Scar

by Baylin Crow

  “You aren’t going to introduce us?” Miles asked.

  “You already know him.” I raised my brow. The guys had seen him after every game for a long time when we went to the bar and Miles had actually talked to him, so I didn’t know what he was doing.

  Miles stepped forward. “Yeah, but we haven’t ever met him as your boyfriend.”

  I looked at each of their faces, and they all seemed to be waiting for my reaction. They knew how long I had crushed on him and now he was mine. Hearing him being called my boyfriend was a first, and I was definitely ok with that. More like ecstatic. “Come on guys. Tonight was his first night ‘out’. I’m not sure he’s ready for all that.”

  “Uh, he just kissed you in front of a stadium full of people,” a guy named Alex pointed out.

  They had all played a part when they abandoned me at the bar that night and their plan had worked. Maybe they did deserve the introduction, and I wanted to do it. I just hoped Beard wouldn’t kill me.

  “Fine, let’s go.” I grabbed my gym bag and led them out of the locker room and towards the bleachers. The place had emptied out minus one lone, bearded man.

  His eyes widened when he saw my entire team behind me. I thought once again that I was making a mistake when I saw his hands shake a little. I don’t know what I had been thinking. Tonight was already a huge step. But after what happened to him, being confronted by the team had to be the hardest part.

  I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile and reached for him. Grabbing his hand, I turned with him to face the guys who were all standing there with shit eating grins.

  “Guys, you all know Beard. Beard these are the assholes who left me at your mercy that night at the bar.” At the introduction, he laughed.

  “Uh, well, would it be weird to say thank you?” he asked, and I was probably the only one who detected the slight waver in his words.

  Some of the guys threw their heads back and laughed while others shook their heads still grinning.

  One by one they passed patting him on the shoulder as they headed back inside. “Nice to officially meet you, Beard.” I heard one of the guys say. “You better treat him right.”

  “I will,” I heard him mumble to himself.

  Miles and Josh stayed behind as everyone else left.

  “Thank God, you finally gave his ugly mug a shot. Now we don’t have to hear him go on and on about having the hots for the bartender.” Miles said, and Josh joined into the ribbing.

  I watched as Beard relaxed watching them tease me and it made it worth it. “Shut up,” I said and shoved them in the direction everyone else had just gone.

  “Come on,” said Josh to Miles. “We can tell when we aren’t wanted.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’ll see you when in a little bit when I get home.” I waited until they were out of earshot and then turned back to Beard. “You okay?”

  “Yeah. Maybe a little warning next time?” His lighthearted tone let me know he was ok with everything and I relaxed.

  “I wasn’t going to bring them out here, but they insisted,” I explained.

  No one was in sight, so I brought him close and kissed him like I had wanted to earlier. He responded by pressing us close together and walked us back underneath the bleachers.

  He groaned into my mouth. “Are you coming over?”

  “I want to, but I can’t tonight.” At his searching look, I explained. “I have a paper due Monday, and if I come over, we both know that isn’t going to happen.”

  He sighed. “I’m just used to you being there now, I guess.”

  I thought of waking up with him and decided that I changed my mind. “Ok, you talked me into to it. Let’s go home.” I started to walk in his truck’s direction.

  He laughed and turned me back around bringing me close. “No, you were right. Go home and do your paper. I’ve gotta help Jackson out tonight anyway. Andi took a personal day, and it should be picking up pretty soon since you guys won tonight, so he’s going to need the help.”

  “Fine,” I sulked. “I’ll go home and study tonight, but I’m coming over tomorrow.” It wouldn’t kill me to spend a day away every now and then, but I just didn’t want to.

  “Ok.” He smiled and kissed me one last time. Walking me to my car, he held my hand and I squeezed in return. When we reached my car, he waited for me to get in to leave. I watched until he got in his truck and waved.

  On the drive home, I had to keep telling myself that I had work to do so I didn’t change course and go straight to the bar. Besides, like he said, he was going to be busy working tonight. I knew some of the guys would be going up there to drink just like usual after a winning game, but I wasn’t lying when I had said I needed to work on that paper. I would be graduating this year, and I couldn’t afford to be slacking off.

  When I made it home, I was surprised to see that Miles and Josh hadn’t already headed out for the night. “Are you actually staying in your own room tonight?” Miles joked.

  “I have that stupid paper to write.”

  “Quit crying. Next thing we know you’ll be moving in with him.”

  “I highly doubt that. His apartment is tiny.” They both stood staring at me. “What?”

  “You’d totally do it, wouldn’t you?” Miles asked, and Josh shoved him.

  “Leave him alone. He’s been carrying a hard on for that guy for so long you can’t really blame him now that he’s got him.” I thought at that moment that I liked Josh better than Miles.

  “Both of you need to chill out. I’m not moving anywhere. He wouldn’t be ready for that.”

  “You’ve practically been living there anyway,” Miles pointed out.

  I nodded, conceding his point. “Yeah, but it would be different if it was official. I think we need to see how he handles being public with me first. Don’t you think?”

  “Good point,” Josh said as he grabbed his keys. “We’re out. Have fun…or not.”

  I waved them off and headed for my room. Keeping my mind on what I was supposed to be doing was proving to be almost impossible. The guys had made things worse talking about me moving in with Beard. Mental images of sharing a home with him flashed through my mind, and I found myself wanting that. This was moving so fast. Too fast probably, but I had waited for him so long that it just didn’t feel that way.

  When I shut down my laptop around midnight, I shot a text to Beard.

  Me: Tonight was boring. I should have been there with you.

  He responded after a few minutes.

  Beard: Did you get your paper done?

  Me: Yeah and I’m exhausted from the game too. I think I’m about to pass out.

  Beard: Your friends are here. It’s weird seeing them here without you.

  Me: I’d be there too, but someone has been taking up a lot of my time and now I’m behind on schoolwork.

  Beard: Go to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.

  Me: Night xo

  ---

  When I woke up, I had to get ready for practice. Thankfully when practice was the day after a game it was lighter than normal days, because I had tossed and turned all night because my bed felt too firm after getting used to the soft mattress at Beard’s.

  My stomach reminded me that I hadn’t eaten last night so I shoved my legs in a pair of sweatpants and went to make something to eat. I did my usual peanut butter on toast and washed it down with an energy drink. Pulling my phone out, I tapped out a quick text to Beard, knowing he would be up already. The man did not sleep past sunrise.

  Me: Morning Sunshine. I missed you last night. When are you going to be free tonight?

  He still hadn’t text back by the time I made it to the locker room, so I had to leave my phone behind, which sucked. Practice went by fast, and I was ready to see Beard. I hoped he wouldn’t mind me coming over sooner rather than later, but when I pulled my phone back out, there still wasn’t a response from him.

  When I made it home, I opened my laptop and surfed some social media to keep
me distracted from thinking the worst, like maybe he had decided yesterday had been too much. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I went to see what Miles and Josh were doing.

  The sound of bullets being virtually shot came from the other room, and I looked in to see my roommates leaning forward where they sat on the couch focused intently on the screen of the TV. Neither even noticed me standing there, and I usually knew better than to interrupt when they were like that, but right then, I just didn’t care.

  Josh looked at me warily as I sat between them. “Can you scoot closer to Miles?” he asked.

  “No way!” Miles yelled. “You keep his bad luck on your side of the couch.”

  I slouched back into the cushions and spread my legs out so I would be closer to both of them just to piss them off. Before either of them could completely freak out, my phone chimed and I scrambled to pick it up. It was from Beard, and I was disappointed, to say the least.

  Beard: Something came up, and I can’t do tonight. Tomorrow, ok?

  I didn’t know if it was my place to ask what had come up, but his vague response rattled me a little so I went with something a little safer.

  Me: Everything alright?

  Beard: Yes

  Ok, something was wrong if I was back to getting one word answers. Either last night had been too much for him, or something else had happened. I had a terrible feeling it was the former. My shoulders slumped, feeling more than a little disappointed, not only because I wouldn’t be seeing him, but also because I didn’t even know if we were ok. I didn’t need to be lost in my head, so I went back to bothering my roommates.

  Miles was yelling at Josh and pointing wildly at the TV. Josh was yelling right back, and I had been oblivious to their argument. When I sighed, they both stopped at the same time and looked at me.

  “What’s wrong?” This came from Miles.

  I slumped back into the cushions. “I have no idea.”

  “Something going on with you and Beard?” he asked. Josh watched the exchange with drawn brows.

  “Honestly, I have no idea, but I need to do something. I don’t want to just sit here.”

  They both looked puzzled. “Help us out here,” Josh said. “What happened? Weren’t you supposed to be at Beard’s?”

  “He said something came up.” I waved my hand like it was no big deal but didn’t miss the way they both looked at each other. “He said we’d see each other tomorrow, so I’m sure it’s nothing.”

  After studying me and making me feel pretty damn weird, Miles handed me his controller like it was a sacred object he was afraid to let go of. “You can play, but you have to be careful with it.”

  “Are you fucking serious?” Josh yelled. “You are such a freak. It’s a controller and not made out of glass, but you are stupid! You know his bad luck is going to rub off all over that thing.”

  “It’s a special edition, asshole.” Miles was well and truly eccentric when it came to his gaming systems. Josh was almost as bad, and they both truly believed I was bad luck.

  “It was one game!” I defended myself.

  “It was the worst game I’ve ever seen,” Miles countered.

  I eyed the controller trying to figure out what was so special about it and came up with absolutely nothing and then I ended up playing for a little while until they both started complaining that I was ruining everything. That was the last time I’d trust them to keep me occupied.

  “Ok well, I think that’s enough for me,” I stood and heard Miles murmur “Thank God” under his breath and Josh laughed. “So what are we doing tonight?”

  “There’s some new taco shack in town we were going to try. Want to come?” Miles offered.

  Since I had nothing else to do, and hadn’t spent a whole lot of time off the field with my friends lately, I agreed.

  An hour later we had parked and were walking down the sidewalk towards the small restaurant that from where we were really did resemble a shack.

  Josh was talking about some chick he had hooked up with last night when Miles pulled on my arm causing me to stop walking. “What?” I asked and saw that he was staring into the window of one of the fancier restaurants in town that we had been passing.

  “Beard.” He pointed, and I looked in the window. Sure enough, Beard was sitting at a table pushed near the window.

  “He said something came up and he’s at a restaurant,” I stated, like it would suddenly make sense and explain what had come up. I knew that he wasn’t meeting another guy or anything. I trusted him, so I just wanted to know what was going on and why he was sitting at the table alone. My friends didn’t offer any input to help me out. “Should I go in and say hi?”

  Josh shrugged. “I don’t see why not. He’s your boyfriend right?”

  “I think so.” We hadn’t had that conversation really, and it hadn’t occurred to me to even go through it because for me we were together and I was pretty sure he was on the same page. “I’ll be right back.” I hesitated. “Probably.”

  Miles gave me a nudge towards the door. When I entered, I told the hostess that I had spotted my party and she let me through without an issue.

  Beard had his eyes downcast, staring into his glass of what looked like water. When I placed my hand on his arm, he jerked and looked up. When his eyes met mine, they widened and he opened his mouth to say something just as someone cleared their throat behind me.

  Thirteen

  Beard

  This was not happening. Maybe if I thought it enough times, it would all go away. I hadn’t told Soccer much about my parents, but I had planned on it, just not with them present. Tonight wasn’t going to be pleasant as it was and now it was going to be much, much worse, and I didn’t want Soccer to witness it. It embarrassed me that these two people were where I came from and knowing how they felt about my “condition,” I was seriously worried they’d say something to him, and he’d run off. I had just found him, I couldn’t let that happen and yet here I was, trapped. I should have just told him that my parents had shown up, but I didn’t want to explain why I didn’t want him to meet them. This was a mess.

  “Excuse me,” Soccer said as he moved to the side and out of their way and closer to me. I saw my mother study the two of us and how close he was standing next to me. I could practically see her calculating brain working out the situation and how to make everyone suffer. After last night, this morning’s paper’s top news was again surrounding Soccer, only this time he wasn’t the only one in the photo. Someone had snapped a photo of the two of us from last night, and it took mere hours for it to reach my parents somehow. They hadn’t called and instead had shown up at the bar and demanded to speak to me unless I wanted to cause a scene. Now here we were, and Soccer had shown up before I had been able to say anything.

  My mother let my father pass to take the window seat and then she took the seat across from mine. “Aren’t you going to introduce us?” she asked with a tight smile.

  She had the perfectly polished image to stand beside my father who also never had so much as a scuff on his overpriced shoe. I actually got my dark hair from my mother, but you wouldn’t know it under the expensive blonde color she was constantly at the salon having applied.

  I didn’t want to look at Soccer but couldn’t stop myself. He was clearly struggling, and I wasn’t making it any easier. “Soccer, this is my mom, Mara and my father, Roger. Mom and Dad, this is Soccer.”

  “Soccer? What kind of introduction is that? You should at least introduce him by name.” She wrinkled her nose.

  Soccer laughed, clearly not reading the disdain written all over her face. He wasn’t cut from the same cloth as the two conniving people sitting at the table and probably had no experience with people like her. My dad wasn’t a whole lot better, but my mother was downright hostile.

  “It’s what everyone calls me. Beard here was the one who started it.”

  “Beard?” she spat. “Is that what you’re going by?”

  I watched as Soccer’s express
ion collapsed finally seeing this wasn’t a happy event. I waited until he looked at me, completely ignoring my mother’s question. He did, and he looked so lost. “Uh, I should probably go. Josh and Miles are outside waiting. So, yeah. It was nice meeting you both. I’ll just… Call me later,” he said as he started backing away.

  I didn’t even think about it. My hand shot out and grabbed his and I threaded my fingers through his. His eyes jumped to mine, and though they were cautious, I hoped that he tell that I didn’t want him to go. His support might be the only way I could get through this. I needed him.

  “Stay,” I pleaded.

  He glanced quickly at my parents and then back to me. “Are you sure?”

  I nodded, and he slid behind me taking the chair across from my father.

  “Well isn’t this cozy? Imagine my surprise when I had to see it in the paper that my son was in a relationship.” She narrowed her eyes at the both of us.

  My laugh held no humor when I leveled my gaze directly at her. “I don’t even want to know how you found out so fast and honestly it wouldn’t surprise me if you had people who reported to you about my every move. That’s the kind of people you are. Who I date is not your concern. I put up with the way you treated me for years, and that shouldn’t have happened, but it did. Believe it or not, after all this time of being afraid to be who I am, I no longer care what people think. Least of all, you two. You shouldn’t have wasted your time coming here.”

  “You ungrateful…” she started, and my father put his hand on her arm to quiet her voice that had been rising with her anger. She looked around and noted that a few people had looked over to see what was going on. She lowered her voice. “You know what this could do to your father’s career. We gave you everything, and this is how you repay us? Flaunting your little boy toy for the world to see. Did you even think about the way this would affect your family?”

  Soccer’s hand tightened around mine, and I felt him start to shake. “Family?” I choked. “Is that a joke? Did it ever occur to you that I might be unhappy because you made me feel like there was something wrong with me and that I had deserved what had happened to me? Did you wonder if I ever got past it or were you hoping that I would continue to pretend? The only selfish people I see are the two of you.”