The One Real Regret

by Janet Nissenson

  Astoundingly, Jill wasn’t the least bit turned off or shocked by his dirty talk, by the frank, carnal things he was murmuring in her ear as he began to move in and out of her body with slow, steady movements. Just the opposite, she realized, as he wrung a low moan from her lips. The sexy, slightly filthy things he continued to whisper only aroused her that much more, turned her on to a point where she instinctively began to move with him - meeting each careful thrust of his hips with an answering movement of her own. Max made some low, indecipherable sound of surprise at her unexpected participation, and wordlessly urged her on, lifting both of her legs to wrap around his waist, then sliding his hands to her buttocks and pulling her deeper onto his cock. She could feel his thrusts more deeply this way, could feel the very tip of his penis pushing against the entrance to her womb, and she gasped in half-pleasure, half-pain.

  “Easy,” soothed Max. “Don’t let me get carried away here, sweet. I could lose myself in you, Jill, all too quickly. Tell me if it’s too much.”

  “It’s not,” she whispered, thinking faintly that she couldn’t deny this man anything, even if she wanted to.

  And because she knew a little better what to expect this time around, she was able to relax more, to let herself go, and to even enjoy the experience. She adored this opportunity to touch her handsome, muscular lover, to run her hands over his shoulders and back and even his buttocks, to kiss his neck and face and lips, and to give back to him at least a little of the intense pleasure he had so unselfishly given to her.

  She held him to her when he climaxed, his face buried against the side of her neck as she pressed soothing little kisses along his heavily stubbled jaw, then stroked his back comfortingly as his body continued to shudder in reaction.

  Max coaxed her into the enormous walk-in shower with him, insisting that there was more than enough room for both of them, though it was her shyness at being fully naked in his presence that caused her to hesitate. But once she stepped inside the pale gray granite shower with its dual showerheads, Jill could only gape in awe at so much luxury. The toiletries - shampoo, conditioner, soap, body wash - were of a high-end brand that smelled delicious, and she very nearly forgot there was another occupant nearby as she washed her hair and lathered up her body decadently.

  Jill gasped when she felt a hard masculine body pressing up against her from behind, his big hands massaging the soapy lather into her breasts and belly. And when Max hooked an arm around her waist, then slid his palm down between her thighs, her hips bucked intuitively against his hand.

  “I wanted you too badly a little while ago to take care of you properly,” he confessed, rubbing the pad of his thumb over and around her clit. “Something I intend to remedy right now.”

  Before she could offer up a faint-hearted protest that he didn’t owe her anything, he was making good on his promise, sliding his fingers in and out of her vagina in a slow, measured rhythm. He turned her then, backing her up against a wall of the shower, and kissed her long and deep while keeping up the steady pump of his fingers. Jill was thankful for the support of the wall, knowing her wobbly legs would have given out from under her otherwise, causing her to slip on the wet floor.

  She recognized the telltale signs more easily this time, knew that the way her breasts had become swollen and full, and how her breathing had become uneven, signaled the approach of an orgasm. The contractions that began in her low belly and quickly spread to her entire genital region were still both unfamiliar and a little alarming. But she knew unquestionably that it was the best feeling she’d ever had, and that she would never, ever get tired of experiencing this sort of blissful, all encompassing release. The insistent pressure of Max’s mouth on hers suppressed the scream she would have made otherwise, and she clutched blindly at his firm biceps as her lower body bucked and shuddered against his clever, masterful fingers.

  Her legs were quivering as he turned off the shower taps, and she thought for a moment or two that he might have to dry her off, given how lightheaded she felt. Instead, she accepted the plush ivory bath towel he held out to her, and managed the job herself.

  “Here. You can use this robe.”

  Max was holding open a cream and tan striped cotton bathrobe as she stepped carefully out of the slippery shower, and she quickly slid her arms inside before belting the overlarge garment around her waist. While she toweled her long hair off, Max pulled on an identical robe.

  “There’s a couple of spare toothbrushes in that big drawer beneath the sink,” he told her as he began to shave. “Along with toothpaste and a variety of other toiletries you might need. If there’s something missing, just say the word and I can call down and have it brought up.”

  Jill shook her head as she examined the admittedly well stocked selection of complimentary toiletries. “Toothbrush and toothpaste, deodorant, body lotion. I have a comb in my purse and some lip gloss. That’s all I need. I usually don’t wear much makeup.”

  “You don’t need to,” he assured her with a wink. “You’re a natural beauty, sweet. In fact, if I’m being truthful, I prefer you without any makeup, just like you are right now.”

  She smiled a bit wistfully as she unwrapped the towel from around her damp hair. “Needless to say, my grandmother absolutely forbid me to wear any makeup or paint my nails, even get my ears pierced. When she died, I sort of rebelled a little and did all of those things, plus some other stuff as well. Nothing crazy like getting drunk, of course,” she added quickly. “Just, well, it was hard growing up with all of her rules, never being permitted to do things all the other girls my age got to do without a second thought.”

  Max frowned as he began to rinse off the shaving cream. “You never tried to rebel while she was alive? Or speak up for yourself?”

  Jill shrugged. “Oh, I thought about it of course. Sometimes I’d practice exactly what I was going to say to her in front of my mirror. Then, once I’d worked up the nerve to actually say the words, I’d march into the living room bound and determined to speak my mind. But every single time Grandma seemed to sense somehow that I was about to set my foot down, and she’d play the guilt card. You know, say something like I was all she had in the world, or how happy she was I turned out to be such a good girl, not like my mother. Or she’d complain that she didn’t feel well.”

  His mouth thinned angrily. “She was manipulating you, Jill. Oh, I don’t doubt your grandmother loved you very much, but what she did was wrong. Very wrong. No wonder you wanted to leave all of that behind you and make a new life for yourself.”

  He wiped his face off with a hand towel, then took her in his arms. “Now, no more talk about the past. I want to enjoy every minute I get to spend with you this weekend, and not have you be sad or upset, all right?” At her nod, he took her by the hand and led her into the living/dining area of the suite.

  While Jill made a pot of coffee, having found all the supplies she would need in the well stocked kitchen, Max ordered breakfast for them to be brought up. While they were waiting for room service to arrive, they took their coffee mugs out onto the sheltered, secluded terrace located just off the dining area.

  “I didn’t even know this terrace was here last night,” admitted Jill as she gazed out over the balcony. It was another chilly morning, but the overhang protected them from the worst of the wind and cold.

  “You were definitely on the nervous side when we arrived,” teased Max. “It’s no surprise that you didn’t take in very many details of the suite. But you should feel free to look around over the weekend, and certainly to avail yourself of all the amenities in the hotel. There’s an excellent gum, a full schedule of fitness classes, and an indoor pool. Do you swim?”

  She nodded. “I love to swim, actually. When I was a girl I was on the swim team at the local rec center, even won some races.” She sighed regretfully as she stared down into her coffee mug. “But my grandmother made me quit as soon as I hit puberty and began to - well, fill out my swimsuit. She didn’t
like the way boys looked at me, and told me I was too old for that sort of thing now. It sort of broke my heart to give it up, Max. One of my coaches had told me that I was good enough to swim collegiately one day, maybe even get an athletic scholarship. But she took that away from me, too, just like she did everything else. All because she didn’t trust that I wouldn’t get into trouble like my mother did.”

  “Jill. I’m so sorry, love.”

  Max took her mug from her and set it aside before taking her in his arms and stroking her damp hair tenderly. “You can swim for hours in the hotel pool, as long as you like,” he assured her. “Though depending on how revealing your swimsuit is, I might not like the way other men look at you,” he added teasingly.

  She giggled, her high spirits restored just that easily. “Honestly, it’s not very sexy at all. Seattle isn’t exactly bikini weather, you know, which is why I only swim at the indoor pool on campus whenever I get a chance. But thanks for telling me about the facilities here at the hotel. When I go home to pack a few things I’ll be sure to include my swimsuit.”

  There was a discreet knock on the door then, signaling the arrival of their brunch. Jill remained in the background as the waiter wheeled in a cart laden with dishes and carafes, a little shy at the thought of anyone but Max seeing her in just a bathrobe, especially since she was stark naked underneath. That reminded her of the fact that she’d need to wear the underthings, dress, and high heels she had worn last night until she could grab some clean clothes back at the house. Grimacing at the thought of having to wear already worn panties, even for an hour, made her wish she had thought to rinse them out in the sink last night. But she’d been so exhausted, both physically and emotionally, that she hadn’t had the strength to do anything but curl up against Max, snuggling her head against his shoulder as his arms had held her comfortingly.

  ‘Guess you can always turn your undies inside out,’ she told herself as the waiter exited the suite. ‘Besides, it’s just for a little while, the house is less than half an hour’s drive from here.’

  And then she forgot all about having to wear slightly used panties, or anything else for that matter, as she stared in disbelief at the feast that Max had ordered up for their brunch. Along with carafes of orange juice and coffee, there were eggs benedict, breakfast potatoes, a plate of perfectly cooked bacon strips, a tall stack of blueberry pancakes, a bowl of fresh fruit, and a basket that held a mouthwatering assortment of croissants, muffins, and miniature Danish pastries.

  “Did you invite four or five other people to join us for brunch?” she joked as Max held out a chair for her at the polished rosewood dining table. “Or do you really expect me to eat half of this?”

  He laughed softly as he took the seat directly across from her. “I suppose I did go a bit overboard,” he admitted. “I didn’t know what you liked for breakfast so I just ordered a whole variety of dishes.”

  Jill arched a brow at him admonishingly. “You could have asked, you know.”

  Max’s dark eyes twinkled merrily. “And you probably would have said just a bowl of oatmeal or some toast. Am I correct?”

  She gave a good-natured shrug. “Maybe. I usually don’t eat much for breakfast, I’ll admit, but that’s because I have an early class most mornings. And since I’m too lazy to get up an extra twenty minutes early to have a real breakfast, I typically just grab a protein bar to eat on the bus.”

  He made a tsking sound and began to load up her plate with a sampling of everything on the table. “Lazy is one word I would never associate with you, sweet. But you should definitely eat more than an energy bar for breakfast. No matter how busy I am I always start the day with a proper meal. And, yes, believe it or not, I actually prepare it myself. I’m a self-taught cook, not the greatest in the world, but I manage.”

  “Really?” she asked in surprise as she poured both of them a glass of orange juice. “Have you used this kitchen? I just assumed you were having all of your meals delivered from room service or ate out somewhere.”

  “I’ve had breakfast here most mornings, and a couple of dinners. The hotel offers a grocery delivery service for the guests staying in suites equipped with kitchens. But mostly I’ve been too busy on this particular trip to do much in the way of meal preparation.”

  “I’m impressed,” she told him teasingly. “I doubt that many men who are as - um, successful as you are would bother with something as menial as cooking.”

  Max shrugged. “I wasn’t always successful, and definitely not wealthy, so I had to learn to take care of myself when I was young. And now that I can easily afford to eat out whenever I like, or hire a cook, I find that I like my privacy most of the time. I’ve never been a very social person, something my two closest friends jibe me about unmercifully.”

  She swallowed a bite of the delicious eggs benedict before asking him in a timid voice, “Does that include - well, relationships?”

  He gave her a half-smile. “It does, yes. I don’t really do relationships, Jill. I’m, well, a difficult person to get close to. Besides the matter of privacy that I already mentioned, it’s not easy for me to open myself up to other people, to discuss my thoughts or my past. And there are things - memories, experiences - that I have never discussed with anyone. Or ever intend to discuss. I don’t trust easily, so for that reason and others I tend to avoid any sort of long term relationships with women.”

  Jill tried valiantly to hide the dejection she felt at his cool, rather distant statement. “So you’ve never been in love before?” she asked bravely. “Never thought about settling down, having a family of your own?”

  “No, to all three questions,” Max stated bluntly.

  He turned his attention then to his breakfast, effectively putting a halt to this conversation that was evidently becoming far too personal for his liking. Jill took the hint, and resolved not to bring the subject up again. Talking about his past or discussing his personal life were obviously touchy issues for Max, even though, she thought grouchily, he hadn’t had any such trouble asking the same sorts of questions about her life.

  She ate hungrily, far more than she ever did at breakfast, but even though it was easily the most lavish, tasty morning meal she had ever had, at some point she had to push her plate away regretfully.

  “No more,” she resolved, patting her belly. “Thank you for such a wonderful brunch, but I can’t eat another bite. As it is, I’ll have to swim laps for two hours to work off all those calories.”

  Max scoffed. “Nonsense. You’ve got a beautiful body, Jill, very fit and slim. The last thing you need to worry about is counting calories or keeping weight off. Besides swimming, do you have a regular fitness routine?”

  “I wouldn’t call it regular,” admitted Jill. “Between classes and my job and studying, plus doing my share of chores around the house, I don’t have much free time. But I try to ride my bike to school when the weather isn’t too awful, and on the weekends I take a class at the fitness center on campus, usually yoga or kickboxing, whatever works best with my schedule. What about you? You, um, seem in awfully good shape,” she added timidly.

  He grinned. “Are you trying to tell me in your very ladylike way that you find me attractive, love?

  She returned his grin. “You must know already that I do,” she mumbled awkwardly. “I mean, I know I’ve never come right out and said so, but that’s because I’m hopelessly inept at - at this sort of thing, and have no idea of the right or wrong things to say or do, and I know I’m - ”

  “Delightful,” interrupted Max. “Natural and spontaneous and completely, utterly delightful. And I’ve already told you how much I appreciate your honesty, Jill. It’s a rare treat for me to be with someone who doesn’t play silly games or fishes for compliments or any of the other trying things that only reinforce my reasons for shying away from relationships. And I don’t mean to tease you or make you feel uncomfortable. If I do, I apologize.”

  “No, no!” She shook her head
in denial. “Not at all. You haven’t made me feel that way even once. It’s just - well, like I said. I’m so inexperienced at this stuff, so naïve, and I’ve been afraid of making a fool of myself because I have no idea of how I’m supposed to act. And of course I find you very, very attractive. You’re the most attractive man I’ve ever met. And obviously the only one I ever seriously considered, well, being with. Having sex with,” she corrected in a feeble attempt to sound more confident.

  He held out a hand to her. “Come here, love.”

  She walked to the other side of the table, then placed her hand in his as he guided her onto his lap. Max’s arms went around her and she sighed in utter contentment as she rested her head on his shoulder.

  His lips brushed her temple. “First of all, there is no possible way you could ever make a fool of yourself, Jill. One of the reasons I was initially attracted to you was because you were like a breath of fresh air, and if I’m being honest it’s been a very, very long time since I’ve met someone who had that effect on me - if ever. So you don’t have to worry about saying the right thing, or worrying if I’ll think you naïve. I already know you’re inexperienced, sweet, so I certainly don’t expect you to act like a woman of the world. In fact,” he added, deftly parting the wrap front of her robe and cupping her breast, “I’m very much looking forward to the next lesson in your sexual education.”

  Jill gasped as he pushed the robe off her shoulder far enough to bare her breast, and then bent his head to run his tongue around the hard little nipple. She squirmed eagerly in his lap, filled with the sudden urge to boldly toss off the robe, and then his, until they were both naked. She could feel herself growing wet, and at the same time felt the press of his erection against her ass.

  “Christ, what you do to me,” muttered Max as he lifted his head from her breast before firmly pulling the edges of her robe together. “And before you say you don’t mind, sweet, I certainly do mind if you overuse certain, er, previously unused parts of this perfect body. No more sex until tonight at the earliest, and then only after I pick up some lubricant for you. Along with more condoms, of course. And speaking of picking things up.”