Hope Over Fear (Over #1)

by J. A. Derouen

  “God, you’re so tight, baby. So fucking wet.” As Adam’s thumb brushes lightly over my clit, my body shatters with the most mind-blowing orgasm I’ve ever felt. I don’t think it’s ever going to end, and that’s perfectly fine with me.

  I hear a faint ringing in the background. The more I try to tune out the sound, the louder it gets.

  “What!”

  I fly up out of bed and look around the room, trying to locate the noise. I find my phone on the bedside table, and see the display flashing: MOM CALLING. That’s when I realize I’m the only person in the room.

  And the most erotic sexual experience I’ve ever had was only a dream.

  So what do you wear to eat dinner with your friends and the man you have sex dreams about? Standing in front of my closet, I scan my wardrobe and find that everything comes up short. My skills leave much to be desired when it comes to fashion, so I tend to rely on Marlo to keep me from making a fool out of myself. If I don’t take her shopping with me, I have to shop off the mannequins. With that in mind, I decide the best thing to do is keep it simple. I opt for dark skinny jeans, cowboy boots, a thick, cream-colored cable knit sweater, and turquoise jewelry.

  The girls are meeting me later at Celia’s house, because Marlo is at work until seven, and Alex is working late at the gallery. Although I could use the wardrobe advice, I’m a little relieved I won’t be speaking to either of them before dinner. I can’t ever hide anything from those two, and I would most certainly confess Adam’s relationship status and my not-so-subtle sex dream. I’m anxious enough about tonight without Marlo and Alex giving me eyebrow raises and thumbs-up gestures. While they mean well, they are also very Laverne and Shirley.

  Celia’s house is a cinch to find, and I find myself surveying the houses on either side, wondering which is Adam’s house. Cozy would be the appropriate word to describe Celia’s place. It’s surrounded by a wooden picket fence and two rustic rocking chairs sitting on her porch. Wind chimes dangle from the porch ceiling, and the front door is adorned in beautiful stained glass panes. The large pecan tree in the front yard shades the porch area, and I imagine Celia spends many sunrises and sunsets sitting on her rocking chair, drinking coffee and enjoying the scenery. The house is painted a pale yellow, and the address numbers on the house are done in a funky mosaic tile, reminiscent of the clinic’s artwork.

  I hesitantly shuffle up to the house, and I hear Parachute playing on the stereo and deep laughter filtering through the front door. Before I knock, the door swings open, and I see a gentle giant smiling down on me.

  “Hey there! You must be Sara. I’m Cain. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “Cain? The Tweety Bird tattoo, Cain?”

  “That fucker is still telling that lie? Adam, your stupid ass needs some new material,” Cain hollers over his shoulder, and I hear Adam chuckling from inside the house.

  Cain turns sideways to allow me entrance, and I feel slightly intimidated by the sheer size of this guy. He’s easily almost six and a half feet tall with broad shoulders and tree trunks for arms. It only takes one glance at his features to see the teddy bear underneath, though. His curly blond locks are a bit out of control, and his emerald eyes light up his whole face when he smiles.

  “Sara! I’m so glad you made it. I have chicken and sausage gumbo, potato salad, and garlic bread. I hope you’re hungry. Wait, where are your friends? I’ve got enough food to feed an army!” Celia loops her arm around mine and slowly walks me into the kitchen area. Her living room, dining room, and kitchen are situated in an open floor plan, ideal for entertaining.

  “They had to work today, but they were both psyched about coming tonight. I expect they’ll be here in about thirty minutes. Thanks again for inviting me, Celia. And thanks for inviting my friends.”

  “Oh, please, don’t thank me. The more, the merrier. You can’t leave Audrey and me with these two asshats!”

  “Oh really? Is that how you’re playing it, Celia?” Cain sneaks up behind us, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and whispering … very loudly. “Thank God you’re here, Sara. These two cougars have been ready to pounce on Adam and me all night long. I keep catching Audrey undressing me with her eyes.”

  “Cougars? Cougars? You little shit!” Celia’s friend, who I assume is Audrey, beats Cain over the head with the frozen garlic bread as Cain howls in laughter.

  I look over and lock eyes with Adam, who is sporting a sly and sexy smile. I dodge the melee and make my way over to the sink where Adam is washing dishes. Celia’s kitchen has an island with bar stools so I sit across from him and inconspicuously check him out while he’s occupied with the task at hand. The faux hawk is back tonight, and the blue button-down oxford with rolled up sleeves makes the blue of his eyes intoxicating. The bridge of Adam’s nose is lightly dusted with freckles, and his lips are full and kissable.

  Adam appears to be sizing me up, also, and I pray that I measure up. I know that I’m attractive, but I’m not someone who stands out in a crowd. Ordinary is how I’ve always felt—with my wavy brown hair, brown eyes, and average height. I’m the epitome of “Plain Jane.” I’m muscular, but I still manage to excel in the tits and ass categories, two things that work in my favor.

  “Good call getting out of the line of fire. Audrey can get pretty feisty.” Adam smiles with laughter in his eyes. Drip. Drip.

  “I’m sorry you had to see that, Sara. Cain needs to be beaten into submission on a regular basis. He hasn’t completely evolved yet. Please forgive him.” Audrey still holds the frozen garlic bread in her hand, albeit broken in half, as she apologizes.

  Celia giggles as she takes the battered bread from the girl’s clutches. “Sara, this is my best friend, Audrey. We’ve been friends since we were little. As you can probably tell, I’m the sweet, and she’s the spice.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Audrey. I give props to anyone who isn’t afraid to dole out beatings to that giant!”

  “I allow these ladies to think they rule the roost.” While Cain is talking, he’s walking up behind Celia, whose back is turned to him. “But one of these days … when they least expect it …” Cain whips Celia around and throws her over his shoulder. She starts laughing and screaming for help while he dances around the kitchen smacking her on the ass and tickling her side.

  We all laugh—we can’t help it. And I know I could get used to this.

  Marlo and Alex arrive a few minutes before dinner is served, and introductions are made all around. Adam sits next to me at the table, which I’m pleased about, but I’m also a little disappointed that I won’t be able to ogle him from across the table. Then again, I love the intimate way that he leans over and whispers to me throughout dinner.

  “Celia, this gumbo is awesome. I can’t believe you can cook so well. What other secret talents are you hiding?” I smile at her, genuinely impressed.

  “Ah, you have much to learn about me, Sara.”

  “You know, we’ve got a lot of new faces here tonight. You know what I think we should do?” Cain looks around the table mischievously as he rubs his hands together.

  “Oh no, Cain! Don’t get one of your hair-brained ideas!” Audrey shoots Cain a mock stern look.

  “I think we should play a little ‘get to know you’ game. Someone will ask another person a personal question. Once that person answers, he or she chooses another person to ask, and so on. Great idea, right? I’ll go first …”

  “What if someone doesn’t want to answer the question?” Marlo has her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes narrowed at Cain.

  “Well, that’s just not allowed, sweetheart,” Cain states in a matter of fact tone and turns away from Marlo as she huffs. “Okay, here goes. Celia, tell us about your funniest experience with a patient?”

  “Cain, you know I can’t talk about that due to confidentiality. Also, my patients are very sick, and it shouldn’t be made light of—”

  “I don’t want to know names, addresses, or any of that shit. And we are all extreme
ly compassionate people who are fully aware that your patients have terrible life struggles. All that said, spill it, my friend.”

  “Well, I guess I can tell you about a patient I worked with in my undergrad studies. Let’s just call her Hannah. Hannah was convinced that there were drug dealers living next door to her, and they were shooting roaches into her house using potato guns …”

  “You have got to be shitting me. Potato guns!” Cain throws his head back, howling in laughter.

  “Wait, I’m not finished. Hannah’s husband always threatened to have her committed, and she lived in constant fear of that. She told me, ‘Miss Celia, he’s gonna call my daughter and tell her I have a gun under the mattress, and who do you think she’ll believe? She’s gonna believe him, and they are going to send me away. I don’t have a gun under the mattress.’ I don’t know why, but I had the gut feeling that I wasn’t getting the whole story. So I asked her, ‘Hannah, where is the gun?’ And she looked me straight in the eye without flinching and said, ‘It’s under the sofa cushion.’”

  Everyone remains silent for a few moments while Celia’s story sinks in, and then Cain pipes up.

  “Celia, that’s not fucking funny! That’s disturbing!”

  “I know it is. That’s because mental illness isn’t funny, dickhead. Let that be a lesson to you. Now it’s my turn. Adam, what’s the worst pick up line you’ve ever used?” Celia shrugs her shoulders at him, scrunches up her nose, and smiles.

  Adam peels the label off his beer bottle and appears to be racking his brain. He smirks as he confesses, “Well, I have one that comes to mind. But the shit worked, so it can’t be that bad, right? Anyway, I was wasted one night at some random pick-up bar, and this chick kept giving me ‘fuck me’ eyes from across the room. So I walked over there—probably more like stumbled, thinking back to how drunk I was—and said the first thing that came to my mind.”

  “Which was …” Audrey prompts with the rolling of her hand.

  “Your bones are smiling at me.” Adam has a Cheshire cat grin on his face and appears to be quite proud.

  “Wow! How stupid would that girl have to be to fall for that shit?” Marlo wonders out loud while the rest of us laugh and throw napkins at Adam. “Come to think of it, she just probably thought you were hot and decided to dismiss that lousy pick up attempt. I expected more from you, Adam!”

  “I know, I know. That was pretty lame, but like I said, I was hammered. The words were flowing, and I felt like a fucking poet at the time. Good to know you think I’m hot, though, Marlo.” Adam laughs and quickly changes the subject before Marlo can respond. “Anyway, who will be the next victim? Alex, I see you trying to fade into the background over there. It’s your turn! What is the worst date that you’ve ever had?”

  “Unfortunately, I have so many to choose from, it’s hard to pick just one!” Alex rolls her eyes and leans back in her chair. “Okay, last year, this douchenozzle took me to one of those coffee shop open mic nights. It was pretty cool at first. Right up until he goes on stage and pours his heart out about his long lost love, who just happened to be sitting three tables away from us with her new boyfriend. In front of everyone, she yelled at him and demanded he quit stalking her. Just thinking about that night gives me the creeps!”

  “Wow, that’s pretty bad … even for you, Alex,” I joke.

  “Yeah, it sucked. I don’t know how I keep attracting these winners. Okay, here I go. Cain, what’s your most embarrassing moment?”

  “Well, I’m sure you can guess that I don’t embarrass very easily. But there was this one time in high school that I will never forget. I had a habit of pantsing all the guys at basketball practice, and they decided that they’d had enough—”

  “Pantsing? What’s pantsing?” I interrupt.

  “You know, coming up from behind and yanking someone’s shorts down. Anyway, those fuckers decided to pay me back by pantsing me at the championship game. So there I stood, in the middle of the court, with my balls blowing in the breeze.”

  The whole table erupts in laughter, even Cain. I bet Cain was the king of pranks in high school.

  “But that’s okay, I got them back. They didn’t realize that their girlfriends were going to see what they were missing, if you know what I mean. My calendar was booked for the rest of the year!” Cain grins as everyone’s bottle caps are pelted at his head.

  “Cain, you’re such a humble guy. Really, you amaze me.” Celia shakes her head and giggles at her friend. You can see the affection in her eyes, and their closeness is obvious.

  “I know, Celia, I amaze myself. Anyway, back to the game. I think I’m going to pick on Miss Sara.”

  Oh shit. I knew it was coming, but there was no way to prepare for this. How can you prepare when you don’t know what will be asked? I draw in a deep breath and square my shoulders.

  “Go on, Cain, hit me with your best shot.”

  “Okay, Sara, what’s your kink?”

  I’m confused by the question, so I look over at Marlo and Alex. The two of them look at me and then at each other. Then they proceed to burst out laughing. I feel really out of the loop …

  “I don’t get it …”

  Marlo catches her breath long enough to spit out, “I know you don’t, honey, and that’s why it’s so funny!”

  I’m getting the feeling that I should be embarrassed, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out why. This can’t be good …

  “Crawling” by Green River Ordinance

  “KINK, MY SWEET little Sara, is a little bit of sexual deviance.” As Cain finishes his sentence, I feel the redness creeping up my neck and into my face. “Some spanking, a little bondage, some toe sucking, role playing—you know, those kind of things. So, I’ll ask again … what’s your kink?”

  With every example Cain gives, Marlo and Alex laugh louder, and I sink lower and lower into my seat. I avoid, at all costs, looking over at Adam. How in the hell am I supposed to answer that question? I’m not what you would call experienced in the sex department, and I’ve definitely never been tied up!

  “Sara doesn’t even like when guys go down on her. No way in hell she’s letting anyone suck her toes!”

  “Really, Marlo! You don’t have to share everything.” I know my face is nearly on fire, and I wish I could swallow my embarrassment. Damnit, Marlo! Way to make me look like a fucking prude.

  “Wait, hold on a minute. Sara and I have discussed this with a few friends, and we’ve concluded that it may not be her fault. It could be a problem with the delivery, if you know what I mean,” Alex states in an attempt to defend me.

  “Oh, do tell!” Audrey has joined in on the mocking, and I am praying that the floor will swallow me whole very soon.

  “In the past, we feel that maybe those things leading up to the act were … rushed. If there was a bit more knocking before just barging in the door, things may be more … enjoyable.”

  “Challenge accepted!” Cain shoots up from the table, his arms held high in the air.

  The entire table bursts into laughter, and I feel some of my nerves starting to wash away. It’s already out there, so I may as well own it and move on.

  “No challenge was issued, you fuckwad!” Adam’s voice comes out a bit strained, and I turn to notice the muscles of his jaw twitching. I silently hope his irritation is with Cain and not me.

  “Sorry to disappoint you, Cain, but there is no challenge. Although, I do appreciate your enthusiasm. To answer your question as honestly as I can, I guess I haven’t had much experience with anything kinky. I promise to let you know when I do. How about that?”

  “Oh, I’ll be waiting, my sweet little Sara, I’ll be waiting.” Cain grins smugly.

  We continue to play Cain’s game for a while longer, and I’m not the only one who gets thrown under the bus. By the end of dinner, my embarrassment is long forgotten, and I just focus on having a great time with new friends.

  After being pushed out of the kitchen by Celia for attempting to help wi
th the dishes, I peruse the pictures and knick-knacks that decorate her living room. Celia has decorated her home with vibrant colors. Her sofa is warm golden yellow with hot pink accent pillows. Her pine wood floors are covered with a sage green area rug. There are two chairs with floral patterns that tie everything together.

  Celia has a picture on her bookshelf that catches my attention, so I walk across the room to get a closer look. She looks a bit younger in the picture, and she’s sitting in front of a boy whose arms are wrapped around her. Her head is turned around, and they are looking into each other’s eyes, laughing. In that moment, I know that nothing mattered to them but being together. The photo is breathtaking, and I feel a tinge of jealousy for what they share.

  “Don’t ask her about it, okay?” I don’t hear Adam’s approach, but he’s directly behind me, whispering softly in my ear, his hand resting lightly on my hip.

  “Huh?”

  “The photo … don’t ask Celia about it. I’ll tell you what I know later, but I don’t want to ruin her mood. She’s having a really good time …”

  “Of course, I don’t mean to pry. They are just so beautiful together. You can feel how much they love each other.”

  “Come with me,” Adam gently coaxes as he looks at me through his long black eye lashes, and there’s no way I’ll deny him.

  He takes my hand and leads me to the back door. Celia’s backyard has a cozy courtyard area with brick flooring, a wooden trellis, and a small seating area with Adirondack chairs. Adam takes my hand and leads me to one of the chairs and drags a large chiminea out of the corner. He walks across the courtyard to a small bin and grabs a few logs to build a fire.

  While he’s busy at work, I take another opportunity to appreciate this beautiful man. In comparison to Cain, Adam is all long, lean, roped muscles. While Cain would probably beat him in a test of brute strength, I seriously doubt he could ever catch Adam. He smirks as he sits across from me in the other chair, apparently aware of my perusal, once again. The warmth of the fire warms my skin in contrast with the cold night air, and I instinctively close my eyes and tilt my head toward the fire.