Butterfly Boys

by Cameron James

  “I don’t know.” Enzo said softly, “Emma wasn’t.”

  “Obviously.” Oakley said thoughtfully, Enzo frowned at him, “her names Emma, it’s quite the giveaway.”

  “You weren’t raised neutrally.” Enzo said shaking zir head, Oakley frowned at Riley.

  “No, you were raised as he.” He said thoughtfully, “but Oakley is a neutral name, it means meadow of oak trees.” He said amused, Oakley smiled at him. “Rory also is neutral. We figured if you were to transition if you had a name you liked it’d be easier for you.”

  “Alistair chose not to know either Luca or Connor’s genders until they came out. He didn’t raise them neutrally but, he also didn’t want to know whilst they were growing what they were going to be.”

  “And I think we can all agree Luca will be joining us here sooner rather than later.” Oakley said, Enzo laughed.

  “Luca wants to do drag; he isn’t nonbinary.” Enzo said softly, “he’s wanted to do drag since he was about five.”

  “What are you reading Riley?” Frankie asked, I looked at him as he smiled whilst fiddling with his vape.

  “A letter from Kaiden.” Alistair and Enzo’s adoptive father, and the man in charge of Rainbow Connection. “He’s thanking us for our efforts this weekend and thanking us personally for raising sixty pounds for the centre.” He said then looked around us all. “So, thank you.” He said, we all laughed as we applauded ourselves.

  Rainbow Connection non-binary started only a matter of years ago. Most of the other support groups had been running for years, Rainbow Connection trans had been running since Riley was thirteen and he had been a member since then too. When Kaiden had adopted Enzo and Alistair, and Enzo had announced zir non-binary status there had been whispers about RCNB’s creation but it stayed in the backburner.

  Then Oakley came out, and Enzo started dating Caleb, and Oakley invited Skylar to the youth club so they could spend more time together, and all of a sudden there was five members eligible for a non-binary support group so Kaiden agreed and allowed it to form, so long as Riley became the group leader, which he did willing.

  That same Summer Frankie joined as a fresh faced fifteen year old who’d just figured out he was actually non-binary.

  A month or so later, Frankie dragged me inside with him as I was stood timid, afraid and just sixteen outside trying to persuade myself to actually go into the building. He had spotted me as he went to go in himself, turned back around and came to me. He offered his hand to me, and stood patiently waiting as I inspected his hand, and the building over, and over until I grabbed hold and let him drag me in.

  We were only a matter of minutes late; introductions hadn’t even started. A sixteen year old Skylar and a fifteen year old Oakley stood laughing hysterically at something we’d just missed, neither of them able to catch their breaths to say anything over their giggles whilst a pregnant with Emma, Enzo set out the seats and Riley attempted with all his will not to join in with the hysterical laughter, and somehow he fought it. Sitting himself on the central chair and welcoming us into the circle.

  Hello, I’m Riley, he, him. My favourite colour is lavender.

  Enzo, zie, zir. My favourite colour is green.

  Caleb, they, them. My favourite colour is that middle colour, you know, blue green.

  Oakley, he, they. My favourite colour is pink, check the hair.

  Skylar, they, them. My favourite colour is orange.

  Frankie, he, him. My favourite colour is amethyst.

  “Hi, hello, um, hi. I’m Sam. He, him I guess, I’ve never thought that any different, so, yeah, he, him and, and my favourite colour, is hm, blue. Not normal blue, not like just your average blue, I think it’s called cerulean. It’s not quite turquoise but it’s trying to be turquoise and I like that. It’s also a breed of butterfly, the cerulean butterfly.

  It’s not me who’s obsessed with butterflies by the way, it’s my friend Olly, he adores them, wants to be a lepidopterist, but he told me, butterflies can have this thing where they have dual-genders, they can literally be male and female at the same time. They literally show it on their wings one side is male, one side female. They are outwardly both and neither gender, like us.” I paused. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

  “Welcome to Rainbow Connection Non-binary Sam.”

  “They all rolled in about three am, drunk and loud.” Riley said to Enzo, who laughed instantly.

  “To yours?”

  “To mine.” Riley agreed nodding, “Kieran just groaned at me when I offered the house to them.” he said amused. “It wasn’t quite as loud as the groan when they turned in though.”

  “Just think we’ll have three teenagers at one point.” Enzo said to Caleb, alarm passed briefly over their face before examining each of us.

  ❋

  Chapter Three

  “I don’t think I can deal with smelling.” Frankie said thoughtfully as he lifted his feet so they rested on my knees, across our bags that we had settled in the space between the train seats.

  “You won’t smell.” I said, he pulled a face at me, I shrugged. “Get a wash.” I added; he rolled his eyes.

  “I bought these like adult sized baby wipes.” He said then he began to laugh, “oh why, why did I agree to a festival.”

  “It was your idea.”

  “With tents, and earth and no showers, and mud.”

  “It was your idea.”

  “You could’ve said no. Said no Frankie, not a festival, how about a beach holiday in Salou instead?”

  “No Frankie not a festival.” I said, he scoffed.

  “Too late now isn’t it.” he muttered as our train pulled into the next station. I watched as the people from the platform loaded themselves onto the train, people filling the aisles for all of a minute before finding a seat and settling in it.

  “Sorry this one is taken.” Frankie said, grinning up at Chandler as he planted his bag onto it. Chandler laughed, a short sound, that of course radiated sarcasm.

  “By me.” he said as turned to look over his shoulder, smiling as Olly shimmed past him, completely neglecting his bag as he knelt on the seat beside me and hugged me.

  “I’ve missed you Sam.” He said happily into my ear, so I cuddled him tighter.

  “How have you been?” I whispered, he nodded over and over before sitting on the seat beside me. “How’s University?”

  “Something else.” He said shaking his head, “because I want to be a lepidopterist, my lecturers are letting me do pretty much all my papers and essays on butterflies and it’s just, it’s a dream come true.” He said happily, “I mean, of course it’s the worse being an hour or so away, but it’s a quality train journey.”

  “Which is of course all that matters.” Chandler said as he lifted his backpack up onto the hold.

  “He literally only needs two things to keep him happy, we might as well keep him happy.” Frankie stated then turned to look at Chandler. “Is that skin I see.” He purred; Chandler sighed as he laughed looking through his raised arms at Frankie as he bit his tongue. “How’s being a big strong technician working out for you?” he asked, Chandler nodded as he took his seat.

  “Awesome, I’m genuinely really enjoying it.”

  “Good.” Frankie said softly nodding to him then looking at me, so I smiled, looking away and laughing as he smiled back at me.

  “And you, fashion guru?” Olly said tapping Frankie’s knee, Frankie half nodded back.

  “It’s good.” He said then laughed in a dismissive way, “not what I was expecting, I guess. Sam however, Sam’s loving Sports Science.”

  “Yeah.” I paused, “but can we maybe not discuss uni, you know whilst we’re on holiday.”

  “That’s fair.” Chandler said, “remind me again why you picked a field?” he said Frankie moaned so I laughed high fiving Chandler as I did, until he took my hand. “What happened on Pride? You know with that girl?”

  “Girl?” Olly repeated, “there was a girl, on P
ride?”

  “Lydia.” I said, he smirked.

  “She has a name.” he said to Olly who gasped,

  “You’re telling me Samuel went to the extent of… knowing her name.”

  “For a blowjob, yeah.” I said, then laughed, “got to make sure I knew what to shout didn’t I.”

  “Smart.” Frankie said, so I looked at him as he smirked at me. “Might have to remember that this week.” He added pulling his tongue at me, I did it back as Olly groaned.

  “We have separate tents, right?” he whispered, Chandler shook his head slowly.

  “Sorry.” He whispered.

  The tent, was a surprise. A pre-setup bell tent with a wooden patio, fairy lights were attached to the peak of the tent, a little solar panel on the roof which I’m sure would make the fairy lights twinkle when it got dark.

  “Worth the extra twenty huh.” Frankie said as he stepped onto the patio. Olly laughed as he followed walking around Frankie and opening up the tent.

  “Beds.” Frankie stated in delight at the mattresses that just had a small piece of wood to separate themselves from the floor. Both mattresses were double, with no bedding as I presume you were supposed to use your sleeping bag.

  “You good to share?” Chandler asked nodding towards the bed nearest to Frankie, “I’m good to share with Olly.” He said smiling at Olly as he sat himself on the bed and bounced on the mattress. “Presuming he doesn’t kick.”

  “Olly doesn’t.” I said then turned to Frankie, he grinned happily. “Frankie does.”

  “Frankie does.” He nodded, “It’s true.” He said softly, then he laughed as he pulled his sleeping bag out of his backpack. I smiled at him until he ushered me away from the bed so he could make it.

  “The gigs don’t start until tomorrow.” Chandler said as he sat beside Olly, “in the meantime?”

  “Too early to start drinking?” Frankie said, I laughed as he took my backpack and searched out my sleeping bag. Until he found it, unrolling it and throwing it down next to his.

  “Do you have beer?” Chandler asked, Frankie turned and frowned at him.

  “No.” he said gasping, Chandler laughed.

  “Poor planning.” Olly said then he grinned happily at Frankie as if it somehow made the shade he was throwing better. “I have beer.” He said, Frankie raised his eyebrow.

  “As do I.” I whispered, Frankie gasped, as he explored further into my bag until he found the six pack of cans. He held them up triumphantly before cracking them off the rings that held them together.

  “I thought you drank cider.” Chandler said as he stood from the bed and took the offered can,

  “Frankie drinks beer when nothing else is an option.” I said, Frankie nodded.

  “Frankie will be drinking cider for the rest of the weekend.” He stated as he opened the can in his hand. He passed it to me then opened another.

  We lay on the patio underneath the stars, once my pack of beers had run dry and Olly had refused us access to his with the comment of, we’d regret it when we’d ran out of money in a few days. We lay quietly mostly, appreciating the calm before the storm, watching as the fairy lights twinkled against the stars.

  “This is why I chose a field.” Frankie whispered, I looked down towards him, stroking my fingers over his knee so he looked back down towards me.

  “I still don’t peg you as someone who enjoys spending time in a field.” I said, he grinned.

  “Yeah I’m not.” He said amused, I laughed as Olly did.

  “I’m choosing next year.” He said as he sat up,

  “We’re going to Butlins then?” Chandler said, as he also sat up, Olly laughed.

  “What is wrong with Butlin’s by the sea? If you go to Bognor there’s a butterfly farm nearby.”

  “And we can go by train?”

  “And we can go by train.” He agreed nodding,

  “See two things, simple.” Frankie whispered, I laughed as Chandler sighed and stood.

  “I’m going to look for the toilet, then I think go to bed. Come with?” he asked, Olly nodded standing up with him. “You two, behave.” Chandler almost sang as he jumped from the patio and began to walk with Olly their phones as their lights.

  “I feel like I have a reputation.” Frankie murmured,

  “You do.” I whispered, he looked at me as I sat up. “Trouble causer and rule breaker.” I said, he gasped.

  “Speaking of, ground rules?”

  “Ground rules?” he repeated, I nodded.

  “If you bring a boy back here and have sex on my sleeping bag, I will personally see to ensuing you can never have sex again.”

  “Got you.” Frankie said laughing, “their tent?”

  “Their tent, or, somewhere else. Just not here.”

  “You condone sex against a tree, but not on your sleeping bag.”

  “I won’t make you do anything I wouldn’t.” I said, he laughed the sound surprised so I smiled at him.

  “If you don’t get anyone, although this is remarkably unlikely, me and you, a tree?” he winked, it made me tingle, then I shrugged.

  “Sure.” I whispered, he laughed, “make sure you don’t sleep in their tent though.”

  “I’ll be back in bed next to you, every night. I promise.” He said then held his pinkie out to me, so I linked it.

  It was loud the next morning, the sound of the stages echoing around the tent waking me up with a start. I groaned, rubbing my eyes as my pupils attempted to adjust to the light shining through the top of the tent. I soon gave and turned my head, smiling at Frankie as he did the same, rolling over and burying his head into his pillow as he groaned, so I sat up. Looking over Frankie towards Chandler and Olly. Olly was also sat up, shaking his head whilst rubbing his eyes as Chandler somehow continued to sleep on next to him. He turned to look at me, then he smiled.

  “Morning.” He said softly, I nodded to him.

  “Morning. Did you find the bathrooms last night?” I asked, he shook his head the laughter quiet as he reached for his phone,

  “Why use a urinal when you can use a tree.” He said, then turned to me. “We gave up pretty quickly though admittedly.” He added, I nodded as I moved down the bed, pulling a hoodie out of my backpack.

  “Where are you going?” Frankie whispered, I turned to look at him.

  “Toilet.” I whispered, he groaned so I laughed as he also sat up. “Take me with you.” He said, Olly laughed as Frankie sighed and got out of the bed, reaching for my hand so I took his.

  The field was alive as we got closer to it, people seemed to span for miles and miles, the smells of various different truck side foods assaulting our senses as we even took the barest of steps into the field. Some people were already forming a crowd, adamant that they were going to watch the punk band that was due to come onto the stage in the next ten minutes or so. Whilst others just floated around, painting each other’s faces and putting flowers in each other’s hair. We lost Chandler pretty quickly, as he drifted off towards a food truck, Olly half walking, half running after him until he caught up and walked alongside him.

  I turned back to look at Frankie, almost laughing as I lost him too, searching for him until I found the florals of his shirt, and watched as he zipped through the crowds until he obviously found what he was looking for. He turned, clocking me and waving then zipping back off through the crowds until he found somewhere else. I laughed as he turned from there and started back towards me. Two plastic cups in his hands, one with fizzing pink liquid and the other a coke. He held the coke out to me grinning as I took it.

  “Why do I get coke, and you get a cider?” I asked, he laughed,

  “Drink it.” he said softly as I examined him, he now had a flower crown of roses resting on his head, another hung from his belt loop, I took a sip, then I coughed.

  “Vodka and coke. I see.” I said, he laughed.

  “I presume it’s not too early.” he purred, I laughed as I shook my head.

  “I guess not.�
� I said as I took another sip. “Who’s that one for?” I asked nodding towards the tulip crown, he laughed raising his hip to me.

  “Do you want it?” he whispered; I tilted my head to him. “I bought it, for me.” he smiled, “I was going to lend it to Olly.”

  “Then it’s Olly’s.”

  “Not if you want it.” he said as he disconnected the crown from his belt, he passed me his cup then grinned at me, as he twirled the twine back around each other and lifted it, settling it on my head. He stroked my fringe away then he grinned. “You look very pretty.”

  “Really?” I whispered, he nodded then he laughed.

  “You always look pretty Sam. You’re the prettiest boy I know. You feeling…” he sighed as he struggled to articulate it,

  “Feminine.” I whispered, “I hate that term.” I said in a sigh, “but yeah.”

  “Why didn’t you say? I’d have…”

  “You’d have?”

  “I don’t know.” He said thoughtfully, I laughed leaning my forehead against his and shaking my head at him. He smiled at me, as his eyes searched my face, then he kissed my cheek. “Embrace it pretty boy.” He said then looked behind me so I turned as Olly came back towards us with a hotdog. Chandler behind him with a little red basket of chips.

  “Day drinking?” he said, I laughed,

  “Problem?” I said, he smirked as he held out his hand to me so I gave him my drink.

  “No problem at all.” He said softly as he drank from it, “you’re making good choices Sam.” He said, I laughed as Olly gasped at me,

  “Love this.” He said softly as he stroked over the buds on the crown. “Butterflies love tulips.” He said nodding, then he grinned before turning towards the sound of a microphone being picked up. He joined in with the cheering pretty much instantly, then turned to us and laughed, so we also joined in the cheering.

  I sighed as I took a step to the side, looking down the queue to the toilets which seemed never ending then turned and walked in the other direction, walking around the never-ending line of people and towards the more forested area. I circled a few trees, walking further out until I felt like I was far enough away from passing traffic to unzip. I looked around the tree as I rested my hand on it, sighing in relief of my emptying bladder and the almost silence as the stages were too far away, I could just about hear the bass in the music that was playing but not enough for it to vibrate through my entire body.