Don't Break This Kiss (Top Shelf Romance Book 5)

by Jessica Hawkins

  Liam froze at the word dying, swallowing hard. “She’s not going to die,” he growled out.

  Cross shook his head and then ran his hand over his face. “No, this isn’t going to kill her. I know that. Because we’re not going to let it. I just sometimes think about the worst thing that could happen and then I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s my fault, and I’m never, ever going to let Arden see that. Okay?”

  “I get you. It’s my job to think of the worst, too.”

  “As a writer. Yeah, I can see that. But this isn’t a book. This is her life. Your life. And after a while, sometimes, people don’t stay. They move on with their lives. Even her ex moved on. He couldn’t deal with the fact that, sometimes, she couldn’t just leave and go have fun. Sometimes, she just didn’t feel good enough or staying at home sounded more fun. Sometimes, she had to deal with stupid shit like her body trying to kill her. So I’m not going to let you hurt her. Okay? If you don’t want to be here for the long haul, then go. If this is too much, I get it. Just go.”

  “Don’t push me away,” Liam growled, his voice dangerous. “Did you do that for the others? Did you have them stand here and listen to you try to protect your baby sister and end up hurting her more for it?” Cross flinched and shook his head. “No, they did that all on their own. They left. I didn’t even have to warn them. You? I don’t know how stubborn you are, but my sister is sick, and I don’t want her to have to deal with anything else that might hurt her. Even you.”

  “I won’t hurt her. I don’t want to hurt her.”

  “Yeah, those two sentences don’t mean the same thing. But I can see something in you, so don’t fucking hurt her. Or I’ll hurt you. You get me?”

  Liam gave him a tight nod. “I get you. And I won’t tell her that we had this conversation. Because I have a feeling that would hurt her, too.”

  “Thanks for that. I don’t know what to do. She’s my baby sister. And she has so much more light in her than any of us. And it pisses me the fuck off that all I can do is watch her when she has bad days.”

  “I’m beginning to realize how hard it is to be on the sidelines. Though it’s harder for Arden.”

  “It’ll always be harder for her. But I’ll be there. And I really hope you will be, too. Because I don’t want to hurt you, Liam. I kind of like you.” He paused. “Moderately.”

  “I don’t know where we are. She and I just started this relationship. But if I hurt her? I have a feeling I’m going to let you hurt me.”

  “And that is the most honest thing you could’ve said.”

  They stood looking at each other for a few more minutes, and then they walked away from one another, Cross pulling out his phone, most likely to call one of the other Bradys. Liam went back to Arden’s room. She was awake, looking a little confused.

  “Did I hear Cross’s voice?” she asked, stretching. She looked better, a little less yellow, and that was good. Oh, she scared the fuck out of him.

  “Yeah, he’s out in the hallway. I think maybe talking to Prior?”

  “Ah, I knew they gave me too much time alone. Brothers.” She rolled her eyes and smiled.

  “Yeah. Brothers.” He took a seat next to her and stretched out, ignoring the twinge in his lower back. He’d just have to get used to sitting in these chairs. And that was an odd thought.

  “So, tell me about Nash and Penny.” She grinned as she said it, and he saw the light in her eyes, the one that was so bright that he hated when the pain dulled it.

  “What do you want to know?”

  “You ask that as if you’re going to tell me anything. But, is he going to save her?”

  “I hope so,” he whispered, looking down at her hand as he slid his into hers.

  “Good. Because love needs to win.” He gave her hand a squeeze.

  “Yeah. Yeah, it does.”

  Chapter 16

  Arden had been home for three weeks now and felt like she was back to normal. Or at least, whatever normal was for her. Yes, she still had lupus that wasn’t going away. But her body felt like it hadn’t been kicked in a while, so that was something.

  She had energy, her rash had gone away, and if she ignored the slight bruising in the crook of her elbow and hand from where she’d been stuck by the needles, she felt like nothing bad had happened.

  Oh, she knew it had. She knew her liver had taken a beating, and the rest of her body had gone along with it, but she was fine.

  She was home, and she was okay.

  And, later that night, Liam was going to come over, and they were going to watch a movie. They weren’t going out for a fancy date where’d she’d put on makeup and get dressed and be all energetic—but she could if she wanted to. Tonight, however, was just about them and watching a movie. She’d done the date three nights ago where she had put on heels and makeup. That had been fun. Coming home where he had made sweet love to her had been fun, too.

  She still couldn’t believe that she and Liam had been dating for as long as they had. Considering that she kept pulling part of herself away from him because she was afraid of getting hurt, she was really surprised.

  But she wasn’t going to worry about that just then. They were dating. She was healthy for the time being. So, she was going to live in the moment. And to do that, she had to focus on work.

  And the project she currently had was doing history searches for Liam’s current book. Apparently, he needed help with a few outlying issues for the second half of the book that he was working on.

  He had told her ahead of time that he was asking his editor for a double-check and more background, stuff that Liam had done on his own, but he wanted to see if there was anything else.

  And so, they had gone through the correct channels instead of him just asking her directly. She would’ve done it for him regardless, but she kind of liked the fact that even though she didn’t technically work for him, it was nice that he kept their work and private lives separate. That meant she could get paid for what she was doing, and pay that hefty bill that was on the way from the hospital.

  No, she wasn’t going to think about that. Not right now. She was just fine thinking about Nash and Penny and where the two of them were headed. Of course, that made Arden think about where she and Liam were headed, but she wasn’t going to think about that either.

  Not today. Today, she was going to delve into the worlds of Nash and Penny. And then maybe she would go out to lunch and treat herself to something nice. And then she’d have a date with Liam.

  Sounded like the perfect scenario to her.

  So, she threw herself into her book—or rather, Liam’s book. However, when she was working on it, she did kind of feel like it was hers. A bit.

  Today wasn’t about anything except the analytical parts. Making sure that things made sense and were historically accurate. Because while it was historical fiction and Liam would make some things up like he always did, other things had to be correct, or readers would blow a gasket. She’d probably blow a gasket too since she needed things to make sense. And if Arden were honest, she really wanted to know what was going to happen with Nash. She wanted to know what he would choose.

  Would he die? Would Penny? Or would they live happily ever after?

  Arden didn’t think the latter was quite there yet. Considering that Liam didn’t write romance, it wouldn’t really make sense for them to go off into the sunset. Not that there were many sunsets at the ends of the books she read. Well, now she was just going to have to find a romance where they actually did ride off into the sunset. That would be kind of interesting.

  And, that was enough of that. Time to work.

  She was lying on her oversized chair in her living room as she worked, using her internet for research rather than any of her texts just because she was able to for the day. And as long as she was comfortable, she would hopefully fend off another flare.

  That made her snort. Yeah, like you could actually do that with lupus. But a girl could dream.

  Jas
per was sharing the ottoman at the end of the chair with her feet, meaning she was using her Husky as a footrest rather than the actual furniture itself, but she didn’t mind.

  Sure, she should probably keep her dog off the furniture, but that was never going to happen. Jasper slept with her in bed—much to Liam’s dismay whenever the dog joined them after some cuddling.

  That made Arden snort.

  Yeah, a wet dog nose in places that should be far away from that wasn’t the greatest way to end an evening.

  She grinned, thinking about the fact that Jasper and Liam were getting to know each other. The two men in her immediate life. As long as they got along, that meant something.

  And then they would just have to make sure the other four men in her life, her big, bad brothers and her dad, who was number five, all got along.

  No, this wasn’t complicated at all.

  Once again, she pushed those thoughts out of her mind and went back to work, throwing herself into wars and different settings so she could make sure that the next L.M. Berry book was the best one yet.

  The fact that she would leave her little touches on one of her favorite series of all time? It meant everything. The fact that it happened to be Liam’s book? That meant even more. Even if it was a little weird.

  By the time she finished her work for the day, knowing she had another compendium that she could work on later that afternoon, it was lunchtime, and her stomach rumbled.

  “Okay, help me up,” she said to Jasper as she closed her computer. He got off the ottoman, shook himself awake, and then reached out with his paw to pat her leg.

  “You’re such a good boy,” she said, rubbing his head.

  She used her feet to kick the ottoman out, and Jasper helped her, leaning his body into it. Then she got off the chair, grateful that her boy was there, not leaning into her, but there just in case she needed him.

  He really was the best dog in existence. Even if he still liked to try and get into her baking.

  That reminded her, she hadn’t baked since her last hospital visit, and while the people at the community center and the senior center understood, she missed it. And she missed her people. So, she would make sure she got some baking done because it not only made her happy, she also knew it made others happy. Or at least gave them some light in their darkness. She was just setting her computer down when the doorbell rang. She frowned.

  “Wonder who that could be,” she asked her dog, who seemed on alert as he padded over to the door, looking over his shoulder at her as she came towards him.

  “I’m on my way,” she said, brushing the top of Jasper’s head with her hand. Then she looked through the peephole and smiled.

  “Bristol,” she said, partly opening the door. “I didn’t know you were coming over.”

  “Well, I finished practice, and I wanted coffee and maybe a sandwich or something. Since I was driving near here, I thought I’d stop by. And I know that, like Liam, you probably hate people just dropping by when you’re at work, even if it’s your house. So, you can tell me to go, and I will. But I thought I’d see what you were up to.”

  And see how Arden was feeling.

  Bristol didn’t say that, but she figured. The entire Montgomery clan knew what had happened to her by now, even if Arden didn’t know them all yet.

  But she had a feeling that if Liam let his family, they would all be over trying to make her feel better. Even his mother—a woman that he hadn’t actually spoken to yet since the paternity reveal.

  Arden knew that Liam was hurting, that all of them were, she just hoped that they figured it out soon. Because this type of break couldn’t be healed after a while, at least not in the way they’d want it to.

  “I was just thinking I needed lunch and might treat myself for a meal out. That sounds wonderful. Come on in. Let me put on some shoes.”

  “Do you need to take Jasper for a—?” Bristol cut herself off and then widened her eyes. “Liam said Jasper learned how to spell that word. So, do you need that?”

  Bristol laughed. “I’m going to let him out in the back before we go. Maybe when we get back from lunch, we can take him for that.”

  Jasper’s ears perked, and Arden knew that he knew what they were talking about. But it was fine, so she quickly let him out into the back yard to make sure he took care of his business and then kissed him on the top of the head before she got into Bristol’s car. They headed to the same café that she had gone to with Liam on their maybe-first date.

  That made Arden smile as they took a seat, and Bristol leaned forward. “What has you smiling?”

  “I was just thinking about how I think my first date with your brother was here.”

  “You think?”

  “Well, we met at the hospital as you know. But then we met again in the neighborhood when Liam found Jasper for me after Jasper ran off after a bunny.”

  “Liam told me that. I didn’t realize that Jasper ran off like that.”

  “He’s never done it before and hasn’t done it since. I think that he was just having a weird day that day.”

  “Or it was fate,” Bristol said, winking.

  That made Arden’s stomach clench, and she shook her head. “Or it was just a really tasty-smelling bunny.”

  “Okay, so I’m not having rabbit for lunch,” Bristol said with a snort.

  “Yeah, maybe something with only vegetables.”

  “Sounds like a plan. So, you guys came here that day, then?” Bristol asked as the waiter dropped off their drinks.

  “Yes. And then we ended up going out after that.”

  Arden blushed and then quickly put in her order for a Caesar salad minus the chicken, as well as a hefty dose of bread. She really wanted carbs.

  Bristol ordered the same, and then, as the waitress left, her friend grinned mischievously.

  “So, what has you blushing?”

  “It’s your brother. And I’m totally not talking about that.”

  Bristol snorted and put up her hands. “Yeah, I really shouldn’t have asked that. Let’s just pretend that everything is sweet and innocent. I’m totally not going to ask anything like that again.”

  “Yes, let’s not. So, how was practice?”

  “Same old, same old. I have an exhibition coming up, and then I might have to travel overseas because my agent is planning something that I’m not sure I’m comfortable with.”

  “If you’re not comfortable with it, don’t do it.”

  “No, it’s not like that. It’s more like I don’t think I’m ready.” She looked down at her fingers, playing with her napkin, and Arden studied the other woman.

  Bristol was becoming a world-renowned cellist and not only performed classical music, she also did pop hits and other fun songs that made her a sensation for the online crowd. She loved what she did, that much was evident in Bristol’s voice, but it was odd to think that such a talented woman could feel as if she weren’t good enough.

  “I think you’re amazing, and I’ve only seen you play online. I haven’t even seen you in real life.”

  Bristol ducked her head, looking shy. Which was weird because Arden wasn’t sure she’d ever seen Bristol looking shy.

  “Well, I guess we’re going to have to change that. But I try not to think about who’s actually in the audience when I play. I have never actually thought about my family being there. Because I might get all blushy.”

  “So, who do you not mind in the audience?”

  “I don’t like to think about anyone. But I guess, my agent. And Marcus. Mostly because he doesn’t actually care what I sound like. Not that my family cares. You know what I mean.”

  “No, I actually don’t,” Arden said with a laugh.

  “Marcus? He doesn’t care that he’s my friend. If I suck, I suck, and he tells me. It’s refreshing. My parents? It’s just that they always know that I’m going to be amazing, they’ve always been that type of parents. The ones that would never give me a participation trophy just because I did
something but more of a, ‘well, at least you tried,’ even though they wouldn’t say it like that. I’m not saying this right.”

  “They were supportive and wanted you to do whatever you wanted to make yourself happy?” Arden said, leaning back as their waiter dropped off their food. After saying “thanks,” they both dove in.

  “Yes, just like that. See? I kind of suck at words. That’s why I’m usually silent.”

  Arden choked on her salad.

  “Hey, my family is allowed to make fun of me and my attitude. You cannot.” Bristol paused and then grinned. “Unless you become family. If you know what I mean.”

  Arden cleaned up the Diet Coke from her shirt and glowered. “I think you’re being a little premature.”

  “Sure.”

  “So, you and Marcus?” Arden asked, turning the tables.

  Bristol wiped the dressing from her chin as she laughed. They were not having a good afternoon when it came to actually eating or drinking correctly.

  “Oh, not even in the slightest. I mean, he’s hot. But we’ve never seen each other that way.”

  “Doth the lady protest too much?” Arden asked, grinning.

  “No, I just think that Marcus likes a certain type of woman. And I like a certain type of man or woman. And I think of Marcus like a brother. Seriously. He’s like one step away from being a Montgomery.”

  “Wow, so sure.”

  “Oh, I’m sure. And, yes, I get that you’re just trying to make me not think about what the future may be between you and Liam, and that was mean. However, most people think that Marcus and I have slept together once or twice in our lives. Or that we’re still dating. But we’ve never. I just like the fact that I can have a completely platonic relationship with a man or woman and not have to have sex with them. I mean, it helps that Marcus has seen me at my worst, completely throwing up and everything.”