The One Real Regret

by Janet Nissenson

  Something flashed in his eyes, an expression that was both bleak and angry, but that just as quickly disappeared. He kissed her fingers tenderly, then held her palm against his cheek.

  “You are a wonder,” he said, his dark eyes looking a bit dazed. “A miracle. And what you’ve just done, Jill, what you’ve just given me, is the greatest gift I could have ever asked for. A gift I certainly don’t deserve, but that I somehow was given anyway.”

  “Same here,” she whispered, lifting her head off the pillow to kiss him softly on the lips.

  “I’ll be right back,” he assured her. “I just need to toss off this condom and bring back something to clean you up with.”

  She heard him padding barefoot into the bathroom, then the sound of running water. She was so tired, she realized all of a sudden, her face burrowing into the pillows as she began to curl up into a fetal position. She was barely aware of Max returning, already half asleep, and made a little groan of protest when he eased her onto her back.

  “I know you’re exhausted, love,” he told her comfortingly, “but just let me clean you up a bit, hmm?”

  “Okay,” she agreed, trying very hard not to feel shy at the thought of him washing her. “But I can do it.”

  Max chuckled. “Can you really? You don’t even have the strength to lift your head off that pillow. Relax, this will just take a second.”

  She winced a bit as the warm, damp washcloth passed between her tender thighs. “Is there - did I bleed?”

  “No, there’s not even a speck of blood. I think perhaps that old wives tale about virgins blood might be something of an exaggeration. Are you in any pain? I can get you a couple of Advil from the bathroom.”

  Jill yawned. “No pain, no Advil. Just sleep.”

  He laughed. “In a minute, Sleeping Beauty. I’m going to bring you your purse so you can text your roommates and let them know you’re spending the night with me. Unless,” he teased, “you already told them not to expect you home tonight.”

  Despite her exhaustion, she managed to smile. “I think they would be very, very disappointed in me if I hadn’t spent the night. But I guess you’re right, I should send them a quick text.”

  Max brought in her purse from the living room, and she sleepily retrieved her phone and began typing out a group text to her roommates.

  “Be sure to tell them,” murmured Max in voice that fairly throbbed with sensuality, “not to expect you home until the weekend is over with. And that you’ll have your phone turned off after tonight. After all,” he whispered as he pulled her close against his naked body, “your sexual education has barely begun, and there’s a whole lot more I intend to teach you.”

  Chapter Twelve

  She wasn’t sure what woke her, whether it was a noise from outside or the weak winter sunlight peeking in through the partially drawn drapes or some movement from the other occupant of the big king-sized bed. Whatever it was prompted Jill to open her eyes slowly, and with great reluctance. She was so warm and cozy at the moment, cocooned in the plush duvet with her face burrowed into the most comfortable pillow she’d ever slept on. The twin bed in her old bedroom in her grandmother’s house had been narrow and uninviting, with a hard, ancient mattress and a headboard that rattled annoyingly. And while the bed in the house she shared now with her roommates was much more comfortable, it still paled in comparison to this feather soft, oversized mattress she’d spent the night on, along with the high-end bed linens that must have cost the earth.

  Jill gave a full body stretch, arms and legs reaching in the opposite direction, and it was then she remembered that she was stark naked. She had never in her life slept without any clothes on, even during the hottest, most humid South Carolina night, when there hadn’t been the tiniest breeze to cool off her stifling little bedroom. Oh, she’d been tempted, of course, to yank off her cotton nightgown and toss back the bedcovers, but the fear of her grandmother finding her that way had been enough to quell that particular impulse. Since arriving in Seattle, she was hard pressed to remember a night when it had ever been warm enough to necessitate sleeping in the buff.

  But her present state of undress had nothing to do with the outside temperature, and everything to do with the equally naked man who slept peacefully beside her. Jill turned onto her side, propping herself up on one elbow, chin in hand, as she gazed in dazed disbelief at the mouthwatering sight before her eyes. Max’s dark hair was rumpled, and she noticed for the first time that it was a bit on the longish side, as though he might be overdue for a haircut. His cheeks and chin were darkly stubbled, even though she guessed he shaved every day. For a man he had unfairly long and thick eyelashes, she thought enviously.

  Instead of being snuggled up beneath the heavy weight of the duvet, Max had shoved the bedcovers to his waist, baring the entire upper half of his body to her very interested gaze. His sculpted arms and torso were far more muscular and defined than any of the college boys she’d briefly dated or flirted with. Most of them had been on the lean, almost skinny side, and none of them had made her mouth water at the very thought of touching all that hard, tanned flesh. Or pressing her lips to one of those flat brown male nipples, making her wonder if men were as sensitive there as women were – or, at least, as this woman was.

  His normally austere features had softened considerably in his sleep, and he looked younger this way, thought Jill, and certainly more vulnerable. The lines of stress and fatigue she’d spied on his face at different times this week were no longer visible, and she could tell by the gentle rise and fall of his chest that his sleep was a peaceful one. She could even swear that the corners of his mouth were tilted up slightly into a soft smile.

  If she had more experience at this sort of thing – or any experience, she thought wryly - then maybe she’d have the nerve to wake him up with a kiss, or to stroke her palm along his upper arm. And if she was really bold, she thought mischievously, she’d push the bedcovers off of him completely, and give him a real wake-up call, the kind she’d heard Casey and Shoshana describe in all too intimate detail. But since she simply didn’t have that kind of nerve, not to mention zero idea on how to actually give a blow job, Jill satisfied herself by continuing to gaze dreamily at the gorgeous man whose bed she presently occupied.

  She still couldn’t quite believe that last night had really happened, that she wasn’t still dreaming, even when she gave herself a little pinch to make sure she was fully awake. She’d hardly slept a wink on Thursday night in anticipation of the next evening, had been a bundle of nerves all day yesterday, and had barely been able to eat a thing, given how anxious she had felt at meeting Max. Casey had offered to meet her at the office so that she could help her get changed into the little black dress and do her makeup, but Jill had gently refused. As much as she would have loved her roommate’s assistance, the last thing she would have needed was any of Casey’s last minute advice about sex or flirting, or worse, to have the other girl stuff a supply of condoms in her bag like Shoshana had advised.

  Fortunately, since it had been a Friday, most of the employees had quit work a little early, so that by five o’clock the office had been a virtual ghost town. Max had been involved in offsite meetings again, another reason why he had sent a car service to pick her up, a circumstance Jill had actually been grateful for. As anxious as she’d been yesterday, the thought of running into him before their dinner date would have been more than she could have handled. She had been at her leisure, therefore, taking her time changing from her regular work clothes into the seriously sexy black dress, lingerie, and high heels, and then applying a modest amount of makeup. She’d stashed her work clothes into a desk drawer where she could pick them up on Monday.

  She’d been ready for more than a half hour before the car service arrived to pick her up, and had had to double check to make sure the elegant Mercedes sedan was really meant for her. For someone used to taking the bus or riding her bicycle or occasionally borrowing Shoshana’s clunky old
compact, the Mercedes was a real luxury, but one that she guessed Max more or less took for granted. She had wondered at the time if he’d been born into money, had always been accustomed to designer clothing, expensive cars, and fancy restaurants. It had only been his comment at dinner last night - the one about how dining at expensive restaurants had been a learning experience for him - that had made her reconsider what she’d assumed about his background. He was so sophisticated, spoke with such a beautifully cultured accent, and dressed like she would have expected a millionaire to do, that it was easy to imagine him always having been that way. But now she was curious as to the real truth about his background, what it had been like for him growing up in England, and what his family was like. It occurred to Jill that while she had more or less blurted out her life’s story to him over the last few days she still knew next to nothing about his - a circumstance that she fully intended to change sooner than later.

  Max groaned then, his dark head moving side to side on the pillow, as he slowly began to awaken. Those enviably thick eyelashes blinked several times before lifting, and a smile softened his features even more when he noticed Jill gazing down at him.

  He didn’t hesitate to pull her into his arms, crushing her breasts against his chest. “So I didn’t dream you,” he teased in a husky voice. “Did you sleep well?”

  She nodded, cuddling up against him in utter contentment. “Like a baby.”

  Max grimaced slightly. “Don’t remind me of the age difference between us, will you? If my friends knew about you - one friend in particular - they’d take great delight in calling me a cradle robber. And it wouldn’t matter in the least that Finn - the aforementioned friend - has been known to date college girls himself.”

  She kissed his chin impulsively. “And I already told you that I’m an old soul. I never had many friends my own age growing up, you know. Grandma was super picky about who I could hang out with. There was no way she was going to risk my turning out wild like my mother, so she insisted on meeting all of my friends, drove me to and from school every single day, and always kept track of my whereabouts. Needless to say, all of that overprotectiveness got to be pretty embarrassing by the time I entered high school, and most of my classmates thought I was some dorky weirdo with a crazy old grandmother.”

  He stroked her tangled hair soothingly. “You’re the least weird person I’ve ever met,” he assured her. “And very, very far from being - what did you call it - dorky. You’re lovely and smart and funny, and so easy to talk to that I tend to forget at times you’re so young. And last night - well, you looked confident and sophisticated and very, very womanly. Especially,” he added in a sexy whisper, “once all of your clothes were off.”

  Jill felt her cheeks grow hot, and was grateful she’d kept her face burrowed against his shoulder. “You, um, look awfully good without any clothes on, too. Not that I really had the chance to fully appreciate the sight.”

  Max chuckled. “We have all weekend, love. That is,” he added hastily, “if you’re free to spend it with me. I didn’t even ask if you had plans or needed to study.”

  She shook her head. “No plans, no. At least nothing specific. Though I suppose I should get some studying done for a few hours. I can take the bus to my place and get my laptop and notebooks, as well as some extra clothes. I, um, packed light.”

  His dark eyes twinkled merrily. “I assumed that. Fortunately, the hotel provides bathrobes so you won’t have to eat breakfast naked. Or wearing just those very fetching scraps of black lace you had on last night. Not, of course, that I’d be adverse to either of those possibilities. And as far as taking a bus is concerned, don’t be silly. We’ll get you a taxi or use the same car service as last night to bring you to and from your place. I’ll make some phone calls and do some other work while you’re gone.”

  If Jill was at all disappointed that he didn’t offer to accompany her, she made certain not to let on. ‘Besides,’ she reasoned, ‘do you really want to subject Max to the inquisition he’s sure to face if he meets the girls? You know how nosy Casey and Sho can be, so it’s better all around if you keep him to yourself for now.’

  “But all of that can wait for later,” Max insisted. “Much later. Right now I believe it’s customary to give your lover a good morning kiss.”

  “Oh, of course, I - mmm!”

  Whatever else she had been about to say was cut off as his mouth claimed hers in a long, lazy kiss, his tongue making leisurely sweeps of her mouth. He kissed her as though he had all the time in the world, as though he intended this kiss to go on and on for endless minutes. Jill gave a sigh of blissful surrender, wrapping her arms around his neck in an attempt to press herself even closer against his body. He lifted one of her legs to wrap around his hip, and this time he made no attempt to hide the evidence of his arousal, rubbing his fully engorged penis against her vulva. And even though that part of her body was tender from last night’s initiation, she could still feel herself quickly becoming wet.

  She gasped in surprise as Max’s hand slid down over her belly and into the soft nest of her pubic hair, before slipping his fingers inside her just as he had done last night.

  “So wet,” he murmured huskily, making her shiver in reaction at the unmistakable sensuality in his voice. He withdrew his fingers and shockingly licked them, a naughty grin on his face. “And so sweet. Before this weekend is over, I’m going to taste you down here. Spread you open and then gorge myself on your sweetness.”

  “Oh,” was all she could think of in the way of a reply, wondering if the look in her eyes revealed just how startled she was by his bluntly sexual declaration.

  Max chuckled throatily, sliding his hand back up her midsection until he was gently cupping her breast. “I see that I’ve shocked you. That wasn’t my intention, sweet, so no need to look panicked, hmm? Oral sex is perfectly natural, after all, and a good option for you right now. As much as I’d love to be inside of you the entire weekend, you’re nowhere near ready for that. It would be far too painful and uncomfortable for you, so we’ll need to take things a bit easy. Using my mouth and hands to give you pleasure won’t be as intrusive as intercourse.”

  She nodded, once again thankful that her head was burrowed against him, hiding her flushed cheeks. “Okay. But what - what about you?” she asked in concern. “I mean, it would be awfully selfish of me to just expect you to, well…”

  “Be your sex slave all weekend?” he finished teasingly. “Believe me, love, that sounds like heaven to me. You know, a man can also feel pleasure - a great deal of it - when he knows he’s giving that same pleasure to his lover.”

  Jill couldn’t help feeling both thrilled and maybe a little bit wicked to hear Max refer to her again as his lover. The term made her feel so grown-up, sophisticated and worldly, as though she had years of sexual experience under her belt instead of a scant hour or two.

  “However,” added Max, “I’m also quite happy to show you how to please me in - ah, other ways. If you’re willing that is. Not all women enjoy performing oral sex on a man.”

  She lifted her head from his shoulder, and gazed into his eyes earnestly. “I’ll do anything you like, Max. I want to please you, make you happy. You’ve been so wonderful to me, made last night so perfect and beautiful and so much more than I had ever hoped my first time would be like. So the answer is yes. I want to learn from you, and I’ll do anything for you. Anything at all. Anything that you want.”

  Max stared at her in stunned disbelief, and she could almost swear she saw the glimmer of tears in his eyes. His thumb brushed over her lips with infinite tenderness, and when he spoke his voice threatened to crack with each softly murmured word.

  “You are remarkable,” he told her, his gaze filled with wonder. “So sweet and giving and unselfish. And so incredibly tempting. You really shouldn’t say something like that to a man, you know. Telling him that you’ll do anything he wants could be dangerous, love. Especially when that man craves you
as much as I do you.”

  He kissed her again, but this time far more demandingly. She should have been intimidated by his aggressive actions, but she knew that Max would never take her someplace she wasn’t ready to go, or ask anything of her that she wasn’t willing and eager to give him. She opened her mouth to him fervently, letting her tongue shyly tangle with his, and hearing his answering moan with a sense of satisfaction. He tossed the duvet off their bodies, baring her completely to his hungry gaze.

  “You’re even lovelier in the light of day,” he whispered, nuzzling his face between her breasts. “All of this perfect, soft skin. Like a juicy, sun-kissed peach.”

  “Max.”

  His name escaped her lips in a husky whisper as he turned his attention to her breasts - fondling and shaping them between his palms, plucking the tender nipples, and then sucking the entire areola into his mouth. Jill cried out in reaction, her hips beginning to twist from one side to the other, seeking an appeasement to the hunger he was quickly causing to rise up inside of her hot, feminine core.

  “You’re not too sore for this?” he asked thickly, already reaching for the one remaining condom.

  “No,” she whispered bravely, determined to give back to him some of the pleasure he had been so unselfishly heaping on her.

  And though she winced a bit as Max slowly began to enter her, she was relieved to note that it was nowhere near as overwhelming as last night had been. Her inner tissues were a little on the tender side, but he was once again taking this slowly and carefully, being mindful of her inexperience, and she found that her body could accept his possession a little easier this morning.

  “That’s it,” he breathed, reaching one hand around to squeeze her buttock. “God, yes! I thought I imagined how mind blowing this felt, but it’s even better than I remembered. Your pussy feels like a fist around my cock, love. A hot, wet, fist. So tight, so fucking good. I could stay buried inside of this sweet pussy of yours for hours at a time.”