Fear of Love

by Carole Mortimer

  ‘I nearly went over the edge then,’ he said with a sigh, his face buried in her hair, his arm about her, waist. ‘Thank you for stopping me.’

  She kissed his brow. ‘I didn’t want to.’

  His hold tightened. ‘I know you didn’t,’ he said gently. ‘But it’s for the best.’ He stood up, pulling on his shirt. ‘I’ll take you home now, it’s very late. Trevor will have a search party out soon.’

  Alexander felt no self-consciousness as she rearranged her own clothing. ‘He knows where I am.’

  Dominic grinned. ‘That’s why I think he might come looking for you!’

  ‘He wouldn’t.’ She stood up, moving forward to kiss him softly on the lips.

  ‘Certainly not because he trusts me,’ he smiled at her.

  ‘No,’ she agreed with a laugh. ‘But he trusts me.’

  ‘Then he shouldn’t,’ he said gravely.

  ‘No, but he doesn’t know that. Neither did I until just now. I—er—I’m not sure I’ll be able to last six months.’

  Dominic moved away. ‘I’ll make sure you do. All right,’ he added at her scathing look, ‘I know that wasn’t a very good example of control, but I’m prepared for you now. At least you’ve restored my faith in my ability to satisfy a woman. I wonder if you know just how close you came to being taken right there on that sofa.’

  Alexandra blushed. ‘I think I do.’

  ‘Right, well, you’ll know not to push your luck too far again.’

  ‘You aren’t saying that we can’t be alone?’ she asked in dismay.

  His eyes deepened in colour. ‘No, I’m not saying that. I need to be able to kiss you, to hold you, but if I make any moves to touch you like that again you have to stop me.’

  ‘I’m not sure if I can.’

  ‘Just try.’ He put his hand out to her. ‘Come on, I’ll take you home.’

  ‘I’m not sure you should drive—you’ve been drinking tonight.’

  ‘I’m stone cold sober now. Passion has a way of doing that,’ he derided. ‘Besides, it’s late. I don’t want you driving alone.’

  Alexandra smiled at him shyly. ‘You’re very considerate all of a sudden.’

  ‘I have to be if I’m going to keep my young girl-friend interested in me.’

  ‘You’re mocking me now,’ she said crossly.

  ‘I’m mocking myself, Alex. Shall we go out to dinner tomorrow—today?’

  ‘That would be nice,’ she answered primly.

  Dominic laughed throatily, pulling her into his arms. ‘Now I’ve upset you,’ he lifted her chin to gently kiss her on the lips. ‘I was only teasing, darling.’

  She relaxed against him. ‘Am I allowed to tell Gail and Trevor about us?’

  ‘We don’t know if there is any us to tell anyone about yet, but I should think that by this time Trevor has a fair idea of what’s happening. They’ll realise soon enough that we’re going out together, that we feel something for each other, but there’ll be time enough in the future to talk to them about marriage. We don’t even know if it’s going to happen yet.’

  Alexandra frowned. ‘Do you have doubts?’

  ‘At this moment, no. But I have to be sure you can take the life I live before we make any definite plans.’

  She let him drive her home, wishing that she felt more sure of his feelings for her. Even after all that had been said and done tonight Dominic still hadn’t told her he loved her. But he wasn’t a man who liked commitments, not after the obvious failure of his first marriage, and she would just have to be satisfied with things as they were.

  He had more than proved that he was physically attracted to her, but could hold on to his self-control with her. She had his respect at least, it was a start.

  As Dominic brought the car to a halt outside the house Trevor came out to meet them, dressed in his nightclothes. ‘Do you realise what the time is?’ he attacked his brother. ‘Alexandra’s been gone almost three hours,’ he accused.

  She got out of the car. ‘Please, Trevor—’

  ‘Let me handle this, Alex,’ Dominic cut in. ‘You go inside. I’ll see you this evening, about eight o’clock.’

  She wanted to kiss him goodnight, but Trevor looked angry enough already without that. ‘All right,’ she squeezed his hand. ‘Tonight.’

  ‘Yes,’ the look in his eyes was for her alone.

  ‘You have a lot of explaining to do,’ she heard Trevor say aggressively as she let herself into the house.

  She smiled to herself as she heard Dominic’s soothing voice, watching them out of the kitchen window as they talked together for several minutes. Trevor didn’t look any less ruffled when they finally parted, but at least they hadn’t come to blows.

  ‘I thought you’d be in bed by now,’ Trevor said gruffly, locking the door behind him.

  ‘I wanted to make sure everything was all right.’

  ‘Well, I would hardly be likely to take a swing at Dom—he always could beat me, both verbally and physically. But I did ask you not to be long. So far tonight I’ve been down here for three glasses of water. I’ll be floating soon.’

  Alexandra giggled. ‘Oh, Trevor!’

  ‘I still don’t know what’s going on between you two, but Dom assures me I have nothing to worry about. Nothing to worry about!’ he scorned. ‘My sister-in-law disappears in the middle of the night to see my brother, she comes back here hours later looking thoroughly kissed and I’m told not to worry!’ He shook his head.

  ‘It was only kisses,’ she told him with a blush, knowing how nearly it had been more than that.

  ‘That’s what Dom said. Oh, let’s get to bed. Gail already thinks there’s something wrong with me because I’m drinking so much water, and I have to get up for work in a couple of hours. By the way, Dom asked me if it was okay for him to take you out to dinner this evening. I said yes. I take it you wanted to go?’

  Her eyes glowed. ‘Oh yes!’

  ‘My elder brother asking my permission to take you out,’ he muttered. ‘It’s ridiculous.’

  ‘Would you rather he hadn’t asked?’

  ‘I’m too tired to even think about it. Try not to disturb Gail on your way to bed, she doesn’t even realise you’ve been out.’ Trevor sighed. ‘I hope we have a son—a daughter is too much of a worry.’

  ‘A boy could turn out like his uncle,’ she teased.

  ‘God, yes!’ He ran his hand through his hair. ‘I can’t win either way.’

  ‘You’ll survive,’ she smiled.

  He grimaced. ‘I’m not so sure. I’ll leave it up to you what you choose to tell Gail. I’m completely confused about the whole thing.’

  Alexandra didn’t know what to tell Gail either, and she pondered on it all the next day. She had told her sister that she had a dinner date that evening, but she knew Gail assumed it was John. Gail adored Dominic, but Alexandra knew she was also well aware of his reputation with women, and she wasn’t sure of her reaction to her going out with him.

  It was very cowardly of her, but she left it until she had prepared Gail and Trevor’s evening meal, had her bath, and got herself ready to go out before saying anything to her sister. At least this way she wouldn’t have to listen to the dire warnings for too long.

  Tonight she was dressed as she had wanted to be last night, the black gown a gift she had treated herself to that afternoon. Dominic hadn’t said it was to be formal wear, but after all, tonight was by way of being a celebration for them. And in six months there would be even more to celebrate if she had her way.

  The black gown was quite simply cut, moulding to her breasts and flaring out from the waist in clinging folds that ended just below the knee. The thin ribbon shoulder-straps showed her creamy shoulders and the dark hollow between her breasts to advantage. It was a typical example of ‘the little black dress’ and it made her feel sophisticated—even if she wasn’t.

  Her hair was freshly washed and pulled back in a tight knot on top of her head, the severity of the style emphasising
her high cheekbones, the brilliance of her blue eyes and the generous curve to her lips.

  She went into Gail’s room at almost eight o’clock to say goodnight, to find her sister propped up against the pillows reading a magazine. She put the magazine down at Alexandra’s entrance, whistling appreciatively.

  ‘Who’s this for? Certainly not for John, you aren’t that interested in him.’ She patted the bed beside her for Alexandra to sit down.

  ‘You’re right, it isn’t for John. It’s—’ Alexandra stopped as the doorbell rang, the sound of the two men’s voices perfectly audible to them upstairs.

  Gail smiled. ‘It’s all right, it isn’t your escort. It’s Dominic.’

  ‘Yes,’ Alexandra said gruffly.

  ‘So, who are you going out with?’

  ‘It’s Dominic,’ she said abruptly.

  ‘I know, I just said—’ Gail’s look sharpened, changing to disbelief. ‘Are you telling me you’re going out with Dominic?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I see. So you don’t hate him any more?’

  Alexandra gave a relieved laugh. At least Gail hadn’t ridiculed her. ‘I don’t think I ever did, I just held a stupid grudge against him that should have been forgotten years ago.’

  ‘And he’s the reason you’ve been walking around the place like a pale ghost of yourself lately, not your break-up with Roger?’

  ‘Yes.’ Alexandra felt relieved now that the truth was at last coming out.

  ‘Why didn’t you just say so? You must have been worried to death!’

  ‘That just about sums it up,’ she admitted ruefully.

  ‘You aren’t going to get hurt in this?’ Gail looked worried. ‘You know Dominic isn’t the faithful type. I don’t want you to become just another of his discarded women.’

  ‘Perhaps I’ll be different,’ Alexandra said lightly.

  ‘I wonder how many of them thought the same thing,’ Gail retorted dryly.

  ‘Let’s just hope I will be.’ Alexandra stood up. ‘I have to go now, Gail. Dominic isn’t the most patient of men.’

  Almost as if on cue Dominic and Trevor came into the bedroom. ‘You look as if you’re worth waiting for,’ Dominic drawled, kissing her lightly on the cheek. ‘And how is my favourite sister-in-law this evening?’ He bent to kiss Gail too.

  ‘Slightly confused at the moment.’

  ‘Because I’m taking Alex to dinner?’ he queried lightly. ‘Don’t worry about it, Gail. I’ll make sure she isn’t home late.’

  ‘That isn’t what I’m worried about!’

  ‘It’s only dinner, Gail, nothing more.’ He looked at the wide gold watch on his wrist. ‘We’ll have to leave now—I have a table booked for nine and we have a way to drive. See you two later.’

  Once in the car Alexandra gave him fleeting glances from under her long lashes, her senses spinning at how attractive he looked. The dark grey trousers fitted snugly to his thighs, his silk shirt was snowy white, the royal blue velvet jacket fitted tautly across his shoulders.

  He turned to look at her. ‘You’re very quiet.’

  ‘You—you made our going out together sound very trivial,’ she said huskily.

  ‘And that upset you?’ he asked gently.

  ‘Yes.’

  He drove the car on to the side of the country road, switching off the engine before turning in his seat to look at her. ‘I’m sorry, darling,’ his thumb moved caressingly across her cheek. ‘I just didn’t want them to make a fuss out of it and embarrass you. Forgive me?’ he asked coaxingly.

  She turned her face into his hand. ‘Oh, Dominic, I missed you today!’

  His arm went about her shoulders and he pulled her against his side. ‘I missed you too,’ he said huskily, his lips against her throat. ‘I’ve been picking up the telephone all day intending to call you and then changing my mind. Talking to you wasn’t enough,’ his lips claimed hers, his hands cradling each side of her face. ‘God, I needed that so badly!’

  He did love her, he did, even if he wouldn’t admit it yet! ‘Dominic, I love you,’ she told him shyly.

  He smiled at her in the darkness, his face only inches away from her own. ‘If you tell me that often enough I may even get to believe it.’

  Alexandra raised her face so that her lips touched his. ‘I’ll tell you as often as you like,’ she promised.

  His hand was on her hair. ‘How is this pinned up?’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because it looks wonderfully sophisticated, and I appreciate the fact that you’re trying to look older for me, but I—’

  ‘I am not!’ she pouted. ‘I was only—’

  ‘But I prefer my wild darling,’ he continued as if she hadn’t spoken. ‘I like to bury my face in your hair and feel its clean darkness about me.’

  She pulled out the one clip holding her hair in place and shook it down about her shoulders. ‘Better?’

  Dominic nodded approvingly. ‘Much better.’ He straightened in his seat, moving away from her. ‘We’d better get on, I’m not used to seducing women on road-sides.’

  She laughed softly. ‘Poor Dominic, reduced to the level of us other mortals!’

  He restarted the car engine. ‘You are a little tease, young lady,’ he accused grimly.

  She snuggled against him. ‘Only with you, Dominic. Where are you taking me this evening?’

  ‘To a new restaurant about twenty miles away from here. I’ve heard it’s very good.’

  Alexandra gave him a sharp look. ‘Is there any reason why we have to go so far?’

  ‘None at all, except as I said, someone told me it was a good restaurant.’

  ‘Oh.’

  He gave her a sharp look. ‘Are you accusing me of trying to hide you away in dark corners?’ he snapped angrily. ‘Is that what you think, Alex?’

  She looked abashed. ‘Well, I—It did cross my mind,’ she admitted reluctantly.

  ‘Then I’ll take you to the local pub tomorrow night,’ he said abruptly. ‘That should more than prove to you that I don’t intend hiding anything.’

  ‘It was only a thought, Dominic. I didn’t—’

  ‘Then put the thought right out of your mind,’ he interrupted haughtily. ‘I would be defeating the object of letting people get used to our names being linked if I didn’t let people see us together. I just wanted to try this restaurant out, that’s all.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Dominic. I shouldn’t even have thought such a thing.’

  ‘No, you shouldn’t,’ he agreed distantly.

  ‘I love you.’ She looked at him pleadingly.

  The harshness left his face, his taut body relaxed. ‘Okay, we’ll forget it this time. But don’t think you can get round me all the time by telling me you love me. It won’t work every time.’

  But it had worked this time and the dinner they shared together was very enjoyable. Dominic was knowledgeable about many things and they talked ceaselessly throughout the meal, oblivious to their surroundings and to a certain extent to the food they ate, although Alexandra felt sure it was a delicious meal.

  ‘The restaurant lives up to your friend’s recommendation.’ She sipped some of the wine left in her glass while Dominic enjoyed an after-dinner brandy.

  ‘I’ll tell him you said so,’ he mocked.

  ‘Him?’

  ‘You thought it was a woman,’ he guessed correctly. ‘Your jealousy is a little transparent, darling. I don’t have women in this area, I save that for London.’

  ‘Saved,’ she corrected pointedly. ‘It will be the past tense, won’t it?’

  ‘After the fiasco with Sabrina, yes.’

  ‘Is that the only reason?’ she demanded. ‘Because you’re afraid you might fail again?’

  His grey eyes watched her over the rim of his glass. ‘After last night you can still ask that?’

  She blushed. ‘No, I’m just behaving stupidly again.’

  Dominic sat forward to put his hand over the one she had resting on the table. ‘I’ve bee
n teasing you a little too. I knew you would assume a woman had recommended this place. Let’s get out of here, I want to kiss you again.’

  She smiled at him eagerly, wanting that too. She was prevented from standing up by a man walking past their table and she waited for him to pass.

  ‘Well, well, well,’ the man drawled in a slurred voice. ‘If it isn’t my ex-girl-friend and her new boy-friend,’ he scorned sarcastically.

  Alexandra looked up into eyes glazed by too much drink, Roger’s deep brown eyes that had always seemed so gentle and kind to her in the past.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ALEXANDRA had paled considerably, but Dominic seemed unperturbed. ‘Young,’ he said coldly. ‘I would ask you to join us, but we were just leaving.’

  ‘Were you now,’ Roger sneered. He looked contemptuously at the older man. ‘I suppose it is time a child like Alexandra was home in bed.’

  ‘Roger!’ She looked around them self-consciously to see if anyone was witnessing this scene, but the other diners were either too polite to show they had heard the conversation or else they were all genuinely absorbed in their meal.

  ‘But whose bed would it be, that’s what I ask myself,’ he continued insultingly.

  Angry grey eyes glittered up at him. ‘You’re drunk, Young, or I’d put you on the floor for that remark.’

  Roger tried to focus on him. ‘Why? Because I know the truth about the two of you?’

  ‘It’s because you don’t know the truth that I’m able to excuse your rudeness.’ Dominic’s words struck out like a whiplash. ‘Now why don’t you go home and sober up?’

  ‘I’m sobering up right now,’ Roger said dazedly. ‘Probably for the first time in months. I was blinded for four months by Alexandra’s apparent naïveté, only to be rudely awakened to her real nature when you began to taken an interest. I just hope you realise you’re destined for the same fate. I was replaced by someone richer and more worldly, your time will probably come when she meets someone with wealth and youth.’

  Alexandra felt sick and Dominic had gone very pale beneath his tan. ‘I want to leave now,’ she said chokingly.

  ‘You do realise I’m right, Tempest,’ Roger was obviously well into the subject now. ‘You’re famous, a television personality, you seem exciting to Alexandra now, but once the novelty wears off she’ll realise that you’re twice her age, totally immoral, and play the sophisticated type of games she’s only read about in dirty books.’