"Huh?" I asked, turning my head to look at him. Weren't vampires supposed to sleep in coffins?
"Yeah, my creator made sure I wasn't buried," Julian kissed my nose. "Plus silly Rose the vampires in my family sleep in beds."
"You've never told me." I pouted.
"Now's as good a time as any, but first you must promise me something," Julian had a mischievous glint in his eyes.
"And that would be?"
"Once you are undead you marry me."
"What!"
"I want you to be my wife, it's simple enough."
"Oh yes! Julian I never thought I'd get to fall in love, let alone get married!" I was blushing a deep crimson. I thought I'd be dead way before any man could even get past my mother to love me let alone marry me.
"There can never be children." Julian warned me. Our eyes met and I saw how much it pained him to tell me that.
"There never could have been. Once I....became a woman it was the first thing my doctor told me. Even if I lived long enough to have sex and get married my heart would give out under the strain of pregnancy." I was speaking softly; the subject had always been a touchy one.
"I am sorry my love. But I am glad you are going to marry me." There was still question in his voice.
"Yes, of course. Now tell me your story." I really wanted to hear it.
"Okay then," Julian kissed each of my eyes closed and I listened.
"I was a knight in the crusades; I followed King Richard and his men in the search for the Holy Grail. I wasn't particularly religious, but for young men of my time it was either join the army or get married and raise children. Neither was really interesting for me but I wanted to see some of the world at least."
I opened my eyes to watch him tell his story.
"While we were there, poking our nose into what truly was none of our business I was badly wounded. We had been ambushed in an alley way. I was the only one of my group conscious; we were lying, arrow ridden in the streets. I can't remember how long I lay there when this woman came by. She was thin and not really beautiful but there was something about her. I watched her for a time wondering what she was doing among the dead."
I could tell there was something kind of horror coming up because Julian paused and watched me to make sure I wasn't getting squeamish.
"When I realized what was going on I wanted to retch. Some of my friends were still alive, but barely and she was drinking their blood, letting their life flow away as her dinner. When she reached me I was trembling in fright. She noticed that I was still very much alive but wounded and gave me a stereotype speech about whether I wanted to live or die. Of course I wanted to live."
She sounded like a bad B rated movie vampire, "so she turned you?"
"Yes, she did, and she kept me with her until Loretta killed her. She wasn't a very good vampire, she preyed on the weak, the old, the young and the sick. I was glad to be rid of her. However if not for her I wouldn't be with you." Julian framed my face with his hands and kissed me again, deeply and full of love.
He fell asleep before me and I was a little surprised, but then again he'd looked like he hadn't slept in all the days I had been in the hospital. I stayed awake thinking about being a vampire, a wife and best of all....healthy.
Chapter 13
The night of my birthday I sat on the couch and watched my whole family decorate. I was wrapped in a thick dark red blanket. Mom, dad and I had set up the tree that morning and put on all the ornaments. It was so pretty, standing in the corner near the staircase, all green, silver and gold. There were store bought ornaments and handmade ones hanging from the branches.
A fire was crackling in the fireplace giving warmth and the beautiful smell of cedar, soft Christmas music was piping through the speakers and I swayed a little with the tune. Glancing down at my hands I shuddered. My skin was paper thin and pale; each blue vein looked like I'd drawn on my skin with turquoise marker.
I could smell my cake baking in the oven, real chocolate, I was excited to eat it since I hadn't had real chocolate cake in two years. I heard mom chatting with Loretta as the two women cooked and prepared food for my party in the kitchen. Dad and Mel were hanging streamers of purple and pink all around me while Julian and Avalon were bringing out presents and setting them around the tree.
Occasionally someone would look at me and in their eyes reflected sadness and false glee or restlessness and anxiety. Antoinette sat on the couch next to me, she was in charge of making sure I was comfortable and didn't exert myself, I really couldn't tell if she was upset or interested in the task assigned to her. She watched me like a hawk so at least she was taking it seriously.
"There, done, what do you think Rose?" dad asked.
"It's beautiful! Perfect," I told him. There was a slight sheen of tears in his eyes and I looked away, I couldn't handle it and I didn't want them to be sad.
He climbed down off the ladder and went with Mel into the kitchen, I glared back down at my hands; it was just easier if no one really saw me. If I didn’t look directly at anyone they could pretend I wasn’t really
there. I had wanted to stay in my room until everything was finished but all of them complained about it. So Julian had carried me downstairs, dad and he pretty much had to carry me everywhere.
Hearing a deep scratching noise, I glanced back up, Mel and dad were setting up and big white table and putting a lavender table cloth on it.
"What's that for?" I asked.
"Mom and Loretta are bringing the food out; you want to go help, Antoinette?" Dad grunted the words as he had a little difficulty with one of the legs. Mel met my gaze and we tried not to laugh.
Antoinette jumped off the couch and was in the kitchen almost before I could blink.
"Sorry about her, she will come around," Julian bent over the couch and kissed my cheek. "How are you feeling?"
"Tired and hungry, but OK," I turned and kissed his lips. My heart was sluggishly beating in my chest and every breath was a struggle. He knew that and the worry creased his beautiful face. Even though he knew I wasn't going to have a permanent death he was freaked about the pain I was in and how I looked.
"Food!" Loretta sang as she entered the room bringing two trays with her. She carried deviled eggs and little bologna sandwiches.
"Punch!" Antoinette's deep voice called as she placed beside the food a large punch bowl full of some sort of bubbling pink liquid.
"Okay, we're not bringing out the cake right now, but I've got Christmas cookies, chips and dip." Mom put her plates down too, she looked older but almost like the mom I missed. Her face and T-shirt were splattered with flour. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she was wearing a kiss the cook apron over her jeans.
"Presents?" I asked, mouth watering at all the food.
"While we eat Rhodanthe," mom tried for a big happy grin but only managed a lopsided small one.
My parents and Mel made up plates while everyone else grabbed punch and one or two things for the pretense of eating. Avalon brought me a plate and punch; they set up a tray table next to me so I wouldn't have to hold anything.
After everyone was situated around me, Mel started handing me presents. There weren't a lot. Because I was going to die I had told everyone to only buy me one gift, no sense in them spending a ton of money on things that they thought were just going to be boxed up and given to charity in three weeks. I also specified that they were not to open their presents from me until Christmas morning. That way it would be as if I was there with them still. Mom had cried at this announcement, but it was rare now these days when she didn't.
My vampire family didn't look as sad as the mortal ones, but they were all still restless and anxious for the big event. They kept on the faces of people who were already mourning me, just as Mel, mom and dad were, but I knew that mostly they just didn't like seeing me in pain.
My first gift was from Mel. It was wrapped in the funnies section of the news paper and laughter bubbled out from my throat.
"Yeah I know, too lazy to buy wrapping paper," Mel tapped her fingers on her thigh, impatient. "Just open the damn thing."
I ripped the newspaper off and had to take a moment before speaking. In a beautiful rose gold colored frame was a collage of the two of us over the years. The last picture was of her and me at Halloween.
"I don't know what to give a dead girl; but Killian told me that the Egyptians took pictures of their family and friends into the afterlife with them." Mel was struggling to keep herself in check. I could hear the sorrow in her voice so I leaned over and kissed her cheek, letting her blonde hair fall into my face.
"I love it, thank you," I murmured into her hair. She nodded quickly and pulled away. She wiped her eyes and swallowed, everyone else had gone quiet.
"C'mon, it's my birthday please...." I begged I didn't want this to turn into one big grief fest.
"OK, OK, here," Mel placed another gift in my lap.
It was a box swallowed by at least seven sheets of dark blue tissue paper with a note that told me the mess I was holding was from Avalon. Inside was a deep purple shawl; it was soft and lovely. I put it on, enjoying the feel of the fabric as it touched my neck.
"It's so pretty, thanks Avalon!" I exclaimed. The girl glowed with my praise and I wondered when the last time she bought someone a gift was.
"Here's ours, we couldn't wrap it," Loretta and Antoinette were standing by something rather large covered in a sheet. I raised an eyebrow wondering what it could possibly be. Antoinette lifted the sheet and we all shared a secret smile. It was a set of old fashioned luggage in red. I could tell my parents were confused by the gift, but they didn't say anything to be polite, but I knew later when everyone was gone they'd complain to me.
"Oooh! Nice! You guys are awesome," I told them, it would be helpful to pack the possessions I had deemed I couldn't be without. I was telling my parents I was giving some of my things away as gifts and to charity.
As mom got ready to give me her gift I was struck by the thought that they would grieve more for me than I would for any of them. I'd made my peace with the fact that I would die before mom, dad and Mel by the time my thirteenth birthday came around. And with that acceptance had come knowledge that I would leave them all behind. Dying had been the easy part to get over; knowing that all the people I loved would stay to mourn me. It had taken weeks of tear stained pillows and frantic diary entries to reach that stage of acceptance.
"Okay sweetheart, you told us only one present each so here," Mom reached into a dark green crate and pulled out a small orange kitten. I cried out in joy and raised my hands, itching to hold the tiny baby.
Mom set her in my lap, and it had to be a her since they adorned her with a purple flowered collar. She mewed up at me and licked my hand. Mel and Avalon came to kneel on each side of me; all of us took a few minutes to ooh and awe over Nora, yes that was what I named her. Her full name Lenore as I had always wanted to name a daughter Lenore. But that wasn't ever going to happen so why not give the name to my kitten, right?
"Oh Mama thank you!" I said, I was happy and I knew it was a big deal for her to break one of her biggest rules so I could be happy. She'd always been very big on no pet dander. Nothing, no mice, birds, not even a spider had been allowed in our house. I didn't like reptiles or fish and those were the only animals she'd have let me get.
It was dad's turn next. Julian wasn't giving me my present today, and he'd made a big fuss about it being a private thing.
"My gift has just arrived," Dad told me, he looked up and everyone turned as the front door opened.
"Where’s my Rose?" a voice called from behind me. I spun around and there in the foyer was my grandmother. She had braided black hair speckled with gray. Her eyes were like storms in her face, gray and sometimes I could swear there were streaks of gold. She was curvy and looked much younger than her 65 years. She was wearing a jean skirt, big fur boots and a tight black sweater.
I struggled to get up; dad put an arm around my waist and lifted me from the couch. Cradling me like he had when I was baby he took me to my grandma. I reached for her and with an unusually strong grip she pulled me from dad and held me to her.
I started to cry and clung to her like I had when I was small. I looked behind me briefly and frowned, my new family was stiff and all eerily staring at my Nana.
Confused I looked back at grandma; she had stopped fussing over me and was meeting the Daramonth's gaze.
No one else seemed to notice the tension that filled the room and I began to get the feeling I was missing something. What was going on? My grandma was the best person in the world. EVERYONE liked her. But the expression on Julian's face was not so nice. I looked at my Nana, she might have been happy to see me, but there was stress in her face too.
For the first time in years I really thought about Grandma Lacey. Did Julian and his family know something I didn't?
Nana was peculiar, always had been, but I just ignored it, so did dad. As she held me in her arms I noticed how strong and cool she felt. I tried to remember if she'd ever felt warm but couldn't. She always wore
long sleeves when I was with her.
She put me down, keeping an arm around me, but letting my feet touch the floor, I realized I was worrying about nothing, this was my grandmother! I was just being stupid and foolish, probably all the medication I was on.
Julian walked over and slowly held out a hand to me, his eyes were begging me to take it. Nana let go of me as I took the two steps into the protective circle of Julian's arms. My Nana had knowledge and despair in her eyes and I had a shock of realization.
"Why don't we leave them alone for a little bit," I was glad to hear mom's voice.
"Thank you Elizabeth," Grandma said, I was surprised at how polite she sounded, usually Grandma and Mom couldn't be in the same room without arguing.
As Mel walked past, she gave my grandmother a large hug, "Hey Nana Lacey, good to see you!"
"Oh! Little Melkins, you're so grown up!" Grandma exclaimed and kissed my best friend's cheek. When we were little we'd spent a week every summer at Grandma's ranch in Shasta.
Everyone but Julian, Nana and me went into the kitchen; Julian just glared her.
"Go along boy this is my granddaughter." Nana's voice was rich and deep, her accent very prominent.
"Doesn’t mean anything," my boyfriend growled.
I was completely taken off guard; Julian was never rude. "Julian! Behave this is my Nana! What's wrong with you?"
"I think I'll let her tell you," He swung me up and placed me on the couch, then, like everyone else, vanished into the kitchen.
"Well that was interesting, I am guessing you've decided to be turned instead of die?" Nana asked, sitting next to me.
Eyes wide my mouth opened and closed several times before I decided on just nodding, leaving the questions hanging between us.
"Oh darling, I've been a vampire for two hundred years. Honestly I've been planning on faking my own death for years now before anyone got suspicious. But I wasn't going to until I saw you or you died," she admitted her voice soft and strong.
"You're a vampire? Is that why Julian and his family were acting strange?" I wondered aloud. My grandmother, who used to bake me cookies and tell me fairy stories was a blood sucking member of the undead? Weird, but it did explain a lot. If I hadn't been so sick it might have shocked me more. As I thought about it I realized I had always assumed the peppermint scent of her and her breath had been because she always had gum and drank mint juleps. Plus it had been years since I had actually seen her. Now I noticed the metallic tinge underneath it.
